It had taken a lot of hard work, but Ziva had finally managed to lose all the extra weight she'd gained during her pregnancy. At first Tony wanted to protest all the time she spent working out, but then he realized it gave her something to focus on other than Zarah's absence, so he joined her, and together they put all their grief and sadness into their exercise routines, enjoying the closeness and also reaping benefits from all their extra physical exertion.
When Ziva looked in the mirror after three and a half months, she felt good about her body, despite the marks that made her unsure whether she'd ever wear a bikini again. And so, for the first time in months, she initiated intimacy with her husband. Tony was glad to see her confidence coming back, and took her up on her offer with out hesitation. It was one of their first times together not tinged with the sadness of their loss. They had sex because they wanted to, and not because they needed comfort or an outlet for their sorrow.
After that they started going out again, spending time with their friends, and realizing that just because they didn't have Zarah didn't mean life had stopped. They still had people around them who loved them, and they had each other. It became a reason to start smiling.
One day Tony heard Ziva laugh, and wanted to hug her. He thought it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard, next to his daughter's first and last cry. He loved the music in Ziva's laughter and appreciated it even more now, because there had been so many dark days when he thought he'd never see her happy again.
Slowly, oh so slowly, joy crept back into Ziva's eyes, the familiar teasing spark Tony loved, and with it his own heart began to feel a little bit lighter. At four months they were flirting again, filling the bullpen with the banter everyone had missed and no one dared to complain about it now.
Five months after Zarah's death, McGee finally proposed to Abby, and they were married in a small ceremony only three weeks later. Seven months almost to the day that they'd lost their daughter, Tony came home from a guy's night with McGee to find Ziva sitting at the table, holding a small white stick in her hands.
He stopped dead, eyes widening. "Zi?" he asked hoarsely.
She looked up at him, conflicting emotions warring in her gaze. "I am eight weeks," she said softly.
Not sure what the appropriate reaction was less than a year after their first pregnancy ended in tragedy, Tony swallowed. "You okay?"
Ziva met his eyes and smiled, a rare joy lighting the depths of her gaze. "I am happy Tony. For so long I could not even imagine being pregnant again, it would remind me too much of Zarah. But now..." she shrugged, "I have wanted a child with you since the very beginning." She bit her lip. "Are you okay?"
Tony helped her up and Ziva trailed her fingers down his cheek, searching his gaze. He wrapped his arms carefully around her slender form and Ziva recognized the gentleness he had shown when she was pregnant last time. "I'm thrilled Zi," he choked out. Pulling back, he kissed her tenderly, the love in his face sending tears flowing down Ziva's cheeks. Then he used one of the cheesy scenes from his movies and picked her up, swinging her around once. "We're going to have a baby."
Ziva's smile grew and she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him fiercely. "Thank you Tony."
"Are you kidding?" Tony asked, press his lips to the back of her hand. "Thank you Ziva. For sticking by me even after what happened with Zarah." It wasn't easy, but they were learning to say her name more, instead of pretending they weren't thinking it often.
She kissed him slowly. "I love you Tony," and her eyes reflected the emotion. "There is nowhere else I would rather be."
NCIS
From that second on they treasured every second of her pregnancy, knowing all too well what it was like for those to be the only memories they had of their child. The first time Ziva felt the baby move, the tears started again, and so many little milestones took them back to their first pregnancy. They had to keep reminding each other that they were not trying to replace Zarah, nor were they forgetting her or loving her less because they had tried again. They were just living, even if it was without her.
They kept the pregnancy to themselves for as long as they could, not up for another joyful announcement just yet. Ziva carried this baby more inside, and she was barely showing by the time she went for her five month ultrasound. After that it was time for the news to come out, and what the doctor told them had the team coming over a week later to paint the guest bedroom a bright blue like the ocean.
Gibbs and McGee took apart the crib in Zarah's room and moved it down the hall to reassemble it in the new nursery. The rocking chair followed and when the paint dried and the smell wasn't so potent, Ziva sat in the room a long time, looking at the walls and rubbing her hand slowly over her expanding stomach.
Ziva went on maternity leave at thirty-three weeks, and woke Tony up early in the morning six weeks later when she couldn't hide the contractions any longer. Her labour was much shorter this time, and less than seven hours after she'd felt the first pain, their son was born.
Tony winced when Ziva grasped his hand tightly, but he understood, and they both held their breath as the doctor cleared the baby's nose and mouth and Samuel Isaac took his first breath. But they needn't have worried. He was Tony's son through and through, and screamed his little head off as he protested his new environment, the cleaning and quick tests the doctors did, and being swaddled tightly to get warm. Samuel didn't settle down until Ziva had him in her arms and guided his wide open mouth to her breast.
The surprise at the instant connection she felt to her son showed on her face, and when he started nursing, his little cheeks and chin moving as he sucked greedily and swallowed, tears poured down Ziva's face. This was what she had missed with Zarah, what her breasts had ached for when they were so full and she had no baby to nourish. Tony wiped them all away, watching the whole process in fascination, unable to take his eyes off their son.
When Ziva was smiling again and touching Samuel gently all over, like she was making sure he was really real and here with them, Tony leaned over and kissed her temple. "You did great sweetheart. I can't believe we have a son." He had to clear his throat before finishing. "Thank you for making me a dad again," he whispered.
Ziva's eyes watered as she tore her gaze from the baby long enough to look at her husband. "He is perfect."
Tony chuckled and rubbed his son's tummy. "You hear that Sam? Your mom is already biased. Then again," he grinned, meeting his wife's gaze, "I can't argue with her. You are one amazing kid." He kissed the little boy's head and counted tiny fingers and toes while Samuel nursed. Happiness filled the small hospital room and Tony and Ziva kissed, sharing in the joy of this new life they had created out of their love.
NCIS
Not quite three years after Samuel's birth, his little sister, Taylin Ariana DiNozzo, was born, and Sam's bright green eyes opened wide with awe when his father lifted him onto Ziva's hospital bed. He gently patted her cheek with one hand, having been warned over and over by his parents to be gentle.
"Hi Taya, I Sam." He looked up at Ziva. "Mommy, she little."
Ziva smiled down at both her children. "Yes she is Samuel."
The little boy regarded his baby sister seriously, then his eyes lit up. "Can she play hide and seek?"
Tony ruffled Sam's dark curls and chuckled. "Not yet Sport, but someday she will, when she's as big as you."
"I'm a big boy," he informed the occupants of the room, squirming to get down off the high bed. Tony automatically held out a hand in case his son slipped, but he made it safely to the ground and ran to the door where the team stood watching the newly expanded family. "Grampa Gibbs, that's my sister," Samuel pointed towards the pink bundle in Ziva's arms.
Gibbs scooped up the young boy. "That's right Samuel, you're a big brother now. You get to help Mommy and Daddy with Taylin."
"I show her all my toys at home," he promised.
"Good man," Gibbs smiled, hugging the little boy he loved as much as if Samuel were his flesh and blood grandson.
Ziva watched everything going on with joy filling her. Four years ago her heart had been broken into a thousand tiny pieces when Zarah died and her arms were left empty. Now her heart was whole again, and her arms and her life filled with her loving husband and beautiful children, and the brief memories of heaven's youngest angel. She leaned into her husband and smiled. Right here in this room was everything she'd ever wanted.