"What do you mean, my life without Temperance Brennan?" Booth repeated, unable to wrap his head around the idea.
"Be patient, Seeley, I'll show you." His mother scolded his questioning as they whooshed towards the next scene.
When Booth realized he was standing in the lab, he glanced around for some sort of clue as to the year. Instead, he found Angela, Hodgins, and Zack huddled around the front door and Angela was going completely ballistic. She was pacing and vehemently denying something to Hodgins.
"No!" She cried, shaking her head. "I won't let you!"
"Angela, she spent her whole life working with bones. It's sort of poetic…" Hodgins tried to comfort her, but his own emotion got in the way.
"What are they talking about?" Booth asked his mother, the sight inducing his own panicked lilt to his voice. "What are we doing here?"
"If you hadn't gone to the airport that morning and convinced Brennan to start that second case, she would eventually agree to work with other agents of the FBI on an occasional basis."
"No partner?" His mother nodded. Booth didn't like the sound of that at all. "All of the danger and none of the protection."
"For this case, Agent Kenton was the agent she was paired with to solve a series of murders." Booth instantly remembered what that meant for Bones. His mother watched the dawning of realization on his face. "You remember the bodies you found." He managed to nod minutely. His mother began to walk towards Cam's, or someone's office, and Booth once again felt compelled to follow, despite his own inner will knowing what was going to be found inside. The pathologist was playing a tape with Brennan's voice on it.
"Victim is female. Late teens to mid-twenties. Knife marks on the bone, evidence of deep cuts. Probably to open up the flesh, make it….more appetizing for the dogs." The tape stopped and the coroner shook his head as he took out his own tape recorder.
"I am now ready to confirm via DNA and dental records that this is in fact, Dr. Temperance Brennan. The injuries to the body match the description of Dr. Brennan's victims and I feel safe in presuming that this was a retaliatory attack for Dr. Brennan's work on her most recent case." Booth stared at the coroner in shock. He glanced back at the remains on the table, they were completely decimated. There was barely any flesh left to the bones and the eyes were gone. He turned to the nearest trashcan and retched. His mother watched on, unsurprised. How could she be so calm?
Because she was a freaking ghost, he reminded himself.
"This is just one of many potential outcomes." His mother reminded him, reading his thoughts and continuing with her omniscient attitude. The coroner was talking again so Booth paid attention.
"Dr. Brennan's team has requested that the body be macerated before burial." Booth tried to leave but his feet were planted again.
"I want to leave." He demanded.
"Seeley, this is important…"
"I got the freaking message, okay? I want to leave. Now." His mother nodded and Booth, despite feeling sick, suddenly felt bad for yelling at his mother. He had waited 30 years to see her again and now he was screaming at her just like his father used to. She didn't seem to mind as she grabbed his hand and left the room.
"I'm sorry." He said as soon as he could find the words to talk again.
"It's a scary picture." His mother said indifferently.
"So she'd be dead if I wasn't her partner." Booth said, understanding.
"You'd be dead if she wasn't your partner. We're here." His mother said as the blank room became Brennan's apartment. Booth watched as she came into the apartment in a daze. Her shirt and hands were still spattered with dried blood. She walked into her bedroom and caught her own reflection in the full-length mirror. She stood completely still for a moment, taking herself in. Suddenly, the dazed, composed woman frantically tore her shirt off and threw it in the nearest garbage can. She undressed until she was in her underwear and then she ran to her bathroom and frantically began scrubbing her hands, she scrubbed and scrubbed, using a nailbrush until his blood was entirely gone and her own hands were beginning to bleed.
"Bones, stop." Booth begged. He knew that it was useless but he couldn't stop himself from trying to reach out to her. He didn't want her to hurt herself. She was frantic. Finally, she threw the brush into the mirror, fracturing the corner of the glass. She crumpled to the floor as she sobbed alone, practically naked, with soapy pink water dripping from her hands. Booth sat down next to her, knowing that she couldn't feel him, but he wanted to be close to her anyway.
"This was from the night I was shot." He knew by the clothes she had torn off. "She thought I was dead."
"Yes." His mother said softly. Booth was surprised by the change in her tone and he glanced up at his mother.
"Is this what really happened?" He asked. She simple nodded.
"Teddy got to be there when you were on that ship." She said calmly again. "I knew that you needed his help over mine. You were there to learn a lesson. I knew that your team, your brother, they wouldn't let you down." She told him with a smile. "But I wanted to be the one to take you." Her smile fell away. "I couldn't come until you were unconscious. I knew that you would rather spend your last memories on earth looking at her." Booth's throat was swelling shut as he tried not to burst into tears. "When you went unconscious, I finally prepared to see you but…" she paused "I wasn't needed. She saved you and I thank God every day that she did." She knelt down next to him and combed her fingers over his temple and into his hair. It was still as comforting now as it was when he was small.
"Isn't there some sort of version of this story that doesn't end with us dying?" Booth asked his mother. "Is that the only reason that we were put together? To keep each other alive?"
"You want the happy version." His mother smiled knowingly. "You always wanted the happy version." She recalled. "Come on then." She said as she wrapped an arm around his.
OOOOO
Booth flashed back to a barstool and the taste of tequila on his tongue. She was running out into the rain and his former self was following her. This was different. The cab wasn't there yet and she was kissing him senseless. He countered by pressing her against the brick wall. As the cab pulled up, the horn honked and they both ran into the rain.
