I own nothing you recognize. All original characters and storylines are my own.

Chapter Seven

"Make it happen Paco." The newest member of SAMCRO nodded and went out leaving me alone. I sat back and started doing the hand exercises my doctor wanted me to do. Even though I couldn't use my arm there was no reason why I couldn't keep the strength in my hand up and my Dr. Mellencamp agreed and came up with these exercises for me. I'd just finished ten fist squeezes and was about to do my wrist rotate when the sound of women yelling came from the hallway. I couldn't hear what they said but there was a lot of rage in their voices. I recognized one as Chantal so I knew this fight was coming to my room and I had to sigh. Suddenly there was the sound of a body hitting a wall and a familiar and wholly unwelcome head entered my room.

"Hey Milla." I took a deep breath and rotated my wrist as Ima stood at the foot of my bed and Chantal followed rubbing her arm and scowling.

"Chick! Ray!" I called to my bodyguards and got no response so I turned my attention to Chantal.

"Chanty, I get why you're here but why's Imawhore?" I began the opposite rotation while Chantal chuckled at the nickname I'd recently christened Ima with and climbed into the bed next to me and offered resistance to my wrist rotation. Juice would be gone so I needed as many people as possible to know my physical therapy routine.

"Oh be nice. I thought I'd come visit my future sister in law." She sounded peppy and excited as she sat in the chair by the bed and I raised my eyebrow.

"What did you do and how is my brother involved?" Chantal stopped offering the resistance and just sat watching my reactions to Ima.

"I helped him forget the frigid doctor bitch last night." I felt my chest get tight and Chantal put an arm around my shoulder.

"You fucked my brother? Jesus-fucking Christ." I felt a sharp pain in my head and took a deep breath.

"Yep and I just wanted to let you know that it'll only be a matter of time before I'm his Old Lady, the VP's Old Lady, that means I can order you around." She looked so smug I snorted.

"Before you get too far ahead of yourself sweetheart, what makes you think my brother wanted you for something other than a quick fuck. If he fucked you he had a reason and I doubt it was for the reason you think." I knew it couldn't be, he and Tara had been having problems and I knew cheating was a deal breaker for her, she still didn't understand how Ma or I could forgive our men for any infidelity. As I looked at Ima's face all I wanted to do was bash it in, but I decided destroying her emotionally was the way to go.

"He wants me, I know he does." She didn't look so sure.

"Honey, Jax has only loved three women in his life. My mom, me and Tara and his love for her is one of those cosmic things, they're magnets and no matter what happens they'll always find each other. What did he say this morning, once he had a chance to experience buyer's remorse?" I wanted to know just what made her think she actually mattered.

"The doctor walked in and he told me to get out. He has a lot on his mind and he-" I put up my good hand.

"Tara saw? What the fuck? Chanty can you see if she's on rotation today? I wanna see how she's doing and you, stay there I have one last thing to say to you." Chantal got out of the bed and went to the nurse's station while I collected my thoughts and turned to Ima. "I'm only going to say this once, you aren't worth the breath it would take to reiterate. You are nothing, not to Jax, not to anyone. My brother fucked you because you're an easy lay, he wanted to use someone who didn't matter to push away the one person who does. If you were to get into a car accident and die while leaving this very hospital no one would mourn you, especially not the man you think wants you. Now I want you to leave and don't come near me or the Sons again or you'll find yourself in a shallow grave somewhere in the foothills. Don't doubt me, I can make it happen."

"Your brother wants me, you have to be nice to me." She was a sociopath, she had to be for this reaction or at least in serious denial.

"My brother doesn't know what the fuck he wants but I can guarantee it's not you. Go near him again and I will destroy you. You can get a lot of shit done from a hospital bed." I sat back and started doing my exercises again, effectively ignoring the bitch who was gaping like a fish. "Go now and never darken my doorstep again. I don't know what you wanted to prove this morning but coming here and harassing me was a big fucking waste of time. Go. Shoo."

