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Quinn shook her head and bit her lower lip. All she wished for at that moment was to hold her little angel one more time. But she knew if that happens, she wouldn't want to say goodbye. She would hold her baby and wouldn't let go. She would want to keep her. She lets out a faint sigh, letting her back slump after a tiring day. She was desperate to take her mind off this matter. She looked for things to do, but there was nothing to do. Her room was empty. Blue, white, blue, white, yeah, they're neat, she thought. With nothing to do, she stared at the plain blue wall. Her stare was empty as if she was… Soulless. This nothingness brought the emptiness of her heart out. The coldness of the room pierced into her bones. The white hospital light made her eyes blind. The silence deafened her. Everything was wrong, yet it wasn't.
She wasn't ready to accept the inevitable; she knew that saying goodbye to Beth might be the hardest thing she'll ever do. The choice was still hers though; she could keep Beth, which wasn't the original plan, or give her away, according to the plan. She wished she still have months to think about it. She wanted to relive the time when she still had a lot of time to think about this. She didn't care if she'll have to go through the mocking, whispering, and stares all over again, as long as she has Beth with her. Her love for Beth had grown immeasurable the more she thought about it. Whenever she tried to keep her mind off Beth, her heart will trace its way back to Beth.
The door creaked open. "Hi, Quinn. How are you feeling?" The question came out of Shelby's mouth as she stared at the inanimate figure. The thought of Quinn so empty and lifeless scared her. Quinn knew she was there to ask about the baby, but she chose to act as normally as she could manage to act like at that moment. Her heartbeat raced faster and faster, as if it was trying to win a race. The woman next to her will soon be her baby's mom. Soon, her little angel would have another mother-figure than her. A mother-figure who had gave away her own baby and regretted it. A question popped up in her mind, will I regret giving her away?
The thought brought a frown to her face without her realizing it. Shelby's simple question remained unanswered. Her mind was about to take off from her physical body again as the door creaked for the second time. Of course it was her new old-boyfriend. He brought some snacks and drinks as he entered. His eyebrows furrowed together as he saw the black-haired woman.
"So you're…" He was about to ask the girl who sat on the hospital bed. Before he could even finish his sentence, Shelby cut him,
"No." She said with a smile on her face, "she hasn't made the decision yet." She didn't know what she was feeling anymore. She really wanted to have a family, a baby, but she didn't want to see Quinn so… Fragile and vulnerable. She didn't want Quinn to regret the decision she'll make soon. A decision she regretted years later. Quinn was so calm on the surface, but her heart was numb. Numb from the different emotions filling her heart at once. She was scared, happy, excited, desperate, sad, it was probably the most confusing feeling she had ever felt. Hearing this from Shelby though, Finn relaxed a little bit. He sat on the chair next to Quinn's bed and just stared at the hollow-eyed blonde. Quinn heard everything, she saw Finn from the edge of her eyes, but she didn't even bother to look at him.
Ok, this is awkward, he thought, what's Shelby even doing in here? He knew Shelby was there about the baby, but he couldn't help but think about how awkward it was. A mother who gave away her baby and regret it when she saw her daughter again. She tried everything to get her baby girl back, but it was too late. Her baby girl's a wonderful young lady now. And at that very moment, Quinn was in the state of choosing; to be a teenage mother or let her baby girl go.
Puck had decided that he'll go with whatever decision Quinn will choose. His heart sank when he chose to do so. He said goodbye to his baby girl already. He chose not to see his kid anymore. He didn't want to see her every day when he knew, at the end of the day, he'll have to say goodbye. And between those 'goodbye's, there will be one last goodbye. He chose to say goodbye for the first and last time. The day Beth was born. Now the decision's Quinn's.
It was probably the biggest dilemma she had ever faced. Her mind's still wandering around the world of memories she built during the last 9 months. Her hand moved itself to the now flat stomach of hers. Shelby knew this feeling. Shelby knew how Quinn wished she could still feel a life inside of her. Shelby just looked at the young girl in awe, wishing that there was something she could do.
Finn was right. It did feel awkward. In fact, it was really awkward. Finn started to question the purpose of him being there. He was lost, looking at the two females in front of her. He could see his hands forming the awkward turtle formation. So he decided to break the awkwardness.
"Quinn," He took her hand in his. And now, the girl locked her eyes on his, "you wanna talk about this? Have you reached your decision yet?" She nodded. Finn's heart beat faster. His eyes were lost in hers. Her eyes struggled to find a way out of his. Finally, she managed to escape his dazzling stare. Her eyes traveled to the figure that will or will not be her daughter's mom. The woman stared at her now dull face.
"You can have her." She whispered, almost denying the answer she just gave.
I already have something in mind for the next chapter. Please review :) thank you.