Anna's side was still tender in the morning, but the doctor agreed there seemed to be no damage to the ribs, and the worried Scot sighed of relief. So for the rest of the day they could concentrate on the turkey, which needed regular care while nesting in the oven, and to the rest of the treasures for the table. And to Anna's utter delight, after midday there was a knock on the door, and carrying a couple of boxes in walked restaurant-owner Joe and his daughter, from whom George had asked a bit of help to the dinner table. Joe's wife Gertie hadn't forgotten Ray either, and the scent of different pies tickled everybody's noses.
"Now get off and go home to take care of your own, Joe. And here's a wee something for you..." with a wink of an eye the Scot handed his friend a gift box, and a peek in it made a broad smile spread on Joe's face.
"My goodness, I haven't been able to get this anywhere! Does it taste as good as in old days?"
A warning finger was raised. "The drink is just as good but you are not, so you'd better be careful!" Anna and Joe's daughter were shaking their heads most disapprovingly at the laughing old men and that only added to their mirth.
Ray and Bodie came early, and despite their smart clothing, they didn't look much perkier than the night before, although both claimed they had caught a few hours' sleep after the preliminary interrogations. Bodie limped but was able to put some weight on the foot, and Ray seemed to have hard time keeping his eyes open. They were still most exhilariated when their chief finally told them about the visit of the Home Secretary, which Anna avenged by adding the comments from Gui's visit the day before.
Then Bodie remembered. "We took the liberty to bring your mail from the HQ, Sir. The ones that looked personal." He handed over a pile of envelopes from his briefcase.
Anna went to give the turkey the last anointment, as she said, while their host poured both his men drinks and took a quick glimpse on the letters. Most of them he dismissed instantly but looked at one with interest. "From Aberdeen... Duncan Lennox!" He quickly opened the envelope, and both Ray and Bodie leaned forward to listen.
"Dear Sir, it looks like I never get the chance to phone you within working hours, so I thought to write a note to wish you a Merry Christmas. Och bother! But let's see... Please give my regards to agents Bodie and Doyle, the bottle of Cutty Shark gave me again very vivid memories. So, looks like he hasn't been as hung over as after that first one. Also Gramps sends his best regards to agents and thanks them for the fine sherry. We get to share it as he stays with me over the holidays... Hmh. What else? Och! Listen to this, lads! I have been thinking I might sometimes try to get some more experience about other cities than Aberdeen. I don't know if you would have any use for me, being a kind of Special force and me only a usual copper, but if you sometime have any sort of apprentice-vacancy, no matter how temporary, open for application, I would be most happy to know."
"Well, lads? Do we have an apprentice-vacancy open for application to young Lennox? Doyle?" The Controller took away his glasses.
"Oh hell, yes! Besides he can carry Bodie if the idiot again bloody forgets how stairs work." Ray grinned, clearly pleased.
"Bodie?" The agent was pulling faces at Ray.
"Is there a phone-number we can call immediately, or should we wait until the 27th? I'd take that laddie next week if he only gets here that fast."
Anna was amused. "Who's such a superman?"
The men exchanged glances and smiled. "A young copper, PC, from Aberdeen Police. We met him a couple of years ago. Young, quite sharp, very pleasant. Except that he's got some same irritating manners as Bodie." Mr Cowley's eyes were twinkling.
Bodie finished his drink and continued. "He's so damn ordinary that it's really extraordinary. Hell of an inquisitor, he simply chats up everybody and digs things out of you that you'd never even imagined telling."
Ray chuckled. "Yeah, dunno how he does it, he just makes people melt. He's fun. Oh and strong, although he doesn't look bulky or anything."
Anna was pleased. "Good to hear you get someone who would be really an asset then!"
Mr Cowley sighed. "He probably has two month's notice, and in any case he'll need time to arrange things with his apartment and so on. And he'll need training still. But, this was really good news anyway. And now, lads, you finish your drinks and stretch your legs while we set the table." The two men never considered disobeying that order.
When the table and dinner were ready 10 minutes later, both men were sound asleep in their chairs. Mr Cowley was shaking his head. "All right... let's give them 10 minutes more. They will be brighter after that."
Anna agreed. "Maybe we should take the weaker wine anyway, Sir? If they need to return to city today, one of them has to be in decent driving-condition. God how tired they are... If you get Jackson and this Aberdeen-man, how many agents you still are lacking?"