I made the gesture and she stood up. She walked out with her head held high and I took a deep breath. There, she was gone and hopefully for good. I was bluffing earlier, there was no way I could organize a hit on her. If I could've she would have been dead when Caruso's goon attacked me. It was a good thing that she was a pathetically stupid little slut. After I calmed myself down I continued the exercises and attempted to put myself in a zen state, my heart had been a little off since Ima had entered my room so I needed to fix that.

"She's on rotation babe, she has to do a quick check on a patient but she'll be right up." I nodded and Chantal sat in the vacant seat. It was Saturday so I didn't have to worry about her missing work for me and it made me feel less guilty about having her around.

"What did you tell her?" I assumed she'd seen Tara to get that tidbit of information.

"I just told her you wanted to see her. She looks rough though, I feel bad about what happened. Though I will say there was a plus, she didn't treat me like walking garbage." She crossed her legs and folded her hands over her knee.

"Thank you, you're a godsend." With a sigh I rolled my neck and worked out the tension.

I was sitting alone in my room; Chantal went to get us some breakfast that wasn't hospital food. I appreciated everything she'd been doing for me and was wracking my brain for ways to pay her back. I owed her big. I had begun wondering where Tara was when there was a knock on my door. Good I needed to talk to her, let her know that no matter how big of a whore my brother was I loved her.

"About ti-" I cut myself off when I saw my brother enter. Speak of the fucking devil. "Speak your piece then get out."

"You heard about that? Bad news travels fast." He sat on the edge of my bed and I tried to nudge him off.

"When your conquest comes to my room to brag about it it's hard to ignore." He took a deep breath and growled.

"That bitch, she won't be bothering you again. I didn't want you involved in this. You have enough shit going on." He reached out to take my hand and I moved it to press it against my chest.

"If you didn't want me involved why'd you go whorin' it up? Jax, you realize it's not just you and Tara involved in this right? It's me, Ma, Abel, the club we're all involved in this shit too. I love Tara, hell I adore her and even as you push her away I'll be pulling her in. You think Espy and I can survive without her? You think Mom will let her go? Hell no she's in too deep. She's an Old Lady even if you say goodbye she's a part of all of this." He ran a hand through his hair.

"You don't get it, I did what I had to do, now she's safe." I snorted, he didn't get it.

"No now she's a fucking target. She's like a lone gazelle on the Serengeti, the lions will be circling and she'll be fucked. I thought you were growing up Jax, thinking about people other than yourself, hell I thought you were thinking. This decision was impulsive and will bite you in the ass, mark my words." He took a deep breath and I sighed. "I know your decision wasn't just to protect Tara, you wanted her gone. You blame her for Abel, we all know it."

"No I don't." He shook his head and this time I grabbed his arm and brought his attention to me.

"What purpose would it serve if she were dead Jax? Then you'd have lost your son, your lover and a friend. Tara did everything she could short of dying and if that doesn't prove that she's your Old Lady and Abel's mother I don't know what could. Do you blame me too Jax? I was watching movies with Ellie, I wasn't there to stop it. Do you blame Ma? She was setting things right. Do you blame Kip? He fucking died and it still happened. You see blaming anyone other than Hayes is a stupid waste of resources. Jax, think about it, you need her." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again before he looked at me.

"I love you Milla but you don't understand. I came here to tell you that we're leaving for Belfast this afternoon. Oswald got us a plane and we're going, Juice will be by in a little bit to say goodbye. Be safe and get better." He kissed my forehead and was gone. The selfish bastard didn't listen to a damn word I said.

I was still fuming a few minutes later when my cardiologist, Dr. Bremmer came in. The kind, jovial man was not in my good graces at the moment and he knew it. Even so he came in and gave me one of his flashing smiles.

"How's my favorite patient this morning?" He stood by the bed with my charts at the ready, he looked and frowned. "Apparently the morning wasn't a good one. Get some upsetting news?"

"You could say that. What's up doc?" He chuckled and ran a pen down the chart.

