A/N:I felt I would update a little sooner then I was planning.

Well I am gonna skip forward and have flashbacks. I didn't want to keep dragging on and on so thought maybe flashbacks would be best. Enjoy.

Chapter 10

I was concentrating on my dancing and singing. We were doing a live concert in three weeks and Gustavo wanted us to be ready. We had already rehearsed Famous, Halfway There, and Til I forget About You. It had been two weeks since I hung out with the guys and things were getting better between Kendall and I. We could be alone and there was no nervous feelings for either of us. I was a little upset though because everyone at the Palm Woods knew about Kendall and I and I had no clue how they had found out.

Even though I was trying to concentrate on the moves I was suppose to be doing, I couldn't help but think about Dak when I had told him how much I still wanted Kendall.

It had been right when he had gotten home that day I hung out with the guys. "Hey Logan, how did hanging out with the guys go?" He asked as soon as he walked in the door and saw me on the couch.

"It was alright, Kendall and I talked and I told him that I might move back in as long as I could room with Carlos or James and he understood. He told me he wants me in his life no matter what." I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

He got an annoyed look on his face. "So you are going to go back to him eventually?" Dak asked softly.

"I think so, I think that Kendall is the person I was meant to be with and when I see that he has changed I can be with him and be happy again."

I sighed, things with Dak had been awkward since that conversation, and I couldn't help but let it bug me. I knew that he didn't want to see me hurt again, but at the same time he was making me feel guilty for wanting Kendall back.

We finally got a break after two hours of singing and dancing. I sat down on the couch in the break room and sipped on some tea. I looked at Kendall who was drinking coffee. I could tell that he was tired, he had bags under his eyes and seemed to lack the energy he normally had. He was quiet today too.

I sighed. Things with Kendall were better but they were much more confusing and awkward after the night before.

We were all watching the Boondock Saints. It was at the part where they realized the guy trying to kill them was their father. I was sitting in between Kendall and Carlos.

"It still amazes me that he was trying to kill his sons, then he hears this prayer and he's done?" Carlos said aloud.

I shushed him, this was the best part in the movie. Even though I had seen this movie countless times I was still on the edge of my seat. I didn't notice that Kendall was staring at me. Finally when the movie was over James and Carlos went up to their rooms. It was Kendall and me left in the living room.

"So, did you have fun tonight, Logie?" He asked with a sweet voice.

I smiled. "I did, I love having the gang back together its so nice having everyone back." I said. "Well, I should get back to Dak's. I'm sure he will be up waiting to find out how things went."

Kendall frowned. I knew that he was still worried that Dak and I had something going on. "Are you two together?" He asked nervously.

"No, we aren't. We're just friends." I said with a smile on my face.

"So you two haven't kissed or anything like that?" I knew that he was dreading the answer and I didn't know if he could handle knowing the truth. I sighed and knew that I had to be honest with him though, if I was serious about wanting us to work I had to be honest. I also knew though that this would be his real first test.

"Well…"I said softly.

The color drained from his face and his face was in his hands. "No! No, no, no!" He said with a hurt tone.

"Kendall, look at me." He did. I didn't see anger in his eyes. I had half expected to but instead I saw hurt and pain. "It didn't mean anything. It was after that time I had seen you in the studio after everything had happened. He was comforting me as I was crying and I just kissed him. It felt right at the time."

"YOU kissed HIM?" He asked. He looked away from me and then stood up and paced back in forth. I felt a knot in my stomach.

"Yes, but I realized right after that it was a mistake. I don't feel that way for him. I never have and I never could. I could never love someone like I love you, Kendall."

"Has anything happened since then?" He asked slowly.

"No, nothing. Like I said I don't feel that way for him. Besides my heart still belongs to someone."

He smiled at that. "Mine too."

I smiled one more time and he walked me to the door. When I walked out I turned around and hugged him, it was the first time we had any kind of intimate contact at all since he had been released. I pulled away and went to walk away.

I felt him grab my wrist and pull me back and his lips were against mine. I pulled away. "Kendall, its too soon." I said and then ran to the elevator.

When I was back in Dak's apartment my chest was heaving and my mind was everywhere.

I was looking at my cup of coffee and I could feel Kendall's eyes on me. I looked up at him and smiled. James and Carlos were in the room with us. "I'm sorry about last night." Kendall said softly. "I just couldn't help it, I just needed to feel that for a second."

"It's okay, just please don't do it again. When I'm ready trust me when I say you will know."

James and Carlos were giving us odd looks. "Did something happen when we went to bed last night?" Carlos asked.

I shrugged and decided to ignore the question that was just asked. "So, I was thinking and I'm thinking that I'm ready to move back in with you guys. I feel like Kendall and I are at a place where I would feel safe staying in the apartment again."