The Controller sighed. "We would still be 7 behind our previous strength. And even then we were hoping to get 4-5 more."
Anna was chewing on her lip, watching her sleeping friends. "To cover even the less dangerous jobs on the field, how many would you need?"
Mr Cowley saw Anna's hand was shaking when she pushed another lock behind her ear, and suddenly realised the woman was dreadfully pale. Shite, they had forgotten a scheduled snack, fiddling with the bigger meal. He quickly steered her to sit at the table, took her apron away and made her very sweet juice for first aid. "Och Anna, you are not in condition to even start thinking about it." He felt genuine remorse and was angry at himself, didn't know whether it was more because of allowing himself that remorse, or because he had talked about the idea earlier.
"Don't you want me to stay and work for CI5 then?" Anna's gaze was steady although her hands were not, and the Scot supported the glass until Anna got it emptied.
"Dammit, lass, I simply want you to make your decision when you are in better form, and especially, when you are not so emotionally torn as you are now. After all you've been through the last couple of months, the last thing you need is any damned extra worry! Och, bloody hell, I shouldn't have said a word about it to begin with..." He looked exasperated.
"If you hadn't said a word, Sir, I would have worried still, seeing those two the way they were last night. Would have worried without having a clue what I could do about it. That would have been hell of a lot worse, Sir." She looked at her hands and tried to force them settle.
"Anna, wait a few months at least so that you know what you want from your life, and if you still want to work for us, then I happily have you in an instant. I arrange you the permission to stay here anyway, it is no problem because the crown is bound to pay for your treatment and rehabilitation as it is. And when you are considerably better you decide. All right?"
But the Scot only saw the pale young woman shake her head. "I'm not pretending I like the idea myself either. But things are as they are. Those two are overburdened. Yes, and I know they are not the only ones. And I also know it can kill them one day!"
Controller was getting angry and pointed at her shaking hands. "Och don't be daft, lass! That's a result of us forgetting one snack. One damned snack! Do you really think I would let you delve into some project when you still have to struggle that hard simply to survive? I appreciate your will to help but listen to sense now and don't be stubborn!"
Her eyes were flaming too. "And I appreciate your concern, but those two and you are half of the people in this world that I have left to love, goddammit!"
They both were so angry that they missed the slip of her tongue, and the Scot slammed the table with his palm. "Och and you think it's only a one-way road? Do you think that I want to risk you? That they would want to risk you even if they knew?"
"Knew what, Sir?"
The two had completely forgotten that the agents were actually present and both cursed under their breaths.
"I'm sorry we disturb, Sir, but we simply kind of couldn't help hearing. You were not exactly whispering." Bodie looked embarrassed and rubbed his temple. "Somehow this sounded like it has something with us to do. And what is the project you talked about?"
Mr Cowley stood up and went to fetch the turkey, and then more juice for Anna, and a bottle of wine. "Sit down now, lads. And start filling your plates. Doyle, you can help yourself to those pies Gertie has made. And Anna, you calm down and finish that juice now. You should start feeling better pretty soon. Bodie, would you mind taking care of her plate too? Filling, not emptying." He needed a moment to calm himself down. Then he, in few sentences told them about Macklin's suggestion, and how seeing the lads hurt and tired had made Anna lean towards it. But how realising the fragility of Anna's health had caused him second thoughts. "That's what we were talking about. I want Anna to wait for a few months longer, but it seems she wants to be silly and try to take one worry more for herself, although skipping one snack already made her almost crash down."
Again Anna's eyes flared. "I may be stubborn but I'm not being silly or stupid!" She forced herself to calm down. "I do know there's not very much I can do physically right now. Maybe only one hour a day at the range, and I'm going to need physio myself, to even be able to aim properly. I am confident I could manage with Jackson though, as she got the hang of it and we got to speak the same language last time. What comes to the rest, at least I can bloody hell sit down to talk with Macklin and give some time and thought to whatever ideas he has in his mind. I can do that before I leave for Mexico as I'm not yet allowed to fly anyway."
The agents were looking at each other with thoughtful faces before Doyle opened his mouth. "What you did with Jackson was really impressive, and we do need people desperately. But not for any price. The chief is right, Anna. You are acting more with your heart than with your head now and I for one don't want to risk you. I know all too well what it is to try to recuperate after injuries."
