This is to Missing by Evanescence. (You probably guessed that I like them, as I use them a lot in Silken Rose too!) Thanks for all your support.
We rode in silence and I stared out of the window at the dark sky. The guardians drove swiftly, hoping to get us out of danger as soon as possible. When we drove through the court gates, there was nobody there. It was usually packed at this time of day, but not now. I ran straight to my room, breaking down as soon as I got in. I sat back on the bed and wailed, banging the walls. I felt the pain flare up at the side of my hand and it distracted me from my emotions. I banged and banged, hoping that Rose would here me next door. But, of course not, she was missing now.
I cried for what seemed like forever until I realised that I had a duty to do. Rose would be strong and get on with it. She'd done it before with Dimitri. Rose, Rose. The wonderful best friend. The best guardian ever. I couldn't believe that I'd missed out on saving her. She'd sacrificed her life for me and I couldn't do anything about it. I rearranged my hair so that it didn't look like I'd almost died and washed my face. I didn't bother with make-up or pretty dresses. I walked down to the main Court in just my T-shirts and jeans.
They were expecting me, but not really me. I guess they were expecting order, but there was none of that here. As I walked in the room, hiccupping as I tried to maintain a Queenly stroll, there was a hushed silence.
I stepped up to the throne, hyperventilating as I saw where Rose would usually have been standing beside me. I could just see her helping me in my worst political moments, standing in her black-and-white guardian attire, squeezing my hand and giving me an encouraging smile, even though the whole of the Moroi Court was shouting at me. God, I missed her so much. I didn't know how I would go on...
No. Don't think like that. Stay calm. For the people. "A great sacrifice has been made," I told them. "The Strigoi attacked Lehigh. There must've been at least fifty of them." A shocked gasp rippled through the audience. "I was the only survivor." As I stared out at the solemn faces, I knew that this was going to be awful. Family of the students who had lived there, friends of the guardians who had worked there. "There will be a mass funeral for those that we have lost. They will be greatly missed."
I stepped back and the moment was surreal. There was so much emotion in the room, yet nobody spoke. Their eyes wide, the faces even paler than usual at the bombshell that I'd just unleashed. They gaped at me and I swallowed. Never, in any of my dreams, had I expected this. Never at all. I never thought that anything like this could happen. Rose, Christian, Dimitri, all those guardians and friends. All missing. All sacrificed, mainly to save me. It was awful. I couldn't cope with being the cause of so many deaths.
"This session is over," I said and started walking glumly back to my room. I was never going to get over this. I really wasn't.