I do NOT own these characters…..And I'm sad about it but…..They are owned by the amazing Stephenie Meyer…and that's ok! J
"Mio Angelo" He whispered suddenly to me.
"Carlisle?" I said tears beginning to stream down my face.
That seemed to snap him out of whatever state of mind he was in as his eyes focused hard on mine. I removed my hand then, I saw the sudden pain that the action of doing so caused him and in that instant I knew I had to get away…I had to escape this place…..I could not take comfort in the arms of the man that I had stolen from. I could not continue to sit here and force him or his family to see my horrible face, and knowing they felt that they had to take care of me made it that much worse. I wanted nothing more then to curl myself tighter to him, clutch his ever strong chest closer to my face and cry my endless tears into it. I wanted to hold my best friend, Alice, and beg her to never let me go. That is part of why I knew I had to be the most selfish and horrible creature that had ever existed.
"Bella?" Jasper suddenly chimed in. " Bella I know what you're feeling and…you're wrong. Not one of us blames you….or you either Carlisle,… for what has happened tonight. We all knew it was dangerous…that there might be casualties….."
" Jasper please don't." I said. "I don't want you to try to make me feel better. I know that I'm a monster for this. That's why I have to leave….now before … before…" I stuttered as the tears started to sound in voice. " Before I hurt you all any more."
"Bella….You can't leave us. We…..the whole family, needs you. We aren't a complete family without you." Rosealie said.
I have to admit that this shocked me a little, however I would be damned if they were going to convince me that my presence was a comfort instead of a hinderance to them. I would make myself disappear from my world and theirs as well. I would never be able to make this right, but I would make it to where I could never hurt anyone…ever….again.
"Bella….please. You can't…" Alice said suddenly then was sidetracked by another thought.
"Carlisle? Jasper, Em, Rose you all have to go hide…NOW! Charlies coming." Alice shouted.
"Charlies Coming?" I asked.
"Yes Bella, he's the chief of police and as such he was called out to the scene of the accident." Alice said. Seeing my confusion she continued. " Bella we had to stage an accident for…..both of them… I have made up a story to go along..but please Bella you must go along with it….I know it will be very very hard..but you must try."
I nodded as she continued with the story and the details behind it. She informed me of how to play my part in it. It wouldn't be hard as I knew my heart was already broken. I saw then the others racing to take there places, hidden in the house, but Carlisle stayed right where he was.
I looked hard into his eyes for a moment and realized that he was determined to not move, I knew he was afraid to let me go. I had no idea why, he should hate me thoroughly. I knew I shouldn't but I felt that I truly didn't want him to leave. With that I pulled myself upright and pushed his arms down and away, all the while our eyes never left each others. God…how was it possible that his eyes seemed more troubled, by my action of forceing him to release me, then they had before.
"Carlisle….You must hide." I told him.
"I can't Bella…..I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want you to leave me…my side…my home….I don't want you to blame yourself for this." He said with an intensity that made the fire burn deep in his eyes.
"Carlisle you know this is how it has to work out. It's okay, I'll watch Bella, she'll be safe with me." Alice said reassuringly.
With that Carlisle released my gaze and looked intently and hard at Alice. He nodded and stood up, taking his time, he walked up the stairs and away into one of the rooms. Which one I didn't know for sure, but either way I felt cold and alone now. Strange thing seeing as how I knew from my many nights wrapped in Edwards arms that I shouldn't feel cold only after I left a vampires embrace. It was as if I had been warm in his arms. Without him it was almost as if I had not felt the cold of an ice storm that I was standing in. Suddenly Alice pulled my arm and told me I only had two minutes to get prepared.
I took my place in front of the T.V. on the comfy sofa in the den. Alice, keeping up with appearances dashed to the kitchen to pop some popcorn, as we were supposed to be having a movie night. I was supposed to look weak, not a problem, tired and sickly, also not a problem. Alice returned with a dvd and the bowl of steaming popcorn, she quickly fast forwarded through the previews and the first half hour of the film, which one she picked I had no idea nor did I care, when a knock sounded on the door…
"Who is it?" Alice chimed out as she took a deep, unnecessary, breath and bounded over to the door to answer it.
