Hello! I had a sinus infection! Why am I using exclamation points? I do not know…
Matthew: Last chapter had no plot what so ever did it?
Me: ^^ Nope! None whatsoever!
Matthew: Will there be plot this chapter?
Me: Probably not…unless you want the readers seeing you have wet dreams about Ivan
Matthew:…
Me: Yes…I was writing you guys as teenagers before when my computer decided to break on me again…but now that that's done (and I don't have to write it) all hope is lost for a horny young Matthew!
Matthew: You sound like Francis…
Francis: Oh honhonhonhonhon!
Me: Here's Francey! (In the Here's Johnny thing from The Shining or whatever…)
Matthew:…
Ivan: Hello readers! How have things been going?
Me: Smexy Russ- I mean Ivan you're late *god he's so hot*
Ivan: Did you just call me hot again?
Me: …..No….
Ivan: SEXUAL HARRASSMENT! AGAIN! But I'll let it slide for now…
Me: Yay! Okay, so Darya is not an OC! It's Kievan Rus! You know…ancient(ish) Ukraine, Russia and Belarus…um it's the countries mother…screw it research. Anyway I will start writing now instead of writing a SUPER long(er) author's note. Ta-ta!
Chapter Nine
(A/N: TIME SKIP! This is taking place in December, the story started in Spring time and now it is late winter a bit after Christmas, 'kay?)
"Toris, can you set the table?" Katyusha asked her "secret" boyfriend, well secret to her brother. Toris nodded and started setting the table. Today was Boris Braginski's birthday, and his niece's and nephew and their respective friends and/or families were helping set up for his surprise party. Katyusha's mother, Darya, was decorating her brother-in-law's living room with shiny metallic streamers and banners. Unfortunately as her children's lives progressed hers was getting closer to the ending. It's not like Darya was old or anything…but her back would act up every now and then. It was one of those times.
"Mama, would you like some help?" Ivan asked his mother when he came into his uncle's living room.
"Please Vanya." Darya spoke handing him some streamers. Ivan gladly took them and started hanging them. Darya smiled and relaxed at the peace and quiet going on. For once!
"YOU STUPID AMERICAN!" Darya's youngest child shouted. There goes the relaxation… Natalya dragged Alfred F. Jones into the room.
"Mama, Ivan, we have a problem." Natalya spoke. They turned and looked at her.
"What happened?" Ivan questioned his sister.
"This idiot decided to eat all the cake batter."
"YOU ATE THE CAKE BATTER!" Ivan screamed.
"Well Katyusha said I could lick the spoon!" Alfred defended. Why does my eldest sister have to be so kind and motherly all the time…damn it! Ivan thought to himself.
"That doesn't mean eat ALL of it!" Ivan shouted. He really wanted to throw this idiot off a building.
"There's still some left!"
"Yeah, enough to make a cupcake…" Natalya mumbled.
"That's it! Since there obviously isn't enough time to make more cake batter and have the cake finished before Boris gets home, we'll make him a cupcake!" Alfred decided.
"You know…that isn't a bad idea…" Darya responded.
"See your mom agrees!"
"Mama!" Natalya and Ivan shouted in unison.
"Vanya, Natasha…shut up, and go make your uncle a cupcake…well not you Vanya. You help me finish the décor. Come on! Move it!" Darya demanded. Her children groaned but listened. Alfred followed Natalya into the kitchen, much to her distress. Katyusha came out of the kitchen wearing a black and white checkered apron.
"Ivan, have you seen Matvey or the others?" she questioned her little brother.
"I think they got lost in the house…"
"Again?" she questioned, "Well they aren't reckless…oh wait…the kids are with them. I have a sudden urge to find them, but there are responsible adults there…well if Francis is counted responsible when he gropes somebody, but it's alright he's married to the one he's groping right?"
"Katya, you're babbling again." Darya spoke.
"And Arthur's not the only one he gropes. I've felt a persistent hand on my butt every now and then when I visit my in-laws…" Ivan blabbered out. Katyusha's face was priceless.
"What!"
"It's true. There's a reason why you and Natalya aren't allowed to sit next to Francis. He'd be feeling you guys up, and obviously since you don't have a mate to protect you yet, brother Ivan is here!" Ivan said proudly like a child. (A/N: Even though Ivan doesn't know about Toris, I think Katyusha can protect herself better than Toris can protect her… I mean she grew up with Ivan and Natalya, she has to have SOME fighting skills…)
"Okay Brother Ivan, now go be a good son and put the banner up. No not there! Over there! Ugh… men have no decorating sense what so ever. Put it on the wall to the left. No not your left my left!" Darya spoke trying to explain to her son where to put up the banner that read "Happy Birthday!" Ivan only muttered something in Russian under his breath, of course being cusses.
"What was that?" his mother asked sternly.
"That I love you and you are the best mother ever…" Ivan replied.
"That's what I thought I heard." Darya stated.
Arthur, Francis, Matthew, Unity and Jamie had been found and now everyone was hiding behind furniture, so let's review.
