What Have I Done?

Chapter 5

Laurent assured us he would not harm Bella. James on the other hand seemed ticked.

Laurent wanted to learn more about our ways so he came back with us to our house. James and Victoria on the other hand slipped away. I had an idea where they were going. After Bella most likely. I mentioned it to Carlisle. He told me they were Laurent's fears as well.

We waited a while before Ed, Bella, Emmet, and Alice came back.

"He is tracking us" Ed announced.

"I was afraid of that!" Laurent said his face sullen. He went on to explain how when James gets started tracking, there was no way to stop him.

"We will stop him!" Emmet promised. I knew what he was promising. It wouldn't be easy. Kill James. None of us batted an eye at it. We have all done our share of killing in the past. Even myself. I didn't like thinking about it though.

"You can't bring him down, I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years." Laurent said gravely.

Carlisle looked at him. "I am afraid you are going to choose!"

Laurent told us he was interested in our way of life, but like the coward he was, he didn't want to face James. He left claiming to be going up to Tanya's coven.

Ed began telling us the plan. Alice and Jasper would take Bella down to Phoenix while the rest of us would lead him away into a trap.

Ed turned to Rosie asking her to change clothing with Bella.

She bluntly refused. Even refusing Emmet's loving arm.

I was sure Ed's temper would flare up. Instead he just asked Esme. She replied yes. She picked up Bella racing to another room.

"Little Tabitha!" Ed addressed me. "See if you can fit anything in Bella's trunk!"

I saluted him in joke to lighten the mood then ran into the other room.

I was apprehensive. I was only Four feet Eleven inches tall. I was really short even for my age. I ran into my room looking through her clothes for something I could fit. I grabbed the first shirt I saw. Good thing she was skinny and only five foot four. I was sure Alice would have thanked me. It wasn't the prettiest thing in the world It was puke green and polyester. The sleeves were to long. I put on her shoes and I tried some sweat pants, 4'11" verses 5'4" make a big difference, so I rolled it up. I smelled enough like her.

Carlisle smiled at me while Emmet rolled with laughter at my stature in the clothing. I punched his arm in joke and looked at Esme who had also changed clothing. We all said goodbye to Alice, Jasper, and Bella. Ed kissed Bella passionately. I looked down so as to give privacy. Alice told us that Victoria would follow Esme and Rosie in Bella's truck and James would follow, Carlisle, Emmet, Ed and I. I wasn't that worried. Bella was freaked.

We ran through the forest. I rubbed everything I could find with Bella's clothing. We just kept running. Carlisle told us were leading James north. I didn't care, as long as he was no where near Bella. We were getting near to Vancouver.

I was running behind the others when I tripped on Bella's pants which had come undone. For the first time in years, I fell face first into the dirt. I got up pulled up my pants and caught up with the others. After a few minutes of running Ed stopped us. He looked over at me with alarm. "Did you trip?"

"Yeah, on Bella's pants."

"He caught your sent, he knows what we are doing. He is now out of my thought range." We ran back while Ed called the others.

I sat on the plane. Hiding my emotions. I knew Ed was hearing me. I didn't care, it was all my fault. It always was, no wonder they didn't want me around. To just fall in love and leave them alone was what they wanted. My brother was finally happy and I had ruined it. It may feel like a family, but I never felt like I belonged. Like I was different. I hated being what I was. It tortured me. I just had to fall, James was going after Bella in Phoenix now and it was my fault. I told myself as soon as we rescued Bella, I would run away. They wouldn't stop me. If I wished it, I could go anywhere I wanted. We were a family of free choices. I didn't know where I would go, but I would leave. I wouldn't mess up anything for my family ever again.

Emmet came over to the row of seats that Carlisle and I had taken, after I had seen him talk with Ed. He asked Carlisle if he could trade seats with him. Carlisle got up and went over beside Ed. Emmet sat down. I just stared out the window. Keeping my train of thought going.

""Hey Tabs," Emmet looked at me. "Edward said you were blaming yourself."

