Canada had been bending down to untie his shoes when America struck. Well, really, the door struck him. Crying out, Canada went tumbling down to his hands and knees.
"Yo! Matteh! Where are you?" America bellowed out, barging through the threshold excitedly.
America wandered around while there was a faint sound of mumbling behind the Canadian's door. England walked through the entrance with two arm-full of bags. He placed the bags on the hardwood floor and went to shut the door carefully with its now loosed hinges, revealing Canada's whereabouts.
"Hi," England said, raising an eyebrow in amusement. Canada whispered something that sounded like 'thanks'; while he brushed off some traces of drywall, courtesy of his brother. England decided to put an end to this situation and went into the kitchen to unpack the shopping bags. America was still wandering around the house yelling for Canada to 'come out come out where ever he was!' "The childish fool."
"Damnit, Alfred, your brother is right here!" England yelled while pulling the deli meats out of the bag. Rushing in, America wrapped Canada up in a back-breaking-bear- hug.
"Hey Matt, mind bringing the rest of your groceries in from the car? Thanks, bro!" America laughed, slapping Canada on the back, then lumbered over to help England unpack.
"That was rude," England said bluntly, handing a bag of chips to America.
America scoffed, "What?"
England rolled his eyes, "Never mind. You're so dense."
"Yeah? Yeah well… You're a priapism!"
Putting down the Pop-tarts, England stared at America blankly, "Alfred, do you even know what that is?"
America paused for a second, "Yes?"
"Of course you do, because you would never lie, that would be pretty un-heroic by most people's standards." America could only stare back abashed knowing he'd been had. England could only return to his chore quite satisfied with himself.
At that point Canada walked in with the rest of the bags. Thanking Canada, England took the bags from him while America sat at the kitchen table snacking on the bag of chips England had handed him. Being helpful as always was, Canada helped England unpack and put the groceries away. Finally they were all seated around the kitchen table laughing at whatever ridiculous thought America allowed himself to spew out .Canada told a bizarre news story about two male penguins that had previously been partners and were now separated and searching for female partners. Finally the conversation died down and England looked nervously at America.
America cleared his throat, "So uh, Mattie, there's something we want to tell you."
"Yeah?" Canada put down his drink. " About time these two tied the knot. They had been making goo goo eyes at each other since the 50s."
"Yeah, well, it's going to sound totally crazy, and you're not going to believe it. I didn't believe it either and in fact I still kind of find it really hard to take too and I don't know, just take this as it is, but wait! Don't think I'm just totally lying here because that would be, like, totally un-heroic and not cool at all . Okay so here it is are you sure you want to hear it?" America inhaled loudly then continued, "Yeah you do. So Arthur's pregnant."
Canada stared blankly, "Uh sorry I zoned out there for a second. Did you say what I think you said?"
The room remained uncomfortably silent; the tension was so palpable that you could cut through it like butter. England coughed. America sat there with an awkward, smile hanging crooked on his face, "If you thought I said something about Artie having a bun in his oven then you are correct sir!"
Canada stared at America. Then he stared at England. Then he stared back at America. Then he stared at England's stomach. His lips twitched upward before he burst out in laughter, he smacked the mahogany table with his palm. England and America flushed, faces turning beat red.
"What. The. Hell. Okay you guys. I'm going to go start dinner. Or do you want to go out for dinner? There are some really nice restaurants around here."
"Wait, that's it?" America asked.
"That's what?" Canada replied, still giggling.
"That's you're only response? We just told you the news of the century and you're blowing us off!"
"I'm not blowing you off, I'm ignoring you're poor attempt at a joke. "
"It's not a joke," England mumbled, "We're being serious."
Canada said nothing. He just stared at the couple. Taking America's hand, England said, "It's the truth. I'm probably about a month pregnant. We're being honest here. Please take us seriously."
"How can I take you guys seriously? You're sitting here saying you're pregnant! Okay I know Arthurs always been on the feminine side, but seriously isn't this taking it a little too far?" England stared back bitterly as Canada stood up to get a glass of water. Grabbing a glass and filling it with water, he leaned over the counter and sighed, "Okay, I'll take you seriously for a couple minutes. How did this revelation come about?"
England cleared his throat, "Well, I kept showing the symptoms of early pregnancy, so out of a whim I bought some pregnancy tests and they came back positive."
