And so went the graceful confession of Simon; about as smooth as his confession to Clary had been, he noted as he looked back on it. The next month was spent hiding in his basement, avoiding the Lightwoods, and not answering his phone. Simon felt his metaphorical self tumbling down the damp grassy knoll, hurdling towards the mud puddle awaiting him. How he intended to keep up his charade, he had little to no idea. Fate, as it would have it, decided how to finish his antisocial streak; fate, and Clary's birthday party. For Simon to evade any other event might have passed as acceptable; but skipping Clary's party, for any reason, would be crossing the line. So it was that Simon emerged into the light of day, greeting the public world with a sigh. He knew exactly what to get Clary, as he always did and so his first destination of the day was the local EB Games. As usual, the store smelt like ham and Axe.
He quickly dashed to the PC section and picked up the latest Bethesda game. The whole ordeal only took about twenty minutes. As he passed through the city he glanced back over the golden towering buildings, and sighed. The smell of hotdogs and people drifted through the air, comforting the boy with its familiarity. For a moment it seemed like everything would be normal. Go back to being a simple world where he could be in love with Clary and hope that Jace would find someone else. A world where he could date multiple women, have a laugh with Shadowhunters, go to a Downworlder party and still call himself human. Inside, a part of him knew if he was hearing the situation from anyone else he might say something like "You know it's just your teenage hormones, right? The world doesn't end with you." But the world might as well end with Jace the vampire thought to himself.
"The party begins at 6 at the Institute. You better be there" was what Simon was told hastily over the phone by an eager sounding Clary. The phone had clicked off just as Simon was beginning to ask what he should bring. It was now five fifty five and Simon was standing in front of the church clutching a brown bag containing chocolate and Fall-Out Vegas. The boy sighed and looked down at his feet. "Tonight is about Clary, not you. Remember that Simon." He muttered to himself. It would take more will power than he thought he had to stick by the remark. Simon reached for the door handle, but just as his hand brushed the metal, it flew open. A blur of red hair rushed the vampire and he found himself in a tight embrace with Clary. "C-Clary!" Simon stuttered, as the girl released him from her grasp.
"Simon! Where on earth have you been? Why haven't you called us?" she cried, but Simon could hear the humour in her voice.
"Stop it, grandma. I have been using my valuable time productively playing Dead Rising and other activities that give a positive effect to all aspects of the physical being." Clary could no longer contain herself, and she burst out laughing. She pulled the boy in for another hug and tugged him inside the Institute.
The upstairs was dressed with streamers and balloons in all shapes and colours, and Simon had to stop himself with giggling at the childish nature of it all. "So? What do you think?" Clary motioned towards the decorations and did a twirl. She was wearing a brilliant green ball gown, and it twirled out like a garden when she spun. Simon smiled. "You look like a princess." This was obviously not the reaction Clary had expected, and she blushed fiercely. "Thanks." She mumbled.
The halls continued being decorated in bright colours, and while they walked down them Clary pestered Simon for details about the plot of video games she no longer had time to play. Simon began to hear the sounds of other people and music. Finally, Clary turned and led him into a tall room lit with green Will-o'-Wisps and IKEA vines. The walls were stacked with books. People and Downworlders bustled around, and Simon was reminded of Magnus's party. Only this one seemed far more peaceful. Simon looked up at the Will-o'-Wisps and leaned over to Clary.
"Aren't those kind of dangerous?" he muttered in hopes they could not hear him. "Yup, but Magnus used a Sanctuary spell." She said back, and seeing the delight in his smile folded her arms and cried "No! For the last time, this is not like DnD!"
"Liar. You just don't want to look like a nerd in front of your boyfriend." Simon couldn't stop his mouth, and the moment the words tumbled out he bit his tongue.
"Hey, that's right! What happened between you and Jace anyways? He never told me." Clary cocked her head sideways, like a puppy might when it wanted food.
"Uh, hey look! It's Alec! Let's go say hi to him." Simon pointed towards the frumpy looking boy, feeling his cheeks flush. Clary grabbed his arm and spun him around to face her.
"No, you tell me what's going on. You've had time to think, and I will not take 'no' for an answer." Her glare was steady now, and Simon knew it well from when they were little. It was the don't-you-dear-lie-to-me stare, and if he valued his life, he ought not to. "Clary… please, not today. Not on your birthday. Don't make me say it." Simon felt the tugging urge to run. "Simon— alright, but we're not done." Clary smiled, almost apologetically.
"Oh, and don't look now, but there's one of your exes at 12 o'clock." Clary made a nod to something behind him. It was Isabelle, in a long dark blue dress that fell around her ankles like a waterfall. She saw Clary staring and made to wave. However, upon seeing Simon, she did a dramatic twirl and stomped off to the food table.
"Well, at least she's not punching me." Simon shook his head and turned back to Clary.
"If you stay on this role, I might be the one hitting you." Clary smiled warmly, "Anyways, I won't keep you. Go talk to people. Hey, I think Raphael is here." Clary smirked at Simon, probably for the lack of ability to wink.
"I'm not sure I want to know what you're implying." Simon glared at Clary, grinning. Clary giggled and hugged him again.
