Evangelion Fan Fiction
Evangelion Misfile
By Kraven Ergeist
Chapter Four
Misato's mind was blank as she stepped into her entry plug. She didn't care that she stumbled or that she was slower than the rest of the pilots, or that she had to be "reminded" of half the things that she should have known as a pilot.
Kaji…
He wouldn't even look at her like this. She was half his age now! And he was her Operations Director, which meant that she would taking orders from him directly until this whole misfile blew over, an eventuality that was looking farther and farther away.
"Katsuragi?"
Misato's blood ran cold. His voice was so familiar, so real – he called her name just the way he used to before…
"Katsuragi, what are you doing?" Kaji's voice sounded concerned and kind of angry. "Your sync rate is less than 25%. Wake up!"
Misato started. "R-right!"
Misato stared at the controls of her Eva like they were an alien landscape. They WERE an alien landscape! She had never truly been inside an Eva before! Sure, she might have previously in this lifetime, but never in her experience! She hadn't even gotten a sync test in, for christ's sake!
Oh God, she was going to die! She had no idea how to fight in this Eva, no idea how to even make it start up…
"Misato!" Shinji's face patched through the private channel. "You don't have to pilot! You can let Rei or Kaworu pilot for you…"
Misato blinked. "Sh-Shinji?"
Shinji smiled ironically. "I know what it's like…to be shoved into a pilot's seat with no prior training or any hope of surviving…"
Misato's blood ran cold. That's right…she had put Shinji in this exact same scenario. After just having met his father again for the first time, with no experience, no training, and no warning, she had shoved him, every way but bodily, into the seat of an Evangelion.
Misato clutched the controls. "I can't run away, Shinji…I can do this. I'm the First Child, remember? If I back down, NERV is going to grow suspicious. Besides…"
She inhaled the LCL. It was a strange, gooey substance that smelled like blood.
"Kaji's watching me…" Misato bit her lip. "I can't screw up. This is my moment. I've got to show him what I can do…"
Shinji blinked incredulously. "Do you hear yourself, Misato? You're turning into Asuka!"
Misato released the controls. He was right! What was she doing? She was smarter than this! She was letting her feelings get the better of her! But why? She was still an adult! True, she was an adult in a teenager's body, but…
She glanced down at her body. That was it! She had a teenager's hormones! They were messing with her head! Ordinarily, she'd be rational and calculating, but now…now, she was acting like an emotionally fragile egotist.
Like Asuka.
Her mind went blank. And Unit 00 shut down.
"I…I can't do this…" she announced over the intercom. "I…I don't know…something's wrong…"
Kaji's voice sounded over the background as he ordered Unit 00 reconfigured for Ayanami.
"They're going to notice something is up," Shinji warned over the intercom. "First a missed sync test, and now a failed launch? They'll put you on medical review."
Misato sighed, relieved and anxious. "What else can I do, Shinji? I can't pretend I know how to pilot, not while the world's at stake. Right now, no matter how good a pilot I may have been in this lifetime, Rei's a better pilot than I am. When I sent you out on your first sortie, there was no other choice. Now there is – Rei is perfectly fit to pilot Eva, and Kaworu…well, I don't know. But I'm not the woman for the job. Not right now, when I have no recollection of piloting Eva, and I'm still in shock, not only from seeing my father, but with Kaji being my Operations Director…"
Shinji's expression was grim. In a way, she had hoped Misato would be fighting next to her. Despite the validity of all her arguments for her not doing so, Shinji trusted her, and felt more confident with Misato besides her. Selfishly, she had looked forward to piloting Eva, not with her sitting on the sidelines and giving orders, but riding shotgun right there with her.
But she had to consider her feelings too. Not to mention the dangers of having an inexperienced – and therefore, ineffectual pilot as a wingman.
"Ok Misato…I'll trust your judgment," Shinji offered a weak smile. She still had an Angel to fight. "We've got to look after each other, after all."
Shinji placed her feminine hand against the view screen of his com link with Misato. Misato returned the gesture, and she found herself suddenly struck with a pang of regret that Shinji wasn't a boy anymore.
