Two months have passed since the night when me and Edward had a "sleepover" and we had gone back to our old ways. Not saying any words to each other and him sometimes ending up by my classes. Life had gone on painfully slow.
Nothing new happening. It stayed the same, a everlasting routine that I wish to break so badly. I would get home, take a shower, get some food then hide in my room till night. Where I would ride my bike around, I would be free.
My abusive father would be the last thing on my mind, Edward would be gone with the wind. But I… I will be the only thing on my mind. Not in a selfish shallow way but just a deep, get to know myself way.
Two months ago if you asked me why I didn't call the cops on my father I wouldn't be able to answer now, if you did. I would say that he's the only thing I have left.
Two months ago if you asked me if I could be anything what would I be? I wouldn't say the rain, or a superhero, or even someone else. I wouldn't know what to say. Now I would say that I wanted to be seen. I want someone to see me, to show me I'm not invisible.
But that is exactly what I am, invisible. You could be walking down the hallway, I would be staring at you. You would turn around cause the hairs on your neck would stand up straight from the feeling. But you wouldn't see anyone.
You would see right through me. Because to you, I'm not there. I'm the shadow that is in the middle of the empty desert. You can't find where it is coming from but you realize, does it really matter?
I need to find direction. Someone needs to give me a little push in the right direction. I need to find someone who will be with me the whole way. But right now the only direction I could head is the direction towards "home".
I pulled into the driveway and got off my bike. Quietly walking around the house I climbed through my window. I didn't scream when I saw Charlie waiting there. Yeah I decided he wasn't my father, so he wasn't going to be graced by the word slipping from my lips.
I didn't flinch when he punched me, I didn't make a whimper when he kicked me. I kept silent, the only sounds were his frustrated grunts and my slightly labored breathing. I didn't even wince he started screaming and punching me.
I sighed in relief when he finally left. I grabbed my ipod and stuck the earplugs in, turning the music on full blast I laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling.
You wake up every morning looking for your answerYou're waiting for your signWhile Jeremiah's on his way to tell the peopleBut you watch him pass you walk the streets at night still looking for the reason... But you don't want to tryYou swear the world has got you backed into a cornerBut no one holds your hand to walk into a swear the light is gonna find youBut it can't find you if you're waiting all the :You say 'keep my head from going down'Just for a little just for a littleWatch my feet float off the groundJust for a little just for a littleA little love if you can hear this soundOh just give me somethingSomething to believe spend your days alone still hoping for the truth ohBut all you hear are liesBut no one else is gonna tell you what to do nowNo one else is gonna to help you hold the it's hard to keep on livingBut you're the one who's got to know just when it's :You say 'keep my head from going down'Just for a little just for a littleWatch my feet float off the ground[ From: . ]Just for a little just for a littleA little love if you can hear this soundOh just give me somethingSomething to believe come take me nowLove come take meLove come take me nowLove come take me take me nowCome take me take me nowCome take me take me nowCome take me take me :You say 'keep my head from going down'Just for a little just for a littleWatch my feet float off the groundJust for a little just for a littleA little love if you can hear this soundOh just give me somethingSomething to believe to believe inLove come take me(Something to believe in)Love is gonna take me take me take me(Something to believe in)Love is gonna come and save me(Love is gonna save me)[Parachute - Something To Believe In (Jeremiah).Chorus:You say 'keep my head from going down'Just for a little just for a littleWatch my feet float off the groundJust for a little just for a littleA little love if you can hear this soundOh just give me somethingSomething to believe in.
The lyrics frustrated me. Not because they were wrong, no because they were right. Freaking right in the bulls-eye right. I was waiting for a light to come even though it wasn't if I kept waiting.
I was expecting some perfect prince who's only worry was how to save me from the huge dragon while I sat in a castle expecting him to come.
I wasn't repunzal though.
I needed to take my hair out of its ponytail and jump out of this tower. that's the one thing I never got. Why did she wait until prince charming came when she got out of the castle herself.
Well I just realized her reason. She was afraid. To afraid to take that one leap of faith. It was easier said then done, but that wasn't going to stop me.
I had already made the first step. I was straddling the ledge, one foot hanging the other planted firmly on the floor. My body leaning out towards freedom, to escape all the pain and suffering I had grown accustomed to.
My head was to busy calculating the jump, trying to figure out if I was more likely to break a bone jumping or staying here. The answer was simple, I would be more likely to break a bone staying here. The jump was only 3 feet but it was huge.
Where would I stay if I ran away, how would I eat. How would I get money for lunch at school. My mind was calculating all this while my heart was no where to be seen. It might be hiding in the closet or running through the woods, happy, free.
Suddenly, my mind was made up. I couldn't stay here anymore. Charlie was getting more violent, growing more and more angry. Soon weapons would be involved, I could feel it in my bones.
I had to run away.
I would get a job at a store, I would stay at the shack Edward showed me. With my decision made I decided to do some interviews today and tomorrow. Sense it just turned to Saturday. I made a list of all the places I could work.
The bakery, the little sandwich shop, bookstore, music store. It wasn't a big list but those are the only places in town where Charley never goes, I couldn't risk running into him. I then narrowed the list to what stores were looking for new people.
The sandwich shop and music store. I could work at both as long as I had part time jobs, I wouldn't get much sleep and I would skip school sometimes but its not like anyone would notice.