Anna pointed at him with her fork. "And the latest recuperation both you and Bodie used for studies, you told me that yourself. So what's the bloody difference? That you're a male?"
Ray pointed back. "That I had hurt my back and Bodie his shoulder, not half of our insides, that's the bloody difference! Literally bloody, don't you know that you were on the table for six hours your first operation only? And we had to wait for a fucking 12 hours before we even got to hear you might actually survive the damned next 12?"
Bodie interrupted his short-tempered mate hastily. "Shut up, Ray. That's enough of that. Anna, I also agree with the boss. Don't worry about us."
The Scot nodded, content. "See? Do at least listen to Bodie, lass. Don't think about us, think about yourself."
Anna was shaking her head, desperate. "You're missing my point here, all of you. That's exactly what I am doing, this is purely egoistic from my side. I can't make you change your duties. I can't make you quit. I don't want to try to make anything else out of you that what or who you are. Even if I wanted, I couldn't. But if I can do at least something, which in a few months' run would help to get some burden off your backs, then I am willing to do that. That would feel... worth something. To be able to even try to make some sort of difference and not only watch the dices somebody else has thrown. I've got enough of that already. Dammit, to know you at least get to sleep pretty much the normal hours would make me worry a lot less, because what happened last night, happened only because you were too tired. And don't try to give me any bullshit about it. I've lived with and amongst soldiers all my life." She sighed. "I don't want to lose you. Any one of you. That would be too much to me." The men fell silent.
Finally Mr Cowley sighed. "Och, bloody hell. Will you listen to Stephen then, if I ask for his opinion? If he says it's all right, I will reconsider."
Anna hesitated for a while. "All right, I promise. But only if you promise that he really hears both sides."
"I can promise that." Then the Scot let his commanding gaze go around the table. "And from this moment on, anyone who raises his or her voice, or says something mean, foul, or just generally dirty'ish, will have the honour of doing all the dishes and will miss his or her gift. Plus will be banned from Joe's and Gertie's place for the next year. And Anna, stop pouting at the lads. They care about you."
Anna chewed at her lip. "I'm sorry, Ray. Truce?"
Ray nodded. "Truce." Soon he grinned. "Just crossed my mind that it was a very good thing the Home Secretary didn't hear your... discussion, Sir."
Bodie tried to control his face as best as he could. "Yeah, I agree. If he had, he'd start talking something about trees and apples and so forth. Like father, like son. That kind of things. Sorry, in this case daughter."
Ray chuckled. "And nothing could make him change his mind ever after!"
Both agents were laughing out loud now. Anna and the Scot exchanged a look. "Sir, do you have any idea what these two insolent hecklers are talking about?" Corner of the Controller's mouth started to twitch and soon Anna was again holding her hurting side, in vain trying to suppress her giggling.
"You talked about returning to Mexico". Bodie had hopped with Anna to sit in the garden when she had said she needed fresh air after the dinner, which had continued in a friendly atmosphere.
"Well yeah. I had originally meant to stay here for a couple of weeks only, but... you know. Was delayed."
Bodie sighed. He definitely knew. "When will you leave?"
"It depends on when the doctors think it's safe for my lung to fly. My patience doesn't survive days in a boat. And on when you lot decide to release me from house arrest."
Bodie decided to ignore that last remark. "How long will you stay there?"
She shrugged. "No idea."
Bodie felt his heart sinking and was still wondering whether he would dare to ask, when the question already was aired. "Are you going to return here then?"
Anna already opened her mouth to snap at him, but then thought that maybe he didn't know what she had talked with the Controller the night before. "It depends. But I won't return here to be idle, that's for sure. There's no sense in it."
They sat in silence for a while. It was early dusk, and the lights started to be more clearly visible. "Sorry about Ray." That wasn't anywhere near to what Bodie wanted to say, not with the mistletoe he had managed to hang on a branch above them without Anna noticing. But he simply couldn't voice the things he wanted, needed to ask. "He was... we were... worried, you know."
She gave him a glance. "Mr Cowley and Gui told me yesterday you had arranged guard for me. Thank you. I'm glad you didn't need to have it for a longer time. I hope it was unnecessary."
Bodie didn't know what to say. It had been close he hadn't hit in the teeth of that MI5 – now ex MI5 – whom Gui's guy had handed over to him after the bastard had tried to tell the guards to leave their place. Miserable sorry bugger hadn't guessed they could be other than CI5 men, and he had realised his mistake in a moment and tried to retreat, but the guards had stopped the man and held him until Bodie got there, good men, those Latinos. But there was no need to burden Anna with that.
