And she said, her breathe wavering as it slowly left her, "My last wish..." she coughed, but forced herself to continue. "My last wish... is for the disclaimer to go here."

CHAPTER SEVEN.

"Gods, have you bathed?"

Thalia tells me as she enters my tent. She waves her hand in front of her crinkled nose. "It smells like something died in here," she adds.

I stare up at her and attempt a glare. There's a high probability that, like it usually does, my death glare had failed miserably. I attempt a smile instead, but in the end, find that I can't manage to do that either.

"Well, what do you expect? I'm not allowed to leave this damn tent." I say. "Besides, where in Hades am I supposed to bathe? Not like there's a shower in the middle of a friggin' forest."

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. A smirk plays her lips. My eyes widen.

"No way," I say, my mouth gaping. "So there is a shower in the forest?"

She shakes her head and then she walks over and smacks mine. Before I could even utter an 'oww,' or any other complaint, she says, "I think you lost a part of your brain shadow traveling here."

"Well, you just killed some more brain cells. If I become even stupider than I was before, I'm blaming you." I stick my tongue out at her.

She shakes her head, but she her lips are curled into a smile.

"There's a lake not far from here, but pretty far from where the Hunters have set up camp. I don't think Artemis would mind it if you went over there for a bath. The farther away you are from her Hunters, the better, anyway." She grins, laughing a bit as she talked.

I nod, but I remember something very crucial when I stand up. I grab the sides of my shirt, making sure I showed the most tattered and muddied up parts, and look at Thalia with the smuggest expression I can make. "Don't have a change of clothes, sorry. Guess I'll just have to stay stinky."

I laugh and sit back down, bending one leg up so I can rest an arm on my knee. I lean back and use my free arm for support. I haven't bathed since I arrived here at Arizona. "I'm hoping to break the world record for 'longest time lasted without taking a bath, or taking part in any sort of bodily hygiene.'"

"You're disgusting," she scoffs. She grabs the scruff of my shirt and pulls me up. "I'll get you extra clothes."

"There's no way in Hades I'm wearing girl clothes," I make a disgusted face.

"Gods, di Angelo, don't get your panties in a twist," Thalia laughs and slaps my arm. I fidget as I feel some weird sensation ride up my spine – she shocked me on purpose, I bet. "I'm sure I can find something for you."

"Nothing pink, or glittery, and nothing with hearts, flowers, butterflies, and you know, all that girly crap." I say as I shoo her away to fetch me my supplies.

"Got it," she nods at me and walks out of the tent, waving a hand goodbye. "I'll make sure to bring you something pink – no, hot pink – glittery, with hearts, flowers, butterflies, and every other girly thing in the entire world."

I stare at the opening of my tent, where Thalia had just exited, my eyebrows scrunched up. I don't know whether she was serious about the whole 'getting me girly clothes' thing. There's a big chance it was just a joke, but I never know with Thalia. She's mean; it sounds just like her to make me suffer.

Remind me again why I go through so much trouble for her?

I step outside the tent to stretch and, basically, to just breathe. There was something really different about mountain air. I'm on the verge of finding a nice little mountain and building an old-fashioned cabin made of logs on top of it (not too high up, though), with a fireplace, a giant porch and everything, like you see in those camping movies. I could get a dog – probably either a Bloodhound named Bristol, or a Labrador named Lionel. Hmm, or I could get both. We'd both go fishing together and cook it in a bonfire I set up just in front of my house.

In the middle of my little daydream, I notice a girl with jet-black hair and so much eyeliner, or eye shadow, whatever, eye-shit, around her eyes making her look like a human raccoon, slowly walking towards me. Her movements are slow, and her feet barely touch the ground. Before each step, she looks around.

I raise an eyebrow as I watch her. She notices me and then jumps back in surprise, but sprints to me after regaining her composure. She was still making as little noise possible.

When she reaches me, she hands me a pile of folded up clothes. I take it with a smile, but I still keep my guard up. I thought the Hunters, except for Thalia, were forbidden to go near me? Or did Artemis change the ground rules while I was out cold?

Ha, not likely.

Besides, there's something about this girl that seems suspiciously familiar, I just can't put my finger on it.

I mumble my thanks as I walk back into the tent to inspect the clothes she gave me. I have to make sure they're manly enough.

I – neatly – unfold each clothes, beginning with the shirt at the top of the pile. It's just a plain gray sweatshirt with a giant yellow smiley-face on it. I nod. This is good enough. I fold it up – not so neatly – and set it beside the neater stack of clothing I'm about to mess up. Next, I unfold a pair of camouflage-designed cargo pants. I nod again. This makes up for the giant smiley-face.

After refolding the cargo pants, I realize all that's left is a white undershirt, a pair of clean socks, and a pair of really neon yellow boxers which I bet glowed in the dark. I throw the failure stack of clothes on top of the neat ones. All I gotta do now is wait for Thalia to get back so I can go to the lake.

When I stand up, I turn around and find that the raccoon girl standing in front of the exit.

