Again firstly, and most obviously, I don't own any rights to the show or its characters.
This is the follow up to Peter's POV, this time told from Olivia's. I had originally posted this last year as a separate story, but thought that it might flow better added as a second chapter, plus it's easier to find. Once again this is set during 'Jacksonville', and when I wrote it I hadn't seen beyond the episode 'Peter', so all thoughts are my interpretation, and quotes are directly from the show. I had more trouble writing from Olivia's POV for some reason, and wasn't entirely sure if it flowed as well as it could, but if anyone is still reading this, I'd love to get your feedback.
Any mistakes are my own as this has not been beta-ed. If you love it or hate it, let me know.
Reflection ~ Olivia's POV
It should have worked. It always had in the past. Whenever they had hit a dead end, there was always a test or drug induced state that she would subject herself to, in order for them to move forward. But this wasn't like the last time, or the time before, this was where it all began. The Cortexiphan trails. The ones she had no memory of, and in all honesty the ones she didn't want to remember, especially after what she had learnt about them so far. But she had given in to Walter and his tests, and returned to Jacksonville and the drug that had started it all. Peter had been against the idea from the start, but then again he usually was, anything that involved her placing her life in the hands of Walter Bishop was likely to be met with resistance. But given the severity of the situation, she had found herself strapped to a chair with needles in her arms.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" She knew of Peter's reluctance to help, because of the affect it would have on her, but she was grateful he had chosen to stay, as he always would. And she felt safer with him there, she was all about doing what was needed for the job, but it was reassuring to have him there, ready to stop Walter if it ever came to it.
"When you're under, the drugs will generate an obstacle. I can't tell you what it will be, it will be uniquely yours."
She had no idea what to expect, even with Walter's step by step guide, but when she asked that scared little girl her name, she found her answer. "Olive." The obstacle had been her younger self, the one Walter had later watched on the old video of his heyday. The girl that had been so scared, that she had started a fire with her mind just to protect herself. Olive was the scared little girl she had to find within if they were to have any chance of stopping the death of many.
She had walked the corridors of the day care centre, her earlier conversation with Peter springing to mind. "I have a freakishly good memory, I remember everything. But this, there is just nothing that is familiar." After everything she had gone through, she still sought that familiarity, something that would jog her memory. Something that could help her connect to the child she once was. As she passed door after door, one eventually caught her attention. Its small safety glass window was cracked, and as she approached, for a fleeting moment she could smell smoke. Pushing open the door she searched for a light switch, flipping it on she found herself in the room from Walter's video. Her room. Just like in the video the room was charred apart from one corner, the one Olive had been cowering in. Trying to reconnect with the young child she mimicked her actions, sliding down the wall to a crouch. She was only alone with her thoughts for a few seconds, yet all she could think about was how Walter and William Bell could have subjected children to these experiments? She heard his footsteps, and Peter stopped in the doorway. She wondered if Walter had ever experimented on his own son, and if he did how he could live with himself? Defenceless children they didn't know was bad enough, but to do it to your own son, to betray Peter, his own father, a man he trusted and looked up to was just as bad in her books. Peter took in their surroundings, shock written across his face, at what she assumed he could only have imagined had happened in this room at the hands of his father. She saw the effect Walter's work had had on Peter, and how hard he had worked to try and fix what they had broken. He seemed to take the blame upon himself. Whether it was because he believed Walter was in no state to take responsibility for his actions or not, Olivia wasn't sure. All she knew was that Peter was a good man.
"Hey." He'd said in greeting, and as he gazed around the room, he looked almost afraid to ask his next question. "Is this part of Walter's test?" She knew it hurt him to believe that his father had caused her this pain, but honestly she was hurting far too much to comfort him, all she could muster was a small shrug. She could tell he was worried about her, and as he asked her "are you all right?" for the first time in a long time, she answered truthfully, because at this point what did she have to lose?
"No" she replied shaking her head. She was far from all right, emotions were what made us human, and Walter and Bell had taken that from her, she felt lost, without meaning, numb. "I'm not afraid of anything anymore." A life without fear, some would say would be a good thing. Fear was a weakness, something that could easily break you. But Olivia was one to go by gut instincts, and now she realised, without fear she could not truly understand the very things they were fighting. And if she couldn't understand it, how could she ever come to stop it?
Walter had told her they were out of time, and now she stood in the corridor waiting for the answer to arrive, as if from thin air. But for the first time she found herself unable to find a solution. It was her job to figure these things out and here she was close to tears. She needed to talk to someone, the only person she could let her guard down around. She walked to the doorway where she could see him working away. Even Peter hadn't given up yet, but here she was lost with not a clue how to fix things.