"Okay, okay. Go patch things up with them. I believe in you." Clary turned and pranced off into the crowd. Simon sighed and gazed after her. Despite everything he was still so in love with her. The boy turned around to find himself blocked by a tall dark figure wearing a rainbow trench coat and a baby blue tank top. Simon looked up in surprise at the warlock.
"Hello again, little vampire. How are you doing this fine evening?" Magnus smiled at the boy. Simon could tell he had no interest in how he was doing.
"Oh, you know, the usual. What's up?" Simon tried his best to not let his nervousness seep into his voice, not to much avail.
"The general: slaving away under my boyfriend's rule. Hey, on that subject, having any teenage crises lately?" Magnus put his hand on his hip and made a face that genuinely said he only wanted to get this over with.
"W-why do you ask?" Simon was now petrified. It was one thing to tell a friend he trusted and knew from childhood (even if her boyfriend was the one involved) but to tell someone like Magnus, well, was just over the uncomfortable line. However, knowing Magnus, he already knew the problem and it was probably easier just to get his advice on the subject. He knew it, and yet he just couldn't put his faith in someone who had let him turn into a rat. Simon grimaced at the memory.
"Well, it's quite possible a certain sexy, young, poorly-dressed man is worried for your sanity. Or perhaps he's finally growing some sort of intuition. Oh, don't get me wrong. He has the best intuition in what counts." Magnus winked at Simon.
"Gah, okay. Enough information on that" Simon blushed and turned his head towards Magnus's pointed shoes "And no! I have no teenage crises, none whatsoever. Especially since I'm a vampire who has a ruddy magical mark permanently etched into my forehead." Simon spat out.
"Oh, now, now. We've already dealt with all that. Well, someone else, probably; someone who cares. Have you no other issues? I am a," Magnus paused, puzzling over some numbers "246 year old warlock. I have many an experience that I've dealt with." Magnus stared down at the pale boy. So not his age. Simon smirked internally.
"No! Just… if you could ask Alec to ask Isabelle to calm down a bit, that'd be lovely." Simon sighed. He couldn't bring himself to say it. Magnus stood in front of him, lingering on his words for a few moments, before he finally agreed and went back to his Shadowhunter. Simon watched between Downworlders as the warlock told Alec of the results. Alec seemed disappointed, but the crowd blocked his view of the two before he could see the conclusion.
It was another few minutes of lingering in the crowd before Simon finally found his way to the back of the room. There were tall round tables lining the area and Simon swiftly found one to fall onto. The music rocked through Simon's brain, stirring the stress about. The emotions took so much energy to deal with and he felt himself falling to sleep. The whole scenario was so intense it almost made him forget what he had been originally afraid of confronting. The vampire closed his eyes and rested his head in his arms, feeling the comforting touch of cotton over his tired eyelids. He felt himself drifting off into another world when a hand fell softly on his head.
"Clary?" Simon muttered and pulled his head up. A beautiful boy in an undone suit top stood before him, his golden curls falling perfectly around his head.
"No, Jace. Do I really look that much like a woman? I mean, I've gotten it before, but really-" The boy frowned down at the boy, but before he could finish his sentence Simon had shot up from his seat. Simon now clearly remembered his reason.
Simon opened his mouth to speak, make up an excuse, stick the blame on anything, but nothing came to his mind. Jace looked over the boy and sighed.
"Simon… can we talk this over? Preferably somewhere where I can hear you?" Jace said loudly over the blaring music. Simon would have loved to know how to turn into a bat at this moment. He nodded, and followed after the angel.
It took them a few minutes to get out of the room, and find their way into a part of the Institute that was both deserted and quiet. Eventually, Jace located a room that fit the criteria and he sat down in an old leathery chair. The room was fairly large and barren, with only two chairs and a large window. Simon closed the door softly and leaned on it, staring at the boy in the chair.
"So, where to start?" Jace muttered, gazing at his hands.
"I-" Simon began, and seeing Jace look up felt his heart have a seizure "I just… um… i-it started on the boat." It was an honest answer, and Simon felt like he was going to vomit. All his of body wanted him to pounce on the angel and snog his face off; all his instincts told him that Jace would probably punch his teeth out if he did. His emotions were calling out all sorts of things but the general consensus was he was a humiliated loser. Jace looked at him, and then swiftly shifted his gaze to the broad window.
"Simon— I'm with Clary. I love her, and I know you do too. I would never do anything to hurt her. You understand that, right?" Simon wasn't sure if he meant he didn't want to beat the vampire up for fear of upsetting her, or if he meant he was interested in the boy but would never date him because he didn't want to distress her. He highly doubted the latter could be true.
"I know. I would never have done that, I don't even know why— it just happened. I'm sorry." Simon closed his eyes, feeling the insides dampen. God, what happened to my manliness?
"No, don't be sorry. Just know nothing will come of it, and accept it." Jace stood up, and for a brief second Simon swore he saw regret in Jace's eyes. How do you think I could ever accept that? No, I won't accept it! No! Stop him Simon! Stop him! The voice was screaming in his head, battering his skull with harsh emotions.
"Yah." Simon whispered, as Jace walked past him into the hall. It was a few seconds before Simon realized he was alone. He sat down in one of the chairs, letting his head drop into his hands. He felt like he'd been hit by a train. "Fuck."