Canada turned to America, "And you accepted that fucking story?"
America turned even redder, to his chagrin, "Well yeah I was there. I saw him throwing up-" he started meekly.
"Did you see the tests?"
"… No. Now that you mention it, I didn't," America pondered and turned to, "England?"
"… Well I pissed on it. I didn't want to show you some nasty stick I'd pissed all over!" England was starting to get annoyed. "Who were they to start questioning him, what reason or right did either one of them have to be suspicious of him?"
Canada scoffed, "Come on England, seriously? Really Alfred, and no offense intended, but this is such bull. Now lay off the joke; I'm hungry."
"Alfred, I'm pregnant. I swear to God I am!" England stressed. America started to look nervous. He loved and trusted England deeply, but Canada had a point. England's story was full of holes.
Trust was a doubled edged sword, being too trusting could get you into quite the bit of trouble, being so gullible; however having no trust would make you a cold closed off person. He wasn't sure what England was going on about, but America wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. If he trusted someone, he trusted them with his entire being. That being a good thing is still disputed.
No. America trusted England. If he said he was pregnant. He had to be, why would he make up such a thing anyway? It all added up. "It's not like before when he would always just do things to hurt me, he'd definitely gotten passed that. Right?"
Squeezing America's hand, England smiled at him and then turned to Canada, "Look, you don't have to believe us, but it's true. We would be happy with you respecting this situation and not treating it like a joke, because it's not funny."
Canada shook his head and laughed, "Alright. I'll respect you two. Call me if you need any help" Canada replied, sardonically, the skepticism going unheard by the couple ",in eight months when he's ready to deliver, that should be a spectacle to behold."
America and England smiled fervently, "Thank you,"
A small part of Canada hoped the couple was telling the truth, he would love to be an uncle. On the other hand though, England was a guy. That alone would cause tons of complications for his body, plus well, damnit, it was such a freakin convoluted story he couldn't force himself to believe it even if he tried .
"So who have you told?" Canada asked, taking a sip of water.
"You. Just you," America stated.
Canada eyes widened a fraction then he smiled. "Even if this is a joke it's hard to believe he would even think to tell me, let alone be the one and only to know".
"Well. Now that this is out of the way, how about dinner?" England asked, trying to eliminate the cumbersome atmosphere he had created.
Later after an even more uncomfortable meal, England had fallen asleep on the couch, leaving the two brothers alone to talk.
"I hope you know what you're doing," Canada said.
"What?" America questioned, rubbing England's feet in his lap.
"England's whole 'I'm pregnant and you're my baby's daddy' act." Canada stated cynically.
America's eyes narrowed then he let out a sigh, "Look, he's pregnant."
"I think he's manipulating you. I don't know why, or if he's doing this for kicks, but you need to be careful." Canada warned.
"What would he even have to gain?" America laughed.
"I don't know! But come on, how is he pregnant? A nation hasn't been pregnant in forever, and I've never heard of a male nation being pregnant. I think he's playing you, maybe he decided that he wanted to try out the most drawn out prank in history." Canada said.
Even if it turned out he was faking it, America didn't think it would end their relationship. Would it hurt him deeply? Yes, but you know what? He loved England, and he truly believed he was pregnant.
"Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"But it needs to be discussed-"
"No thanks. I'm tired. Night, bro," America said, shaking England awake, "Hey Honey," England groaned a little, "Wake up. You fell asleep, go to bed I'll be there in a sec."
England nodded and mumbled good night to Canada before closing the door to the guestroom.
America looked back to Canada, "I love him. Don't ruin this for me," America stood up and went into the guestroom, leaving Canada alone. Sighing and rolling his eyes at America's melodramatic ending line, Canada stood up and left the living room for his own room.
" I swear to God, Arthur , I don't if this is some kind of century old vengeance or you've really just gone insane, but if Alfred ends up hurt I'll make sure that it's the last thing you ever see."
(A.N) Okay well that's that. Sorry my updating has been so scarce Dx I'm still without a laptop but one of my friends was awesome enough to let me go over her house and type it up real quick 33 So it may seem a bit rushed but I did the best I could! Many thanks to all the readers if you enjoyed it please review it feeds my will to right and my ego xD