"Evening Alice dear." I heard my father's say.
I couldn't help it, the tears started to stream down my face.
" Oh, hey Charlie. Or should I call you officer when you're on duty?" Alice said attempting to sound like her normal bubbly self so as to not raise suspection. "Come on in. What do we owe this late night visit to?"
" You can always call my Charlie , Alice dear." My dad said sounding horribly sad. "My ….visit…isn't a social one though I'm afraid. Where's Bella?"
"She's in the den, Charlie. She's not feeling well tonight, I think she may have eaten something that didn't agree with her. I tried to get her to go to the hospital, but you know Bella." Alice rambled on.
"Oh, okay." Charlie sounded relieved. "Well ,Alice, I felt it my personal duty to be the one to make this call." He sighed heavily. "Tonight at 8:34 pm we were called out to the scene of an accident involving a single car that had struck a tree off the side of hwy 101, when I arrived the ambulance was already there but…Alice…it was too late. I'm sorry. But Alice….it…the car…contained the remains of…Oh Alice I'm soooooo sorry. Esme and Edward where pronounced dead at the scene."
"Dad?" I said as I made my way into the foyer. "Dad? Did you just say?"
"Oh, Bella." He said as he held the sobbing and shaking Alice.
That's when I fell back into the blackness again.
I found myself being cradled tightly in the arms of someone calling my name over and over. It didn't feel right though. Too warm I kept thinking, these arms are too warm, I roused realizing that it was my dad holding me, as I had apparently passed out and landed on the floor.
"Bella?….Bella?….Bella, oh thank god." Charlie sighed.
"Dad, how could this be?" I said whimpering.
" Oh honey I'm so sorry. I know I had my reservations of him but I know you loved him and no one deserves this. I know he loved you too. Alice told me what happened and that she had called them to come back and help her with you, they apparently were very worried because they were speeding and lost control of the car….and they…then….oh Bella I'm so sorry you have to go through this." Charlie said sobbing.
Just then Alice came back into the room, her face covered with the false tears from a bottle that I knew represented the actual tears she would be shedding if she had that possibility. In that instant I knew what I would have to do, my plan was now set in that one simple second, just to execute it without interference.
"I've called them." Alice said simply. "I called them all and there getting everything packed up right now. They will be here by morning."
"Okay Alice hun, I'm going to stay here until they get back though if that is okay. I don't want to leave you girls alone that long." Charlie said.
Here's my chance….
"Dad?" I said. " I don't think I can stay here any longer…..can we go home?"
Alice shot me an evil look. I ignored it completely.
"Bella? Are you sure that is what you want to do?" Charlie asked looking shocked. "What about Alice? I mean she can come back to the house with us if she wants, but I figured you'd want to stay here, and wait for the others."
"No, dad I just really want to go home and….. I'm sorry but I want to go home with just you…I'm sorry Alice ,I truly am, but I'm not up for company." I said.
Alice looked truly pissed at this point, it was if she knew my plans. But I knew that she didn't as I hadn't set the finer details in stone, and kept changing up the little things, it was the perfect thing to keep her off my track.
"Um….okay kiddo, but I really think Alice shouldn't be left alone tonight." Charlie said looking at her.
"You're right dad." I said " I think you should stay here with her, I'll get home okay and just head straight to bed. She really needs you, I'll be okay, I'll just call and talk to mom til I fall asleep." I said getting these imaginary daggers from Alice's stare.
"Ummm…uhh are you sure Bells?"
"Yes, dad stay and come home as soon as they return. I'll come and talk to them tomorrow I promise. I'll come back by and help them with the….the arrangements….and try to help them with…" I said but got suddenly cut off by the distinct sound of growling from somewhere upstairs.
I notice my dad look up at the noise ,raising slowly as if he is was going to go inspect the noise, when I suddenly shocked him by saying my goodbyes to him and Alice. I practically ran for the front door. I realized that I was being followed though and turned to see my father behind me.