-Ivan and Matthew- behind the loveseat
-Alfred, Francis and Unity- in the hall way leading to the living room
-Arthur, Darya, Natalya- behind chairs
-Katyusha, Toris, and Jamie- behind the couch
The door was unlocked and heavy footsteps entered the home and the light switch went off. Everybody jumped up and out and yelled "Surprise!"
"Wow…I'm not really surprised…" Boris spoke.
"What! What do you mean you're NOT surprised!" Darya yelled at her brother-in-law.
"I saw Arthur's car across the street…and I saw your license plate Darya. MAMARUS1? (A/N: Sorry if anyone actually has this as a license plate…I just made it up right now…) I helped you choose it you know…" Anybody who was pissed that he wasn't surprised glared at the parents.
"Thank you though. It was very thoughtful. Besides, I have a feeling Katyusha made a cake, and you know I have a soft spot for her cooking." Boris went on and on about his niece's cooking while everyone who knew what Alfred did looked to the side.
"Yes Дядя, we know how you love Katya's cooking…" Ivan spoke.
"Can we just screw dinner and get onto dessert?" Boris questioned.
"Hmm, I've never done food before, but I could try…" Francis piped up.
"HE DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT BLOODY FROG!" Arthur shouted at his husband.
"No. Boris you are eating dinner, and if you aren't I will tie you up to a chair again and give you Viagra. I've done it twice; I'll do it a third time." Darya threatened.
"Mama, you've done that to him?" Natalya asked.
"Yes, when Katyusha was two and New Years of 2002." Darya spoke proudly.
"That year…our last New Year's in Russia." Ivan whispered. There was an awkward silence, due to the Russian families' quietness which then resulted in Arthur deciding it was time to eat.
"You know how we were speaking about New Years before?" Boris asked. They all nodded. "I spoke to the family." Ivan groaned. "Is something wrong?"
"Yes, they're OUR FAMILY!" Ivan spoke. Alfred's eyes widened.
"Wait…there's MORE of you?" Alfred questioned.
"Yes, what did you think you stupid American?" Natalya asked sarcastically. Alfred "died". (You all know the anime/manga dying thing right…?)
"What about our family Boris?" Katyusha asked her uncle.
"It's been decided that Ivan will be hosting the next New Year's." Boris stated calmly. Ivan started choking on his drink and Matthew started rubbing his arm and Ivan ended up squirting all of his drink on his dinner.
"Excuse me?" Ivan demanded.
"You heard me, you aren't going deaf boy."
"Why me? Why not you! I mean they called you!" he continued.
"Well I wasn't the one who made our family in Russia be on the call block list. There's a reason they don't call you Ivan."
"Who said it'd be my house? Why not Katyusha or Natalya- you guys suck for having apartments you know that right?" Ivan asked looking at his sisters when asking the last part. They grinned and high-fived each other. Ivan was out ruled by the power of sisterhood.
"Ivan, it's your house and that's final. They've been to your uncle's and my home, besides we don't want them at our places anymore!" Darya spoke.
"Of course. And what if I call them all and tell them not to come?" he questioned.
"That'd require talking to them you know." Boris spoke. DAMN IT!
"You guys suck you know that right?" Ivan asked his family. They all smiled and Boris stood up from his chair. Oh no… Ivan thought. He looked at his family for moral support but all the Russians were smiling maniacally as Boris stood behind his nephew. Matthew was confused and so was everyone else.
"Vanya! Let's go play outside!" Boris chirped like a child.
"HELL NO!" was the response.
"But I'm the birthday boy Vanya!" his uncle continued. Was Boris getting revenge on him for doing this to him when he was little? Probably. But what was somewhat unexpected (not really) was that Boris picked up his nephew and threw him over his shoulder. (Yes Boris IS taller and stronger than Ivan…scary right?)
"Put me down!" Ivan shouted.
"You got heavier than when you were younger." Boris grunted.
"That's what happens when you grow…" Ivan mumbled. Alfred who somehow "revived" himself was in shock at the sight in front of him, so was everyone who wasn't Darya, Katyusha, Natalya, or Toris. Boris started somewhat walking (considering there was a twenty something year old man added to his weight) outside.
"Wait just a second there Boris. You can't go outside with my son in the snow without me!" Darya chirped.
"MAMA!" Ivan whined.
"Oh shush Vanya! Come on Boris! Let's go relive childhood!" Darya yelled as they jogged outside the house. Why me? Ivan thought.
That's it for Chapter Nine! Hopefully it wasn't TOO short. Sorry for there not being enough FACE, OC, and Toris in this one. This just came randomly to me as writing. LOL Kievan Rus + General Winter= Attacking Ivan in the snow. I could picture my parents, friends, or me in the future doing this to someone. Dragging them or carrying them outside and tackling them and what not. So it kind of got fluffy there. In a few chapter you'll meet a bunch of OC's also known as the Braginski's and many more Russians attacking Ivan's humble of ode. Okay so Ivan's worried 'cause New Years is a BIG holiday in Russia, and Russians are generally party animals, trust me I know… and basically their just going to drink his 2 year supply of vodka. XDDDD
Translations:
Дядя- Uncle (Russian)