A/N: I am so glad that I am getting so much feedback on this story. I hope that it keeps up.

Chapter 6

I felt pain, I felt like I had been run over by a car. "Logan?" I heard a familiar voice asked. I fluttered my eyes open and saw Mrs. Knight sitting in a chair next to me. "Oh Logan, I'm so glad that you finally woke up." I felt her arms around me.

"Where am I?" I asked. I looked around, but already knew once I saw an IV in each of my arms. I was in the hospital. Kendall had put me in the hospital.

"Honey, you're in the hospital." She looked at me with a smile on her face trying to soothe me.

"Where is Kendall?" I asked trying to sit up. I felt my head spin and decided it was best if I just stayed laying down. I looked at Mrs. Knight she had a worried look on her face.

"He's in the waiting room. Everyone is worried about you honey. But I need to ask you something and it is very important, I wanted to wait until you came to before I made any decisions." She was looking at me very intently. I waited for her to continue. "Do you want to press charges against Kendall for what he did?"

I looked at her like she was crazy. I silently wondered why she would think I would want to press charges against my boyfriend. "No, I don't." I said softly.

"Are you sure, sweetie? There is no excuse for what he did to you. Katie tried to tell me that his anger was getting out of control. I just didn't want to think that my son would do something like this, can you ever forgive me?" She asked softly.

I gave her a weak smile. "You have nothing to be sorry about Mama Knight."

She chuckled nervously and I saw tears rolling down her eyes. "Logan, what happened to your arms?" I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. "Did you do this to yourself?" I stared at my arms for a few seconds before I nodded. "Oh honey, the doctors want to send you to a mental hospital. The decision is mine and mine alone. I want you to go, but I don't want you to resent me for giving the okay."

I didn't know what to think. In a way, I knew that would be best for me. It would give me some time to get my head together and get over what was going on and make some important decisions I knew I had to make. "I wouldn't resent you...maybe it would be best if I did go." I didn't want to be away from everyone, but I had done it for the last few months and knew that I needed time away from Kendall. "Can I see everyone now?"

She nodded and stood up. "Who do you want to see?" She asked. "You can only have three visitors at a time."

"I want to see Kendall, first." I said. She nodded and walked out of the room. I looked over to my left and saw a mirror. I forced myself to sit up so I could see my reflection. I didn't recognize myself. My left eye was swollen shut and my right eye was a deep shade of purple. I had a butterfly bandaid on my nose and my left cheek was swollen and bruised. I sighed and laid back down.

I heard a knock on the door. "Logie?" I saw Kendall walk in. "Oh, Logie. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for things to go this far."

He walked over to me in two strides and wrapped his arms around me.I leaned into his embrace and started crying. "Kendall...how...how could you do this to me. You told me that you loved me." I pulled away from him and saw that he too was sporting a black eye.

"I do love you Logan, I just." He paused so that he could think for a few seconds. "I just lose control sometimes you know that. I never mean to hurt you." I didn't say anything I didn't know what to say. "My mom is sending me to anger management. I will be in a hospital for five days and then released to work on it outside of the hospital. She told me if I didn't go that she would move me back to Minnesota and I would never lay eyes on you again."

I smiled. He choose to try and change so that he could keep me. Then my brain kicked in. He wasn't suppose to hurt me like this. "I hope you change Kendall. I can't be with you until you do change."

Kendall looked down. I thought that he was mad, but when he looked up he had tears in his eyes. "I know. I have hurt you and I am going to change. I want to be with you more than anything in this world. I can't even begin to imagine a life where I couldn't call you my boyfriend."

"You are going to have to for a little while. I can't do this right now, I want to move out of the apartment when I am released, I don't want to be near you until you can prove that you won't hurt me." I said bluntly. My thoughts were finally screaming louder than Kendall's voice in my head.

"I don't want you to move out, what do you want me to do. I swear, I will do anything." He pleaded.

"What do I want? I want you to stop cheating on me. I want you to get your anger under control and I want you to be the Kendall I fell in love with. I want you to tell me that you love me and mean it. I don't want to have to live in fear of you anymore. I want to know that if you have a bad day you won't take it out on me." I said softly. I felt tears streaming down my face again. "But until you can do all those things, I think its best I move out so that I'm not around you."

