Chapter Five: Are You Sexing Me Up?

"Granger!"

Hermione walked even quicker. One foot in front of the other, only another few meters and she was safe. She was almost at the fat lady, all she had to do was say Hildegard Higglebottom and she in her common room, away from Malfoy.

"Granger wait!" he yelled after her. She could hear the ire in his voice. The moment they had locked eyes as she passed the prefect bathroom, he had been on her tail.

"Can't, I'm a very busy girl. Busy, busy, busy" she sang as she turned the corner.

"I have to talk to you!" Malfoy huffed as he cut her off and stood in front of her.

Hermione looked him up and down, with a satisfied smirk. He looked ridiculous; after all, he had been on his way to the bathroom. So he was barely dressed in a robe and slippers, carrying his toothbrush and towel over his hand. "Are you trying to seduce me Malfoy?" she muttered crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

"What, no!" he said shaking his head in frustration "Listen, I think we need to make a truce, and write up a contract, and maybe..." he stuttered, looking absolutely lost. What had gotten into him? Ever since they found out about the curse yesterday, he had been hounding her. And for what? This issue was not going to be resolved so easily. Didn't Malfoy know better? Hermione needed time, time to find a spell to break this curse, and if he continued to aggravate her, she was more and more likely to have a slip of the wand.

"-what happened to your neck?" Hermione asked, cutting him off and zeroing in on his jaw line. He had sliced himself multiple times in his pathetic attempt at shaving, and he had missed a few light hairs.

His grey eyes widened in bewilderment, and he ran his hand across his neck. "Oh, I cut myself shaving" he said quickly "Anyway, I have an-".

"- looks like you did a poor job" Hermione muttered in vague interest.

"This is hardly important; there is a larger issue here!" He exclaimed in exasperation.

"You, know, next time, you should try standing about ten centimetres closer to the blade" Hermione smiled "it's much more effective" She walked around him and bee-lined for the fat lady.

"Hey, I ran after you in only my robe, it's totally embarrassing! Can't you just give me ten minutes!" he said angrily as she walked away.

"Oh, well, maybe you should slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?" Hermione suggested as the fat lady swung open.

"Granger, you can't ignore me forever, you know we have to figure this out!" he yelled after her as she climbed though the hole. The picture swung shut. Malfoy stood in the hallway breathing heavily.

"ARG!" he screamed throwing his toothbrush on the floor.

Hermione had exhausted most of her resources. This spell was something beyond her knowledge at Hogwarts. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, closing her thirty-fourth book and leading back against the couch.

The common room was empty, surprising for a Saturday night...well, it used to be surprising anyway. With less than twenty people left in the dorm, she could understand how the late night parties died. Just four years ago, she reminded herself, four years ago, in fourth year, things had been much simpler at this time. Fred and George would have been causing havoc right now, and she would have been running after them. Ron would still have been on Lavender's tail, Harry fretting over what now seemed to be a million trivial things.

Bernie Botts, chocolate frogs, and butterbeers...things she hadn't eaten in over a year. Food that seemed like it belonged to a totally different world. And how the room seemed so large now, ridiculously over furnished. Too many chairs, and tables, when there was no one to sit there. But, four years ago, it was impossible to get a good seat.

Well, things were different now, very different. Hermione had just received word that hers and Malfoy's parents were to have a meeting next week. An absolutely terrifying prospect for both of them. Hermione needed to find a solution to their issue before then, otherwise, there would be more complications than possible to handle. But as fair as she could grasp, this was a different kind of magic. And ancient magic that just pulled forces already available into play. Nobody had created their hate, just had encouraged its physical manifestation. It would have been an extraordinary help to have known who did it, but Hermione didn't count on ever finding out. There were more than a few witches and wizards left over with that kind of power.

Hermione pulled herself off the floor and looked around the empty room again. As sad as the picture was, this place was all she had. She was too old to rely on her parents, and she had spent less time with them in the last ten years than she had here, this was her real home. What would leaving Hogwarts be like? Could she walk out those front doors and be at peace with the fact she no longer belonged here. In two months, she'd know.

Draco threw the book at the wall.

"Oooow" it said angrily.

Ridiculous, preposterous, completely, and totally, "stupid!" he muttered. Nothing in these books was going to help him lift this enchantment. And Granger was being absolutely unhelpful in the matter. Why couldn't she just listen to him, all he wanted was her help to fix this!