She shook her head. She WAS a boy…and more importantly, MISATO was an adult, AND Shinji's guardian. She shivered at the prospect of where her mind was headed. These hormones of hers were going to get her into serious trouble if she wasn't careful.
God's in his heaven, all's right with the world, but in one little corner of the universe, there is nothing more irritating than a misfile…
Misato sat in a medical examination room. She had already been examined by an attending physician so now all that remained was a psychiatric evaluation.
"R-Ritsuko!" Misato gaped as the doctor stepped into the examination room.
Dr. Akagi set the file she was holding on the desk, looking like she could care less for its contents. "Yes, Misato…try not to faint."
Misato puffed out her cheeks. "I don't exactly think you fall into the impartial and unbiased category."
Ritsuko's expression was anything but pleased. "I've known you longer than your own father, Misato. Hell, I practically raised you."
Misato crossed her arms. As surprising as Ritsuko's revelation was, it also made Misato very aware of how shaky her position was – she had no basis of what had supposedly happened in her life for the past fourteen years. Kaworu's misfile had supposedly wiped off fifteen years of her life, but as far as recollection went, he may as well have wiped the slate clean.
"I still don't think you're the best person for this part of the examination," Misato muttered, stubbornly.
Ritsuko crossed her arms. "The thing is, Misato…I don't think this is as complicated as you're making it out to be. This is about me, isn't it?"
Misato blinked. "I…what?"
Ritsuko sighed. "Look, I know I haven't been the best guardian, and with all my work here at NERV, sometimes I forget that I'm supposed to be a role model for you…"
Misato groaned. "No, no, look…you've got it all wrong…I don't blame you for anything. You have a lot of other responsibilities that are more important than me."
"Misato, don't say that," Ritsuko frowned.
Misato shook her head. "What I mean is, you didn't have to take me into your home. You could have just sent me off to one of the dormitories or something."
Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "In second grade? You could barely tie your shoes."
Misato fidgeted. This was going to take some guesswork and a lot of deduction. "My point is, you've done right by me. This isn't about you."
Ritsuko raised an eyebrow. "Then what is it? A boy?"
Misato flushed. "No, it's not a boy!"
Ritsuko pursed her lips. "Are you sure? Misato, I think it's time we had a little talk…"
Misato's face fell. "Oh, God, tell me you're not trying to explain the facts of life to me…"
Ritsuko frowned. "I'm no idiot, Misato – I know you know how everything works. What I need to know from you is if you're going to act responsibly if and when it happens."
Misato wanted to claw her way through the drywall. "God, why are you talking to ME about being responsible in a relationship! HE'S the one who abandoned his family!"
Ritsuko's eyes flew open. "He? Who?"
Misato's mouth went dry. She hadn't meant to say that. "I mean…nothing…"
Ritsuko took her by the arm. "No, Misato…tell me, who do you mean? Do you mean your father?"
Misato squeezed her eyes together. Of all the subjects she didn't want to talk about, this was the VERY last on her list, and with the LAST person she'd ever want to talk to about it!
"Listen," she groaned, turning to look away. She knew her hormones were getting the better of her, but she didn't care. "Just drop it!"
Ritsuko shook her head. "I'm not allowed to drop it, Misato…I have to figure out how your sync rate dropped from a 75% to a 25% overnight. It would take a SEVERELY traumatic event to bring about such a change, Misato, and if something like that has happened to one of MY pilots, let alone one of my charges, then I need to know about it!"
Misato felt cold. She WANTED to tell Ritsuko the truth – she was one of her most trusted friends – but she couldn't. Not in this world, where she was an emotionally unstable teenager playing in an adult world.
"I just don't get it…" Misato curled her knees up to her body. Ritsuko sat next to her on the cot. "He's one of the leading scientists here at NERV…why would he abandon me?"
Ritsuko blinked. "Abandon you? Misato what are you talking about?"
