A/N: Believe it or not, the rape isn't even what sends Logan over the edge. Hope you enjoy the chapter, let me know what you think.

Chapter 3

"Now what seems to be the problem, Mr. Mitchell?" Dr. Stevens asked in a soft and somewhat caring voice.

I looked down for a second debating on how exactly to answer that question. "Well…I'm bleeding out of my anus." I said softly, using the terms I knew that any doctor would approve of.

"Oh, well I'm gonna have to ask a few question then." He pulled out his chart. "Have you had any penetration rectally in the last twenty four hours?"

I wished that I would just die. It would be a lot less painful and a hell of a lot less embarrassing then this. "Yes. My boyfriend and I had intercourse last night." I couldn't meet the doctor's eyes.

"Okay, and did you do it properly, and when I say properly I mean did you use lubrication?" He was staring at me. I could feel it, I knew that he was judging me. That's what they do...they judge without understanding.

"No, we didn't have any." I said quietly. When I said that he told me that he needed to do a rectal examination.

After the examination, he wrote something on his clip board. "Well Mr. Mitchell, I found the problem. You have several tears on the inside and out. I think you are definitely going to need stitches. So I am going to have you prepped and then I will be back in here shortly."

I felt my face go red. I knew that he was disgusted. I could tell just by the look on his face and the sound of his voice. An anesthesiologist came in and gave me some medicine so I wouldn't feel it when I got stitched. After Dr. Steven's had given me four stitches inside and six outside and out he sat across from me.

"Here are you discharge papers, Mr. Mitchell. Now, no intercourse until the stitches dissolve and that will take about ten days. And when you have intercourse, make sure you use lube. Not that you have had tears, you are more prone to them." I could feel how awkward he felt when saying it. I knew he had to feel embarrassed because I know I sure was. "Oh, and you are going to be on bed rest for three days and make sure you ice down the area it will help with the pain."

"Is that all you are going to recommend for the pain?" I asked. I knew that ice wasn't going to help this pain, I was really hoping for something a little stronger.

"No, I have twenty vikodin here, take one as needed every six hours. Make sure you aren't taking them after three days, one after the other. You need to be able to feel the pain this way you don't over do it." He handed them to me and then walked out of the room

Kendall didn't come home that night. He didn't call either, Mrs. Knight was bringing me treats and all other kinds of things, the next morning. "What's going on with you and Kendall?" She finally asked.

"Nothing, we fight but we still love each other." I said.

"You mean he yells at you?" She corrected him. Was it really that bad that even she was on my side?

"You don't hear both sides, I don't yell. But I say some pretty nasty things to him sometimes." I said defending Kendall. I knew that it was a lie, but she bought it and dropped the subject.

Kendall didn't come back home until well after noon. I was laying in bed reading Grapes of Wrath when he walked in. "Hey Logie Bear." He laid next to me, but I tried my best to ignore him. "Logie, you aren't mad at me are you?"

I stared at my book, not really reading anything on the page I had opened. I sighed, "Kendall, just please…"

"Talk to me." Was all he said.

"Where were you? You didn't come home. You didn't even seem worried that I had to go to the emergency room. I don't see what could be more important then me." I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't look at him. I had held it together this long and I wasn't going to cry again.

"I stayed with Jo, but Logan nothing happened. I just couldn't face you."

I couldn't keep it in any longer. I finally just started sobbing. "So Jo, your ex girlfriend was more important than me?"

"Nothing happened." He said, avoiding the question. But then I saw it…a hickey on his neck. I felt the tears falling even faster.

"I had to get ten stitches. You tore the skin. I was bleeding very badly, Kendall. You made me face the doctors alone. And while I was in the hospital, you were cheating on me with Jo."

"Logie, I wouldn't cheat-" I touched his neck before he finished. "What?"

"You have a hickey." I said.

"It didn't mean anything. You don't ever want fucking sex anymore. What am I suppose to do?"

"Not cheat on me, your suppose to respect it. Not force it and then me end up hurt like this." I said quietly.

"So what's your point?" He finally snapped. I knew that he didn't want to talk about this anymore.

"My point is that you haven't changed. You told me you wanted to change and that you loved me…but you hurt me so much that I can't believe that anymore Kendall."

"No Logie…please. I can't live without you. If I lose you, I don't know what I will do." He said his voice unusually shaky.

"You should have thought about that before you slept with Jo." I said trying to stay strong.