"Well yeah, we managed to get a grip on things pretty quickly. I don't know if anyone has told you, but Betty managed to recognize the shooter from your tip and we caught him in a couple of hours after that." She frowned. "You know, after she heard what you had written."
The frown deepened. "I don't remember writing anything."
Bodie frowned for a moment he too. "Ok, never mind then. The main thing is that we caught the shooter. And his boss, and a couple of other... baddies." He almost slipped "dirty agents" but managed to swallow that. No need to burden Anna with that either.
"You cold?" Bodie saw Anna shivering inside her coat.
"A little." Her smile was vague. "Have lost my natural protective layers somewhere along the way." Normally Bodie wouldn't have hesitated. He would have given his flashy grin, and started to talk about warming up, and would have tested how warm he could have made a female companion. But Anna, chrissake... he couldn't. Not even this time, he couldn't. So he simply gave her a cuddle, and suggested they would go in again. And he managed to get on his feet and snatch the mistletoe again without Anna noticing.
Inside the house, both Doyle and mr Cowley had been watching. "Well that was a first." Ray was shaking his curly head.
"Now I have seen everything. Bodie shy with a woman!" his chief was astonished. And both thought the same thing they didn't dare to put in words. He is in love.
Anna excused herself for a moment and left the men wait for the coffee the agents had asked for. When she was out of hearing range Ray couldn't help quipping. "Saw you, Bodie. You chickened out!" He punched his mate who looked sheepish.
"Cut it out, Doyle. She seemed so... fragile. And if she leaves... well why mess things up."
Ray was perplexed. He couldn't remember when, or if ever, his mate had been so conscious about a woman without trying to either court or simply seduce her. "Oh well, leave it to me. Uncle Ray shows you how to do it with style." He demanded the mistletoe and managed to hang it on a lamp just before Anna returned. The old Scot followed the developments with great interest. He had for a long time been intrigued by the relationships these two regular Valentinos had with this lady.
In a matter of only a minute, Ray had managed to steer Anna right under the mistletoe. But, the moment he simply should have put his arms around her and given the kiss, Anna asked something from him to which he replied, and then he just watched her face for a moment and gave her a cautious hug. "Try to not have hard feelings on me, eh?" And Bodie's sneering eyes clearly mocked him.
Pastries, candies and fruitcake had suffered heavy casualties during the coffee and the opening of presents. Ray and Bodie had been more than happy to receive hand-painted high-quality helmets and motorcycling gloves meant for winter use, Anna had ordered the helmets – the one with a painted dragon for Ray and the one with a panther's head for Bodie, with the surnames of the lads - already some months ago, and hearing about that, Mr Cowley had bought the gloves. Both men had been very happy indeed, as was Mr Cowley, who had received from Anna a fine book of Japanese poetry accompanied by paintings and drawings, and from the two agents, a hand-made holster for his personal gun with his initials branded to it. And the lads had been relieved to know they would finally have the chance to call it a day, go back to city, have a drink, and sleep just as long into tomorrow as they would need and want.
The agents had left a good hour ago and Anna was looking wide-eyed at beautiful panoramic pictures of Scottish landscapes from the book she had received from her host, a huge box of finest delicious Belgian chocolate from Bodie opened beside her on the sofa. A small framed drawing Doyle had once sketched of her riding Doyle's favourite steed, was already carefully and lovingly tucked inside her bag so that she would have no chance of forgetting or breaking it. Suddenly both the chocolate-box and the book vanished and a plate was placed on her lap, harbouring a sandwich with a thick slice of turkey on it, and a peeled orange. "Despite all the undoubtedly wonderful qualities of chocolate, I don't think it qualifies for Stephen as a kind of healthy snack he ordered you to have. He's a bit old-fashioned, you know. Anyway, you've been on water and juice today, so we add to that now." Mr Cowley took a bottle of sherry from under his arm and poured from it into two glasses. "And uckily Stephen is old-fashioned enough to accept the medical qualities of a little drink."
Anna smiled. "You men always have convenient excuses for everything."
The Controller raised his eyebrow jokingly. "And you women don't, hm?"
Anna tilted her head. "Deuce, maybe?" The Controller nodded smiling and sat beside her.
