Everlasting Light
She smells coffee. That's what wakes her up. Kate takes a few deep breaths, rolls over to get away from the sunlight, sighs.
"Kate."
Ug, no Castle.
"Hey, babe?"
She just wants to fall back asleep. It's warm in bed, and she knows it's freezing cold outside, and for some reason her son is not wailing right now and so Castle needs to get the hell-
"Coffee."
Coffee.
She opens her eyes, sees Castle crouching beside the bed, grinning at her like a fool. He's got a mug in one hand, her mug the bastard; the scent wafts over to her on that delicious steam-
"You're cruel," she murmurs, closing her eyes again.
He laughs, and she feels his warm mouth at her ear, a bite to her skin. "Today is Christmas Day, Kate. And today-"
"Coffee," she breathes, opening her eyes and reaching for the mug all in one movement.
Castle releases it into her grip and she moans, bringing it straight to her mouth even as she struggles to sit up. Even after a long time away, she's too practiced to even spill a drop, and it pours hot and rich and decadent down her throat and directly to her veins.
"God, I love you," she moans, feathering open her eyes to see Castle's dumbstruck look. "Oh, you too, Castle."
He laughs and raises up to his knees to kiss her, sharing the taste of coffee; he's had his for the morning as well.
She doesn't let go of her mug though, releases his lips only when he pulls away. "Merry Christmas."
Castle tries a smile but it trembles on his mouth, falls; he glances down and she frowns at him.
Baby's asleep, she's got coffee for the first time in ages, it's Christmas, so what could possibly be causing this?
"Kate," He pulls out a wrapped present from somewhere under the bed, places it on the sheets in front of her knees.
She smiles at him. "What's this?"
"Christmas day. Open it."
"You already got me a present," she says with a grin and sips at her coffee again.
Castle shakes his head, but she can see the waiting is torturous for him so she puts her coffee on the bedside table and goes for the box. It's taped up pretty good, so has to peel at it slowly, casting surreptitious glances at him from under her lashes. He's squirming like a little kid.
When the paper is all gone, she realizes it looks like a jeweler's necklace box. Her hands still over it, and she glances up at Castle. She can't. . .this is too much. A necklace? Maybe it's simple. (Right. Simple, from Castle?)
He takes it from her and leans in for a quick kiss that leaves entirely too many questions.
"I love you, Kate. This is - this is amazing, you and Dashiell and all of us being here together. I could do this forever, nothing else. Except maybe write about how amazing it is."
She smiles softly at that. She knows he's been hunched over his notebooks when she's come out in the mornings to feed Dash; she's glad he's writing again even if he's cramped by not having his laptop.
"I don't even write Nikki Heat - all that comes out is poetry. Stupid, free verse poems about how you look when you hold Dash, about how it feels to have the bed warm with your body next to mine. I write about how Dashiell's eyes have changed color, how you sat between my legs in bed the first night we were home - both of us watching him sleep."
Kate swallows past the lump in her throat, reaches out to brush the moisture trembling on his lashes. Beautiful man.
"It's all I want to write. For the rest of my life. I know I'll get back to Nikki Heat, to whatever else is out there, but these are the stories I was meant to tell, Kate."
She can't help leaning in to kiss him, framing his face with her hands, resting her forehead against his. His words always get to her, always touch that tender place that's usually so well-hidden. Whatever he wants to give her, whatever ornate piece of jewelry - it's fine. Because his words are so much more. . .costly and beautiful.
He brushes a thumb down the line of her neck, pulls back a little. "I asked your dad awhile ago if - well, I explained everything that happened and got his permission for this, and then last night I did the whole official thing-"
"Castle. What are you talking about?" she laughs.
He opens the box; it flips back on the hinge to display her mother's ring.
Her forehead wrinkles; she's been looking all over for this. She even asked him about it. "Wha-"
"I had a studio resize it. For your finger."
Oh. Oh, how thoughtful. Sweet of him - even if she *had* thought she lost it. Like that time he found her father's watch, and didn't tell her, and then had it fixed.
"Kate."
She glances up; he's so very serious.
"Kate Beckett."
Oh God-
"Please marry me."
Oh God.
This time just say yes.
She stares at the ring, her mother's ring; he asked her father; he took her mother's-
Castle pulls the ring from the velvet and takes her left hand, his thumb separating her fingers, preparing her for it.
Oh God.
He holds the ring in place just shy of her finger, waiting, and she can't even look away, can't speak. He has all those beautiful words and she's got nothing but the frenzied beat of her heart, and he-
slides it down her finger. It fits. Perfectly.
This is where it belongs.
"Kate?" he whispers.
