BTW, if you were wondering - no, Jesse and Rachel didn't have sex. They just spent the night together. And had a freaking hot make-out session :D Just clarifying that.
Also - confession time. I'm the kind of person who thinks relationships should take time and usually in fanfics and TV I think things move way too fast. This is why Rachel and Jesse have taken so long to get together (or, kind of together), and to be honest, I still feel it's too soon. Especially if you just started reading this story and read it all in one night :D Anyway, I just thought that should be said, to make you understand or whatever.
A big thank you to all of you who reviewed - especially Cody - I'm sorry I kept you up so late, haha. Your review was incredibly awesome, I felt all touched and stuff. Good luck with you fic! ;)
Jesse had taken a drive to river and was sitting in the grass, listening to the sound of the rushing water and singing birds, and clearing his head. He needed to get away from his house, from all the cars and people in Lima. He needed peace and quiet so he could think. But thinking once again turned into remembering the night at Santana's.
"Are you okay?" Jesse asked as they were laying on Santana's couch. They had been just laying there for quite some time now, Jesse had his arms wrapped around Rachel and they were laying face to face in the darkness. Rachel had her hands on Jesse's chest and felt his heart beating as he moved his hand up and down her back softly. Right now they weren't thinking about who was laying next to them, they were enjoying the moment and not thinking of the consequences.
"I don't know," she replied quietly.
"What's wrong?"
Jesse felt her starting to cry.
"Did I do something?" he asked worriedly.
"No, it's not you. It's just... I don't know."
Damn drunk people for not being able to formulate thoughts.
"Tell me what's bothering you Rachel," he said softly as he stroked her hair gently, "It's okay."
There was a moment of silence as Rachel snuffled. Finally she spoke, "I'm scared."
"It's alright, I'm here," Jesse said as he pulled her closer.
"No, I'm scared about Daddy. I'm afraid he's gonna leave me."
"Oh, Rachel..." he was sure he felt his heart break as he heard Rachel open up to him. You would have never thought that's how Rachel felt. She always had this strong facade and a brave face on, she was chipper and the one encouraging others. Yet here she was, completely breaking down in front of him.
"I don't know if I could take losing him," she continued, "I'd feel so awful that I left them both to go to New York for a stupid career."
"No, no, don't say that. They know you didn't abandon them and that you love them. You're a star and Broadway is where you belong. And don't even think about your dad not making it. He's strong, just like you are. He'll make it, especially with you by his side keeping his faith strong."
"I'm not as strong as everyone thinks. I'm just a good actress."
Jesse took her head on his hand and rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb.
"Rachel, you're the strongest person I know. You don't let anything bring you down and you are who you are and you don't try to be something else. You believe in yourself and that's what makes you strong. And it's something no one can take away from you."
Rachel smiled, "You're not so bad yourself."
Jesse let out a small laugh as he felt Rachel's soft lips gently touching his before he felt her rest her head against his chest and fall asleep. He felt like he could have lied there for eternity and be blissfully happy.
Jesse threw the last stone in his hand in the water and stood up. The alcohol wasn't to blame for this, they were just using it as an excuse. It was time he confronted Rachel. Maybe he didn't need some extravagant, romantic confession, like leave her notes around the spots they usually hung out leading to a candle lit dinner somewhere where he professed his love. Maybe he just needed to give an honest confession from the heart. And it was too early to be thinking about love, but if everything goes well, that's what it would lead to. Though right now he felt something more than just a strong liking. Perhaps he was in love. This was more frustrating than he thought. All he knew was that he needed to see Rachel. He scratched all his previous plans and was just going to follow his heart.
"Hey, Hot Stuff," Puck puckered his lips and rose an eyebrow as Rachel came into Quinn's room.
"Hello, Noah, nice to see you again, too," she replied with a bit of annoyance in her voice.
"It would be kinda nice if you wouldn't hit on your pregnant girlfriend's best friend while she's in the room, Puck," Quinn stated.
"Come on, Babe, you know I only got eyes for you," he smirked.
"Actually, not so sure about that, but thanks for the big romantic gesture."
"Wow, you guys really aren't ready to be parents," Rachel said bluntly.
"If Puck could get his head out of his ass and act like an adult for 5 seconds we might be able to tell my parents without them wanting to kill us!"
