I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and story lines are my own.

Chapter twelve

"They're here!" I shouted as I tried to roll myself out the door one handed. Damn Koz and damn Tig for actually going along with him. I was hurt and ill, not an invalid. I huffed but grinned when I felt someone come up behind me.

"Hands inside the ride sweetheart." Tig said before he pushed me out the door and I felt my heart stop in my chest when I saw the van.

I watched as everyone got out, overjoyed when I saw Mom and Abel. Ever since Phil and Koz had filled me in on everything last night I was more than desperate to see my family together and whole. I held my breath until a tattooed and Mohawked head poked out of the van. I got out of the damn wheelchair and broke into a fast clip as I went to my husband. To hell with the wheelchair

"Baby!" He shouted and hugged me as tightly as he was able before he crushed my mouth in a kiss which left me breathless. He pressed his forehead against mine and reached his hand up to brush away the tears I didn't know had escaped. "Its ok baby, we're home."

"Yeah we're home and I missed my little girl." Juice moved away and let my dad draw me into a hug before mom stepped over to us and brought Abel. I felt like it was Christmas morning and I'd gotten every present I ever wanted. My family was here and soon we'd be whole. As soon as Dad released me Juice pulled me into his arms again before he let his hand drift to my waist and held me to his side. Mom smiled and leaned down to kiss my cheek before she turned around and went with Dad and Chibs to the clubhouse. Once things were sorted out I'd get greetings from everyone. Right now I was relishing being in Juice's arms. We started walking and he stopped in front of the wheelchair.

"Why do you have a wheelchair baby?" He asked as he started massaging my hip.

"The doctors didn't want me walking much so Koz and Tig decided it would be best to put me in this contraption. It's not even motorized." I huffed and he laughed before he leaned down and nuzzled my hair.

"We'll get you a good one baby. Damn it's like I'm dreaming, having you in my arms again. I missed this." I turned and kissed him while he caressed my face

"I missed you so much I thought I was going insane. How am I going to survive the next, how many years?" I reached up and drew him into another kiss.

"Let's not think about that now. We just got home and I want to spend as much time as I can with you." I nodded and he kissed me again before I sat down in the chair. Juice got behind me and pushed me back in the clubhouse where he placed me at a table and with a light kiss went to join the guys in the Chapel. While I sat at the table Ma came over with Abel and sat down with me, but not before setting Abel on my lap.

"I missed you so much little man. You won't be going anywhere for a long time, except to Auntie Milla's where she'll spoil you and love you and you'll have a little cousin to play with." He gave that little baby gurgle and I fell in love with him all over again. I hoped he and Espy would be close as they got older. I turned to my Mom who had this look of devotion in her eyes as she looked at us. "He looks good, how's Jax, how are you?"

"Jax went through a crisis of faith while we were in Belfast, he said he called you?" I nodded and she continued, "It all worked out, if your heart ever gets sorted out we'll tell you the whole story but for now just know that we're back and everything is going to be ok."

"That's all well and good but how are you?" I leaned down and kissed the top of Abel's head while he played with my sling, the different textures of the cloth must have interested him.

"Healthwise I'm good baby, better than you right now. I'm just worried about that shit that's about to go down. Tara, Stahl, prison, your health. You think I haven't been worried sick about you darlin'? I'm just glad Juice kept me up to date." She reached over and patted my arm as I hugged Abel tighter.

"You had a lot on your mind. Besides I'm a club kid, I'm used to the club coming first and Jax is VP of that club." I had meant it to be comforting but from the look on my Mom's face it was anything but.

"This wasn't about the club baby, this was family and I wasn't here for you. That's inexcusable." I had to smile at that. I'd been put on the backburner all my life and now she feels guilty about it? Jesus, getting shot really does put you to the fore.

"I'm pretty used to it by now Ma, besides I have my own family to think about. Espy's getting bigger and stronger and pretty much ready to get out. Shit!" I had thought of something important that we needed.

"What is it sweetheart?" Mom asked as she took Abel from me and cuddled him.

"Espy doesn't have a nursery. I was so sure I'd have plenty of time, now there's two months to go and all I have is a bassinet." I hung my head, the baby wasn't even born and I was already a failure as a mother.

"That's what Prospects are for. I'll have them paint and decorate one of your guestrooms, get your little skank to do some shopping. It'll be ok darlin' you think I'd let my granddaughter go without?" It made me smile, there were some things I could always count on my mom for…shit I was about to lose her too. It must have shown on my face because she leaned over and kissed my cheek. "No matter where I am I'm always your mother. I love you and will fight for you. Now, hold your nephew again while I go talk to Miles, the boy took care of my bird and I need to make sure everything's OK. I really don't wanna put my boot up his ass."

I laughed and cuddled Abel while he moved his play from my sling to my fingers. I loved that little boy and having him home was a joy that nothing else could compare to. Now if we got Tara back life would be perfect.