She hasn't answered him. She can't-
She lifts her eyes from the ring on her finger to the man kneeling by their bed, the vision swimming before her, rippling and shimmering-
"Why are you crying?" he whispers.
She leans out into him and buries her face in his shoulder, arms around his neck and clinging tightly for all the things that won't come out, hearing her own little sob as she tries to speak. The whirlpool of her life - the rush forward into this, carrying her along, and now this is the moment, the time to ruin everything or accept the vision laid out before her-
"Kate." His arms come slowly around her, squeezing but hesitant. He's so strong around her, his body so warm, his mouth at her ear, and he's given her - all this - and she wants, she wants, has all these desires drowning her, but first-
"Rick," she gasps and feels him shudder as her mouth finds his. She takes that too, hungry and needful, all tongue and teeth and choked up words.
Why now? Why when he asked her a hundred times during the pregnancy, a thousand times at the hospital? Why now? What is this in her that rejoices?
He breaks away from the kiss, groans against her cheek. "The enthusiasm is hopeful, but Kate, love, you have to give me an answ-"
"Yes, yes, God, yes."
Yes.
Sitting in the floor and leaning against the couch, Castle watches Kate come back into the living room with another mug of coffee. He lifts his eyebrows as she moves to sit up on the couch behind him.
"How many's that?"
"Hush your mouth," she mutters, flicking his ear with a finger.
He feels her knees against his shoulders as she draws up her legs under her, and he twists around put his arm along her calf, encircling her foot with his fingers.
"Four? Five?"
"Five." She stares him down, but one hand comes free of the mug to brush through his hair, and then her mouth descends to press a kiss to his temple, where she hovers for a moment. "Someone got me knocked up and without sufficient caffeine for the last nine months."
"Of course. This is all my fault."
"I'm going to give you all the credit for it, Castle. Feed your ego a little."
"It somehow doesn't have the usual effect," he murmurs, but he knows he's staring into her eyes like a lovesick teenager.
"Finish opening your presents. Before Dashiell cries, and Alexis gives him back," she says, pushing on his forehead.
He turns to look at his daughter sitting in the chair by the window, Dash turned to face the room so he can watch - though he's probably just seeing blurs of color and twinkling lights. Dash kicks his legs out and squirms so much that Alexis has her hands full keeping him in place, but she's chatting to Dash like the kid knows exactly what she's saying. And sometimes it looks like he really does.
Castle has a few more gifts left next to him, and Kate has one on the couch (from Dash, in theory, though she shot him a withering look when she read the tag). She was the one who said it was ridiculous to get Dashiell stuff for Christmas when he's only eight weeks old. Castle couldn't help picking out a few things though.
He pulls the top one from the stack (from Kate) and rips the paper off, hearing Kate laugh seductively in his ear. No doubt thinking about last night. He turns to give her a quick grin and sees her face right next to his cheek. She's leaning over to watch, her left hand on his shoulder.
Castle kisses her quickly, dropping a hand over hers and squeezing (the ring feels strange but so right on her finger under his palm), then he goes back to the gift. He opens the shirt box, not sure exactly what to expect - another deep purple shirt? - but nestled in the tissue paper is a framed triptych - three photographs.
Alexis and Dashiell in that same chair - Alexis's first time to hold her brother. Next is the one he took of Kate at the hospital, the too-pale skin and her hair pulled back messily on her head, cradling Dash. And finally - he can't remember this one being taken - the three of them on their bed, Dash in his father's lap, Kate leaning her cheek against Castle's shoulder and watching their son.
Castle takes in a long breath, cradling the frame in his hands, stunned by it.
Kate brushes her mouth against his cheek. "To put on your desk. For inspiration."
Oh God. He lifts his hand and tangles his fingers in the hair at the back of her neck, so in love with her. With Kate, oh Kate.
Castle turns his head and finds her mouth, a long draught of joy and heat, her fingers feathering along his neck. She breaks away from him, breathing hard against his lips.
"And along with that. Tomorrow we're having a family outing. Gonna get you a new laptop, Castle. All four of us." She lifts her head and Castle turns to look at his kids, Alexis and Dashiell. His daughter is grinning like crazy.
Kate's fingers are still curled around his neck, like she doesn't remember they're there. "That okay with you, Alexis?"
"Perfect."
Castle grins back at his daughter, at the baby boy still impossibly awake. Martha will come by later today (after sleeping off whatever she got up to last night when she left their Christmas Eve dinner). Jim planned on stopping by sometime this evening as well. Castle has his family all together for Christmas, and Kate at his back like she's always supposed to have been there.
Always.
She said yes.