Misato began to cry. It had been such an enormous leap for her to accept Shinji into her household. It had drawn the two of them closer together than either of them could have wanted, imagined or anticipated. But all the same, she had never looked back. And she could only imagine what it had taken for Ritsuko to extend that same degree of generosity for her, even in this world. And from as far back as second grade? She could only respect that. So why couldn't her father…?
"It's not you…" Misato wept, her head falling onto Ritsuko shoulder. "It's not…you've been wonderful…but…why couldn't it be him…?"
Ritsuko didn't put her arm around Misato the way she had expected. Right then, she could have used the emotional support. Although she had twisted the story around to suit this particular world, the emotions behind the tears had been genuine.
But Ritsuko only stared at the girl.
"Misato…what's gotten into you? Have you forgotten?" Ritsuko stared at her with a look of incredulity and…was that anger?
"Forgotten what?" Misato asked through red, swollen eyes, suddenly worried.
Ritsuko fixed her with a piercing look.
"YOU were the one who abandoned HIM, Misato…" Ritsuko stated as though she were reminding her.
Misato's heart sank. "…What?"
"Have you…" Ritsuko's brows knit in calculation. "Have you blocked the memory out? I understand that it was a trying time for you, but…oh, God, all this time…"
Misato shook her head. "What? What have I forgotten!"
She was tired of playing this guessing game. For all she knew, she might have royally screwed herself up.
Ritsuko sighed and got up from her seat beside Misato on the cot. "I'm going to need some coffee for this…"
She poured herself a cup and sat across from Misato in the examination room.
"It was about seven years ago," She began, sipping from her mug. "I had just started working here, alongside your mother, your father, Captain Kaji, and Shina's father, the Commander…"
Misato swallowed. She would have to inquire about Kaji later.
"Your father and I were both assistants to my mother…" Ritsuko lit a cigarette. "We were beginning activation tests on the Evas…and your mother…was Unit 00's test pilot…"
Misato's eyes flew open.
It couldn't be…
"There was an accident…a cross-flow feedback, a reversal of the primary ignition…" Ritsuko stopped when she realized Misato wouldn't understand her. "Do you not remember any of this? She…her body was missing. She was presumed deceased."
Misato's mouth was dry. It was…just like Shinji's mother. Just like…
"You never forgave your father after that day…" Ritsuko said, not even looking at Misato anymore. "You refused to live under the same roof as him. I…I volunteered to take you in. I…it's what my mother would have done…but she had…"
Ritsuko swallowed a lump in her throat.
"She had…retired early..."
Misato knew the story of course, but she imagined that this Ritsuko hadn't shared this particular story with her younger self. She saw no reason to disillusion that sentiment.
Still…for Ritsuko to take her in after losing her mother…
"…Thank you, Ritsuko…" Misato mouthed.
Ritsuko smiled weakly. "You've never called me Ritsuko before…always Dr. Akagi…seriously, what's gotten into you? The other morning, you woke up and looked at me like I was a complete stranger. And now it's like you've never seen an Eva before in your life."
Misato shook her head. The time for sentimentality had passed. She could think about her father and Kaji more later. It was time to think about her cover.
"I don't know…" Misato bit her lip. "It was just a lapse. A fluke. I just need to train harder. I'll try to do better, Ritsu…um…Dr. Akagi…"
"Ritsuko's fine," the doctor said, sipping her coffee. It was strange – they had lived together since the age of seven, and yet had always been at arms length. She was more of a foster mother than a stepmother. But even foster mothers spent more time with their charges than she did. "I was serious about trying to be a better guardian for you, Misato. I hope you can at least trust me."
Misato nodded. But she didn't trust her. Couldn't. Even in her own life, she knew that Ritsuko kept secrets, even from her close friends. But that didn't change the fact that she deeply wanted to…
"Can I go now?" Misato asked, wiping her eyes.
Ritsuko nodded. "Just let me sign you out…"
Misato fled the seclusion of the medical wing. She found Shinji waiting for her on a bench. She still hadn't changed out of her plug suit, which clung fetchingly to her female form.
"Did…" Shinji asked, looking up. "Did she suspect anything?"
