A/N: I hope everyone is still enjoying this story! I think this is my favorite story I have written thus far.

AND I REALIZED JUST NOW I WORK LITERALLY ALL DAY TOMORROW SO I AM POSTING ANOTHER CHAPTER. 3 IN TWO DAYS!

Chapter 11

A month had passed. I was staying with the band again and I was constantly hanging with them by the pool or in the apartment. I hadn't spoken to Dak since the big blow out at his apartment and I was sure at that point he was trying to avoid me.

I was currently sitting down watching a movie with Kendall. He and I had been spending more one on one time together. We were trying to build back up on friendship before we moved on with our relationship.

"Why do they always go to investigate a funny noise when there is a killer on the loose?" Kendall yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

"Its a movie Kendall. If it was realistic everyone would survive and then what kind of horror movie would that be." I said with a grin on my face. I felt my phone buzz.

"Well, I'm just saying." He said. He was looking at me pull out my phone.

I flipped it open and saw Message from Dak Zevon I pushed open. Hey, I need to talk to you. Can you come meet me in my apartment?

I looked at Kendall. "Hey Dak wants to talk to me, do you mind if I go down there to see whats going on."

I saw Kendall sigh. He still didn't like Dak, he was still afraid that Dak was going to swoop me off my feet and he would never have another shot with me. "Yeah, thats fine." I could tell that he was a little uncomfortable and on edge.

On my way. I sent it back and then looked at Kendall. "Just so its clear, my heart still belongs to you." I said softly. I saw his face light up and he got the biggest smile I had seen on his face in a while.

"I'm happy to hear that."

I stood up and walked to the elevator. When I got in I saw Jo. "Hey Logan." She said cheerfully. I ignored her. She had lied about Kendall and even went as far to tell everyone about us. "Look, Logan, I really am sorry I guess I was just jealous."

I finally decided to say something. "You lied, you told people stuff you had no right even talking about. You will never have Kendall back. We are working on us getting back together so you can stop trying now."

The elevator dinged and I walked out. I looked back and saw that Jo had tears in her eyes. God dammit, when did I become such an asshole. I walked up to Dak's apartment and knocked. He opened the door with a smile on his face. "Logan, come in."

I walked in nervously and then made my way to the couch and then sat down. "So what's up, why did you want to talk to me." I asked nervously.

"I just wanted to apologize. I've been ignoring you. I just needed some time to get use to you and Kendall and I needed time to adjust." He couldn't look at me, I knew that he was embarrassed.

"It's okay buddy. I understand, I think we both just needed some time to think. Is that all you wanted to talk about?" I asked.

"No, I wanted to say something to you. But I'm afraid of how you will take it." He couldn't meet my gaze, he was moving his hands nervously and staring at his feet. I didn't know what to say so I was just quiet. "Look, you lived with me for a month. I saw you cry almost everyday for the first week and a half. Then I saw you start to return to your normal, loving, careful self. I finally had my friend back."

"Things are getting better." I said. "They are better."

"For now, but what happens if he reverts back to his old ways. Logan, please give me a chance. At first I wanted to wait until you were over Kendall, but I realize that by then it will be too late. I need you to give me a chance. I care about you so much, I think I love you and I want a shot. He has had a lot of shots and fucked all of them up. I deserve one." By then he was looking me in the eyes, he wasn't blinking and it was making me uncomfortable.

I finally looked away. "Dak, I would be lying to you and myself. I love Kendall and now that I see he is changing, I just know that we are going to work. He is different. We are both getting over what happened. I'm getting over the hurt and he is getting over the guilt. I wasn't the only one hurting when he was doing that to me."

Dak looked at me with an annoyed look on his face. "Do you even hear yourself right fucking now?" He practically yelled. "You are rationalizing what he did to you, you are being an idiot. You are falling back into the trap known as Kendall Knight."

"I am not, you haven't seen him you don't know him. You have no right to tell me whether he is changing or not." I said instantly. I felt myself getting on my feet and looking at him.

"PEOPLE LIKE HIM CAN'T CHANGE, LOGAN! Don't you get that? He's always going to treat you like shit, and do you want to know why, its because he doesn't love you!" He was standing too and was trying to keep his distance.