"I just wanted to give you some good news. I spoke with Drs. Nior, Mellencamp and Knowles this morning and we are all in the agreement that you are well enough to go home. Of course you will need a nurse to assist in basic care but we are confident that you will recover. According to your husband a nurse has already been hired to assist in your care and she will be meeting with Dr. Nior and myself this afternoon, Dr. Mellencamp had to return to Sacramento but he has assigned a proxy to provide care information to your nurse." I couldn't keep the grin off my face as Dr. Bremmer finished his announcement.

"Thank you doctor." He smiled and made a note in the chart.

"You're very welcome, now I have to go talk to your mother about her treatment. I'll be back to see you before you're discharged and I expect to see you next week for a follow up. Feel better and don't get anymore upsetting news." He gave me a smile and went out the door, I was still on the high from the news when I heard his voice, "Hello Dr. Knowles, the patient is up and active. Be sure she gets good news."

Tara came through the door and gave me a weak smile. I was glad I didn't look much like Jax because that would have been torture for her. I motioned for her to come over and take the seat next to me and she did. Her smile stayed as she placed her hands in her lap.

"How are you sweetheart?" I asked as I gave her what I hoped was a soft look, the last thing I wanted her to see was pity.

"I don't know. I'm done with Jax, I can't be with someone who resents me and fucks a random slut to push me away. It's not even the cheating that hurts, but right now it's the only thing I can focus on. Anger's easier to deal with than pain." I nodded at her wisdom, "When Juice cheated on you how'd you deal? "

"Well I don't really consider it cheating anymore. It was a moment of pure insanity. It hurt like hell at first to know he'd go to someone else, hurt even more to see it. I talked to a lot of people; you included, and did a lot of soul searching and discovered that I could move on from it, it was just an assisted hand job. It was no different than a doctor helping a patient with performance anxiety. He loves me and hasn't even looked at another woman since then. I trust him and know he won't do it again." I sighed thinking about my husband who I hadn't seen since he'd left that morning and who there was a chance I might never see again. Belfast was sure to be dangerous and it tore my gut to think he might not come home to me, but I was a club kid I had to accept it.

"I don't have that consolation; he also told me this wasn't my family, that Abel wasn't my family, that's what I can't forgive." She was angry, good, anger was the best thing to feel right now.

"He's trying to be noble and he's going about it the wrong way. He thinks pushing you away will keep you safe but he doesn't know. We're the women of SAMCRO, it's never safe for us whether we're with our men or not." She gave me a considering look and I continued. "On the other hand he's a douchebag and an idiot and you should have ignored him. You are family; you're my sister, Mom's adopted daughter and Abel's mother. You have a stake in all this and you need to make that known. I will be behind you no matter what and eventually Jax will pull his head out of his ass and I hope you make him suffer. I know he's in hell right now but that just means he should be pulling you closer, finding comfort in your love not pushing you away. Just hang in there. Be an Old Lady and I promise you will always have a place in this family."

She got out of the chair and kissed my forehead. There were tears in her eyes and she caressed my face.

"You really are my sister and no matter what I'll be here for you. I love you." She started to walk away and I stopped her.

"I love you Tara, remember no matter what we're family." She nodded, tears in her eyes and left. I sat back and felt tears spill from my eyes. Damn it Jax, why'd you have to push her away?

"Want me to spend the night tonight, help you out?" Chantal asked as she finished her salad.

"Neeta is staying to help me out but if you want to as well I wouldn't mind the company." Chantal smiled but I couldn't bring myself to. Ever since I spoke with Tara my heart hurt and I felt sick.

"Good, mind if I invite Filthy Phil over? The guy's fun and makes me feel protected." What was that in her voice? Was that affection? Good, she was making friends other than me and Lyla. She needed that, to prove she was a friend to the club.

"He's my man's prospect so I'm sure I have some pull." Speaking of my man there was a knock on the door jamb and he walked in.

"Hey baby." He grinned then he nodded to Chantal, "Chantal."

"Milla's husband." She nodded before she stood up and kissed the top of my head. "I'll let you to have some alone time. I'll be back in time for your discharge."