Misato put on her best smile. "Nothing any sane person wouldn't suspect. Boy troubles, father issues, mother issues…I'm just about sick of having to think about all this shit…"
She looked at Shinji and smiled, this time much more convincingly.
"Go get changed," she ordered. "Let's go get some ice cream or something."
Shinji's face brightened up. "Ok!"
Misato waited for Shinji to change outside the locker room. As she waited, Asuka strode by, carrying her school bag.
"Heh…what are you still doing here?" Asuka crowed. "Haven't they pulled you off the roster yet? I mean, losing out to Wonder Girl…ouch! I guess the Evas don't take kindly to their pilots laying with other women."
Misato's eyebrow twitched. "Asuka…I am NO mood to put up with your shit right now…"
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Jeez, sorry…you know, you're not exactly the easiest to put up with, either. You always act like you're our mother or something."
Misato snorted. "Well, maybe it's because you all need one. By the way, why are you still living with Kaji? Aren't you old enough to room by yourself?"
Asuka's grin widened. "What's the matter? Want me out of the way so you can take a shot at him? I thought you weren't into guys!"
Misato refused to let Asuka's bantering get to her. "What I'm saying is, people are going to start to talk."
Asuka gloated. "What, you mean like people already talk about you and Shina? Honestly, do you two EVER go anywhere without each other?"
Misato crossed her arms. "You just LOVE to make assumptions, don't you? That's all you ever seem to do, since you don't know anything about us."
"What's there to assume?" Asuka countered. "You sit next to each other in class, walk each other to school, you live in the same house, and your dyke of a guardian is hardly ever home to begin with! God KNOWS what goes on in that house of yours!"
Misato wanted so badly to slap her right that moment. It was bad enough that she would insinuate that she was doing things with Shinji in her girl's body, but insulting Ritsuko? She had half a mind to scratch her face off!
But she refused to. She refused to be the aggressor and be the one charged with assault. So she changed tacks.
"I should have figured a girl who has no friends could only see that sort of thing as carnal lust."
Asuka glowered. "EXCUSE me?"
"After all," Misato said, calmly. "She spends all her time pining for an older guy who's NEVER going to acknowledge her feelings. As fixated as she is on this guy, I guess it's only natural that all she understands is sexual desire. Things like friendship, companionship and trust…these are beyond her frail grasp. All she cares about is who's fucking who. Which is ironic, considering she's still a virgin!"
"WHY…YOU…" Asuka raged. "FUCK YOU!"
Asuka stormed off down the hall.
"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" Misato crowed after her.
The locker room door opened shortly after.
"Was that Asuka I heard screaming?" Shinji asked curiously, showered and dressed in her feminine school uniform.
"Guess so," Misato brushed it off. "Now, about that ice cream…"
Shinji wasn't quite satisfied with her response to her earlier inquiry, but Misato gave her little choice in the matter as she practically dragged her (a task made easy by Shinji's slight frame, guy or girl) towards the elevators.
"So…why ice cream, all of the sudden?" Shinji asked.
"Well…" Misato stretched her arms once the elevator doors had closed. "Seeing as how I can't indulge in my previous form of recreational substance, it looks like sugar and caffeine are my only reasonable alternatives. And since YOU can't be trusted to wake up at a reasonable hour, caffeine is out of the question for me – we won't be able to sleep, and I'll sleep through my alarm clock like you always do anyway, and then we'll BOTH be late for school! So sugar's the only thing left for me. Don't worry – my treat!"
She winked playfully.
Shinji blushed. "I guess…it just…feels kinda like a date…so I wasn't sure if you really wanted to or not…"
Misato pursed her lips. She'd had enough of Asuka's bullshit about her being a lesbian. Girls hung out all the time, after all! Girls did each other's hair and makeup, and even took baths together! Girls could easily get away with sleeping in the same bed, and even practicing kissing each other without it being called "lesbianism." So what right did Asuka have to be pointing fingers? Misato and Shinji hadn't even done anything remotely sexual!
And even if they had…it's not like Shinji was really a girl. Underneath the girl's body, she was still a boy, and would remain a boy! That's right - no matter what skin she dwelled in, Shinji was Shinji! She was the same! And so was Misato! The only differences were caused by Kaworu's stupid misfile!