"I missed you." Juice whispered as he held me on the couch before he moved in for another kiss. My lips were already getting chapped but I couldn't have cared less about it. The guys were running around, getting intel and trying to get things organized while Opie and the Prospects took Ma and Abel home. I had yet to talk to Jax but for now I was just content having Juice back.

"Missed you more." I said once the kiss broke before I rested my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence while I rested my head and he ran his fingertips over my stomach. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, things I wanted to do that they overwhelmed me so I just had to be content and sit with my man and enjoy it. Their bail hearing would be soon and there was no telling when we'd even be able to touch again. Fucking Federal prisons and their stupid rules.

"Yo, Juice. Koz and Bobby are back." Paco said as he walked to us. Juice leaned down and kissed me one more time before he got up and followed Paco out. Something was going down I knew it.

I sat on the couch while I waited for the guys to return, I knew the errand they were running had something to do with Salazar. I hoped against hope that they found Tara and that either Jax or Juice got to take him out. It bothered me that Juice had had a chance to take him out, full retaliation for the cut, but he opted for a beating. I knew Alvarez would have backed the retaliation, but Juice just wasn't a killer. I was shaken out of my thoughts by a persistent voice that was saying my name. I looked up and smiled at Chucky. He'd come to visit me a few times and was always good for a laugh and a compliment.

"Hey Milla, can I show you somethin'?" He gave me a smile and I was interested in what he had to offer. I started to nod before a voice interrupted.

"Sorry this little girl's getting some rest." Neeta's voice made me smile and I saw the one on Chucky's face drop.

"I know she needs to rest but this is important." Chucky didn't know he was fighting a battle he'd already lost.

"If it's really important it'll wait until after she's rested. Can you find a clean room, this child's just exhausted. Too much excitement." She came over to the couch and helped me up while Chucky went to Jax's apartment and opened the door. We followed and he smiled.

"Here, it's bigger, clean and I know Jax won't mind." Neeta and I both smiled at him as he opened the door for me. I made Neeta stop before I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Chucky, tell me what's so important after my nap." He nodded and gave me a smile before Neeta reached over and patted his shoulder. He'd definitely found a place in the SAMCRO family.

"When'd you get here Neeta?" I asked as she helped me get into a comfortable position on the bed.

"I've been talkin' to Chick outside for a little while. I wanted to be sure you weren't over exerting yourself, but it looks like you have. You better not've given your husband a special welcome." She raised her eyebrows and I shook my head.

"No Ma'am, nothing but kisses. Not for lack of trying on my part though." I huffed and she shook her head.

"Stubborn, greedy child. I know you want your man but you better put a hold on that. No sex, every doctor says so. You know how bad he'd feel if he gave you a heart attack? Promise me." She made sure I looked at her before she continued. "Promise me you won't go and do anything stupid. No seducing your husband, you've always been his weakness and capitalizing on other people's weaknesses is your favorite hobby. Do you promise?"

"I promise and I'm not six Neeta. I just really want my husband." I pouted and effectively blew my argument out of the water.

"Then you'll have to wait little bird. Now just lay back and rest a while, they'll let us know when everyone's back." I nodded and felt my eyes go heavy. Maybe I really was tired.

I wound up taking a brief nap and woke up with a start when I saw that I wasn't in my room. I glanced over and saw Neeta reading her bible with a look of concentration. I also realized that I really needed to pee

"Neeta, I need to use the bathroom. You mind if I go myself? Sense of independence and all that jazz." I gave her my brightest smile and she answered it with a stern look.

"Just down the hall, go slow and I'll be following you."She set down her book and watched me climb out of bed.

I walked down the hallway, I decided I'd go to the good bathroom by the main hall and was shocked when a pancake griddle went sailing by my head and hit John's Panhead. Once it landed I poked my head around the corner and saw my mom stalking off. Shit, something pissed her off and I had to investigate…after I used the bathroom.

Once I was done with the bathroom I walked out to find Juice leaning against the wall. The look on his face was haunted and I was suddenly worried. I scuffed my foot and he looked up. He crossed the distance and pulled me into his arms.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked as I hugged him back the best I could.

"I need to talk to you." I nodded and took his hand. As we passed Neeta she nodded and stayed outside as we went into the apartment. Juice walked me back to the bed and once I was settled he joined me and kept a bit of distance between us.

"What do you need to talk about?" I asked as I got more and more nervous. There was something disconcerting about the distance he'd put between us.

"Do you blame me for Donna baby? I gave Clay the information that set Opie up for a rat and Donna's dead because of it. Did I kill Donna?" He was upset but his questions made no sense. I scooted over to him and turned his face to me. He tried to look away but I held his face in a tighter grip.

