I can't believe I let this happen… My little Alfred. My one and only first child… He could have died. He could still be gone forever. If that happened, Mattie would hate me. Arthur would…

I can't even think about it.

My family would fall apart.

How could I let this happen?

The ambulance is here, and they try to ask me questions I can't answer.

"What happened?"

"Did you see when he fainted?"

"Does he have any sort of sickness?"

These stabbing voices, sharp as knives attack relentlessly, and I can't defend. I'm a terrible parent. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't see it. I don't know if he has any conditions. He hasn't shown any signs. Has he? I'm horrible. I haven't cried for my son, although I am scared and guilty and more than a little miserable.

I can feel Matthew's arms around my leg, I can feel his fright at these strange creatures who are invading our home and taking our Alfred away. I see him on the stretcher, with nurses and medics swarming around him.

I can't speak. My mouth is dry. The man in front of me continues to dither on. I stare ahead, because what else can I do?

In the distance, I hear a car braking quickly. I look towards it and see a man running towards me.

It's Arthur. Usually, there would be no one else I would rather see, but now I can't face him. I've done something unforgivable. I've let our boy hurt.

I want to make it all go away, I want to have a magic wand that will make it all better.

Arthur grabs my collar, and starts to yell. He is inches away from my face. I can't tell what he's saying. But he's angry. I knew he would be. He hates me now. I just know it. He won't love me, he'll leave me. He'll take our children and leave me alone.

He's still screaming at me, in desperate bursts of rage. I can't look at him. So I don't. I notice that Matthew has left my leg and has evacuated to the behind the rose bush. Even he can't stand me now. Arthur turns from me, loosening his fists, and eventually freeing me completely. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him approach Matthew.

I return to staring blankly at the cloudless blue sky. How could such a perfect day turn out to be so horrid?

Arthur returns with Mattie in his arms, and answers the questions of the man in front of us. I feel glad when he leaves. We all stand still. I turn to leave. Matthew leaps out Arthur's arms, scurries past me and cuts me off. He gives me a look that gives me chills.

"Papa, why are you and Daddy fighting?"

I feel a tear start to form in my eye. It takes me awhile to reply.

"Because," I answer, as more tears form, "your Papa is careless. I don't deserve you."

I hear Arthur shout at me as I run into the house. "Francis! Don't you tell him that! FRANCIS!"

I hide in the bedroom until Matthew has gone to bed. Arthur comes stomping into my room, visibly… irked.

"You," he starts, the anger in his voice rising. "I. Am. Pissed. At you. Why? Why did you tell Matthew that you don't deserve us? You bloody git."

"Because. I let Alfred get hurt."

"It wasn't your fault, Francis. No one knew this would happen."

"I let him get hurt, Arthur… Our son."

The next thing I feel is a stinging pain on my cheek. I raise my hand to the tender skin where Arthur has slapped me.

I am dumbstruck. "You… You hit…"Arthur is holding the hand he hit me with, and is visibly hurt. He speaks to me in a tone that starts out nasty and sharp, but slowly turns into his sweet voice that I have always loved. "Shut up, Francis. We LOVE you. Mattie loves you. I love you. Does that not matter to you, Francis? We're all worried about Alfred, yes. I know you feel guilty, and I'm sorry I accused you." He embraces me and kisses me on my cheek, where he struck me. His lips are soft and warm, and his arms guard me and protect me. I feel my guilt and my pain wash away from me. I am reminded of how much I love my husband, and how much he loves me. I wrap my arms around him, my love, and let him continue to kiss me.