"You really are pampering me, Sir. Jack would certainly say I should change my name into Molly Coddle if he knew about this."
The Scot chuckled. "Och, don't worry. I'd appreciate if you kept this to yourself, but it is actually nice to have someone to pamper for a change. It's quite a rare occurrence to me, so to speak. And besides, I do know you are not some spoiled rotten... wanton, so I don't mind at all, your company gives me something to think about these holidays, and to occupy myself with." He leaned back looking very relaxed with a glass in his hand. "Anything nice in that book?"
Anna swallowed a chunk and took her glass. "A votre santé, Sir. The landscapes are absolutely magnificent! I'm showing my ignorance here but actually I didn't have much of a picture about the nature of Scotland, with a real winter and everything! Those photos are really astonishing. Do you have family left up there?"
The Scot nodded. "Some, but we are not that much in contact. Ones I've never been that close to."
Anna winked an eye. "Any old girlfriends or flames there?" He shook his head, yet smiling. "How can that be? You've certainly been a bonny lad and a true heart-throb."
He chuckled. "Och, didn't have much sense about lasses as a thin and skinny lad before the war, and then didn't have the time. And after the war, when we finally got home, I actually returned to service after my leg got good enough and I had finished my studies, and I stayed here in the south and married my job. Or jobs, eventually."
Anna nodded. "Oh, I understand." And the old Scot had the rare feeling that she actually did understand. And not only that, but also did accept. "But what a terrible waste of fabulous genes, I'd say. It's a terrible pity if there are no sons or daughters of yours, even if they had some other name."
Mr Cowley looked at Anna astounded, and then gave a laugh. "You... well you lass are really a piece of art, as Doyle would say. I have had a notion that you can be quite a man-hater at times and then you go and say something like that."
Anna swallowed the last piece of bread and licked the crumbs from the corners of her mouth before taking another swallow of sherry. "Yes it's very easy for me still to dislike men and slap them if only given any legitimate opportunity, especially if they are arrogant chauvinistic arse... idiots. But I wish I'm not too much on my high horse, or not a damned prune. For as long nobody's hurt, things are all right." She offered the orange for her companion and he took a couple of slices.
Mr Cowley couldn't help smiling. "Actually, Bodie and Doyle, especially Bodie, are often said to be exactly that, arrogant and chauvinistic. Still you like them?"
Anna looked at him thoughtfully. "They can be irritating in their comments on so called birds sometimes, and they seem to be going through the local female population on an astonishing rate, but they have all the time been... well, correct, with me. They can be protective, but not too differently from the way they are protective over each other, so that hasn't bothered me. And of course I've got my share of blonde-jokes, but as they have likewise accepted my joking, I haven't been much bothered by that either. They probably think about me as some kind of extra younger sister, or something."
Och, one of them has also other than brotherly feelings about you, lass. "Haven't you ever thought of dating one of them? They are quite good-looking, and you like them already and spend a lot of time with them when you are here. Why not dating for example Bodie?"
All of a sudden Anna's gaze was wary, even suspicious. "I've never got an impression Bodie has any interest in dating me. And he usually seems to have no problems whatsoever in letting women know if he does. So I've left him his space. And to be honest, Sir, your question reached pretty close to the limits of good taste and confidentiality." Mr Cowley raised his hand instantly.
"Aye, I apologize. I really do. It's just that I have for a long time wondered about your relationship with these two lads. Especially when it comes to Bodie. I am most happy he has found a woman to whom he shows the best qualities of himself as a friend. The same goes with Doyle, although the biggest change from their usual behaviour I've seen in Bodie. I don't want to be a nosy old bore, but the two have worked for me several years now, and... well, you are quite a special case amongst their women."
There was a dangerous glint in Anna's eyes. "So do I belong to their women?" Och, thin ice here...
"Maybe my choice of words was not the best one. But anyway, I could make an educated guess that if you ever started going out here with someone else than either one of these two, that man should better be quite extraordinary and clean as the whistle, as most probably he'd be ran through a full background check by the lads. And God have mercy on the man if there was be any inclination of... indecent intentions," ach, Bodie would have hard time swallowing any kind of intentions, "or problems or trouble for you. And if the lads wouldn't run that background check, I would."
Anna gasped. "Well don't you have the nerve!"