Kendall got a huge grin on his face. "Great, we already talked about this and you will be rooming with James and I am stuck with that big ball of love over there." I looked at Carlos and he had a huge grin on his face.

"Well, how about if I come back tomorrow? This way Carlos can move his stuff into his new room tonight?" I suggested they all nodded. We finally wrapped up the rehearsals and we were on our way back to the Palm Woods.

I couldn't seem to take my eyes off of Kendall. When we were walking out of the limo Kendall grabbed my arm. "Can I talk to you real quick?" I nodded. "I want to tell you something before you move back in."

I looked at him. I was expecting him to tell me that he had sex with Jo or someone else for that matter. I guess that's why I was so shocked when he said something I didn't expect him to. "I was so mad last night that I wanted to lash out and yell at you for kissing Dak."

I looked at him with a surprised look on my face. "Kendall, why are you telling me this?"

"I just want you to know what was going on in my head. The thoughts are still there, me wanting to yell or hit you, they are still there. I think they will be for awhile. But after last night I really feel like I can control them and I can control myself."

I smiled despite the nervous feelings I had. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that he had told me this. I looked at him for a few seconds. "I'm glad that you can control yourself. And I think it may be a good thing that you told me. Maybe its good that you do, it lets me really see that you are changing."

"I was really nervous to tell you. I didn't know if it was a good idea or not." He said. He smiled at me again. It was a cheesy smile but it still caused my knees to go weak and it made my heart melt. I grinned back. I wrapped my arms around him again. "I'll text you in a little, Logie. Okay?"

I nodded and then walked up to the apartment. Dak was sitting on the couch. Things had been really weird since I told him I would eventually be going back to Kendall. "How was the studio?" He asked.

"Awkward." I said, simply. He raised an eyebrow which let me know that he wanted to know what had happened. "Last night when I was leaving the apartment, I hugged Kendall and then he kissed me. But I pushed him away and then ran. I wasn't ready for him to kiss me."

"How did he react to you leaving?"

"He reacted alright. But it was the way he reacted when I told him we kissed that surprised me."

He frowned. "How did he react?"

"He was okay with it surprisingly. He didn't seem angry at all when I told him, he seemed more hurt than anything to be honest. But today he told me that he wanted to yell at me and even hit me. But he controlled himself. He fought the urge and didn't. That's good isn't it?"

Dak looked away from me. "He shouldn't even have those thoughts." He said.

"I can't expect them to just disappear I just need him to repress his anger and he is." I sighed knowing that he wasn't going to like the next thing I was going to tell him. "I'm moving back in tomorrow."

His eyes shot up to me and I felt like they were daggers. His eyes were piercing me and I didn't like it. "You're just going to move back? Ignore everything that he did to you? Just act like nothing happened?" He was frantic and he was raising his voice more and more with each word.

"I never said that I was going to act like nothing happened. I can't hold that against him forever." I said softly. I knew that he was angry at me, he didn't want me to move back in with Kendall.

"He hurt you, he almost killed you. How could you still love him? What is wrong with you Logan? Do you like being hurt?" His words finally hit me and I felt the tears well into my eyes. He must have realized what he said. "Logan..."

I didn't give him time to finish. I walked out of the apartment and went into the stairwell and sat there for a few minutes crying. Dak thought something was wrong with me, he thought that I was an idiot. I sighed. I felt my phone vibrate. Logan, I didn't mean it.

I typed back. There must have been some truth to it. Look just leave me alone. I will be back tomorrow to get my things. Goodbye.

I knew that Dak would never be able to accept the fact that I was with Kendall. He didn't like Kendall and had his own feelings for me. I sighed because I hated the fact that I had to lose Dak, but Dak had proved with all the awkwardness and what he said that he couldn't handle seeing me with Kendall.

I was finally knocking on the door of 2J. James answered the door. "Logan?" I knew that my eyes were still red and puffy from crying. I walked in and sat on the couch. "What happened?" He asked. I saw Kendall walking down the stairs. I put my face in my hands and started crying.

Kendall was instantly next to me, hugging me and rubbing my back in small circles trying to calm me down. I finally broke down and wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his chest. "Logie, what's wrong?" He asked with a smooth voice.

I took a deep breath. "Dak…he got mad at me when I told him that I was going to be moving back in. He told me that I must like being hurt and that something was wrong with me." It took me almost ten minutes to get all of it out. All I could think about was how much Dak had helped me and now he was the one who hurt me.

Kendall let go of me. He couldn't control his anger this time, he snapped. "How dare he! I'm gonna go have a talk with him" He quickly walked out of the apartment and I ran after him. By the time I caught up with him he was already at Dak's door banging on it as loud as he could. Dak answered the door. "Dude, whats your problem? You should be happy that Logan gets a second chance with the person he loves, not making him feel like shit about it."