I began to pack all my clothes. Grabbing thick and thin sweatshirts, t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, shorts and jeans. I also packed several blankets, 2 pillows, and a poncho. I hate ponchos but they would keep me dry if it rained.
I started to dig around my room for money. Checking under my mattress, drawers, and the pages between books. When I was done I had a total of $23.84. I grabbed my wallet and a chain, I put the money in my wallet and chained the wallet to my pants.
I wasn't going to risk getting my wallet stolen by some hitchhiker.
I also packed my wall charger for my ipod in the bag. I could charge my bag when I work. I looked at the clock and saw it was 2 in the morning. I laid back in my bed, wincing slightly from the forming bruises.
I once again fell into a restless sleep.
I ran down the street, maybe I would save her this time. I turned down the familiar street, I ran even faster when I heard that familiar strangled scream that has been haunting me for years.
There was a growl behind me, like it came from a wolf. I didn't turn around, I just continued running. Once I turned into the alley. I wish I hadn't.
There instead of my mom lying in her own puddle of blood and a group of gang members laughing menacingly around her. It was Edward lying in the blood, his head ripped off. A group of Indians surrounding him. All with short croppy black hair and a tattoo on their arm.
They all pushed past me. One stopped right in front of me "not so special now is he" he sneered before following his friends. I ran to him "EDWARD" I sobbed, shaking him. He started fading, a bright light growing brighter and brighter as he disappeared.
"EDWARD" I screamed. My hands fell to the ground as he disappeared and the light engulfed me.
I shot up in my bed. Drenched in sweat, panting, my heart racing, and tears rolling down my cheeks. I sat there for a few minutes till the tears stopped and my heartbeat calmed. I shook my head, standing up I walked out of my room to the shower.
Not caring if Charlie beat me again. Today would be the last day he did that. Today I was going to jump from the tower and run. I started to wonder… where would I shower? I sighed, I guess I'll just shower at school or something.
Once I dried myself off I brushed my hair and got dressed. I climbed out my window and got on my motorcycle. Driving to the music store I thought about the questions they may ask. I pulled into the parking lot, I walked in.
Not sure where to head I stood at the desk where you would pay for your stuff. I stood there for a few minutes before a old lady finally noticed me. She walked behind the cash register with a big smile plastered on her face, it was a genuine one.
"what can I do for you missy?" she asked, her voice was soft yet still crackled slightly from her age. "um I was wondering if you had any available jobs?" her eyes brightened and she clapped her hands. "why yes I do! I was hoping someone would ask"
I smiled "great so when can I start?" she paused for a second "tomorrow how 'bout at 10" I nodded my head. "ok see you tomorrow!" I said as I turned around, waving.
I drove back to Charlie's house and climbed through the window, grabbing my bag. I finally left. When I got to the park I started to look for the trail, I soon found the path and started to walk down it.
When I got to the shack I was surprised to see the light on in it. I walked quietly to the window and peered through. I chewed my lip when I saw Edward was in there. Listening to his ipod. Somehow I already knew what he was listening to.
Whiskey lullaby.
He turned to look out the window, I don't know if he felt me staring or he just looked out the window. His eyes still had that pained look in them, I felt the bile raise in my throat. I pushed it down and opened the door, I flinched when it creaked loudly.
I stood in the corner, waiting for him to make the first move. When he didn't move I knew the ball was still in my court. I sat in front of him, about a foot away. He unplugged his earplugs and turned the volume on full blast.
I sat there listening to the sad song that was bound to come. When you're gone by Avril Lavigne came on.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I'd cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things you do
When you walk away I count the steps you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing with you
And when you're gone
The face I've come to known is missing to
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we are, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breath I need to feel you hear with me, yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing to
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you
I looked up at him, he was staring straight at me with his sad eyes. I just wish I could make it go away, like when you're little. You're mom would kiss you boo-boo and make it all ok.
I looked down at my shoes when his stare became to much. "do you live here?" I asked quietly. "I come here when it comes to be to much" I nodded. "why are you here" it wasn't rude or mean, it was just curiosity getting the better of him.
"I ran away" I whispered. I looked up to meet his gaze "why'd you come here?" I plucked at a piece of invisible lint on my shirt. He sighed when I shrugged. "you could have gone anywhere else yet you came here"
I looked up and glared at him "do you want me to go somewhere else?" I hissed. He flinched "no-no I was just wondering" he tried to correct himself. I watched him warily. "you're the only one who would understand"
"who said I would understand. Just because I lost my parents I'm no someone who helps with charity cases" he said angrily "I'm not some charity case" I spat the word out. "so I am then" he questioned, venom leaking through his voice.
"I never said you were!" I screeched. He huffed, clearly done with this. "why'd you run away" I glared at him "cause I was tired of being abused" I spat. He looked up at me. "you were abused" it was more of a statement then a question.
He sneered "where's the proof" I yanked my shirt up roughly, proudly showing the bruises Charlie had given me last night. He stared at them with wide eyes "yeah that's right fucker, I was abused" I sneered. "I'm staying here cause I'm not going back" he didn't say anything but just laid down next to me.
I scooted over as much as my tense body and this small shack would let me. this is your new life, have fun. the little voice in my head said as I fell asleep.
I hope this is better…. I'm trying to get on a schedule of updating I will update every 2 or 3 days hopefully. I also decided everyday I would put a few story recommendations so here are 2.
Isle of dreams by savannavansmutsmut
Boys over flowers by MissSugarQuill