Kendall didn't say anything for a few moments. He stood up and then walked out of the room. I slammed my head against the headboard. You did the right thing. This is whats best for you. You can't be with someone who hurts you. But then I heard Kendall's voice in my head, you need me Logan. You know that you can't live without me.

I sighed. I felt my phone vibrate it was a text. Goodbye Logan. Don't worry about me. I'm taking some pills and going to sleep forever. Just know that I will always love you.

No. I couldn't lose Kendall in that way. I picked up my phone and called him. -Hello?-

"Kendall, please don't kill yourself."

-Why the hell do you care? Don't you get it Logan? I can't live without you.-

I was silent for a few seconds. I didn't know what to say, I didn't want him to kill himself. I had to take him back so he wouldn't. "Okay, come back here. We can work through this." I said softly.

Kendall hung up his phone. But it only took him five minutes to be back by my side. He sat next to me and as soon as he was there, I wrapped my arms around him and refused to let go. "Oh Kendall, I'm so sorry that I overreacted. I just don't want you to hurt yourself." I said.

Kendall hugged me. "I'm sorry too Logan. You know I love you though."

"I know." I said simply.

After twelve days my stitches had finally fully dissolved and I no longer had any pain. No one but Kendall and Mrs. Knight knew about what had happened, I was too embarrassed to tell anyone else. I was sitting in the room working on the Trig homework I had been given that day. Kendall was out with Guitar Guy and had said he wouldn't be back until around midnight.

I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I said.

James and Carlos walked in. "Hey, we're gonna hit the ice, wanna join us?" James asked in a friendly tone.

"Yeah, they have hockey Wednesday's and they actually play real games!" Carlos was practically jumping with joy.

I smiled. I knew that the rink would help me take my mind off of all the shit going on with Kendall. I stood up and grabbed my stick, skates and bag of hockey equipment. "Lets go." I said with a smile.

"So you and Kendall haven't argued in a while." James said. "I think that is a new record."

Carlos laughed and I did too. I didn't want them to know how bad our problems really were. And I knew that Kendall would kill me if he found out that I had told them or even hinted towards it. We were finally in the car that Gustavo had boughten for us and since I finally had my license I was able to drive with out Bitters in the trunk.

"Remember when we shot City is Ours?" I asked recalling the memory.

Carlos and James laughed. "That was fun. I really thought that Gustavo was going to murder us to be honest." James said with a smile.

We laughed the entire way there, while singing the Turd Song with each other. "Its nice to see you laughing like this." Carlos said. "Its seems like its been a while since I have seen you like this."

I ignored his comment, even though I knew that he was right. We were finally on the rink, and only eight people had shown up. After three hours of skating and playing we were out of breath and drenched in sweat. We were getting our gear off and deciding on where to go to dinner. "Oh did you guys hear?" James asked, while putting his gloves in his bag. "Dak came out today. No one even knew he was gay, I mean I didn't. Did you Logan? I mean you two are closest."

But Dak being gay meant trouble, it meant that Kendall was going to be furious at me and think that I knew the whole time. I was panicking and trying to think of how to handle this. "I didn't know. He was always talking to me about Mercedes and their problems they were having. They were always about her being a spoiled princess and him trying to deal with it." I said trying to take my mind off of how Kendall was going to react.

"No, Stephanie was telling me that him and Mercedes were always fighting because she knew he was gay. Apparently, all those stories of them screwing around and fucking were all made up. Mercedes said that she and Dak never even rounded second base." James said.

"Wow, I can't believe he hid it for so long from everyone. I mean, you and Kendall were pretty obvious about it." Carlos said. He started making moaning sounds "Oh Kendall, right there!" He screamed while laughing at his joke.

I couldn't process what was being said. Whenever I had all my gear packed up, I pulled my cell phone out of my bag. I had over twenty missed calls and twelve text. I opened my inbox. You are so dead. How could you lie to me. Dak IS gay, so how long have you two been fucking each other. Where are you? I thought I said you could only see me. Get home now.

I read though all the text. I picked up the phone and pressed Kendall's number. -WHERE ARE YOU?- He screamed.

"I'm at the rink with Carlos and James." I said.

-GET BACK HERE NOW!-

"Okay, we're coming back now."

The twenty minute drive back to the Palm Woods was quiet. James and Carlos knew that something was wrong. They knew me well enough to know when I was upset. We were finally pulling into the parking lot and I slowly opened my door and grabbed my gear out of the trunk. I started walking into Palm Woods.