I kept looking out the window. "Of course he told you that!"

"He wanted me to tell you he doesn't blame you!" He told me without facial expression.

"Well tell him to stay out of my mind!" I told Emmet.

"Well I came here to tell you to not blame yourself, or run away!"

I looked at him, acting like I didn't care. He quickly slammed his hand on the arm handle bending it a little. The people in front of us jumped. "Tabs, we all love you." He looked upset. "Just, if your going to run away, know that it won't be the same without our first baseman."

I looked at him, then at the broken arm rest. " You are going to have to pay for that!" I laughed. Then calmed myself down.

"Everything is going to be fine!" He smiled hugging me around the neck.

I hoped he was right.

We got off the plane at Phoenix. I hoped Bella was ok. The first thing we noticed when we got off the plane, was no Bella.

"She is gone," Jasper said frantically at us. "I took her to the restroom and she disappeared." His emotions were spreading, fear.

Alice ran to us shaking. She told us James had Bella at a Ballet studio. Ed ran faster than I thought he ever could. The rest of us were fast, but not fast enough. Ed reached the place before we could help more. When we arrived, he was fighting James.

On the other side of the room lay Bella. She was throbbing in pain. Her blood smelled amazing. I held my breath. I knew only Carlisle could help her. The rest of us had no strength in that department. I ran over with Emmet and Jasper to try and help to take James down. He tried to get away, but we soon cornered him. While they fought with him they yelled at me to start up a fire. I nodded pulling up floor boards and putting them in a pile. I took my lighter trying to light them but it wasn't fast enough. I needed something to catch the wood on fire faster. I ran into a closet pulling out tutus and fliers. I laid the tutus on top of the floor boards. I took out my lighter and lit a tutu. I laughed at how the pink and black ribbons on the sides lit into flame. I dropped it in before I could catch fire. I got a great fire going it was growing by the second. I ran over to the others. Alice had just ripped James' head off. We each took different pieces of him and threw them in the fire. Alice ran over to the others trying to help Bella. I looked over to them. Carlisle and Ed seemed like they were fighting. Ed then leaned over Bella taking her hand and put it to his mouth. What was he doing?

I had done my job too well with the fire. The room was about to catch, with us in it. We tried to control the fire until we could leave. I looked behind me to see Bella's struggling stop. Ed, had let her hand go and held her in his arms.

She looked into his eyes. "Edward." was the only word to come from her mouth. We all ran from the room gasping.

The window smashed as Alice hit it with her arm. She laughed uncontrollably.

"I think you are having too much fun with this!" I told her as she sat beside me.

"It is fun." She looked at me with an ear to ear smile. "I am just glad Ed had an alibi that involved smashing windows." She laughed then looked at me. "Tabitha, you aren't a problem."

I looked at her. "What?"

"I saw you running away, it changed, but I don't want you thinking you are a problem."

I told her my feelings. How I thought no one wanted me and that was why they wanted me to fall in love. How I was always lonely and that I was good for nothing. She looked at me like I had nine heads and a foot for an eye.

"Taby, we don't want you gone, we want you happy. What else is family for? If falling in love, in the future, makes you happy, then so be it!" She paused for a moment.

"I am to young to fall in love!"

"Your seventy six, Tabitha!"

I rolled my eyes. "I was changed too young. I am stuck at fourteen, the age of stupid."

She laughed. "Just because your physical age is fourteen, it doesn't mean you have to act like you are fourteen. So what the heck, take a college course online, drive your car secretly around town, go to a slumber party, fall in love. If you let yourself. Still be who you want to be!" She looked into my eyes with that look of complete care. She stood up and reached out her hand. "Come on, It is getting to be morning, the beginning of a new day. Bella should be waking up soon!"

I took her hand smiling. I didn't have to be conformed to the world. I wasn't already, being a veggie vampire is not the normal vampire way of life. May as well be who I really want to be. I have time. More time than I need. I could accept love, maybe. I will cross that bridge when I reach it.