Chapter 3

A/N: You all should feel very privelaged…I've never updated a story as quickly or as often as it seems I'm updating this one (: I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to personally respond to each person's reviews, but they were all so inspiring that I kind of couldn't stop writing this one…seriously, my AP World homework is sitting on the floor next to me, blank I might add, as proof. So, I guess all I can say is I'm really thankful to all of the readers and especially to the reviewers, no matter how much or how little you say, it really means a lot to read what you think about a chapter. Anyway, without further ado, enjoy the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't think America lets you own anything until you at least have a credit score, so no, Grey's Anatomy is not mine.

She entered Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital for the first time in four years. She was instantly hit with memories, some good, some bad, some of the best moments of her life, and some of the worst. She blocked out all of those memories though, because that's all they were. Aside from her friends here, she wanted a new start. She didn't want to be the girl that Derek Shepherd stepped on time and time again anymore; she had grown into a bigger person, into an independent surgeon. Finally, she was free of her mother, free of her father, free of rumors, free of every label that anyone had ever tried to give her in this place. The only tie she hoped to have with that man was the one they would gain from their research, and even in that, she hoped not to stick out amongst the group of neurosurgeons. All she wanted was to for once blend in in this forsaken hospital, and to just do her job. That's it.

That hope was squelched when she heard a familiar voice from a familiar person.

"Grey!" Mark Sloan shouted in his overly testosterone filled baritone. She cringed and stilled her movements, knowing that there was no possible way these next, hopefully only four, months would go by without incident. She turned slowly on one heel, and gave a tight smile, "Hi, Mark." It wasn't that she didn't like Sloan, in fact, she really liked him, but he was Derek's best friend, and so this reunion, she assumed, would be awkward, by default.

"What in the hell are you doin' here?" he asked with a wide smile on his face and confusion in his eyes, not giving her time to respond before scooping her into a bear hug. When he set her back down, he looked her up and down a few times with his hands on his hips, not like he was checking her out, but more similar to how relatives always fawn over how big you've gotten at the holidays. Well good, she thought, at least he's less of a man whore now that he and Lexie are together again. She had to give him a slight smile at the thought – it looked like she wasn't the only person who'd grown up in the past four years. "I'm here for the neuro studies. It's me, and a few doctors from other hospitals back East, which reminds me, I'm kind of running late to meet them all, Mark…" she hoped he'd get the gist when he started to walk, but that was shattered when he turned back to look at her, "Well come on then, Grey. We can walk and talk; I'll show you where you're at. It's been so damn long since you showed your face in Seattle that you probably don't even remember where Derek's office is" she watched him cringe a little at mentioning Derek, but she shook her head at him before he could start backtracking.

"Mark, seriously, you can mention Derek. I worked here for 6 years, so yes, I remember my way around, but I am glad to walk with you anyway" she smiled at him when he let out a breath of relief, "but, things haven't changed. I am here" by force, she added mentally, "and me and Derek will work together, and then I'll go back to Boston. Okay?" she looked at him pointedly, and he knew that whether or not he thought what she had just said actually was okay didn't matter, so he just nodded.

"Okay. I can do nonchalance. But promise me lunch or dinner or something, alright?" he looked hopeful. The truth was, Mark had missed Meredith just as much as Lexie or Yang or Karev – she was his co-founder of the dirty mistress club – he just wasn't allowed to show it openly very often because he was Derek's friend, and he couldn't very well join in on the bad mouthing of him around the hospital…well, not frequently, anyway.

"Sure, Mark. I'm staying at home so just drop in whenever" she said as she adjusted her lab coat. She frowned "…with food. I still don't cook. Now I've really got to go. I'm late." Before he could respond she was already speeding around the corner towards Derek's office. He shook his head while staring after her. It seemed like she was still living in just a large bubble of denial as Derek was, hers just seemed a little brighter. Speaking to no one in particular, he shook his head and said "Some things never change. I guess Grey is one of 'em." He turned around and spotted Callie; he smiled. "Hey Torres!" he waited for her to stop walking before he continued, "A little birdie tells me that Grey is here." She looked at him like he had two heads for a moment, "Yes. She's been here just about every day…for the past 9 years" she spoke slowly and enunciated. Mark rolled his eyes and draped his arm over her shoulder, "Seriously? I know I'm the pretty one, but I'm not dumb. The other Grey is here…ya know, Big Grey." She stared blankly for half a second before it clicked and a bright smile ran across her face. "Ooh. Looks like things could get interesting around here again. Good timing too, since you entered the world of monogamy again." He nodded in agreement and they walked down the hall together in search of Arizona and, well, really anyone else who would listen.

Freaking awesome. I'm running through the halls like a lunatic, I'm five minutes late, and I'm the leading neurosurgeon's ex, she thought to herself, what an impression. She stopped herself when she arrived at Derek's office, and paused for a moment to catch her breath. After a few deep ones, she turned the handle slowly and walked into the room. It still looked mostly the same, with a few added photographs. This wasn't really the way she had wanted this meeting to go. She had originally imagined that she would arrive first, about ten or fifteen minutes early, explain to Derek that she was who Mass Gen had chosen to send for this case, and ask him to let the past go and stay professional for the duration of her stay.

That hadn't exactly worked out.

No. Instead, she walked into the room with a sheepish apology on her lips that didn't quite make it out of her mouth as she took notice of him. He looked good. He always did. His hair was a little more disheveled and longer than it had been, and she noticed that the once faint dark circles surrounding his eyes had become more pronounced. He was stronger though. She could see it in the way his scrubs clung to his chest and shoulders. The other two surgeons in the room had turned in her direction as soon as Derek had and nodded politely, but other than that they didn't seem to mind. Derek, however, was a different story.

