Raising Kids
So this chapter is about PUBERTY! LOL! This is what happens when we get older kiddies! Poor Matthew and Ivan!
Matthew: Why do I have to be the first to know? God I feel like such a house wife…
Me: Because you are
Matthew: WHAT!
Ivan & Me: *giggles*
Matthew: Crazy Russians…
Me: Technically American…whatever! Don't worry writing this chapter is as awkward for me as you Matvey!
Matthew: …like I said before…crazy Russians
Chapter Two
It's been three months since Jamie and Unity moved in, not much happened except Jamie's eight birthday. Long story short the family and family friends came over and celebrated his birthday. He and Alfred had a sword fight three hours straight since Alfred hated losing, especially to eight year olds. Unity was opening up more and they learned that she was a great shoulder to cry on. Life seems easy for Ivan and Matthew so far, but the two forgot that Unity was already in her double digits, and when kids are in their early double digits, something happens, it's called puberty.
Ivan was at work this day, and lucky for Matthew he was the one who was making dinner and laundry. The kids did their share of chores. Matthew had started the load half an hour before Unity would come home from middle school (junior high/secondary school) and he found a little surprise.
"Oh mon dieu!" Matthew whispered. His daughter just got her first period…it is her first right? It has to be her first. Matthew wished that there was another girl here with him, because he knew that he and Ivan would have to talk about this tonight. Let's hope Tide works on this he thought.
After dinner Jamie went to watch some cartoons in the living room since his Canadian papa told him to because he had to speak to his папа about something. The two drank vodka (Ivan) and apple cider (Matthew).
"Is there something you would like to speak to me about Matvey?" Ivan asked him.
"Yes…you see, um… well…our daughter, just met her m-m-monthly f-friend…" Ivan's husband choked out. There was a silence between the two and Ivan stopped drinking his vodka for a moment.
"So Unity hit puberty да?" Ivan spoke. Matthew nodded. "Then we must talk to her about it да?". Once again his husband nodded. Husband and husband went upstairs and knocked on Unity's bedroom.
"Who is it?" Unity asked.
"Your fathers" Matthew responded.
"Come in". Both of them entered her bedroom and found her sitting on the floor in front of her bed.
"Listen, дочь you are getting older да. Things are going to happen to you, that don't really make sense да." Ivan started.
"Папа this isn't the first time I've gotten my monthly friend. There aren't any…you know feminine products in this house… oh and I already had this talk before. Man you guys are lucky! You should have seen your faces, especially Papa's! He was blushing the whole time!" Unity told them. Was Matthew blushing?
"H-h-how is t-this a l-laughing m-m-matter?" Matthew stuttered out.
"Oh Matvey, your face is adorable when you blush да." Ivan told his lover embracing him in a tight grip. Unity grinned. But her grin faded.
"Hey…um can you guys go buy some…feminine napkins and tampons…" Unity asked her fathers. Ivan looked at Matthew hoping he'd be the daring one to go into the local pharmacy. Matthew sighed and went to grab his coat.
Matthew was in the pharmacy looking for the feminine hygiene section. Yes! Matthew thought once he found it. But his luck soon disappeared when he bumped into someone…who smelt like fancy cologne.
"Ah Mathieu, I didn't think I'd run into you here." His father Francis said.
"Papa what are you doing here?" Matthew asked him.
"You know I always come here on Tuesdays to make sure all the girls out of Alfred's league stay away from him before he bugs them…and because I do see pretty women here…oh don't tell Arthur the second part! Now what are you doing here?"
"I had to pick up something…" Matthew spoke rubbing the back of his neck.
"In the feminine hygiene section…? You know that they don't sell sex toys here my boy." Francis replied.
"Papa why would you think I buy those things…?"
"I've seen that pipe in Ivan's closet before…" Francis stated simply. Matthew just sighed and shook his head.
"I'm only buying something for Unity Papa" Matthew told Francis.
"Oh, so the young one is getting older, belle fille sexy devenir bonté gracieuse! Yay! Soon she will fall for me!" said Francis.
"Papa she's your granddaughter! What about Arthur?"
"Oh Mathieu, she's not blood related, besides Arthur wouldn't mind!"
"Oh bloody hell I would!" a shouting coming from Francis' cell phone said. Turns out Francis accidentally called Arthur.
"Oh I see Arthur has some interest in me! So should I ask Mathieu to buy a sex toy for us?"
"I'm not buying sex toys!" Matthew yelled at his father.
Ha poor Matthew. Oh man I love writing Francis' character. Best part is I'm right next to my mom!
Matthew: Why was I raised by a pervert…?
Me: Because everyone needs a sexy French man in their lives
Matthew:…..
Francis: Oh la la the writer likes me? *raises eyebrow*
Me: No not you…you're a perverted man whore…
Translations:
Oh mon dieu- Oh my god (French)
Папа- Dad/Daddy/Papa (Russian)
да- Yes (Russian)
Papa- Dad (French)
дочь- Daughter (Russian)
belle fille sexy devenir bonté gracieuse- beautiful girl becoming sexy goodness gracious (French)