"Dad? What are you doing? You're supposed to be staying with Alice." I said.
"I know, I know kiddo but…..I just wanted to walk you out to the truck and talk for a second if that's ok."
"Okay dad. What is it?" I said heading for my truck.
"Bells….you seem to be taking this way better then I thought you would…are you sure your ok? I mean your not…..uhhhh…shutting down on me again are you? I mean you're not going to go home and do anything rash? If you want I could call the Black's to come over and sit with you."
"No, dad I'm okay really. Yeah ok I'm not fully okay but I'm not shutting down on you. I'm actually really worried about Alice. She really needs you dad please….go in there….oh and dad," I said as he was turning. " I love you daddy, you're the best daddy I could have ever asked for, just remember that ok?" I said holding in the tears that threatened to reveal my intentions.
He turned then and looked at me hard, I knew I had screwed up by calling him "daddy" as I haven't called him that since I was six. But I had to do it. I smiled at him to try to ensure him and turned and got into my truck. I turned my key and as the engine roared to life I looked once more at the house that was once a home but would never be again…..because of me..and said my final goodbyes.
Once I got home I broke down. I cryed in the cab of my truck for what seemed like an eternity, but I was able to pull myself together enough to make it in the front door. I didn't even bother to turn on any lights and made my way up the stairs. I stopped at my door and rested my forehead on it, remembering the last time I was in here I was with…..Edward….my personal miracle, my love, my soul. I turned the knob slowly hoping, stupidly, that by some miracle I would find him in the rocking chair in the corner. Of course he wasn't here…he…..was….dead. I entered my room and realized that it felt empty and held no meaning for me now, I turned on my computer and as I waited for it come to life I went to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom I felt lost as to the reason I had gone there but as I stared in the mirror I had an idea.
I opened the medicine cabinet slowly and found my object, a razor, and looked at it hard. As I closed the cabinet and was again faced with the mirror I found myself smiling in reflection. I grasped the razor tightly and with a hard thwack to the sink rim the plastic guard along the bottom of it snapped off, leaveing the sharp blades exposed.
I went back to my room and sat down in front my computer. Staring at it for a moment I opened my internet and went straight to my e-mail, I clicked on it and began to write my message…my final message…..after completing it I added all the names and addresses of the ones I wanted to send it to and clicked send. I knew it was foolish and stupid but I found myself unable to resist and I also sent it to Edward.
I turned my computer off then and turned towards my bed, funny I hadn't even made it since the last time I slept in it, I was glad that I hadn't as I found that Edwards perfect shape was still there formed in the crumpled sheets and comforter. The pillow he always rested on still held the shape of his perfect head. Climbing into my bed I made sure not to disturb the now empty shape left by him. I grabbed his pillow and pulled to my face…Oh god it still smelled like him….. I inhaled deeply and pulled it away to look at it. I noticed my tears leaving small drops of grey on it. I sighed and laid down and tucked the pillow under my face, and finally deciding what I was going to do, I inhaled once more before bringing the damaged but perfect for my use razor to my throat. You see I figured that since vampires die from their heads being detached that if I were slit my throat then no one nor anything that could save me. If I were to slit my wrists then I knew that their venom could bring me back. So this was perfect.
I inhaled the delicious scent of him once more and with a deep breath I pulled the sharp and extremely painful instrument across my throat. I laid my head back down on my pillow and closed my eyes. I whispered my final goodbye to him then. It hurt badly but I didn't care…..then I heard him…..he was calling to me….. "Heaven" I thought…..
Carlisle's POV
Pulling myself out of my revere I realized that it was not the voice and hands of god, it wasn't the heavens calling out to me by name, it was the angel I held in my arms. As I looked at her I couldn't help but to call her by what she truly seemed to be…
"Mio Angelo" I whispered to her. "My angel" in Italian.