"Meredith?" he widened his eyes, as if trying to establish whether or not she was really standing in front of him. He racked his brain quickly, trying to find any source of information that should have led him to believe that Meredith would be the surgeon in from Mass General. He knew, of course, that someone from their department would be joining the study, but he hadn't really let himself believe that it could ever be Meredith. She was still a young attending, he had thought, surely they have others with more seniority that they will send. Or, if that failed, because he knew Meredith had long since proven that she was the best their department had to offer, he would tell himself there was no way, whether they asked her to or not, that Meredith would come work on any study or trial with him in Seattle. Apparently, he had been wrong, because despite all of their past history, she was standing in front of him, breathless, from what he assumed was her running to try and not be late to the first meeting between all four of the doctors. His thoughts were shaken by her voice.

"Dr. Shepherd" she spoke tersely, "it's been a while, my apologies to everyone for being late." Then she sat down, almost imperceptibly raising a beautifully manicured eyebrow over glaring blue-green eyes at him, almost daring him to go any further in this conversation, and warning him that if he did want to gear up for battle, it was one that he wouldn't win. He could barely contain his confusion, As if 'it's been a while' explained everything, as if they were two people who had met once or twice briefly and that was it. But she was his wife. He knew it and she knew it, despite whatever game or angle she was playing at. She wanted professional cordiality, fine. He could do that, he knew how to be civil, regardless of his most recent impressions on her. "That's fine Dr. Grey. As I was saying…"

The meeting went off without a hitch. As Meredith walked through the corridors of Seattle Grace, she was thankful for that. She had popped into one of Christina's patient's rooms, and Christina had agreed to meet Meredith at her house after her shift. It had been a good day, she decided with a small smile painted across her face, but that thought was replaced with something akin to panic as she felt herself being yanked into an on-call room. Her heart was palpitating at a rapid pace and she was mentally trying to remember the steps to beating your attacker that she had seen in a Sandra Bullock movie, umm, nose, crotch, toe? Yeah, I'll go with – her train of thought was lost when she took note of a pair of very familiar blue eyes that were across from her. Derek. It figures.

"What the hell are you doing, Derek!" She shoved him away from her so that she could have space to push herself off the back of the door.

He smirked. "I was just wondering how my wife, whom I haven't seen two years, is suddenly in my hospital, working on my study, and I had absolutely no idea about it" he flashed a smile. She opened her mouth to respond but he shook his head 'no' and placed his index finger over her lips and continued talking. "Never mind, don't answer it. I don't care how it happened. It's just" he cupped her cheek gently with his palm, "I thought, you – and last time, in Boston, but it doesn't matter, I," he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I, you said you weren't coming back, that you wouldn't. But you're here" he had somehow managed to back her into the door once again, but as he bent his neck to connect his lips with hers, his chest was once again met with the butt of her palms.

"Seriously? Seriously! You think that I would come here, make it so that miraculously it was me who was chosen to work on your study, just so that I could be with you? Did you listen to a thing I said when you came to Boston? Huh? I said never again. That didn't mean in six months, or two years, or when my shitty luck forced me into a trial in Seattle! It meant I was done Derek. I was done when I left Seattle, and I was much done when you came to Boston, and I am still done. Ugh, it's like all that stupid hair on top of your stupid head is overheating your stupid brain!" she fumed at him, and shook her head in disgust. "Seriously" she mumbled under her breath as she reached for the door knob, but her arm was caught midair.

"I…don't understand. You're back" his eyes lit up just at the thought of her return, "if you didn't want to be with me again, then, why?"

"So that I could keep my job! The one that's in Boston, where I live. It didn't seem appropriate to tell my boss that I couldn't go do groundbreaking research in the name of the hospital because I didn't want to be within a thousand foot radius of my stupidly talented neurosurgeon husband!" She scoffed, "God, you're so arrogant. Everything is about you, except, and I hope this makes it through the hair, it's not. This is strictly professional, so don't pull me into empty on-call rooms, don't look at me like you've seen me naked, and stop talking to me like we're together. We're not. We won't be. Just stop it, Derek." She yanked her arm out of his hand and walked out of the room, leaving a shocked Derek in her wake.

Derek stood there, stunned into silence, unsure of what had just happened. She came back. And okay, maybe pulling her into an on-call room and presumptuously assuming that she would want sex was probably moving a little fast, but he didn't understand why they couldn't move past it. It was like he was realizing for the first time that maybe she really didn't want to be with him. Maybe she really didn't want to go back to how they were. He had been lying to himself for quite a while about his feelings for Meredith, and when he returned from Boston two years ago, he had lived in his wonderful land of denial where them not being together was for the best once again, but he didn't think he could do it now.

Not when he could hear her talking to her friends, and laughing at Mark's jokes. Not when he had to be in a room with her all day, for months on end, and be able to smell her lavender vented conditioner because she was in such a close proximity to him. Not when they would have to pass each other in the hallways, or when she would have to consult on his patients, or when he would go home to the house that had originally been built for them, but that he had lived in alone for the majority of the time since its construction. Not when he was only fifteen minutes from where he assumed she would be staying, in her mother's old house, and he could vividly picture all the nights spent wrapped beneath her covers, their limbs tangled with each other's. No, pretending was easier when she was out of sight, when the only times he could see her was when he conjured up her image. With her in the same hospital as him, he knew for a fact that he wouldn't be able to do as she asked of him, he could never stop it – he only wished he would have realized that he wasn't himself without her years earlier.

More to come soon I hope (: Tell me what you guys think, too. Was Derek too OOC in this chapter? Also, I kind of want to see how everyone feels about a MerDer reunion, ya know, like what it is your expecting or hoping for. I write this story as I go along, so I can incorporate ideas if I feel they can fit into the basic premise of the story. Leave a review and tell me how you felt about it, like, love, or hate, I want to know!