rainclawwarriorcat Productions presents the 2nd chapter of 20 Ways to Make the Naruto Characters Want to Kill You featuring Sasori and Deidara!
Please Enjoy and R&R.

I was humming the tune of Afternoon of Konoha loudly when I entered the cave where the Akatsuki were hiding. "Sa-a-a-a-a-aaa-So-o-o-o-o-Riii?" I called Sasori's name in the tune of the song. "You there?" I looked around the cave, peeking around every fingertip of the two giant hands.

Kisame answered instead. "He's not here. But I can fetch him for you, Rain." He grinned; his sharp teeth almost seemed to shine.
"Yeah, thanks." I nodded, "How do you get your teeth to be so clean." I added under my breath.

A few minutes later, Sasori appeared, and Shark-guy didn't seem to be with him. "Where's Kisame, Puppet-boy." I asked.

"Stop calling me that, Rainclaw." He rasped in his puppet armor. "And Kisame won't be in this world for much longer.

I shuddered. "Won't—won't be in this world for…much longer…?" I nodded quickly, "Ok, ok. And stop calling me that. Just call me Rain. Rainclaw's too long."

"Fine, Rain." He hissed my name with venom. "What do you want? I have other things to do and you know I hate to keep people waiting."

I started laughing like a maniac. No, actually, like a maniac is an understatement. And Sasori wasn't happy, because he knew I was wasting his time. "I'm sorry." I wiped a tear from my face. "Right, right. I'm not here to waste your time—whatever you may think—Puppet-boy. I'm actually here to ask you something."
He was getting very ticked off at this point. I was very careful to pronounce each of my words slowly and act as if I was talking to a little kid.

"And what might that something be, Rain." Again, my name was filled with hatred. "As I said before, I especially hate to keep people waiting."

"Right, that." I grinned. I had no exact purpose for coming here, so I had to think of one, quickly before Sasori decides to kill me. "I," cough, "just want to," cough, "know," cough. A light bulb appeared over my head. "What you look like without you puppet armor!" But of course, I already knew. "Rumors are…" I whispered in his ear, or what I though to be his ear. "That you're pretty hot." I smirked.

I could picture him blushing, but then I though he could never do such a thing. "Teehee." I laughed, stepping away from him.

"Well, if that's all, I won't have to keep Deidara waiting." He said, and stepped a little closer to me. "But just to let you know…" Closer, and closer. "The rumors are true."

"I though you didn't like to keep people waiting." I said. "Hurry up." He opens his puppet mouth to speak, but closes it again, as if he had just notices the time and wanted to leave.

"Alright, then." He stripped off his Akatsuki cape to reveal the puppet armor he's always wearing. The back of the puppet opened and out came the real Sasori. His head was faced down, like an unanimated puppet and he was wearing another Akatsuki cape. Curly red hair covered his face until he lifted his head up. Curly red hair, and brown eyes. And as the rumors said, he was hot.

"There. I'll take my leave now." Sasori said, turning away to leave the Akatsuki layer.

"Wait!" I said, determined to make him want to kill me. I took out my laptop from my bag and opened it up. Microsoft Word Document. I opened a new one and started typing.

Sasori's Akatsuki cape changes colors, the red cloud and inside of the cape turning pink, the cape turning light blue, and the outline of the cloud staying white. Sasori admires his new garment approvingly and nods before leaving to join Deidara.

Deidara, now looking very girly in the new cape, waits impatiently for Sasori to finally arrive.

"Sasori, my man," he says, "I thought you hated to keep people waiting." Sasori just grunts and walks past Deidara.

"Aren't we going to out actual meeting place now?" He asks. Deidara nods and they walk side-by-side to they're so called "Meeting Place", which just so happens to be a hot spring.

As they arrive at the hot spring, an old lady welcomes them by saying, "Hello there, gentleman, lady. How are you today?" She smiled widely and slid open the main door.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" Deidara shouted throughout the whole building.

"Lady?" The woman frowned. "Why?"

"Because I'm a guy! HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL?"

The woman gasped and blushed. "I'm sorry, sir. Please forgive me!"

"Fine." Deidara snapped. "Sasori, why do everybody think I'm a girl! I mean… I don't have…" He gestured his chest. "Things right here! Only Konan does!"

Sasori sighed. "Deidara. Onto our mission."

"Right." The gender-bended art-obsessed idiot nodded. "What was is again?"

Silence, that's what it was.

I quickly deleted it all, but the aftershock soon came.

I started laughing, but stopped after a few seconds, after realizing that Deidara and Sasori would both hate me for this.

And they did. I waited at the Akatsuki cave for a while before they appeared again.

"Rain." Deidara was so close to my face I could feel his warm breath. "I'll make you explode." And me, knowing my perverted self, took it the wrong way. "R—really? Deidara, I didn't know….You felt this way about…Me…" Of course it was a joke, but Deidara wasn't laughing.

"It means I'll kill you, you idiot!" He stepped away from me. "Dammit! I swear I'll kill you!"

"Riiiiiiiiiight." I laughed. "Sasori? Anything else to say?" I turned to him

"Just 3 words. I hate you."

"I know, Sasori, I know."
"I hate you too, Rain, don't forget me."
"Oh, I didn't forget you Deidara. I know." I smirked.

Deidara: Why did you just make me go through that?

Sasori: I hate you Rain.

Deidara: Oh, yeah, she'll pay for this.

Me: Uh-oh. Maybe I should go.

Thanks for reading! If you don't review, I'll set Deidara and Sasori on you with my powahs!
Sasori & Deidara: Oh no you don't.