"Oh, hey," I say, my hands instinctively flying into my pockets. What? This is how I deal with awkward situations! "Um, thanks again for the clothes."

"No problem." She winks. And then, or maybe it's just me, but I swear to the gods, I see her lick her lips.

I step back. She takes a step forward.

Now this is oddly familiar.

I never really got it when people said they were "undressing him with their eyes" . . . until now. The way she's looking at me looks like she wants to you-know my Holy of Holies, or kill me – but she wants me to strip naked before she does.

I just want to go up to her and tell her:

"My gods woman! I have to say, the lecherous manner in which you are staring at me is really unnerving, would you please kindly cease and desist? Thank you for your kind consideration. By the way, I would also like you to sign these papers. Yes, it is regarding the restraining order I am issuing. It kind of involves you."

But I'm afraid she might stab me with an arrow or something.

"Allison?" Thalia walks into the tent, her eyebrows crossed. She's holding a knife in her hand and pointing it at the girl who turned out to be Allison. "What're you doing here?"

"I was just . . . " Allison stammers. " . . . leaving." And she leaves the tent in a split second, without another word.

Thank the gods Thalia was here to save me from that awkward situation.

Whoa. This is some major déjà vu.

"She scares me," I tell Thalia.

"Are you going to tell me you're scared of every girl that enters this tent besides me?" She laughs.

"I'm afraid of you too."

Her laugh sounds torn between anger and amusement.

"No, but honestly, that girl, she scares me." I shake my head.

"Allison," Thalia informs me. "Why was she here?" she asks me – well, more like she demands the answer from me.

I swoop down and grab the clothes that Allison girl gave me. I show it to Thalia, gathered up in a bunch in my arms. "She gave me these clothes," I say. I raise an eyebrow and smirk. "Speaking of clothes, where're the ones you were supposed to bring me?"

"The what – oh, well, I – " she stammers, and when she fails to form a suitable answer, she resorts to punching me instead. "C'mon, I'll take you to the lake."

She doesn't even wait for me when she exits the tent. I have to struggle just to keep up with her, and mind you, it's very difficult, what with the bundle of clothes I was carrying (which, for some odd reason, was growing messier and messier with each step) and the swiftness of her movements (damn Hunter instincts).

We weave through the forest. She ducks each branch like she knows they're coming, jumps over every tree root, and maneuvers through the bushes. I, as expected, lose a couple more brain cells because of all the branches, and almost flatten my nose tripping on a tree root. Unexpectedly, however, I am able to move through the bushes.

Victory!

Thalia suddenly stops, and I crash into her. She balances us both and she elbows my gut to make me move backward. I do, but I end up hunching forward as well, in pain.

She looks both ways before passing the, er, makeshift path and steps over a root I conveniently spot one-step too late. The next few moments happen in a split second.

I fall forward, Thalia instinctively moves out of my way, and I dive head first into the lake.

I begin to thrash about in the water, suddenly forgetting how to swim. I take giant breaths whenever my head finds the opportunity to pop out to the surface, and I puff up my cheeks (like I can store my breath that way) underwater.

I feel Thalia grab the scruff of my shirt and drag me out of the water, dropping me unceremoniously on the mud.

"Holy Zeus, what do you think you're doing, Ghost Boy?" Thalia dives into the lake and fishes the pieces of clothing I've completely forgotten about, dunking them in the lake to get rid off any dirt, and then hangs them on a nearby branch.

"Thank you!" I grin stupidly.

She proceeds like she never heard me. "You'll have to wait until those clothes dry. In the mean time . . . " she grabs a bottle and a small Tupperware from her pockets and tosses them at me. She laughs as they both hid my face before they plop into my hands.

I bet she did that on purpose.

I try to act like I didn't blunder. "What're these?"

"Shampoo and a bar of soap," she tells me like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Don't tell me you were planning to take a bath with just lake water?"

"I was going to let my survival skills kick in and use the natural soaps of the wild." I smirk.

She stares at me with a stone face, nods her goodbye, and disappears without another word.

"Well isn't she a breathe of fresh air." I mutter to myself as I force myself, draped in soaking wet and frustratingly heavy clothes, to stand up.

Along with the massive amounts of dirt my clothes already collected during my misadventures here in Arizona, I'm covered with nearly three-fourths of mud, and the rest with leaves, twigs, and tiny pebbles.

Slowly, and making sure I made the most disgusted face I could manage just to add some comedy to this whole situation, I slowly and carefully peel off my clothes. I start with my jacket – Hades, Grandma Demeter's going to smite me when she sees it – then the t-shirt I wore under, and then work my way down.

The moment I am fully exposed and vulnerable, I cannonball back into the water, leaving my clothes in such a messy pile they camouflaged in the mud.

The water is really cold at first, but once my body adapts, it starts to feel warm and refreshing.

