Hey everybody!

So I thought I'd do this chapter because it was something different – I wanted write different kinds of love, not just romance, but family love too. Once again it's a little short, but I think it's enough.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my parents: yes, they annoy me so God damn much and sometimes I just want to stay at Uni. But every time I get there I always look forward to the weekend when I can go home. Because at the end of the day it's not the building, it's the people inside. They are there when I need to talk, they are there when I want to play Sopio cards (it's a great game, though my mum complained because she said there was too much maths in it) and make me laugh when I want to cry. I never want another set of parents, because they would never match up to the ones I have now.

As I'm writing this, ironically, my dad is pestering me to help him make dinner, so I have to go. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

xXx

Let me just get it out in the open: I love my parents, but I wish to God I didn't. Because they're dead.

Do you know how hard it is, losing your parents? You can't imagine it. Okay, I guess you could, but it's not the way it turns out. Every kid thinks about losing their parents, but you're still not prepared for it when it happens. Everything you've planned in your life changes. You're parents will not be there when you have your first kid, when you get married – and if you're really unlucky, they won't be around when you graduate for high school.

It hit me hard. I felt so sad all the time. Maybe I was depressed, I don't know. The drugs changed that: they made everything numb. Vicki introduced me to them.

I always have the worst luck with girls: Vicki, Anna. Hopefully Bonnie will be different, but sometimes I worry about it. I obviously have a bad track record with girls – what if the same happens with Bonnie? I pray that finally I'll catch a lucky break.

You don't understand how painful it is to remember. Sometimes I want to ask Damon (not Stefan, because Stefan would talk to Elena first, and she'd say no) to remove any memory of them. At least then I wouldn't wake up in the morning and have that excruciating ten second period when I think that they're still alive; when I think they're making breakfast in the morning. And then I remember, and it makes me want to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep.

Don't get me wrong: it wasn't all daises and sunshine. We had arguments: my parents always pestered me about working hard enough at school, because Elena was always an over achiever and made me look bad. My dad in particular wanted me to work hard, like getting a summer job; and my mother always took me clothes shopping, trying to get me to wear "nice shirts" – which would have made me look like a completely dork.

But they're – were – my parents. They are the people that you trust most in the world; who tell you that it's okay to cross the road and teach you how to ride a bike. And then later, taking you to school on your first day; they taught me how to cook, how to play basketball... If you take a look at what skills you have you'll realise that a lot of it came from your parents.

They were the people who understood me, y'know? We had inside jokes and shared stories that always seemed to come up at the most random of times. They knew me better than anyone else.

God, I miss them.

I remember when I found out that they had crashed. I couldn't even drive, so the sheriff had to take me. She didn't bother to make conversation, not that I would have responded. I was numb, staring through the window, going through every scenario in my head.

It was worse then, of course, because I thought that Elena could have been killed too. I could have lost my whole family. Now that I think about it, I was lucky. At least I still have my sister.

But I was told at the hospital that they didn't make it. They had died at the scene.

Why couldn't they have told me at home? Why did they have to bring me to the hospital? Did they want to see me lose it? Really?

I woke up in a hospital bed. Apparently I screamed, punched a hole through a wall, dislocated a nurse's shoulder and had to be injected with a sedative. I don't remember any of this.

How did I deal? Well, I turned to drugs, so you can pretty much guess how I felt. It got better, though I'm not really sure why. It was some time after Vicki was killed by Damon. I wonder if he threw something extra in for me. I don't know.

I wish I could still be angry at Damon and Stefan, for Vicki's sake. But I can't, because at the end of day they've protected Elena. They're protecting my sister from getting killed again, and I can't be mad at them for that.

It's better now, without them. Funnily the whole Vampire-Werewolf-Sacrifice thing makes it easy to forget the pain. But I have setbacks. Like when I walked past the picture of us all at Disney World and spent hours staring at it; or hearing Dad's favourite song on the radio, or when a woman next to me in a restaurant wearing Mom's perfume. All it takes is a second to feel that pain again.

Jenna's been great. And it's nice to have Alaric round too – he's been decent. Elena and I've been doing okay, at least now. We were a mess, but it's true that time heals.

I still miss them. So God damn much. But like I said, I've been lucky. At the end of the day, I've had great parents. We've spent snow days baking cookies and holidays and family dinners and (oh God) game night. My parents were always there to help me with my homework, they never got drunk at parents' evenings, they offered me advice when I needed. Many children have parents who don't get out of bed in the morning or leave them alone to go out drinking. Some children don't even have parents. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, even though many parents were taken away from me, at least they were there to begin with.

Even though it hurts because I love them, I'd rather that then hate them.