But, it was brainless of him to assume that Granger hadn't already looked for a solution in a book. That was what she was known for, her motto. Life throws you a curveball, head to the library! If Granger couldn't find anything, what hope did he have? And ever growing concern began to eat at him. Their parents had to meet next week. It was like an ominous black cloud over him, there were only two outcomes of that meeting, and either way, it meant one dead body. He sighed in frustration and dropped on the chaise lounge. Doomed, that was it; he was officially doomed to death, or a life with Granger. The former currently taking precedent.

"Cheer up"

"Sure, let me just take my magic potion, and I'll be as chipper as Bambi" Hermione muttered as she poked her toast.

"You know, I'm sure we could arrange that...if you needed that potion" Ron said seriously, leaning over the table towards her, a bit of jam dangling from the corner of his mouth. Hermione forced a smile.

"No, it wouldn't do any lasting good" she shrugged.

"So, what then?"

"I don't know. But I wish I had purchased life insurance earlier, I'd hate to leave my parents with the full cost of a funeral bill" she said sourly.

"Hermione, it won't come to that" Harry said sitting down next to her.

"Sure, how would you know?"

"Well, even if you give up, Malfoy has an incredibly strong survival instinct, as we've all seen" he said alluding to the small ditch Malfoy hid in for a month to escape Voldemort. "And his parent's will likely bail you two out of it anyway"

"Or, I could smother him with a pillow?" Hermione suggested.

"You'd have to wait until we're out of Hogwarts, you know it has that...um, that thing about it" Ron mumbled trying to slick the jam off his face. He missed and it fell from his lips onto his shirt.

"Ron, I've read Hogwarts: A History over a hundred times. I'm well aware of the protective spells in the castle, plus, I wasn't being totally serious" she added sourly handing him a tissue. Hermione sighed and looked back at her plate. She was positively miserable about the whole thing.

"Here comes your fiancé" Harry whispered across the table, his eyes flickering to the door.

Hermione looked up to see Malfoy striding into the hall with Blaise at his heels. Well, he didn't look in the least bit worried to her. They locked eyes for a moment, but Malfoy continued over to his table, thankfully.

"Wow, cold" Ron added in amusement.

"Nothing funny about that Ron" Hermione frowned.

"Nothing funny at all" Harry added.

"Granger"

"You know, every time you say my name like that, I feel like looking for the nearest window to jump out of" Hermione said snidely. He had waited for her to finish breakfast by the doors. And now Malfoy was here to make matters much worse.

"Please be my guest, you'd save the both of us a lot of grief if you died. Plus, you go out while people still remembered you as the smartest witch of our generation, and not Malfoy's wife" he replied coolly.

"Hardly, if anything, people would remember you as 'Granger's pathetic wimp of a husband, who is no good for her, because the smartest witch of our generation deserves someone who isn't so light headed'. Or something like that" she smiled.

"Sure" he sighed rolling his eyes "We have to figure out this parent thing pronto" Malfoy crossed his arms and lent against the wall, as though settling in for a long discussion.

"Nothing to figure out" Hermione shrugged.

"What?"

"Whoever walks out of there alive wins, simple as that. And I know my dad bought a new shotgun. I don't think wizards are impervious to lead" Hermione mused.

"It's not funny Granger. We have to resolve this, we have to work through this as an engaged couple, and as equals" he said seriously.

"Well, you must have an awful opinion of people if you consider us your equals" she laughed loudly, "Honestly, equals?"

"My opinion is not the issue! It's your stupid friend's scarhead, and weasel. They are making this harder for you and me" Malfoy said angrily, standing straight again.

"You know Malfoy, involving my friends in this isn't the best way to make me like you. It doesn't exactly make me swoon when you attempt to insult the most important people in my life" Hermione frowned.

"Well, I'm not trying to sex you up, last thing on my mind, really" Malfoy said scowling "I'm trying to resolve some of our issues"

"They have nothing to do with what is occurring between you and me, besides they spend their time carefully crafting their opinions of you. Ron, and Harry try to add as much vituperation in their comments as possible" Hermione said in rage. He was bleeding mad. This was not going to resolve any issue for them at all. How did he not get it? Their issues would never be resolved, Malfoy should just have given up by now. The whole thing was pointless.

"You spend all your time listening to them trash talk me, it's bound to cause you to be uncompromising with me" Malfoy said in a calculated manner, almost as though he had given this whole theory a lot of thought.

Hermione scoffed and laughed loudly. Harry and Ron had little influence with regards to how she felt about Malfoy. The annoyance and the wrath were all hers, they didn't create this burning hate, it was all Malfoy's doing. Why was he looking for scapegoats when he knew very well how this was going to turn out? "What do you want me to do about it?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

"I don't know, kill them?" he suggested casually.

"Malfoy, if I had to kill everyone who hated you, it wouldn't be murder, it would be genocide" Hermione smiled wryly.