Sorry if this chapter goes a little fast. I`d love to make it longer, but i`m kinda busy and I have such great ideas for this story I`m afraid I might not end it if I start writing everything so detailed! lol
V
"Why did you hold back, Emma?" Dr. Begler wanted to know, "I`m not criticizing you, I´m just trying to understand what are you thinking…"
"I`m… I don`t know!" Emma started sobbing as she struggled to find the right words, "the thing is, my body goes crazy when he`s around… and I don`t know how to handle it. It scares me…". She remained silence for a while, twisting her hands nervously, looking for the courage to say out loud what she was thinking. "When he touches me… the earth moves under my foot; I feel a warm sensation… here" she placed a hand on her belly, "and I can feel my heart beating so fast and loud I`m afraid he´d listen it". Emma`s face was reddish, she was opening her soul for the first time; and even when she was embarrassed she kept going, "I don`t know how to handle that… I don`t know if that`s right. My body… is a strange think to me! I should know it by now, I should be able to control myself every time he`s around but I can`t. I should know myself by now."
"Do you think you can do that?"
"I want to", she confesses shyly, drying her eyes.
"Emma, do you remember what I told you the first time you came to see me?" Dr. Begler inquired, while she looked for something in her notebook. As Emma didn`t answer, she continued, "About what I specialize in?" Emma`s eyes widened, her lips formed an "O" and she blushed with intensity.
"I know this a sensitive area for you; but it`s the only topic we haven`t discuss. I`m really seeing progress with your ODC, Emma, and I believe your growing confidence is gonna be a great source where you can find the strength to explore this other side of you "
"What are you suggesting….?" She asked scared to death, "That I should sleep with Will….?"
"No, no! That wasn`t what I was implying!" Emma sighed in relief, "what I`m trying to say is I agree with you about you should know yourself". Emma looked at her for a while, not daring to ask her what she meant by that. As she didn`t answer, Dr. Begler continued, "You know, Emma, sexuality is another part of human life. Of human nature… let me ask you, what do you think woman do when they are single and they need to fulfill that need? "
"They find someone to… sleep with?" she replied shyly.
"Well that`s an option. But many other women don`t feel comfortable with the fact of sharing their bed with strangers."
"Like me" Emma confirmed her.
"Exactly… What do you think is the main ingredient to make a perfect sexual experience?"
"Being with someone you`re in love with…?" she answered, looking for approval.
"Yes. But there`s also a very important matter and that is to know what do you like, what do you feel. To know the things you`re comfortable with, to control your body to certain stimuli"
"Are you saying….?"
"Yes, exploring your own body will give you another perspective"
-xx-
Once in her condo, Emma tried to process Dr. Begler`s words. It was hard for her to follow her instructions especially because she was much retracted and cautious regarding to her sexuality. But the truth was, Will made something inside her move and shake uncontrollably every time he touched her.
But maybe it was going too fast for her to try that "exploring yourself" advice; so she decided she`d wait until her confidence was more solid.
Days passed very fast for Emma since then; she`d see Will only occasionally and she spent most of her lunches sitting alone outside, enjoying the sun and the almost-coming-summer breeze. Their rehearsals for Will`s performance went pretty good, their voices matched almost perfect together and they had a lot of chemistry; but luckily for her, those two practices they spend together were only laughter and fun.
"Em!" a voice called her name from the distance. It was Will; he was asking her to go with his hand, "It`s time!" she stood up quickly and packed the rest of her salad with trembling hands.
"Here I am!" she smiled at him. But still he noticed she was nervous for singing in front of the kids.
"C`mon, Em…" he guided her until the choir room and before entering whispered softly in her hear, "Don`t be nervous, ok? Besides, don`t forget I'm supposed to be the star…", he send her a grin before continuing teasing her, "I know you`re gonna shine any way, but try not to dull my talent".
Emma giggled like a teenager but messed with him for the last time before the kids could listen, "You`re in trouble, then…"
"Well, kids… here we are…as you asked me to… well, almost demanded me. I´ve prepared a song too. As you see, Mrs. Pillsbury is here… she`s gonna assist me with the duet you`ve imposed to me… Yes, Rachel?"
"I just wanna say, and I believe I speak for the entire group, we´re glad you`re here Mrs. P". Emma smiled at the group, feeling their warm welcome.
"Well, let`s do this" Will said smiling at Emma. The music start to play and they both sang together:
Everybody Say
oh oh oh oh
oh oh nananana oh oh oh
They stood far from each other while their voices were perfectly in sync.
(Emma)Driving in a fast car
trying to get somewhere
Don t Know Where i m going
But i Gotta Get There
(Will)A veces me siento perdido
inquieto, solo y confundido
entonces me ato a las estrellas
y al mundo entero le doy vueltas
(Both)Im singing for somebody like you
sorta like me, baby
(Will)Yo canto para alguien como tú
pon la oreja, nena
(Emma)Estoy buscando ese momento
la música que cuando llega
Me llena con su sentimiento
con su sentimiento, Vida llena
(Will)Walking down the sideway
looking for innocence
Trying to find my way
Trying to make some sense
(Emma)Yo canto para alguien como tú
solo como tú, baby
(Will)Im singing for somebody like you
You, what about you?