He put his face in his hands crying. He stood up and walked to the door. "I'm sorry Logan. I will make this right, I promise." He didn't wait for my response. He walked out of the room. I hit the bed in frustration.

Things weren't suppose to be like this. I was suppose to be happy with Kendall. He was suppose to take me on dates and he was suppose to show me how much he loved and cared. But he didn't do that. He hit me, yelled at me and made me feel like I was nothing. He had broken me, he had destroyed me so that he could control me. I didn't know who I was anymore.

I heard the door open again. I wiped away my tears. I saw James, Carlos and Dak walk in nervously. "Hey Loganator." Carlos said with a grin. I looked down. "Are you feeling okay?"

"No. My boyfriend almost killed me, I don't know how he didn't." I said. The thought had finally come into my head. He wasn't letting go of my throat when I passed out. He should have killed me.

James walked over to me and wrapped an arm around me in a soothing matter. "He didn't kill you because Carlos and I broke down the door. We knew that he was hurting you and we weren't going to just let it happen." He paused. I could tell that thinking about it hurt him. "When we came in he was choking you. You were unconscious on the floor. I tackled Kendall and punched him a few times in the face." James said smoothly.

"I was checking on you. You still had a pulse. The doctors said that you blacked out from all the pain you were in." Carlos was near tears. "I thought he had killed you when we first got in there. I thought that you were dead." Carlos finally started sobbing. Dak hugged him.

I didn't know how to process all the information I was given. James and Carlos had saved my life. I owed them a lot. They were the reason I was laying in this bed. "Thank you." was all I managed to say.

"Logan, you need to break up with Kendall." Dak said softly. "I know that you don't want to, but he is dangerous and none of us want to lose you."

I knew that he was right. "I told him that I couldn't be with him until he changed." I said sadly. They all smiled at me. It amazed me that they could be happy about that while I was miserable. "I hope he does change. And I need to talk to Gustavo about moving me into my own apartment. I can't handle being around Kendall."

"You can just move in with us." Carlos offered.

"I don't want to see him around the house. I can see him at the studio but I don't think I can handle seeing him at the house. At the house he may want to try and soothe things over and I'm not ready for that at least at the studio everyone is there and watching us and he can't corner me." I said.

I was trying to hide how hurt I was to Carlos and James, I didn't think they could ever understand how I was feeling. But Dak...Dak had gone through this before and I knew that he would understand. I knew that he could help me.

"Why don't you stay with me?" Dak asked. "I have an apartment to myself. You could crash on the pull out."

I thought about it for a second. "I don't know, Dak. I don't want to hurt Kendall. I don't want him to think that we are together."

"Who gives a damn what Kendall thinks!" James yelled getting annoyed.

"James." Dak said in a voice that seemed to be telling him to stop. "What he is TRYING to say is that you shouldn't be worrying about Kendall right now. You need to focus on you so that you can get over what has been happening to you the last several months."

I thought and knew that Dak was right. I needed to focus on me and I couldn't sit there and worry about Kendall all the time. "I am going to be in the hospital for a while though." I said feeling embarassed.

"Look, Logan, you need to get better. Because this..." James said pointing to my arms. "Scares the hell out of me. You should have talked to me and Carlos instead of butchering your arms."

"I know, I just didn't think you cared. I didn't want to burden you with my problems. You and Carlitos have dealt with a lot thanks to me and Kendall."

Carlos was the next to speak. "Are you saying that Kendall told you that we didn't care?" He asked motioning to himself and James. I nodded. I knew then that Kendall had lied to me, he had manipulated me so that he didn't have to worry about James and Carlos ruining what he had going for him. "He was wrong. We love you, you're like our brother. We would have helped you in any way we possibly could have."

I looked at them in awe for a moment. "I feel like such a fool." I said. I turned my back to them so they wouldn't see the tears falling from my eyes. "Kendall told me that he loved me and that no one else cared about me. That he was the only one I could depend on."