She walked out the door and Juice came to the bed and crawled in with me while I stared in shock.

"Was she? Did you? Were you guys just civil to each other?" I asked and Juice chuckled.

"Yeah, we called a truce. No sniping while you're still healing. God I'm gonna miss you." He brought his mouth to mine and I sunk into the kiss. I loved this man with everything that I was and he was leaving me. Suddenly I felt tears in my eyes and he pulled away. "Don't cry baby, I'll be back."

I cried harder and he maneuvered me into a hug. I would have done anything to melt in his arms but that was impossible right now. I took several deep breaths and finally managed to calm myself down enough to talk.

"You'll be back for what, a day, an hour? Then you'll be going to prison and I'll only be able to see you for an hour once a fucking month. Don't tell me not to cry because I have every fucking right to cry. Not only are you leaving me, you might not come back." I started sobbing again and moved as far away from him as I could, making sure to look away from him.

"Baby, look at me." He took my face in his hands and made me look at him. "If I have to move heaven and hell to get back to you I will. Yeah I'm going in when we get back but I will do everything I can to keep you safe. Koz already promised to stay with you in the house, you'll be protected and I filled out spousal support paperwork, you and Espy will want for nothing while I'm in there. I know it's not as good as having me but you're so strong baby, you'll make do."

I cried and kissed him deepening it as much as I was able and brought my hand to his belt buckle, I just got it undone and was getting the zipper when he pulled away.

"Baby, sex is against the rules." I smiled and shook my head before I brought my hand to his fly again and unzipped it.

"No one said anything about giving my man a hand job." I kissed him again before I licked my hand and placed it in his boxers and started to stroke him. He was done in a few minutes and spent the time kissing me; I accepted his kiss burning the taste and feel of him into my mind.

"Goddamn baby, I almost forgot how good you are with your hands." It made me smile and he held me again, there was really nothing more to be done or said.

"Juice, we gotta go man." I looked up at Happy and had to resist the urge to glare, "Be safe Milla."

I nodded at him and Juice kissed me again, deeper and longer than he had before and I held in my tears. I didn't want him to go but Jax needed him so I had to let him go and it was killing me.

"I love you and remember I'll go through hell and tear down heaven if it means coming back to you. Be safe and I'll call you as soon as I can, keep the prepay with you. I love you so fucking much." He kissed me and tried to move away and I grabbed him. "Baby I love you but I gotta go."

"Come back to me, I love you, I need you." I pleaded with him and felt one tear escape. He simply kissed me and moved his hand from mine. As soon as he was out the door the dam burst and I sobbed.

I cried for what felt like hours and was in solitude. I didn't know what was going on but I was hurting. I had used up an entire box of Kleenex and pressed the call button to have them get me more. I just wanted to get out of here and sleep in my room with one of Juice's shirts. I still couldn't believe he was leaving me.

"Mrs. Ortiz?" I looked up from the pile of tissues that had collected on my lap and saw a woman that just screamed "agent". Oh great, what else could go wrong?

"What?" I didn't even pretend to be civil and the agent got out of the way and Stahl walked in. I shouldn't have asked, everything was going wrong.

"Hello Mrs. Ortiz, from what I hear you're doing well and it looks like CPS won't need to be called. Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way I need to ask you a few questions regarding your mother." I settled back in the bed, suddenly I felt light headed. "We need to know where your mother could have gone."

"Gone?" I asked in a small voice, it was getting hot in there and I couldn't seem to get quite enough air.

"Yes, Gemma was in the care of Dr. Tara Knowles and knocked the good doctor out before she stole her key cards and vanished. There was a report that she was seen escaping in the Teller-Morrow tow truck, unfortunately when the chase finally ended only Alexander "Tig" Trager was in the cab. Where do you think your mother escaped to?" I couldn't hear if she said anymore my chest was tight and I suddenly couldn't breathe. As the world turned dark I could finally hear over the blood rushing in my ears.

"Someone get a doctor in here!" Then there was nothing but silence.