The Controller tilted his head and his gaze was unfaltering and humorous. "Och, we do, don't doubt that. Sorry, lass. But it would be only to quickly get rid of miscreants, no-goods and fortune hunters. Only the best would be good enough for you. In our opinion."
Anna was mute for a while before she found her tongue again. "Frankly, Sir, I have no idea whether I should say thank you, or scream."
The phone rang suddenly, startling her from her indecision. "Cowley. Err... who is it? Who? Och, well hello, and Merry Christmas to you too... She is here, yes. Of course, of course! Aye, I do have a speaker-thingie. Just a moment..." Mr Cowley looked higly amused and was chuckling when he moved the telephone on the table in front of the sofa, and pressed the speaker button.
Instantly the room was filled with children's voices. "- told you I can call any country!"
"But I got you the number so don't be a dummy!"
Anna felt tears in her eyes. "Nicky, Tina, is that you?"
The screams of delight would probably have carried over the Atlantic even without the telephone. "Tia Anna! Is that you? Are you all right now? Are you still sick? Did you get Christmas presents? Did you see Santa Claus? Did he come through the chimney?" The chattering twins bombarded their aunt, never giving her an actual chance to answer any of their questions, finally pondering with great enthusiasm whether there was a chimney in the English house their aunt was staying in; but they finally came to conclusion every English house must have a chimney because otherwise English children would not get their presents and would be too sad and become naughty. And Anna and Mr Cowley were trying to suppress their chuckles, the Scot wondering if his quiet companion had sometimes been as the two chatterboxes on the line.
"Tia, are you there? Why don't you talk to us?" Tina finally got worried.
"I'm here, yes. But you talked so much all the time, that I didn't get a word in between."
That made the children scold each other for a while until they agreed to talk only one at the time. There were whispered negotiations for a moment and then Anna got to talk with her niece and answer some of her questions, and also got to hear the list of presents she had got now, but Mama had told her they should wait until epifanía for the rest and that was so stupid.
Then it was Nicky's turn, and he quickly recited his list of gifts after moaning about epiphany he too. "Mama and Daddy said you get your presents when you come here, Tia. Santa must have forgotten to take all in England. When do you come? Can you come next week? Will you stay with us for a long time?"
Again Anna felt tears in her eyes. "Oh pet, I'm not sure when I can come and how long I stay. I'm still a bit ill and doctors say flying in the plane can make me sicker. I let your Daddy know when I come, all right?"
"What's going on here?" A male voice came through. "Your mother waits for you already. Get going now so you won't be late from the Mass. Who are you talking to anyway?" The voice came closer.
"With Tia, Daddy. Tina took the number and I called and Mister Cow has a speaker-thingie in his phone and Tia had got presents and is still a bit sick and she didn't see Santa Claus but had seen Mister Morris dance and got lots of chocolate", a somewhat nervous little boy debriefed his father about the essential in one breath. "We go now but let us say Feliz Navidad to Tia, please?" And the two culprits screamed their Navidads to the phone and vanished before their stunned father had the time to say anything else.
"Sis, Mr Cowley, are you really there?" Smiling they admitted they were. "Are you still having dinner? Oh good, Ray mentioned they would come there today so I thought to call tomorrow. But good grief those kids! Any need for kindergarten informants, Sir? I could pack those two in a big box and throw some bananas in for the journey..."
They had good-humoured chat until Anna's brother noticed he should be off soon and asked if he could have a word with Mr Cowley in private before leaving. Anna shrugged, wished her brother and his family Merry Christmas, said she'd go and have a little fresh air in the garden, and headed towards the coat rack.
"Good Lord, how happy I was to hear her voice again, Sir. Ray filled me in a little about the latest when I talked with him the other day. He also mentioned something about a doctor friend of yours seeing Anna daily?" Mr Cowley admitted it was so and openly briefed Jack about Anna's condition. Jack cursed, and then sounded hesitant when he asked how his sister was doing mentally, and hearing about it, he sighed. "Oh Christ, I guessed it was really bad when I was told she had refused visitors and even phone-calls. I can't even begin to tell how grateful I am you have been taking care of her, Sir. And it sounds like she might have passed the very worst now. Anyway, I'll try and talk with her some day. I just wish there was something she could occupy herself with, to give her mind distraction." Mr Cowley hesitated for a moment, but then briefly told the Colonel about Macklin's suggestion, and Anna's reaction to it.