(Emma)I m singing for someone
someone like you
(Will)Tú, dime a quién le cantas
Cause there´s something about you there
(Emma)Speaks to my heart
Speaks to my soul
(Both)I´m singing for someone
Sorta like you
(Emma)Yo canto para alguien
(Will) Someone like you, someone like me
Sólo como tú, oh, my sister
Todo el mundo va buscando ese lugar
Looking for paradise
(Emma)Oh oh oh oh
Todo el mundo va buscando ese lugar
(Both)Looking for paradise
Without even realizing, they had walked straight to each other and as they took their hands they sang to each other, locking their eyes and pressing their bodies together. They were taken out of their embrace when the kids exploded in a massive cheer.
"You definitively sound awesome together" Tina congratulated them
"And look pretty comfy with your bodies glued like that" Puck sentenced. "Our turn!"
Emma blushed and went to sit next to Will as the kids performed their songs; but she couldn´t pay all the attention she wanted it as she was still feeling his body near hers.
They were sitting very close and without even noticing, Will placed his hand on hers and squeezed it gently and she sighed when she felt his touch, smiling discreetly.
"This was a great show kids… you all did excellent; good practice everybody!" Will said after all the kids had performed and as they left the choir room, he turned around to see Emma still sitting near the piano. "I asked you not to over-shine", she giggled as she stood up and walked to him.
"I didn`t! You were great, Will" they stayed there, looking at each other, knowing what just happened but not daring to say it. "When… hum, when are you going to Nationals?" she asked him, trying to break the tension.
"Next week… I can`t believe we`re so close"
"You´ll do great" she reassured him with a grin, "take it easy, Will, ok?" and without even thinking what she was doing she came close to him and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "I`ll see you later" and she left.
Will remain stuck there, not knowing how to take that kiss. The more he tried to give Emma her own space, the more she came closer to him. And the more he focussed on being friends with her, the more he wanted to be something else, something more.
-xx-
Emma, you`re making a big mistake; why can´t you give him a break? Why can`t you give yourself a break? What was that kiss for, hu?
She sank her head in the water, trying to cool herself. She had kissed him to calm him down, but she knew she also wanted to kiss him… and not only on his cheek.
Emma stop that. You have to focus on you, remember?
"Yes, it`s about me"
But then, why I'm getting so close to him?
-xx-
"Rachel you want everyone to losetheir voices?" Will asked Rachel with frustration
"No, Mr. Schue, but we need to keep rehearsing! What if we miss a note in the middle of the…"
"No, Rachel, we´re fine, you`re…"
"Fine it`s not enough!" She interrupted him, almost screaming
"Rachel, no..!" Will exclaimed fighting with the impulse of telling her to shut up and leave.
Suddenly, someone knocked at the door and Will was glad to see Emma standing at the entrance
"Is everything ok?" she asked with precaution, looking at Rachel and then at Will.
"No…" Rachel answered in a bad tone.
"Come here, Rachel" Emma invited her kindly; and when Rachel was close enough she told her, "I know you want to win Nationals; do you think he doesn`t want that too? Rachel, look at him" Rachel directed her eyes where Will was standing and stared the floor in embarrassment, "what do you see, besides irritation for what just happened?"
"A lot more", she replied softly.
"Go, Rachel, and get some rest, ok?"Emma rubbed her arm to cheer her up, and Rachel left. When they were alone, she saw Will sitting on the floor with his arms resting on his knees. "Will?" she approached him and looked at him with a light smile but he didn`t lift his head, "Will…? What`s going on?" she asked him, kneeling down by his side while she placed a hand on his back. Emma looked for his eyes, but he refused to lift his head, "what`s going on?", she asked him again.
"Just more than I can handle, Em", and when he spoke his words sounded distant, dead beat and almost unemotional. "I was this close to say something inappropriate to Rachel… this close. Seems Sue has been working her magic to screw things up"
"Will, you´re much better than that, much better than Sue. Keep it together for a little longer. You´re just 3 days from Nationals! From NY!" she told him with excitement. But you`re not gonna be there, he thought selfishly. Instead he gave her an exhausted smiled. "You didn`t rest didn`t you?" Emma reprimanded him, with a grin.
"No…" he confessed like if it was obvious; and then, "we`re going to NY!" he suddenly screamed, making Emma abruptly startle and Will laugh, "Ok, ok, you´re right… this is not gonna last forever". As he tried to stand up, he lost balance and reached for Emma´s arm to hold on. But he failed and felt on his back bringing Emma with him who landed right on top of him.
"Ooouch!" He whined loudly as he laughed.
"Oh my god, Will!" she joined his laughter, "You ok?"
"Yeah…" he replied slowly and his eyes locked to hers, just like that time when they were in that same position. The tension between them began to grow, but none seemed to want to break apart. "You?"
"Uhm..?"
"You ok, Em?" he asked her, not wanting her to get off him; he removed the hair from her face and his hand traveled to her shoulder.
Emma breathed heavily, like every time Will touched her, "Yeah, I'm ok… " she smiled at him and trying to get up, as she attempted to recover her breath.
"Thanks, Em" he said dusting his best off. She returned another smile and walked out of the room, feeling her body shivering and butterflies going insane in her stomach.
After that day, Emma decided Dr. Begler`s ideas wasn`t so wrong after all.