She removed her hand then and I realized she was crying again. That snapped me out of it completely then. I just couldn't tear my eyes away from hers as I heard Jasper say her name and mine. I just stayed still, my eyes locked intently on hers. I swear that if I hadn't know my heart was lying dead, cold and still in my chest that it would have been beating at a horses pace. Her eyes….they were melting me…. I can't believe the intensity of them…. I felt like I was actually warming up on the inside…..almost like the intense heat of venom when I was first bitten…..what was this feeling? Before I even had the opportunity to entertain this question I heard Alice shouting….
"Carlisle? Jasper, Em, Rose you all have to go hide…NOW! Charlies coming." Alice shouted.
"Charlies Coming?" Bella asked.
Alice then started to give her the details of the story that they had come up with. She told Bella how to play out her role. I could not stop staring at her waiting for her to break down. I knew that Alice expected me to go hide upstairs but I was firm on the fact that I needed to stay right where I was. Bella needed me…and…..I needed her.
"Carlisle….You must hide." Bella told me.
"I can't Bella…..I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want you to leave me…my side…my home….I don't want you to blame yourself for this." Every word the truth and yet it didn't seem complete.
"Carlisle you know this is how it has to work out. It's okay, I'll watch Bella, she'll be safe with me." Alice said reassuringly.
I glared at my pixie like daughter Alice then, attempting to show her the impossibility of that. I knew she could keep Bella safe enough. I just couldn't let her go, I felt that if I did I would never again see her eyes, see her take a breath, that she would be lost forever. Feeling her pull herself out my grasp, I stared back down at her, I didn't like it, not at all, but I let her do it. It damn near killed me but if she wanted to be away from me I understood, I had been the reason for her heart to be broken, I was the reason her love….my son…was gone.
I nodded then and stood up, I felt as if I was moving in slow motion as I headed up the stairs to hide in the closet, once inside I realized I was in Esme's closet. God her scent was heavy in here...and god how it hurt. The pain was almost unbearable, but I felt that the pain from being away from Bella hurt even worse, and that alone made me break down even further. How could I possibly feel that? Now? What did it mean? I then took down one of Esme's favorite blouses, I inhaled it deeply, remembering the last time I had seen her wear it. The sadness was maddening , the saddness of knowing that I would never again see her smile, see her eyes light up every time I entered the room, the way she used to give me a peck on the cheek every morning before handing me my bag and wishing me a good day, also I found that I was suffering from the madness of missing Bella, her warmth in my arms. Oh god what was I going to do?
It was then that I heard the distant knock on the door… I knew it was Charlie. I prepared myself for the news that I already knew…not that it made it any easier …but as I listened to the retelling of the scene of the "accident" that my son and my wife had, I couldn't stop myself from straining to hear Bella's heart. It was beating so shallow now, slower then normal, I knew it was because it was broken. It was then that I heard her heart falter and it was followed quickly by a thud. I jumped up and almost tore the door down to race downstairs and get Bella as I knew that sic kingly horrible thud was her passing out…again. But I quickly refrained myself. I knew Charlie would take care of her in that instant. God Carlisle , I thought to myself, you got to keep yourself under control.
I backed back into the closet and as I picked Esme's blouse again I heard Bella telling Charlie that she wanted to go home…alone.
No…..No….NO…she can't be alone. Damnit what the hell is she thinking. No Charlie don't let her go home alone. Then I heard Charlie…the total fool….. Say that it was ok and that he would stay here with Alice. It was then that I realized that I was growling…loudly. There was no way in hell I was going to let her be alone…..I had to protect her…had to keep her safe….even from herself as I knew she blamed herself for this whole thing.
I knew then that Charlie's senses were heightened as he approached the stairs, after hearing my growl, but he was stopped short by Bella. I can't believe that she had this kind of control over Charlie, it was either that or he was such a damned fool that he didn't know that there is no worse time to leave her alone.
I heard the heart breakingly, deafening sound of her truck coming to life. I listened carefully as her truck went down the long winding drive and hit the pavement. I didn't know how or when but I knew I would go to her house tonight and keep her safe. I stood in my full yet empty feeling closet deep in thought. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get out of the house without making too much noise, with Charlie's senses heightened , unfortunately not heightened enough, but heightened enough that any noise from me would set him off.