I couldn't believe that he had just told me that. It hurt and I knew that I wanted to hurt him back. "You're just mad and jealous because Tony never loved you enough to change, like Kendall is."

He didn't say or do anything for a few moments. He finally looked at me and when I saw his eyes I knew that I had hurt him. But I didn't feel guilty because his words had stung me too. I didn't have time to process what happened next. He closed the distance in a tenth of a second and then was holding my head in his hands and was kissing my lips.

I couldn't process what was happening until a few seconds had passed. I pushed him away from me. "I don't feel the same way you do, Dak. You are only making this harder on yourself. You need to understand that I love Kendall, I will always love Kendall, not you."

I couldn't stay to face his reaction. I turned around and ran up to 2J, when I ran in James and Carlos were standing there staring at me. I was out of breath and I felt my face turn beet red when I saw them staring at me.

"What happened?" James asked with a concerned tone.

"Dak, that's what happened." I was angry at the fact that Dak had forced me to kiss him. "Where is Kendall?" I asked. They pointed to the room. "Kendall, will you come down here?" I screamed.

"Do you want us to leave?" Carlos asked.

I thought about it. I didn't know how Kendall was going to react. I only hoped that he wouldn't be angry at me. "No, stay here. I think you may have to help me restrain him."

Kendall was walking down the stairs. "What do you mean?" Carlos asked.

"You'll know as soon as I say it."

I looked at Kendall his eyes were red and puffy and his face was pale. I knew that he had been crying. He was afraid that I wasn't coming back. Whenever I had left without him he was afraid Dak would get to me. "What's going on?" He was nervous.

"I need to talk to you, and its not me leaving you." I said trying to soothe him. I saw the color appear back in his face and he nodded. "I went to go talk to Dak and we kind of got into an argument." I said.

"Wait, you two argued?" James asked surprised.

I nodded. "He told me that he wanted me to give a chance before I took Kendall back. I told him that I would be lying to myself that I needed to be with Kendall, he told me I was an idiot and that people like that could never change and that Kendall doesn't love me. That's when I told him that he was just mad that Tony never loved him enough to change." I was looking at Kendall, his fist were balled and he couldn't mask the anger on his face. I didn't know if I should say the next part but I knew I had to. "And then he kissed me and I pushed him away and told him he was making it harder on himself that I love you." I said looking at Kendall.

"How dare he kiss you, I'll fucking kill him!" Kendall snarled.

He tried to go for the door but James and Carlos had wrapped their arms around him and were trying to restrain him. I walked up to him and touched his cheek, he seemed to forget about his anger for a few seconds. "Kendall, don't. He isn't worth it. I told him that I love you and want to be with you."

His face softened and James and Carlos let go of him. That was a mistake, he bolted for the door before any of us could even lay a finger on him. "This isn't good." Carlos said. He put his helmet on and we all ran after him. "Take the stairs, maybe he took the elevator!"

We listened to Carlos but when we got into the stairwell we could hear Kendall muttering to himself while he ran up the stairs. "I'll fucking murder him."

"KENDALL!" I screamed. "Don't do anything stupid. Please!" I was trying to plead with him. Sure his anger wasn't directed at me but he still couldn't lash out like this. We were finally at Dak's floor and we saw Dak in Kendall's face. "Its true, I did kiss him."

"Big mistake, pretty boy. Lets see if your fans can recognize you after I'm done with you." Kendall said with hatred.

However, Dak was faster. Something Kendall didn't know is that Dak was a trained boxer. Dak hit Kendall in the jaw, it caused Kendall to step back he swung back and landed a punch in Dak's stomach. I did the first thing I could think of I ran as fast as I could to get in between the two guys. But I was thrown to the ground when I felt a left hook to my side. It was thrown by Kendall.

He looked at me with his eyes widened. "Logie! I didn't mean to!"

I grabbed my ribs and stared at him trying to back away. "Stay away." I felt James and Carlos grab me.

"That wasn't intended for you." James said. "You broke his punch before he hit Dak."

"I know, but it still takes me back to a really dark time." I said. I looked over and Dak and Kendall were wrestling around on the floor trying to pin the other down. I saw Kendall finally get the upper hand and he hit Dak as hard as he could with his fist. Carlos finally had his arms around Kendall and was dragging him away from Dak.