Kaworu…where HAD he gone anyway?
Misato shrugged it off. Forget it – she was sick of dealing with this paranormal shit! She just wanted to have a nice, relaxing evening with Shinji.
She caught herself blushing. This kind of was like a date. True, Shinji was in a girl's body, but did that really change who she was? She was still a boy underneath, and it's not like she was particularly threatening as a boy. Now, she was even less so. But she was still the same sweet, caring soul she'd always been.
And true, Misato was in a younger body, but that just made it easier to accept on the outside. No one would question it, and even Shinji had to be put at ease by the apparent lack of an age gap between them now.
But Misato was still herself underneath. She was still an adult. She was still his guardian. So sure, it was fun to pretend to be a high school girl, and take her boyfriend out on a date. But as fun as this little dream world of hers was, when they all woke up, would they all remember it?
Aw, screw it – it was just ice cream for crying out loud!
"Don't be looking a gift horse in the mouth, Shinji," Misato patted her on the back a little harder than she needed to. "Just go with it!"
Shinji grunted uncomfortably. "R-Right…"
As the elevator doors opened, Rei appeared, waiting to board.
"Oh," Shinji blurted. "Ayanami!"
Rei nodded, before turning to Misato. "I must apologize for my earlier misconception, Pilot Katsuragi. Pilot Ikari explained to me that you two are not romantic with each other. Forgive my incorrect assumption."
Shinji let out a breath of air, before Misato's arm slinked around Shinji's shoulder, her face plastered with a foxy smile.
"Awww, are you being coy with the other pilots, Shina?" Misato said, adopting Shinji's girl name. "She's just so shy about these things…"
Shinji's face lit up. "M-M-M-Misato!"
Misato pressed her index finger against Shinji's sternum, right between the breasts, while her other hand snaked its way up to cop a feel on her left breast.
Shinji's eyes clenched tightly as Misato's touches sent shivers down her spine. For a purportedly straight girl, something in the back of Shinji's mind noticed, she knew a surprising number of ways to turn another girl on.
Rei simply blinked in confusion. "I fail to comprehend…are you two romantic or are you not?"
Shinji shook her head, stammering incoherencies.
"Go on Shina," Misato whispered into the poor girl's ear, pinching her earlobe between her lips. "Tell her the truth…"
Shinji flailed madly, trying to dislodge the girl's grip on her slight frame. "Misato! Stop it!"
Misato released her prisoner, dashing off the elevator past Rei, giggling wildly.
Shinji panted for breath, clenching her arms to her chest, instinctively protecting her breasts.
Rei glanced back and forth between the two, before nodding. "I believe I understand now…Pilot Katsuragi enjoys teasing you, much like Pilot Soryu."
Shinji pursed her lip, not sure whether she should agree with any comparison between Misato and Asuka. But then again, had Shinji not said earlier that day that Misato was behaving much like Asuka had?
She nodded.
"Contrary to Pilot Soryu though," Rei continued. "You don't seem to dislike Pilot Katsuragi's teasing quite as much."
Shinji blushed, biting her lip, shaking her head. "I don't…"
"I see…" Rei nodded. "Thank you for clearing up the misconception for me, Pilot Ikari."
Shinji nodded as Rei stepped onto the elevator.
Shinji walked off, before turning around to catch the door. "Oh, yeah…Misato and I were going to get some ice cream. Why don't you come with us?"
Rei blinked in surprise. "I am sorry. I am not available at this time…"
Shinji nodded. "Oh…I see…"
Rei's expression softened as the doors drifted closed. "Perhaps another time…"
Shinji's eyed widened in surprise at Rei's statement. Then he smiled. Maybe today wasn't a total loss after all.
"Hey, Shinji, you coming?" Misato yelled from down the hall. "I'm not gonna wait for you forever! I need my ice cream fix, pronto!"
Shinji hoisted her bag over her shoulder. No, today wasn't a loss at all.
"I'm on my way!"