"Oh, I'm sorry miss "I'm so mature I could be the president of England", I didn't realize I was being tested!"
"Just...wow," Rachel remarked as she stood there looking at Quinn and Puck going at each other.
"You know what? I don't need to put up with this!" Quinn threw her arms in the air and headed toward the door.
"Quinn! Wait! Come back here. Noah, there's this little thing called tact - you could use it. Now you both need to get over yourselves and support each other, otherwise this isn't going to work," Rachel said strongly.
Puck crossed his arms and sat on the bed as Quinn slowly walked back and sat next to him.
"Excellent. Now, let's go over what you're going to say."
"Actually, I think we should start with Jesse. That'll be a good warm-up for telling mom and dad."
"Good point, baby steps," Rachel said and once she realized the irony she gave a little chuckle.
One of Quinn's eyebrows rose indicating that wasn't funny.
"Sorry."
Rachel's phone buzzed and she quickly walked over to it and checked the screen. Speak of the devil...
Hi Rach. I know we've been avoiding each other for the past few days, but please meet me at the music store in an hour. You know the spot. I need to show you something.
Her heart suddenly started racing and she could practically feel it pounding in her chest. What the hell was wrong with her and why did Jesse do this to her? It wasn't even funny anymore. What did he need to show her? The newest edition of "Broadway Classics"? Because she pretty much already knew all of them. But she still felt giddy and didn't even bother trying to tell herself not to go, she knew she would.
"Is everything okay?" Quinn asked.
"Uh, yeah, it's fine. Daddy just asked me to pick some stuff up for dinner. It's chilli night."
"So what about Jesse?" Puck intervened.
"What about Jesse? What business would I have with Jesse? I told you it's chilli night, that's it," Rachel replied defensively.
"You're really weird," Quinn shook her head.
"I meant how do we break the news to Jesse without him turning my face into a punching bag?"
"Right. How about I get back to you on that? That chilli isn't going to make itself you know," she stated and made her way out.
"She really is weird," Puck said once she left the room.
Jesse sat at the piano in the music store, flipping through sheet music. Though he wasn't actually looking at any of the music, it was mostly just to try and distract him from going crazy thinking about what might happen in the next few minutes. Rachel hadn't replied to his text - what if she didn't even show up? Than Jesse would have been sitting here for the past half hour and stressing out for nothing. But maybe that would be a clear sign that she didn't want anything to do with him. He would simply have to live with the fact that he messed up with the most amazing girl he had ever met. Rachel Berry deserved to be happy, even if it wasn't with him. He heard the bell from the front door ding, indicating someone had entered the store. There were bookshelves in the way but he still looked in that direction. A few moments later the silhouette of a petite, brunette young lady appeared. Now it was Jesse's hearts turn to start racing, and he had to remind himself to breathe.
She spotted him and smiled sheepishly as she walked toward him. She was almost there and Jesse knew he had to say something.
"Hi."
But it didn't sound just like a regular hi. It was as if a sigh of relief. It was the hi someone gives someone they have longed to see for years. It was a two letter word that expressed so much more than just a greeting. It expressed everything Jesse wanted to say to Rachel, though she hadn't the slightest idea. This was the first time they had seen each other since that awkward morning where they had chosen to avoid each other as much as possible. Maybe it was for the best they had spent some time apart, it gave them time to think. Jesse had definitely figured out what he wanted, and hopefully Rachel had came to some kind of conclusion as well. The fact that she had even come could be considered a breakthrough.
"Hi."
Rachel's hi wasn't nearly as deep, but maybe that was Jesse looking too much into it.
"I'm glad you came," he smiled.
"What is it I came for anyway?"
"Why don't you sit down in that chair right there," he pointed at the chair about three feet from the piano, facing Jesse.
"Alright, this is very mysterious. I'm not being kidnapped again am I?"
"No," he laughed. He loved how even in the middle of this tension she still managed to crack a joke.
Rachel laughed and sat down. She was feeling a little unsettled but that was understandable, this situation was a bit odd.
"I've been thinking about what to say to you ever since Saturday. Then I realized I have to sing it, and I couldn't get this song out of my head because it's exactly how I feel. You might think you know it, but this version's a bit different, so listen carefully."