"Kendall, Logan is more important than this." Carlos said harshly. Kendall seemed to realize what he had done exactly because he was by my side and he couldn't make eye contact with me.

"Logie, I didn't mean to. I swear, I would…I never…" I saw giant tears falling down from his eyes. Carlos wrapped an arm around him.

"Kendall, you lost your temper. How do I know that couldn't have been me?" I asked.

"Lets go back to the apartment and talk about this." He said softly. He tried to help me up but I flinched away from his touch. I allowed James to help me up and then walked back to the apartment.

"Don't be to hard on him Logan, he really is trying." James said softly.

"James you will never understand how hurt I was by what he did. You don't understand," James didn't say anything after that. I felt bad for being so direct and harsh, but it was the truth.

I followed Kendall up to his room. He went to close the door. "Please leave it open." I said. The last time I had been in this room was when we got into the fight that almost killed me. He nodded sadly and then walked over to me.

"Logan, I didn't mean to hit you. I really didn't." He said with a pleading voice. He still had tears falling from his eyes.

"I know you didn't Kendall. But you have to control you anger in general, not just when it comes to me." I said.

"Logan, how would of you reacted had I told you that Jo kissed me?" He asked with an urgent tone. "You wouldn't have been happy about it."

"I wouldn't have hit her." I said. "Kendall, you've made a lot of progress, its just hard watching you take a step back."

"Logan, a lot of other guys would have reacted the same way I did. I'm only human. When it comes to someone forcing themselves on you I will never be able to hide that anger. You mean too much to me to just let something like that go." He said.

"Kendall, you will never know what I went through because of you anger. I don't want to hold it over your head and that isn't what I'm doing. But you hurt me in some of the worst ways imaginable." I said.

"I know you aren't holding it over my head. Try and make me understand how I made you feel." I heard him say softly.

I didn't know what to say to even begin. I thought of something though. I put a finger up motioning him to give me a few seconds and then I ran into mine and James' room and grabbed the composition book I wrote in when I was in the hospital. I ran back into Kendall's room and threw it at him.

"What's this?"

"You want to understand. Read it, outloud." I said softly.

He turned to the first page and looked at it for a few seconds before he started. "The guy who was suppose to love me more then anything is the reason I'm here. He swore to protect me from everything, little did he know he was the one I would need protection from." He looked at me. "I can't even begin to wrap my head around what he has been doing to me the last few months. He hit me, used me, cheated on me and as if that wasn't enough he took all my friends away from me.

"Kendall has changed. The Kendall I loved would never do this to me. He used to be the one who could make me blush but now if I'm around him I wait to be hit. I feel so broken and stupid. How could I ever believe that he loved me. He didn't love me, he destroyed me. He broke me so that he could control me. He never cared about me. He forced me to have sex with him, maybe not directly but if I denied him he would have taken it anyways.

"I feel numb, like I will never love or care about anything again. I feel like I am going to die, and I can't take it. Kendall hurt me, he hurt me so much. I want to die, I want to get away from this pain and just end it all. I want this all to end. I need it to, because I can't keep living if all I ever have to think about is the pain I was caused. I can't help thinking I made him do it. I should have been better. I should have loved him more and been a better boyfriend. This is all my fault. I hate myself."

That was all I had written that day. "That is how it made me feel."

"I made you hate yourself, when all along you should have hated me." I heard him say. He was crying again. "Logan, I'm so sorry. I was so fucked up, my thinking was way off."

"I wanted to die whenever I got out of the hospital. I wished that you had really killed me." I finally admitted. I hadn't even told Dak what I was telling him now.

"Logie, I can't promise that I will be able to control my anger in every situation, but when it comes to us fighting I will always keep it under control. I will never hurt you again."

I didn't know why, but I did believe him. I believed him with everything I had inside of me. I didn't know if I should tell him though. So instead I said. "You are going to have to show me that."

He smiled at me. "I will. I will make up for what I did everyday for the rest of my life, Logie."

I couldn't help it, and I couldn't stop myself. I leaned in and kissed him. Nothing big just a peck. "If you can keep doing as well as you have, I will be yours again in no time."

His eyes lit up. "I sure hope so."

End Chapter

A/N: I wanted this chapter to end on a good note instead of the depressing ones they have been.

Read and Review please!