"Fuck Edward. Why do you have to be so stupid?" I growled under my breath in the car. My hands were gripped tightly to the steering wheel and I was pretty sure if I clenched them any tighter it would break. My anger was growing and the transformation was edging to happen. "No, I can't change." I told myself. "If you change, you're going to blow everything." I reasoned. I was still so mad at Edward. I mean why did he have to take this so lightly, when obviously it had gotten serious?
I shook my head. "Damn him." I cursed. I pulled into our yard and jumped from the truck, taking a jog through the woods. I needed to clear my head, be away from people. Edward had drawn me in a while ago. Back when we first met, it had been thanks to Bella. Well let's back up to when I met Bella. I was ten Bella Swan walked into my life. She was different than most. She liked playing in the mud and didn't do mushy girly stuff like the other girls I knew. Her Dad, Charlie and my dad had become friends.
"Hey I'm Bella. Bella Swan." She stuck her hand out to me. I looked at her and smiled. "Jacob Black. Do you wanna go play?" I had asked eagerly. "Yeah let's make mud pies together." She suggested. And so our friendship began. When she left Forks I had no one to really play with. Then seven years later she moves to Forks. I was surprised to see her. It made me happy.
Then when she started school, I didn't get to see her too much. I had heard some Edward kid was dating her. As the relationship turned serious I practically told her he was a vampire and I cautioned her, which of course she ignored. She ended up getting hurt, but stayed in Forks. I met Edward on her prom night and he struck me with interest. The next summer I kissed Edward, which was definitely taboo for the both of us. So the perfect get away was when Bella cut herself at the Cullen's. There was a small fall out which gave Edward the perfect excuse to leave.
Bella came running to me, but of course I began to turn into a werewolf. This made things even more complicated since I was naturally born to kill Edward's kind. But I pretended like I was falling for Bella when all I could think of was Edward. Meanwhile I was hunting a vampire named Victoria, looking to kill Bella, Bella decides to jump off a fucking cliff and almost drown. Edward thinks she is dead and then he tries to kill himself because he thinks Bella's death was his fault. Bella went to save him and he is happy to know she is alive.
When Edward returns we secretly met and ended up going all the way. Now we were totally involved. The whole double life thing became more and more complicated and we ended up having to hide just to see each other. So Edward bought a secret apartment just outside Forks. We made sneaking off a regular thing, but then the lies got more complicated. Somehow I ended up supposedly 'loving' Bella and Edward thought it'd be a better lie if he proposed to her. I was too caught up in the whole wolf pack thing to care. I was so dumb to have agreed to that.
Lying to Bella got more and more complicated and eventually Edward married her. Bella was itching to have sex with him, so he couldn't stop her from having sex with him on their honeymoon, which resulted in my darling Renesmee. Edward had to change Bella once Renesmee was born. Then to make matters even worse, I ended up imprinting on Renesmee. And now here we are in this awful situation.
It was our own modified version of Russian Roullette. On one hand we lived lives where we were in love with women. And then secretly me and Edward were passionately loving each other. It was a lot to deal with. Soon the truth was going to come out and neither of us will know how to handle it. Would we cover up the truth with more lies? Or will the truth sound so crazy that no one will believe it? Eventually something fucked up was going to happen again.
I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Seth, Sam, Quil, Embry, and Paul come up. They howled at me and I snapped out of my head. "What is it?" I asked. Sam shifted back into form. "Jacob we have to help Leah, she's in trouble. Come on you have to shift." He said in a rush. My stomach tightened. "I can't Sam. I'm on a shifting break." I told him. He looked at me with ferocity. "That's an Alpha order Jacob." He barked, before changing back and running off with the others. "Damn it all to hell." I had to shift.