Before Booth knew it, he felt the now familiar pulling sensation and the scene was gone. He found himself in her kitchen, they were cooking and dancing to Sinatra and laughing. Booth couldn't help but smile at the scene. These scenes were all shorter, faster, flickering before him like the clips from a movie as he watched the progression of their imaginary relationship. The last scene was Brennan stating nonchalantly that she would like to be married to him, should he ever want to ask her. He chuckled, knowing that is exactly what would happen if they ever got the chance. His mother appeared next to him again and she looked at the light on her son's face in the scene.
"Is that what you wanted to see?" She asked. Booth sighed. He had used that tone with Parker enough to know the point she was trying to make.
"I know that it's not real." He said a little too defensively.
"But you wanted to see it anyway." His mother pointed out. "Why?"
"Because it's better than looking at our splattered blood." He said, annoyed at her prodding. His mother knew what he was saying. He had always lived for the ideal, even if it was just a façade.
"Would you rather have perfection that isn't real or reality that seems like perfection?" She asked. Booth stared at her as he took in her words. Before he could respond, they were off into the ether again.
OOOOO
Booth realized that they were on the edge of a cemetery. Everyone on the team was sitting around a grave on blankets, having a picnic.
"I can't believe it's been over a year." Cam said as she picked up her glass of wine. "You know, it dawned on me on the way over here that she was the person who gave me the courage to reach out to Michelle. Without her influence, I wouldn't have ever considered being a mother." Hodgins smiled.
"I wouldn't have met Angela." He said as he looked at his wife.
"And I would have never had a steady paying job." She tried to grin as she cracked the joke, but it ended with her tearing up again.
"I would have never stopped drinking." They all looked up as Jared laid a bouquet of flowers on top of the gravestone. Booth took the time to notice it for the first time. It read 'Temperance Brennan Booth. Beloved Wife, Mother, and Friend. "Have you seen…?" He asked. They all shook their head.
"He comes alone." Angela said. Jared nodded in understanding. Booth just stared at the family she had created for herself and was in awe of how much she impacted the world around her. He had always teased her about being alone, in the lab, shut away from the world, but in reality, she had changed everyone around her simply by being in their lives.
Soon, he watched as their makeshift family packed up their picnic and left, each one touching the stone before making their way back to their cars. In the distance, he saw an older version of himself holding the hand of a little auburn haired girl. She was the spitting image of Bones and looked like she was only four or five. Booth felt the acid burning in his throat as he glanced to the gravestone again. They had a daughter. He watched as his other self laid flowers on the grave.
"Daddy, why do you bring Mommy daffodils?" The little girl asked as she swayed to and fro, her dress swishing against her little knees.
"Well, because daffodils were Mommy's favorite flower and it's a nice way to remember her." He said as he stood next to the stone.
"But she's dead." She said matter of factly and the invisible Booth didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the mini-squint that might have been his future daughter.
"Come here." Booth said as he picked the little girl up. "We come here to tell Mommy that we remember her and that we love her. We get to talk to her and her spirit in heaven listens."
"How?" The little girl frowned.
"She just does?" Booth said, hoping that would suffice, but knowing that it wouldn't.
"Does she have a telephone?" The little girl asked as she wriggled out of her father's arms to examine the base of the headstone for communicative devices.
"No, baby. She doesn't." Booth shook his head, knowing that he could never explain it to her liking. Thankfully, he saw his son walking towards them. "Hey, go say hello to your brother." He said as he pointed towards Parker.
"Parks!" The little girl ran to her brother and hugged his leg excitedly. Parker picked her up and spun her around. "Do you want to play tag with me?" She asked. Parker glanced at his father who nodded his okay and the two walked right past the unseen observers.
"Do you hear that Bones?" Booth asked as he laid a hand on the stone. "She asks questions like that all the time." He smiled as he choked back the tears. "She's so logical and rational. I can't lie to her, even when I try." He sniffed as he watched his daughter dance in and out of the row of headstones. "She's got your brain and my energy. She's going to be unstoppable." He promised. "I hope you don't mind what I said earlier, about you being in Heaven. I know you probably hate that." He said. "But I hope you understand why I say it. I believe it. I have to believe it." He said, getting choked up again. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the tear slid down his cheek. "I miss you so much sometimes it's hard to breathe." He murmured. "I still wake up from time to time and I forget that you're gone." He admitted. "And then there are times when I swear I can smell your perfume, you know, the one I got you for your birthday? It gives me faith that you are still around, still checking in to make sure that we're okay." He chuckled as Parker finally caught up to his sister and spun her around, sending the little girl in circles, squealing in delight. "We're surviving, Bones." He assured his wife. "You taught me that. Some days it's hard, but we always make it through." Parker wrangled his little sister back over towards the gravestone.
"Tell her Happy Birthday." Parker whispered.
"Happy Birthday, Mommy." The little girl said, despite the fact that she didn't understand why they were talking to a polished rock.
"Happy Birthday, Bones." Parker said as he touched the stone and Booth found it hard to breathe once again as the scene melted around him. His mother brought him back to the white room and she saw the tears in his eyes.
"How did she die?" Booth asked his mother. "No one said."
"Does it matter?" She asked. Booth knew that it was a silly question, considering the scene wasn't real, but it did matter. It mattered to him. "You got eleven perfect years together before she died. Would you take it? If you knew how the story ended?" Booth didn't know the answer to that question. "Seeley." She frowned as she admonished his silence. "Maybe you just need a reminder of your own story. The real story." She said as she waved at the blank wall.