I stood for what seemed like an eternity trying to figure out exactly what I was going to do when I heard Alice tell Charlie to excuse her as she needed to use the restroom. Knowing she was coming upstairs to talk to one of us I listened hard as I heard her approach my door. She whispered quickly that it was Bella….She has had a vision about Bella…..
"Carlisle?….Do you hear me Carlisle?" Alice whispered. "It's Bella, Carlisle…she's ….gone ….She's done it Carlisle…. I saw her do it." She whimpered sounding as if her heart had fully broken now.
"No!" I all but growled back. "It can't be Alice."
"But it is Carlisle…I just saw her do it…..and…..Carlisle we have to do something….I cant go because of Charlie…and there's a lot of blood…"
That set my teeth on edge.
"How long do I have Alice?" I growled at her.
"Oh god Carlisle…..I think…..that it might…be….too…la….."
"NO!"
And with that I was running. I thrust myself out the back window, and grabbed the tree that was directly beside the window that our bed faced. I knew I had made a lot of noise in the process but at this time I truly didn't care. I had to get to her. I had to save her. God what would I do if I was in fact too….NO! I couldn't think like that…I had to make it in time….I would make it…but Alice had said there was a lot of blood….god Bella what did you do?
How could she do this to me…to us…to her father and mother. She had to know that Edward would never have approved of this. He would never had wanted her to do this. He wanted her to live…..to be happy..and now she was dieing if not already…DAMNIT Carlisle stop thinking like that…..just …..RUN!
I ran as fast as I could and made it about a mile from her house when the scent overwhelmed me for a moment, I stopped dead still, but then took off again faster then I ever thought possible of myself. Good god Bella…what did you do? There is one hell of a lot of blood for it to hit me this strongly. Oh god was I too late?
As soon as I got to the house I crashed through the front door not careing if I made a lot of noise. The scent of her blood was indeed strong and overwhelming and I instantly understood Edward's pull towards her…she truly was a siren…..but none of that mattered anymore. I ran up the stairs and straight to her door breaking it down instantly as well…there on the bed…there she lied…..completely surrounded by blood….she was hugging a pillow tightly in her arms…I reached out and touched her arm…she was cold…..more then cold she was freezing… she felt sorta stiff as well. Oh god Bella…why?…..why did you leave me?
I picked her up then , cradling her in my arms, as I felt the tearless sobs rumble through my chest. I looked down at her then and saw what she had done….oh god how could anyone stand the pain that must have accompanied that type of wound? But to be truthful with myself she had been through much more pain this night then that. I reached my hand out to touch her angelic face one more time….
"Mio Angelo" I whispered to her as I touched her beautiful yet broken face. " My angel Bella."
Just then I saw her wince….she blinked and rolled her eyes over to gaze at me….
"Bella?….Oh my god Bella?….Bella listen to me…stay with me please…Oh god Bella." I yelled.
"Heaven." she whimpered and smiled.
She closed her eyes again then and I felt her go completely limp then in my arms….oh god I had to save her..but how? The cut was too deep for stitches that much I knew…..but I had to save her. It appears that she hit the vital carotid artery.. But she didn't sever it…and she has lost a lot of blood. She'd never make it to the hospital…..my venom…that was the only thing that could repair this now. But she hasn't got enough blood or life left in her to spread the venom..and I wouldn't change her unless she wanted me to.
With that I licked my hand and pressed it firmly to her neck, praying that this would do it…. I held my hand in place as I dashed back downstairs and out the front door….I had to get her to a safe place and I had to get some blood in her…if this works I could go get some from my house…I always kept blood on hand in case of emergencies …
"Damnit Bella you…will..live!" I screamed down at her.
And with that I ran into the woods. I was going to save her…I had promised Edward..I had promised her…..and I just couldn't lose her…because…because…oh god I just couldn't lose her…..but was I too late?
Ohhhh the cliffy….or maybe not…..does she die? Was Carlisle too late?
More to come soon I promise!
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