Just a random scene that popped into my head very early in the morning yesterday . My excuse for writing such a whacky scene between Lucien and his rabid fan girl Silencer is... oh, wait, there isn't one.

Yeah, it's weird... but heck, what isn't weird about the Dark Brotherhood! Their weirdness makes them wonderful :) Enjoy...

"I assume your presence here means that the Purification has been completed," Lucien remarked as he heard the muffled thud that signalled the arrival of his Silencer dropping through the trapdoor of his lair in Fort Farragut.

"Yes, and I'd do it all over again, just for you," the Silencer replied, untamed hunger evident in her voice. By Sithis, thought Lucien, she's like another Antoinette!

"Now, now, Sister," Lucien calmed her, turning around form his most recent experiment, "we are both part of the same Family. I think that our dear Night Mother would prefer that incest was kept out of it, don't you?"

The Silencer grinned, pushing back her hood and shaking out her midnight black hair. "You might be joking, Lucien, but I wasn't."

Lucien frantically attempted to change the subject. After years of murder and treachery, he was unnerved by an obsessed girl? Well, mind you, obsession could lead to desperate measures. "So, you managed to destroy Vicente too? I'm sure that was quite the feat."

"You gave me motivation, love," purred the Silencer. She shuffled closer, forcing Lucien to back away. But there was no room, and he ended up pinned against the wall with her caressing his pale cheek.

"Well, if you want to really make me happy, you could always jump into the Void..."

"Only with you in my arms, darling."

Lucien sighed. There really was no reasoning with this woman. As he searched for means of escape, his hand fumbled across the top of a nearby barrel, and he had an idea. He managed to pick out an apple and proffer it to the increasingly infatuated Silencer.

"Here, have some fruit," he soothed her. "I'm sure you're drained after all of that mass murdering!"

The Silencer took the apple, sniffed it and screwed up her face in disgust. "It smells like Valen Dreth's ass," she commented brusquely.

"Don't judge a book by its cover – or its smell," Lucien corrected her, shrugging.

The Silencer laughed. "Okay, okay."

She then proceeded to take a hefty bite out of the red apple's side. After a moment of thoughtful chewing, she frowned. "Lucien, this tastes like... it tastes... it tastes absolutely shit –"

Suddenly, she dropped the apple, letting it roll away, and doubled over, choking.

Lucien watched in plain repulsion and disdain as she curled up on the floor in front of him, coughs racking her body. Eventually, when she was completely still, he let out a sigh of relief and heaved her up and over his shoulder.

"I suppose she won't be too bad a specimen," Lucien mused aloud, carrying her over to a table covered with sharp tools, scalpels... and gore and blood. "After all, I've been waiting to break her heart for a long time... but I guess I'll settle for slicing it up instead..."

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