"Listen to me baby, listen well. The person responsible, the person who set this all in motion is Stahl. That hatchet-faced bitch has tried to destroy our family from the second she came into our world. Yes, you found the information but the information was planted. I don't know where this came from baby but I would never blame you for this. I never have. You're the Intelligence Officer, that puts a lot of shit at your door but not this. You did not kill Donna baby." I stared into his eyes and saw some of the worry lift. "Where'd this come from?"

"I was talking to Gemma and she brought it up, there was so much accusation. If you felt...goddamn it if you blamed me I don't think I could handle it." He pressed his forehead against mine.

"Baby do you think I would have married you if I blamed you for that? Donna was my sister in every way but blood, I was destroyed when she was killed. Never once did I set the blame on you, you were broken by it too. All I felt was that we shared the pain." I moved my face until I pressed my lips against his before I ended the kiss and pressed my forehead against his. "I love you with everything I am baby. Never, ever doubt that."

"As long as you don't doubt that I love you too baby." He kissed me again and I felt tears moving down my cheeks. I would never doubt his love for me, we'd been through too damn much.

"They got Tara! She's on her way to the hospital." Koz said as he walked in. He was evidently chosen to be club messenger. The news brought a resounding whoop from those present at the clubhouse and my table in particular. I was sitting with Lyla, Chantal and Juice. Dad felt that his place was with me so he had to stay and he didn't look unhappy about it.

"You can see her tomorrow babe, I know what you're thinking." Juice gave me a smile before he got up and gave Koz a beer who, in return, gave him a well-meaning cuff to the head.

"Hey Wheels, where's the chair?" Koz asked as he walked over and kissed the top of my head.

"Folded behind the bar, my husband has been very helpful getting me around today." I grinned at Juice who took his seat next to me again.

"He better stay that way kiddo." He kissed my head again before her walked over to the bar and got a shot while I continued to grin. Tara was safe and Koz was here, the family was whole. If it was for a day, an hour, or forever it didn't matter because right now I didn't think I could be happier.

"I love it when you smile like that baby." I smiled wider as I leaned over to kiss my husband. Yeah my lips were chapped but I couldn't seem to stop kissing him and he never turned down a kiss. "After we have our meeting I'll take you home baby."

He nuzzled my neck and I found myself giggling. God I wished I could take care of him and take care of myself too. I didn't just miss him, I missed being with him. Fucking heart defect, without that things could have been arranged.

"Don't worry moron, I'll take her home. We know you missed your bike." Juice and I looked over at Chantal, She was offering what I was about to ask for. I wanted Juice to have his bike, I knew he missed his baby.

"You sure?" He asked and we both nodded. I knew he'd be sharing my bed that night and that's what mattered. "Ok, then you should head out now baby, the place is about to get a fuck ton louder."

"Ok, Papi. When you come home come to me, yeah?" I asked as I traced the collar of his cut and he grinned.

"Try to keep me away." He leaned down and kissed me again as I ran my fingers over his Mohawk, damn it I had missed everything about this man.

After the meeting Juice had come roaring into the driveway followed by Koz and had done as he'd promised he came into my new room and joined me while Koz stomped downstairs. From that Juice didn't even need to tell me that Tig had turned down the transfer. I'd have to beat the blue eyed bastard. Even so, it didn't matter. Even if Koz went Nomad he'd be able to call our house home. I knew he wouldn't go under the radar to get voted in but I could probably persuade him to be temporary SAMCRO and have it go to vote again whenever the guys got back. Koz was one of my favorite people in the world and I knew the feeling was mutual. I'd use that as my bargaining chip. I needed him and he wanted to be here, I probably wouldn't have to work too hard to get my point across.

Juice and I had been in bed for a while just kissing and holding each other before I decided to push the boundaries of my promise to Neeta. I wouldn't seduce my husband per se but I could see how far I could get. I may have been Juice's weakness but Neeta had misunderstood his self-control.

"No baby, not gonna happen." Juice said as he moved my hand away.

"If you don't want my hand there are other things…" I let it drift as I started to move toward his crotch but he gently placed his hand on my head and pushed me back up while I pouted.

"I want you more than anything in the world baby, but no. Just let me hold you." I couldn't say anything to that so I simply moved myself into his side and let him hold me. Things were sure to change in the days to come but for now I could just be with the man I loved and right now there was nowhere I'd rather be.

Author's note: This is almost the end of By Any Means and I must say this has been a hard one to write. Juice just wasn't around much for Season 3 (damn you Sutter!). I wanted to say that there will be some minor changes to things I've written in the past, mainly because I discovered I got names and spellings wrong along the way. You'll know when you see the changes. Anyway, the conversation Juice had with Gemma was a deleted scene from the episode "June Wedding" I have the SoA App on my IPod and there's an amazing selection of deleted scenes and backstories that I've decided to incorporate. Strangely enough most of the deleted scenes involve Juice. As much as I love Sutter he's doing my boy wrong, Juice needs more screen time damn it. Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, I love you guys.