I pressed the up button on the elevator once I reached there. I was nervous to go into the room. I knew that this fight was going to be horrible, and there was nothing I could say or do about it. I stood outside the door for a second and then walked into the apartment.

As soon as I opened the door Kendall was right there, pacing waiting for me to get there. He gripped my arm squeezing tighter then he needed to. He dragged me into the room, when we got in there he threw me to the ground. "Dak's not even gay, huh?" He said, getting in my face. "How long have you been fucking cheating on me with him?"

I looked down. "I'm not answering that, because I didn't cheat. I shouldn't have to keep saying that to you."

Kendall punched the ground and inch away from my face. I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Why are you crying. I haven't even done anything to you...well yet at least."

He pulled me off the ground by my collar. He pinned me against the wall. "Logan, why the fuck would you do this to me? Do you even know the shit that Dak was saying about you down there?"

I looked at him. Dak was my best friend outside of Big Time Rush, there was no way he would say something bad about me. But then again, I didn't know that Dak was gay, obviously I didn't know him. "No…"

Kendall dropped my collar. "He knows that you are gay too. We were talking, that was how I found out. He told me that you were into him, that you were pathetic how you always make yourself available for him." Dak thinks I'm pathetic? "He said that he could never even consider dating someone who is hideous and ugly like you."

He looked at me. I knew that I had a hurt look on my face. Dak was suppose to be one of my friends, but yet he was spreading lies about me. "Kendall, he-"

"I know. He was trying to make me jealous and I guess it worked." He pulled me into a hug, knowing that I was upset about what he had just told me. "Logie, no one is ever going to love you the way I do."

I pulled away and looked at him. "What is that suppose to mean?" I asked with a hurt tone.

"Logie Bear, I didn't mean to upset you. All I meant was that all other people want to do is hurt you. You can't trust anyone but me. I'm the only one who loves you and cares about you. I thought you knew that." I looked at him for a second. I believed him after he said it. I ignored the thoughts saying he was wrong.

"I know that I can't trust anyone else." I said.

He smiled at me and caressed my cheek in a loving way. "I only want to protect you. All everyone else is going to do is take advantage of you. They don't care about you."

I looked down, accepting what he was saying to me. No, that isn't right. He's trying to control you. I looked at Kendall. "You're protecting yourself. N-Not me." I stammered.

Kendall dropped his hand away from my face and started to bite down on the inside of his cheek. "Myself? Is that what you really think?" He asked. I could hear the anger in his voice.

I didn't know if I wanted to answer. I knew that I should back down, but I still had a little bit of dignity left and was going to keep it. "Y-Yes. I d-do." I took a breath and tried to find courage. "I don't want you to control me."

He sat down on the bed and pinched the bridge off his nose as if he was trying to stay calm so he could finish listening to what I wanted to say. I looked down at the floor so I could calm myself down a little bit. I needed to relax. "I don't think we should be together anymore." I said, boldly. I looked at him for a moment.

When I said that he looked up at the wall, with a panicked look on his face. Then he smiled and looked at me. "Okay Logie. I understand." He said. He walked over to me and was so close that I was pressed against the wall wishing that I could move back even further. His eyes were hard and cold and I didn't know what he was going to do. I looked him in the eyes waiting for him to punish me for breaking up with him. "So you are breaking up with me?" He asked in a cool voice.

"Y-Yes." I said softly.

I didn't even have time to react. He swung back and punched me dead square in the ribs. I doubled over in pain. I couldn't breath properly and when I did, it hurt more then anything in this world. I caught my breath and stood up. Kendall was standing there patiently waiting for me to stand up. When I finally did stand up he just asked on simple question. "Do you still want to break up? Because I can go on like this all day. Can you, Logie?"

I looked at him for a second and shook my head. I knew that there was no way I could keep taking blows like that last one. I was still having trouble breathing and was having to take slow and steady breaths. "You asshole." was all I could manage to put together.

He looked at me as he walked passed me to the door, but he came back and planted a kiss on my lips and with a smile said, "I knew you would see it my way."

I looked down and I heard the door slam. I felt like I could no longer stand up, so I did the only thing I could think of. I laid down and bed and allowed the sobs to take over my body.

End Chap

A/N: Well I never thought this was possible, but I hate Kendall right now. I got the whole stitches idea from American History X, I watched that movie not to long ago so that was still in my head. But the next chapter is going to be pretty intense, can't wait for you guys to read it.

Read and Review please.