"I would be happy if that person hadn't almost killed him." Dak snarled back.

I stepped in between the two before they had a chance to say anything else to each other. "STOP!" I yelled. "Stop, seriously. Both of you. Kendall, I already handled this. I didn't need you to. And Dak its my business if I want to take Kendall back, I can. I didn't want it to effect our friendship but evidently its going to."

Kendall stepped back to the wall and put his head against it. I looked at Dak and he seemed like he was angry. "All I've ever tried to do is help you Logan. I just don't want to see you hurt again."

"If I thought that Kendall was going to hurt me again I wouldn't even consider going back to him." I said. "I love Kendall. I need you to trust my judgement and respect it."

He looked down. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you and said what I did." It was the first time he had to apologize to me.

"I know that you didn't mean it. I just think I was shocked that you would try and hurt me like that. But I do forgive you. I want us to stay friends, but in order for that to happen you need to accept the fact that I want to be with Kendall more than anything in this world." I said, looking him straight in the eyes.

He nodded. "I'm sorry Kendall. I shouldn't have brought up what happened." Dak said.

I knew that Kendall wouldn't forgive as easily as I had. "I made a mistake Dak, and its one I will never make again. I don't want to take Logan's friends away from him but if you disrespect our relationship when or even if we get back together, I will not be okay with him being friends with you."

I knew that Dak wanted to say a snide comment, I could see it in his face. Instead though, he just nodded and closed the door. Kendall and I stood there looking at each other for a while. "Kendall, what about Jo?" I asked. If he wanted me to consider not being friends with Dak if he did something I needed to know that he would do the same for me.

He smiled. "I thought about that while I was at the hospital. I was forced to confront a lot of things Logie, and I made the decision that I wouldn't talk to her anymore or even associate with her for that matter. Dak never tried to break us up, but she did. That is what that picture message was."

"Does she know this?" I asked.

He nodded. "I talked to her last week when she approached me. She asked me if I was okay and told me that you didn't deserve me."

For once, I felt my anger flare. "What?" I yelled.

He smiled at my jealous reaction. "I told her that it was the other way around, I didn't deserve you but that wasn't going to stop me from trying to get you back."

"What did she say?" I asked nervously.

He frowned. "She didn't say anything, instead she sent a mass text to everyone at the Palm Woods telling them about us." So that was how everyone knew about me and Kendall being with each other. "She also proceeded to tell them that I hit you and I hit her when I was with her, which is a lie. I never hit her."

That bugged me. He told me that he loved me more than he ever did her. If that was the case why was I the one who was hit all the time. "Kendall..." I said softly. "Then how could you hit me if you loved me more?"

We were walking back into 2J at this point. "It's because she never drove me crazy like you did. The thought of her leaving me or cheating on me never bothered me. I didn't care. But when I thought about you leaving me it drove me insane. I thought that you had to be cheating on me because of my anger. And then when I hit you for the first time, it only got worse and worse."

"So, it was me?" I asked softly. I had been right all along, it was my own fault that Kendall had been hitting me.

His eyes widened and he got a pained and panicked look on his face. "NO! Don't ever blame yourself. I was and still am a little fucked up in the head. But it was never your fault, never ever blame yourself. I'm the one you should blame. You should hate me, Logie. I fucked up really bad." He was near tears. His voice was frantic when he spoke, and finally he fell to his knees and he just let the tears fall.

I pulled him into a hug and let him cry on my shoulder. "Kendall, you are changing. You will never have to be that person again. You fucked up but everyone makes mistakes. I love you so much, and I could never hate you. Well as long as you don't go back to the way you were I could never hate you."

He pulled away from me and I wiped his tears away with my thumbs. "I love you so much Logan. And I promise I will change. I will be the perfect boyfriend."

He clung to me again and continued to cry. I held him and rubbed his back and let him cry. One thing was for sure, this was a different Kendall. He was broken, just like me.

End Chapter

A/N: So I really, really like this chapter I think its my favorite chapter thus far. I wanted to show that it isn't only Logan who is suffering because of what Kendall did. But I will say that the Kendall verses Dak thing ISN'T over. Read the next chapter to see what happens, until then.

Also I am thinking about working on two stories, let me know what you think of the summaries

1. Kendall and Jett both mask their feeling for each other behind hatred, but what happens when they are in a compromising situation. It will be a two shot.

2. After Gustavo is accused of being sexist, he is forced to hire a female guitarist for the guys to work with. But what kind of trouble will she stir up?

Let me know about this chapter and my story ideas, I will really appreciate it.

Read and Review!