The officer surprised him. "Sir, let her start with the project as soon as she only wants! Yes I know she is very poorly, but nevertheless I'm absolutely certain that she would be of help to your trainer, and to you. And I'm positive that if you give in to her in this one, she'll prove hell of a lot easier to handle in just about everything else for some time." The Controller tried to get a word between, but the man talked over him, hastily, almost desperately. "Besides, Sir, you can blackmail her into promising that when there's nobody to look after her, she'll follow to the letter the medical instructions the doctor gives, he sounds a no-nonsense man. And, she will be genuinely interested in taking better care of herself, if she has something to strive to. I know her, Sir. She copes best when she has responsibilities. She cares about this matter, and she's smart, so she would use that smartness to your benefit and co-operate."
Mr Cowley sighed. "It's a question of her health, Colonel. For goodness' sake, because of me she only barely escaped death, I couldn't bear to think something would happen to her now."
Jack was persistent. "Believe me, I wouldn't say this unless I believed I'm right here. It would help her heal better than anything else. It would make her want to heal. I know that stubborn devil, Sir, know her better than anyone of you. Let her give it a try, with strict rules if need be, and you can always call the whole thing off if it starts to look bad. Just please, tell her you give her that chance."
That please was still ringing in his head when the Scot stepped outside. He stood on top of the stairs for a while, watching Anna who sat in near darkness on the bench.
He finally approached her. "I guess that was the other half of those who you... care of, am I right?"
Anna nodded. "I love those two brats to pieces. And Jack is... Jack. We fight and picker all the time but I guess we would murder for each other." She was quiet for a while. "He has a wonderful family."
Ach, now I understand the desperation in his plea. Helplessness. Guilt for his own happiness. The Controller felt sudden compassion towards Anna's brother. But Anna didn't sound bitter or envious. It had been merely an observation. "Aren't you interested to know what we were talking about?"
She shrugged. "That's not too hard to guess. And I don't mind. I understand."
He touched her shoulder. "You must talk with him."
She nodded. "I know. But not now... I just can't do it now."
He took her upper arm and pulled her gently on her feet. "Aye... but now you can and will come in. There's still a drop in your glass. And there's hot water in the bathtub, I thought that you might like a decent bath for a change, it should be all right now..."
The bath had been pure bliss, sweet heat all around her. Drowsiness stayed with her for a while, and to have again a living fire flickering in the fireplace in front of her, and candles on tables and windows, she felt a strange kind of safe, secure homeliness. The pain was there, it had gone nowhere, and the sorrow, but she thought that if there ever was a good place to hurt, it would be something like this.
Mozart was playing in the background, and her host had relaxedly lifted his feet on the table, and was leisurely leafing through the book of poems wearing his glasses; he had chosen to completely ignore the world around him, standard lamp behind his shoulder. She watched him discreetly, knowing perfectly well that this medium built man only a couple of years away from retirement, with his thick dark-rimmed glasses and thinning fair hair, still was in praxis one of the most dangerous man on these isles. Devious, hard, ruthless. Hated by many, feared by even more. Capable of killing without blinking an eye. Quick-tempered and harsh. Hardboiled chief of a stern organization. She knew she could hate that man. She knew, that according to many, she should hate him, loath, blame. Or at the very least, be totally indifferent. Ignore. An old man who had made enemies that had almost got her killed. Who overworked his agents. Gave them despicable assignments. Hired men that hardly could be called completely normal.
Who had deliberately dragged her out of that blessed numbness and ripped her open, leaving her whimpering of agony she had so hard tried to make cease.
All that was true.
And just as true was this man savouring the finesses of Asian art amidst the glittering brook that was Mozart. Man who had jeopardized his reputation and probably broken the most valuable ones of his personal strict rules simply by accepting her under his roof. The most valuable of those rules probably being "Never get involved." Who had taken care of her. Comforted her. Touched her. Confided in her.
She didn't feel pride about it. Or pleasure. Or joy. What she felt was something more complex and perplexing, and deep.
She finally finished her drink and quietly let the glass on the table. Blue eyes followed her when she moved closer on the sofa, huddled against his side and shoulder, and took his hand between hers. "I wouldn't mind natural curls." It took a moment before he caught what she was referring to, and squeezed her hand, smiling.
They leafed through the rest of the book in silence. There was no need for words.
END OF CHAPTER 4