Rachel sat in silence and looked at Jesse, anxious to see what he had up his sleeve. Her stomach was fluttering so much she was feeling nauseous but she stood her ground. She looked around and didn't see anyone else, which was rather strange.
Jesse took a deep breath, licked his lips, took a quick glance at Rachel and started playing the piano and singing softly at first.
I think you're pretty
Without any makeup on
I think you're funny
When you tell the punchline wrong
I knew you got me
So you let your walls come down, down
He got more confident as he moved on to the second verse.
Before you met me
I was alright, but things
Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine
Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever
He looked Rachel straight in the eyes and didn't break the stare. He couldn't quite tell what she was thinking, aside from the fact she was completely caught off guard.
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
Rachel was the one to finally break off the look, and it seemed it was because she was tearing up and didn't want Jesse to see. Crying was a good sign. Right?
When you're around me,
Life's like a movie scene
I wasn't happy,
Until you became my queen
I finally found you,
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Jesse smiled as he sang from his heart. When he sang it felt like nothing else mattered but that moment in the song.
Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
Rachel had spent many years on Broadway, but never had she witnessed a more beautiful and honest performance, she just couldn't keep the tears in.
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
I'mma get your heart racing
If that's what you need,
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me,
If that's what you need,
In this teenage dream tonight, tonight, tonight
Tonight
Jesse finished his serenade and immediately got up and walked over to Rachel, who looked completely baffled, and knelt down so they were eye-level and took her hand in his, "Rachel, I feel like we have something more than friendship, I and know you do, too. We keep denying it, and procrastinating it, and masking it with humor, but it's there. And I'm tired of pretending it's not."
"Jesse..." Rachel spoke with a conflicted look on her face.
"I know it hasn't been that long since we've reconnected, but the time we have spent together has honestly been the best time of my life," he confessed, while looking a bit nervous, "I'm kind of trying to tell you something here," he said, still not being completely capable of coming and and saying it.
"Jesse, stop," she saw where this was going and tried to stop it, while avoiding eye contact, because she couldn't look him in the eye.
"No, I need to say this," he insisted, "Rachel, you're the only thing I ever think about and the only thing that makes me happy anymore is being with you."
She stood up and turned her back to him before he could continue.
Jesse stood up and waited for her to speak. But Rachel couldn't bring herself to say anything. She knew what she needed to say but the words just weren't coming out.
This was it. Jesse was pouring his heart out to her. For the first time ever, Jesse was the first one to be completely honest with a girl and tell her how he felt. He was suffocating inside and this was the only way he knew he'd be free. He had never felt this way before and was sick of this dance they were doing. The ball was in Rachel's park now - she would be the one determining the future of their relationship.
Rachel finally collected all the courage she had in her and turned around to face him, "That was very beautiful, but... I...We...We can't do this," she struggled to construct a sentence.
"Yes, we can," Jesse grabbed her arms and looked her in the eyes, "I thought we couldn't, but why not? What's so wrong about it? We've made up this bizarre issue that's keeping us apart and it doesn't hold ground."
"No, we can't. Quinn..."
"What does Quinn have to do with anything? She'll be fine, I'm sure she'll be happy for us."
Oh God, Rachel wished she could just tell Jesse about Quinn being pregnant. Once he finds out he'll understand why they can't be together right now.
"She already has a lot on her plate, she won't be able to handle this! And, and then there's my dad. Everyone really needs me right now and... I just can't do this," she shook her head and rambled as she tried to hold back tears, a few of which got loose and ran down her cheek.
Jesse let her go and his arms fell to his side. He tried to wrap his head around this, "What is Quinn dealing with?"
"I'm sorry, Jesse," she ignored his question before running out of the store, finally letting the tears flow down.
Jesse stood in the middle of the store, alone and rejected, a foreign feeling of heartbreak overcoming him. Jesse St. James had just gotten his heart broken.
I really tried not to use this song (and btw, I love putting songs in fics, but I hate having to write them in, as you can probably tell lol), because it's been done soo many times and it was also on the show. But I just got stuck on this and nothing else seemed to fit, as much as I tried to. I just love the Boyce Avenue version of the song so much. If you haven't heard it, go check it out, it's beautiful. You may have noticed I'm a bit obsessed with Boyce Avenue :D