OH MY GOD GUYS! I JUST SAW THE LAST EPISODE OF VAMPIRE DIARIES!

!

Isabel dies? Katherine kidnapped? WTF?

It was SUCH a good episode! I LOVED it! Well, okay, there wasn't really enough Delena moments, but as long as there's more later I don't care. I can be patient, as long as the ends justifies the means.

So here's the next chapter! I suppose it's ironic that this chapter is about Katherine since – well, who knows if she'll stay alive? You knew this one was coming. As much as I want Delena to happen, I don't want Stefan to be unhappy (at least not forever). I can't see who Stefan would go with if not Katherine or Elena. I actually think he would be suited to Caroline, but she's got too many issues with Tyler and Matt, so I doubt that's gonna happen.

I would like to mention the next chapter – the final one! Naturally it's the Delena chapter you have all been waiting for – myself included! I've decided that I'm doing them both in one chapter, and it's not going to be in the first person – and the word count is almost twice as long as some chapters. I have to say, there's more action in this chapter. Not to give too much away, it centres around Damon compelling Elena in the "Rose" episode.

!

Anyway, once again I would like to thank everyone for the reviews! I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU ROCK!

I hope this chapter is to your satisfaction

(God I sound posh)

xXx

She's not Katherine. This is what I say to myself every day. I like to pretend that it's a good thing that she's not Katherine. But sometimes I can't pretend.

I hate the fact that Katherine's back. Now I have to see her every day and remind myself that while Elena and Katherine look exactly the same, they're completely different.

On paper Elena and I are perfect: she is sweet and dedicated, willing to help people whenever they need it. She will go the extra mile; she will laugh at my jokes even when they're not funny, she will listen to me when I need. She is the perfect girlfriend.

Katherine never pays attention to other people's problems, at least not really. She will never help out a person unless it benefits her. She's a tigress, always on the hunt. She will do anything to survive. She flirts with other guys (my brother is a perfect example of this). She can't resist making trouble for others. She needs to know everything about everybody. She can't stand to lose.

But for some reason I can't get her out of my head.

Katherine was my first love. She seemed so pure to me, back then. I had never been around girls very much, but even I knew Katherine was something special. She was so beautiful, with her curly hair. Before we began to sleep together I use to dream about coiling my fingers round the curls.

I lost my heart to Katherine and my virginity to her too. That was the best time. I remember lying in bed with her in the dark, whispering to each other. She told me about her family. A lot of it was lies: she didn't mention how she'd had a child and how her father had given that child away; she didn't tell me her real name or where she really lived; she didn't tell me they had been murdered by Klaus. But she did tell me that they were all dead, and she did tell me how much she missed them. I think it was the first – only? – honest conversation that we ever had.

But the problem was that Katherine didn't spend all her nights with me. She spent some with Damon too.

Katherine broke my heart too. I didn't realise how much until years later, after I was beginning to feel again. I had not only lost her, but my brother too, and my way of life. No longer did I have the simple life of living and taking a wife and having kids. There were some things I would never be able to do again. Thanks to Katherine.

That's when I began to hate her.

She destroyed my relationship with my brother. Every day Damon made a cruel comment, every day he made a problem of mine worse, every day he told me he hated me, I would be reminded of what Katherine had done to us. And that's what made me hate her more.

Yet... I dare not even say it to myself. I know what could happen if I was with Katherine again. I don't know how Damon would react. But I can't deny my heart...

I think I'm in love with her. Again.

Or is it again? Maybe I simply never stopped loving her. My relationship with Elena is a clear sign that I have problems.

I was drawn to Elena right from the start. Why? Because she looked like Katherine. That's it. If it had been someone else – Caroline or even Bonnie – I would have just rescued her and then walked away. But Elena was the spitting image of Katherine. It made me pause.

Of course that would make me curious. You could say I was even being responsible, making sure Elena wasn't Katherine. I stalked her, making sure that there was a heart beating in that chest of hers.

I had a relationship with Elena because I wanted that feeling back. I know it now, though I tried to deny it. I wanted that rush of exhilaration, that peaceful feeling, that feeling of flying. I wanted my first love back.

But Elena is not Katherine.

I never got that feeling with Elena. Never. I mean I feel something for Elena, otherwise I wouldn't stay with her. Before Katherine returned, I decided that this was what love felt like. This was what true love really was, not what I had with Katherine.

But then she came back.

Let me tell you a secret: when she walked through that door, when Damon and Elena were at the hospital with Caroline and John, I knew it was Katherine. I mean, c'mon, how obvious was it? When she walked, her hair flew behind her like power was emanating from her body; she had the sort of confidence that people who were only seventeen couldn't possibly possess. How could I not know it was Katherine?

I hugged her. For a second I just wanted to be back in 1864, where my father loved me and where I believed Katherine was the more honest, beautiful girl in the whole world, and where I believed I would always be best friends with my brother.

But I had to come back to reality.

I was angry with Katherine at first: for turning Caroline, for hurting Jenna. But most importantly, I was angry because she made Elena break up with me. I was so angry then, I just wanted her gone. I was prepared to stake her because of it – though admittedly, not as much as Damon was.

It was when she came back out of the tomb that things began to change. It was subtle at first, but I began to notice that she didn't look at me when I walked into a room anymore; she ignored me most of the time. She began talking to Damon more often instead.

Does she care about me? Does she still love me like she said she did?

It scared me. That's why I said I didn't want anything to do with her. I didn't want to get hurt again, and I didn't want it to destroy my relationship with my brother that was slowly rebuilding itself.

So why do I dream about her all the time? I can't believe she's putting those images in my head, thought part of me wishes she was. I wake up sweating and tell Elena it's nothing. I'm not sure she believes me, but unlike Katherine, she doesn't pry.

But Elena is not Katherine. That's the problem.