Title: Facing Their Pasts 9/9+Epilogue
Author: Forsaken2003
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: A Sequel to 'Imprisonments'. The past comes back for both boys.
Warnings/Spoilers: Human verse and OOC
Beta'd by: Whichclothes

Part Nine

While Bob and Xander sat awkwardly in the living room William went to get the drinks. Even though Xander said only fifteen minutes William didn't really believe that. Xander needed the closure and he would take as much time he needed to get that. When he came back into the living room they were both still quiet. William decided that he needed to get it started. "Mr. Martin, you said you wanted to explain."

Bob coughed. "Yes I did. First of all I really do want to apologize. What I am going to say I am not using as an excuse, there is no excuse for what I've done." He sighed, unable to look at Xander, to see the damage he had caused. "Six months before the accident I had lost my job. I was a lawyer for fifteen years and there had been budget cuts and I was one of the ones to be let go." He started telling his tale. "At first I wasn't relieved but I had another account so if anything happened my family and I would be all right financially until I was able to find another job."

William nodded, not saying anything, but silently he thought that had been extremely responsible. He didn't understand what that had to do with Bob driving drunk. Xander didn't move; he just remained passive.

"When my wife found out that I had lost my job she admitted to having an affair with my boss. It turned out that was the real reason I was fired. They said it would be too awkward that my boss was dating my ex-wife while I still worked there."

"Bloody hell…" William whispered. He couldn't imagine losing everything. Before he had gotten into trouble and gone to prison he didn't feel like he had lost anything. He looked at Xander who was looking back at him. Their feelings shone through for each other. Neither could picture living their lives without the other. They entwined their fingers together.

Bob nodded; he couldn't stop the small smile that crept on his face. He could see how much William and Xander cared for each other. The smile was quickly wiped away when he thought that he could have been responsible for ruining not only Xander's life but William's as well. "My entire life was gone. My ex got full custody of my kids because I didn't have a job. I only had visitation rights every other weekend. It became so hard that I turned to drinking." Bob looked at Xander. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I was just trying to make my own pain go away."

"I'm sorry," Xander said and he meant it. In the last few years all he had thought about was his loss. Not that anyone could blame him, after all. He had that right. But he hadn't ever wondered why the guy had been drinking.

"Don't be, none of this is your fault. And as much as I'd love to blame the ex I can't do that either. It was my decision to try to find something worth living for from a bottle," Bob replied. "I just want you to know that I have been sober since the accident. I served two years in prison. I know I was let off easy. But I will always regret what I did to you and you deserved to know why this happened."

Xander sat there silently as he tried to figure out exactly what to say. William squeezed his hand, letting him know that he wasn't alone and whatever it was that Xander was going to say he would stand behind him one hundred percent. "I can't forgive you… I don't know if I will ever be able to actually forgive you."

"I understand completely." Bob said and stood. "I'm sorry to have intruded on you."

Xander stood and then William. "No… thank you. I may not forgive you but thank you for telling me. And I am sorry about what your ex-wife did to you. I'm glad that you realized what you did was wrong. A lot of people wouldn't have cared."

"I wanted to contact you for so long but I didn't have that right. That's a lie; I was too much of a coward," Bob confessed.

"I don't think I would have listened to a word you had to say," Xander replied honestly. He held out his hand, surprising both Bob and William.

Bob shook his hand. "I wouldn't have blamed you. I believe my fifteen minutes is up. Thank you for listening to me." He bowed his head and walked himself to the door.

When the door closed quietly Xander flopped onto the couch with a huge sigh. "That was… weird."

"Are you all right, luv?" William asked. He knelt in front of Xander ready to do whatever it was that Xander might need.

"I… I am." Xander replied softly. "I thought this would be hard. That he'd be some kind of monster, you know?" William nodded in understanding. "But he was just a normal guy that had his life shit on. I told him the truth- -I don't know if I'll ever forgive him. But…." He stopped talking not sure what it was that he wanted to say.

William smiled softly. "But he gave you what you needed… closure."

Xander sighed. "Yeah he did." He held out his hands for William to help him up. "I don't know about you but I'm exhausted. You want to lay down for a bit?"

"Sure, luv." William rose and took a hold of Xander's hands and pulled him up. "You'll have to call the girls after to let them know."

"After sounds good," Xander answered. When they got into their room he didn't even bother taking off his shoes he just fell face first onto the bed. "Did I do the right thing?" he asked, his words mumbled into his pillow.

William straddled Xander's thighs and massaged Xander's shoulders. "You did wonderful, Xan," he answered truthfully. "Thank you for listening to what he had to say."

"I only did that for you… at the beginning," Xander confessed, as he turned his head to the left catching only a glimpse of William. A low moan escaped his lips as William's fingers dug into tense muscles, loosening them.

"I know you did," William said. "I also knew that by the end it would make you feel better. Told you that didn't I?"

Xander groaned again. "Yes, I will never question you again."

"If only I could believe that," William commented. He leaned forward and kissed the back of Xander's neck.

"Do you think we could start planning our trip to see your dad?" Xander asked, changing the subject. There was no point arguing that William was wrong, he wasn't.

William stopped massaging surprised by the new subject. "That's not going to happen for a while."

"Why not? Summer's coming so classes will be over for a few months and I'm sure Charlie will give you some time off," Xander countered.

"You know he hates when you call him that." William said. He went back to rubbing Xander's shoulders. "What about you? This wouldn't be just going to the corner store or even the next town over. This is crossing the ocean."

Xander was silent and William began to wonder if he had fallen asleep. It wouldn't have been the first time. "I think it's time. I've wasted enough time being afraid. Besides you'll be there, Will, to keep me grounded."

"That I will, luv," William confirmed, extremely pleased. He knew they would go eventually but he had figured maybe a year from now. "I'll call my dad next week to let him know. It will give him more of a chance to get to know you. I knew when he finally accepts that you are here to stay he will accept you into the family."

"I hope so," Xander said with a smile. He didn't expect Elliot to welcome him with arms wide open but once they both decided to get to get to know each other it would be better, even if it was just for William.