I felt someone rubbing my back. "We all care about you, Logan." Dak said in a soothing voice. "We would all three do anything for you. We want to help you."

I thought back to everything Kendall had told me about them. "He told me that you were saying how pathetic I am." He said to Dak. "That you said I made myself too available to you and that you found it funny that I was in love with you even though I didn't stand a chance because of how I look."

I turned my attention to James and Carlos. "He told me that you two were telling him that I was too needy and that he should break up with me. That you guys couldn't stand me anymore and wanted to kick me out of the band."

After I had told them what Kendall had said, I felt like an idiot for believing him like I did. I should have known that they would never say that. They all three were looking from me and then to each other.

"Of course, we don't feel that way. There would be no Big Time Rush without you." James said.

"Yeah, we already found out that having three members doesn't work, remember?" Carlos asked. I thought back to when James had temporarily left the band. It was a disaster to say the least.

Dak, however was quiet. "I did say something to Kendall, but that wasn't it at all." He seemed like he didn't want to go on. "I told him that I was thankful to have you because of how you were always there for me and if you didn't have anything planned you were there whenever I needed you. I told him that whoever you were with was lucky to have such a caring guy. But I never once said anything about you being pathetic."

I was quiet. I had already known that Kendall was lying. "He manipulated me, he took away my friends."

Dak hugged me. "It's only because he knew that controlling you would be easier that way. Without us, there was no way you were going to leave him. If you had us, we may have been able to reason with you."

"I feel so stupid." I said.

"Not to be inconsiderate or rude but when he hit you the first time, why did you stay?" Carlos asked.

I looked down trying to think of an answer. "It's not that easy Carlos. I loved him by then. It's not like on the first date he hit me, we had been dating for three months and I wanted to be with him. I loved him more than anything and didn't want to lose him. I still love him." I admitted sadly.

"Maybe he will change?" Carlos asked, as if unsure whether that was the right thing to say.

"I hope so, because for me a life without Kendall isn't a life at all." I felt the truth of the last statement really hit me. Without Kendall my life meant nothing. He was my reason to live and breathe. I needed him like I needed food and water. I couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like if he couldn't change.

"I use to say that about Tony." Dak said. He gave me an encouraging smile. "Believe me when I say that it gets easier."

I hoped so, I didn't think I could handle feeling the way I did at that moment all the time. I sighed. I heard a knock on the door and my doctor walked in. It was the same doctor I had when I needed stitches.

"Mr. Mitchell, I am just now getting time to come speak to you. I apologize for the delay." Dr. Steven's reviewed the chart he had in his hands. "Well, your MRI shows that you had no internal bleeding and that you have a minor concussion. That shouldn't be too much of a problem though. Lets see, broken nose, four broken ribs and a broken zygomatic bone."

"A broken cheek?" I asked. "Is that even possible to fix?" Dr. Stevens looked at me with pure shock on his face. "I want to be a doctor." I explained.

He smiled. "Well with surgery it is possible to fix. We need to reposition the bone and then it will heal on its own. But overall, you will be in here for about three days. You are set for surgery tomorrow morning."

With that he walked out and left me in there with Dak and the others. "I need surgery great. Wait til Gustavo hears that I'm gonna have a scar on my face." I said.

"You'll be fine, they have medicines to hide scars." James said. "Trust me, I had a cut on my eyebrow and it never scarred. See?" He put his head right in front of mine. I looked but sure enough there was no scar.

I laughed at how only James would be so worried about a scar on his eyebrow. They all seemed surprised when I laughed. I knew they hadn't expected it.

"I don't want you guys to walk on egg shells around me. That isn't going to help me, I need you guys to be normal. Otherwise, I'm not sure I will ever be normal again." I said.

They all nodded. I knew that I had a lot of work ahead of me, but I was confident I could do it. But one question lingered in my head. Sure I could change, but could Kendall?

End chapter

A/N: Oh my god, I rewrote this chapter about four times before I got this. I didn't know how to write it and how to have the aftermath come out. But I must say I am quite satisfied with this.

Read and Review please.