Chapter two:
Tuer Tir
The interview was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
He wears an invisible armour that will shoot you down before you even stand up, and something about it is addictive.
I went home at the usual time, arrived back at around 6:30pm, I took my jacket off and placed it on the same hook I've placed it on for three years, I went to the kitchen and made Coffee, the same Coffee I've been drinking for more years than I care to remember. Such a box. A box that I'm trapped in, I built the walls of it, the cardboard steel that holds me in and pushes me back down every time I allow my mind to think of something erratic, something unusual, some thing….enchanting.
My mind goes straight to him now, every last word I used to describe the thoughts I run away from are the only words that describe him perfectly.
The kettle starts to whistle loudly and I snap out of my daydreams, returning to the kitchen I pour the water, when suddenly "Fuck!" I exclaimed as I poured the boiling water on my hand, it had only been a matter of seconds yet my thoughts had gone completely off the task at hand, and back to…that.
I decided to do more investigation on his past, his case, that must be the only reason why it's taking up my mind so much, it's because I don't understand. I need to learn about him, teach myself every trick of his past, every flaw, every mistake, every happy moment he's ever had and then next week when he returns to sit in the same chair, in the same room, he won't seem like such a big deal, because I'll be able to read him like a book.
Sunlight drowns my room in a golden shimmer and blinds me as I open my eyes. It's ironic how such a beautiful sight can hurt our eyes, it's almost as if it's too beautiful for us to deal with. For a second I was still in my dream, elated, free, exhausted and vibrant. And yet he dominated my dream that night, I was stuck in a pitch black house, there was no lighting, no where familiar, I could hear him shouting my name "AMBER! AMBER!" he yelled for me with panic and fear in his voice, and I was searching for him, terrified that something was hurting him, my heart was breaking into my rib cage, forcing me to choke on my own breaths. I stumbled and felt my way around the walls, and finally found a door. I could hear him inside, crying, whimpering like a small child that lost his mother, I turn the handle and rush into the room to run to him, comfort him, hold him and keep him safe yet…..he's not there.
The door slams ferociously behind me, I was drowned in black, my eyes were open but there was nothing to see, nothing to indicate what was about to happen to me.
Suddenly there's a voice behind me, it sounds far away, it's echoing all around me and I dare not turn around. Before I can even blink the singing voice is at my ear, whispering it's tune, breathing hot air on my neck, and placing a forceful hand on my waist, which grips me in place. I'm going no where and I know it. "Tick tock, Tick tok, such a beautiful shock, and the acid clocks your hours away, tick tok, have another shot, burn your lungs into dust and let your shadow lead the way". He was right behind me, he tricked me, now I was the whimpering child who lost her mother as his hand moved from my waist, and slide long delicate fingers around my throat. "Tick tok, Amber choked, but it doesn't matter, she was dead anyway".