I start doing laps in the water, and just playing around, when I realize I'm supposed to be taking a bath. I paddle over to the shore and grab the bottle of shampoo. I gingerly start to pour it into one hand. I start to grow impatient when the shampoo only trickles from the opening, so I rip the top off, and spill a superfluous amount on my hair. I feel some off it falling on my shoulders and sneaking into my ears. I carelessly throw it out of the way – Thalia's going to kill me for wasting shampoo, but oh well – and with my eyes shut tight; I start to massage my head.

Occasionally, I have to submerge to get the excess amount of suds from my hair, ears, nostrils . . . you know, those places. I don't know how long it took, but I manage to get rid off all the shampoo. I look around me and see the large quantities of foam I polluted the lake with, only to find that they begin to dissolve until the lake water is as clear as ever.

The shampoo's magic . . .

I figured as much.

I slurp a mouthful of water and keep it in my mouth, and squirt it out again as I begin to soap. While soaping my pits, I spit out the backwashed water all over the shore when I realize someone was watching.

I plunge my body deeper into the water until it's only my head over the surface. I jerk my hand out and grab the nearest piece of clothing I could grab – it was my hoodie. With a lot of difficulty, I tie the muddied up piece of clothing over my lower body, hopefully managing to cover majority despite the water's unwanted interference.

Feeling a bit less exposed with the hoodie for protection, I surface out of the water a bit more, but still keep the rest of my body, from the shoulder down, underwater.

"Hello?" I call out. "Anybody there?"

Silence.

"Uhm," I begin to fidget. I hear the water swoosh with my sudden anxious movements. "Marco?"

"Polo." I hear the voice of a girl answer me sheepishly.

"You, there," I say, pointing to the direction I guessed the voice was coming from. "Show yourself."

And – what do you know – Allison appears from behind the tree. She slowly walks over to me, but I jump backwards when I remember how little clothing I had on me. In Hades' name, I was taking a bath!

"A-A-Allison!" I say, as smooth and suave as always. "W-whatareyoudoinghere?" I spout out a mouthful in a second.

She smiles and takes another step forward. I take another step back. "Don't go any closer," I say. "Notwearinganyclothes," I whisper as fast as I can, growing increasingly red by the second.

She giggles and walks over the branch with my clothes hanging limply on them. She grabs the boxers and walks back to me. She bends down and stretches her hand out, gripping firmly onto the bright yellow boxers. I lunge forward and place a hand over her eyes.

"Close your eyes," I say. She places her free hand over my mind, and I have to struggle to slip it away from her face. I take the boxers from her, place her other hand over her eyes as well, and jump out of the water.

Luckily, I was successfully able to tie the hoodie to cover what was supposed to be covered. I wipe myself dry as fast as I can and slip on the boxers.

As if on cue, she stands up, her hands no longer covering her eyes, and faces me. I smile awkwardly as I reach for my white undershirt.

She slips her hand inside her pocket and takes out a glass vial filled with a sparkling kind of liquid inside.

"Allison, what's that –" I try to ask, but she intercepts me.

"Nico, I love you," she says.

I freeze.

Holy Harpies. What am I supposed to say to that?

"Thanks?" I screech.

Probably shouldn't have been that.

She snickers. "I thought as much."

"Well, I –"

"Just shut up," she shouts.

"Shutting up," I squeak.

"I'm really sorry about what's going to happen next." She starts to unscrew the top of the vial.

"Wait!" I hold a hand out. "Aren't you supposed to do that evil villain thing and tell me your plot right about now?"

She smirks and lets out a laugh that sends goose bumps all over my already cold body.

"Not today, I'm afraid."

And the next moment, Allison throws the sparkling liquid at me. I toss my undershirt at it and barely dodge it in time. I sink into the shadows to avoid getting even a drop of it on me, afraid of what the unknown contents might be. I drag Allison into the shadows and travel us back to my tent.

After the ground spits us back up in my tent, I turn to Allison.

"You better tell me what you're up to –" but as I look at her, I realize that she's out cold.

Whoops. I guess I didn't properly shadow travel her here.

I look around the tent. Luckily, we're all alone, since I'm still in just my boxers having left the rest of my stuff by the lake in all the commotion.

Suddenly unbearably tired, I lean back, and in the next moment, I'm dreaming.

REVIEW!

I was just wondering, was the disclaimer too much? I just felt like adding a little drama to the disclaimer since I couldn't find another, much wittier way to say it.

Anyway... two updates, in less than a month! What an improvement, right? Now, doesn't this make up for that long hiatus I took? I'm sure it does! Hahaha.

Okay, so, I had to split this chapter into two parts since I didn't want to squish too much into it. But I did, however, pan out the rest of the story (yes, I wrote it down. It's official). I'm planning on making it about 11 chapters, 12 maximum.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If I recall correctly, this is the longest chapter to date? Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it anyhow!

I'm sorry if it gets a bit confusing. I'm going to do some major explaining in the next chapters, I promise.

Sincerely - Schoe. :)

PS. As of today, I've been in fanfiction for a year! I guess this is my celebration. :) Haha, I didn't even notice before!