"Hey." He looked up briefly from what he was doing, and then back to the computer as he continued to push buttons. He could have been launching a space shuttle for all she knew, and it dawned upon her how much of an asset Peter was to the team, and to her. He was always there for her, he understood her need to right the wrongs, and she was sure that a small part of him was continuing their efforts, however failing, because of her. Or so she liked to think.
"I figured if I could shut down all the non-essential functions, I can make these things run faster." So that's what he was doing. If she could she would have smiled, despite everything he hadn't given up. But self-realisation had her doubting everything, and before she could stop herself, she was letting go of that pent up failure.
"It's too late...I failed...I failed and I'm supposed to be the one who can stop things like this." She needed him, needed reassurance that things would be okay, even if it was a lie, she just needed to get passed this feeling. He left the desk, approaching her with a smile of disbelief and a shake of his head. She didn't know what he was going to say, she just hoped it helped. But there was something in the way he looked at her, that made her aware of their sudden proximity.
"I've never met anyone, who can do the things you do." It was heartfelt and genuine, and as he placed his hand against her cheek, she found her heart rate accelerated, she was nervous. They were out of time, somewhere in the city a building and its occupants were about to disappear, but at that moment, as Peter looked her in the eye, so intensely, for a moment that feeling was replaced.
"Peter...I'm scared." But this time she was scared for a completely different reason, a reason that up until now had never been so out in the open. As if sensing this he replied, "Don't be." As he leaned in she followed, so long she had gone without that kind of contact, and now she was afraid, of what could happen or what wouldn't happen if she pulled away now.
It was then, with her heart pounding in her chest that she realised what she had said. Stopping, realisation evident in her features, Peter questioned her. "What?" It was like a weight had been lifted and she could finally see what had been hiding.
"Peter, I'm scared." She couldn't waste a second, running to the roof she searched for the building. She felt a pang on guilt as she thought of Peter, left by himself when it was obvious to both of them what was about to happen. She would talk to him later, but first she had people to save. As she scanned the city, Walter's words echoed in her mind. "Someone once described it as a glimmer."
Disaster averted. But this one was a little too close for comfort, and Olivia hoped that it would never come that close to the wire again. She had scanned the city and at first didn't believe what was before her, one building surrounded by many had taken on that glimmer, and she had followed that light like a beacon. She had held on for dear life as the hotel had shaken and disappeared from sight, the whole time telling herself, not today. Today would not be the day she died, there were so many things left up in the air, so many answers she needed, and not just ones connected to the Fringe Division. Something had happened between her and Peter, and she promised herself, if she made it out of this one she would talk with him, or at least go for drinks. And that's what had led to this moment, in which she was actually nervous about what she was wearing. She had called Peter earlier and suggested some post case drinks, after the days they had had both could use it. She did, however, mention that it would just be the two of them, after her run in with Walter it seemed logical that she wasn't ready to trust him that easily again, and Peter saw no problem with it. So why was she so nervous? She had decided on causal black, and as she pulled her ponytail from inside her jacket she stopped in the mirror. She was always so serious at work, including her appearance, tonight she wanted to let go, and a part of her wanted Peter to see this other side of her. The relaxed side, the fun side. Making her decision, she pulled the band from her hair, shaking it loose, smiling at the thought of what tonight could bring.
She stood nervously outside of his door, she had been in the car for over five minutes, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door, and now she was here she took a deep breath. She raised her hand and knocked, smiling as she heard Peter's voice from inside. She assumed he was talking to Walter, probably warning him to be on his best behaviour. The door opened and she was cast into the artificial light of the hallway. "Hey." He said as he opened the door, and she replied in kind. It took a while for her eyes to adjust to the brightness and Peter stepped back to allow her in.
"Come on in." She smiled as he closed the door behind her. But suddenly something was wrong; Walter's experiment had backfired, because she could think of no other explanation for what she saw. Peter was glimmering. It took all her efforts to hold back the tears that were fighting their way to the surface, something had gone horribly wrong, because there was no way Peter was from the other side. This was their Peter, her Peter, she would have known if they had somehow switched, she knew him. But then her earlier thoughts came flooding back, had Walter ever experimented on Peter? She realised that Peter had been talking and she hadn't been listening, she barely heard Walter call her name, and just managed to work out that Peter had gone upstairs for his coat. This was too much, surely Walter could fix this, and then she and Peter could go for drinks and everything could go back to the way it had been just moments before, when all she had to worry about was whether or not Peter would kiss her by the end of the night.
Now Walter stood before her, she made no move to hide the fact that she was close to tears, and she could only hope that what he would tell her was not the very thing she had been thinking.
"Olivia. Please don't tell him." And at that moment the world came crashing down around her.