Chapter 4: Let the guilt go

Alex opened his eyes. He immediately realized that he couldn't see anything. His surroundings appeared pitch black, and he could feel the unmistakable sensation of mist on his face. He was also freezing cold, shivering violently. As he tried to move around, he realized that he was floating in a body of water. After a minute, his eyes adjusted and it was certain—he was in the middle of the lake. How the hell did I end up in the lake? I was just in bed…this doesn't make any sense... He struggled to swim forward but his wet clothes were powerfully dragging him down. Frantically, he looked in all directions for land, but there was none to be seen. After a moment, Alex spotted a faint light piercing the thick mist that hovered over the lake. The light appeared to be resonating from a small boat, slowly drifting toward him in the water.

"Hey!" Alex hollered out. "Help me—I'm gonna drown out here!"

Thank God someone had showed up. As the boat got closer though, he realized that there was nobody in it. It was old and heavily rotted, a ghost vessel drifting aimlessly in the water. The light was radiating from a flashlight, perfectly balanced on the edge of the boat. It looked oddly familiar. Wait a second…is that my flashlight? It was indeed Alex's flashlight. This was his old rowboat. The same one he had taken out on the lake that night with…

"Josh?" Alex gasped as the boat drifted aside, revealing a child's body floating face-up in the water. No doubt it was Josh, sporting an orange t-shirt and grey cargo shorts. His body was pale and completely lifeless, he looked irrefutably dead. But suddenly, as Josh floated on his back, his head turned sideways toward Alex.

"Hi, Alex," Josh said solemnly. Alex was confounded.

"Josh…what are you doing out here?" Alex asked concernedly. "I want to help you. I've gotta get you out of here."

"I'm dead, Alex," he replied plainly. Hearing nine-year-old Josh make such a statement was overwhelmingly macabre.

"Of course you are," Alex said coming to his senses. Josh had been dead for several years and in that regard, this whole scenario was entirely impossible. Was it a dream, or some sort of paranormal apparition? Either way, Alex was captivated. Maybe this was an opportunity to tell his brother everything he never had the chance to say. But what did it matter if it wasn't real?

"I just...I don't want to see you like this, Josh." Alex felt his eyes dampen. "I'm just so sorry for happened to you."

"I forgive you, Alex," Josh said.

"Well," Alex said, struggling to keep afloat. "I can't seem to forgive myself."

"It's okay, Alex," Josh said smiling. "Let the guilt go."

"I'm trying really hard," Alex replied. The two brothers floated together in silence as Alex attempting to make sense of what was happening. "Josh, why are we out here in the lake? You brought me here didn't you?"

"I have to tell you something, Alex," Josh said. "It's really important."

"Tell me, please," Alex said despairingly, his wet clothes forcefully threatening to pull him down into the chilling abyss.

"It's not safe here."

"Of course it's not!" Alex yelled back. "I could have told you that. We're out in the middle of Toluca Lake at night. You died out here, Josh!"

"That's not what I meant," Josh said. "You're not safe. Elle's not safe either. You're both in danger."

"What?" Alex asked perplexed. "How do you figure that? We left Silent Hill and we're starting a new life. I've got nothing to worry about anymore."

"Who controls the past controls the future," Josh said. "Who controls the present controls the past."

"What the hell are you talking about, Josh?" Alex shouted. "This is bullshit! Stop speaking in riddles and tell me what I you really mean." Despite Alex's aggressive remarks, Josh looked satisfied.

"Smile," Josh said with an eerie grin. Alex felt himself sinking below the surface of the lake.

"Wait!" Alex shouted right as he became completely immersed. He closed his eyes and struggled to hold his breath. The intensity of the freezing water became overbearing and he sharply breathed in. He felt the sensation of water entering his lungs and coughed violently.

"Alex?" Elle's voice echoed distantly. Alex opened his eyes and was in bed, drenched in water. He stopped coughing and sat still.

"I'm wet," Alex gasped.

"Well, you're covered in sweat," Elle said, sitting beside him on the hotel bed. "You sounded like you were having a nightmare or something."

"Fuck," Alex said, still breathing heavily. "It was so real."

"Were you dreaming about Josh?" Elle inquired.

"Yeah, actually" Alex said astounded. "How the hell did you know that?"

"Well, you kept calling out his name while I was trying to wake you up."

"Oh," Alex said plainly. "I guess that makes sense." Alex got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

"You okay?" Elle called out.

"Of course," Alex said, attempting to sound completely calm. He opened the medicine cabinet and found his sample pack of pills. HYDROCODONE 25MG TABLETS. TAKE 2 TABLETS PER DAY FOR PAIN. Alex paused for a moment. I'll make up for my missed doses yesterday. He popped four pills. Shortly thereafter, he began to feel a warm numbing sensation spread throughout his body. But somehow, the pain did not go away.