A/N: This is an authors note...fine I'll give you something! Well first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish. Then I wrote this story for the ten people, like yourself, who are reading this. Fangz btw, oh, and HAPPY BELATED XMAS!
Part II: Memories
Date Interviewed: June 13, 3011
Subject: Model Bending Unit 22 #2716057 (Alias: Bender Bending Rodriguez)
Manufacturing Date: May 5, 2992
Place of Manufacturing: Tijuana, Mexico
Occupation: Bending Unit/Company Cook
Notes
The next subject is a Bending Unit made by Mom's Friendly Robot Company, however, upon a quick inspection of the robot, we found he did not have a backup unit, meaning once destroyed, we would be unable to move his personality into an open robot. Normally, a defective robot would be destroyed on the assembly lines final stop, a full-scale inspection. However, we found that the unit was saved from the incinerator by a certain Hermes Conrad, who would coincidentally end up working with him at the Planet Express Delivery Company years later. For the most part, the subjects attitude seems to be rather snobbish and grating, constantly making immature remarks, stroking his ego, and making threatening remarks at the slightest provocation. He actually threatened to shiv us one time when we told him we would take his cigars away after some of our associates complained of the smoke. Despite his setbacks, I have a good feeling that we'll be able to delve deeper into his mainframe when we talk to him later.
The Interview
Question One: How do you feel working around humans? Do you harbor any resentment?
"Oh I see, this is one of those experiments you humans do where you try and see what makes us tick, eh? Well I hate to break it to you, but I ain't saying crap! You humans disgust me, what do you meatbags do, anyway? Sit around and do nothing, criticize my food, and program innocent robots like me to do your dirty work! Look at you guys, no seriously, cause I sure as hell can't look at you cowards, hiding behind some microphone, holding me hostage! I swear, when I get out of here, I'm making sure the Robot Devil deals with you guys! I don't care if I have to lose my shiny metal ass for it this time either, It'll be worth it!"
(We went on to explain that we have three other human subjects with us, and they were all his co-workers.)
"So you took Fry, huh? Yeah, and the Space Pope craps in the woods! Nice try, but I can see right through your little ploy!"
(After refusing to cooperate any further, we sent the subject back to the holding area. We allowed him to speak with the previously mentioned subject. While still somewhat defiant, the subject agreed to continue with the interview.)
Question Two: Humans long for communication to the point where it is practically a need. How do you feel about this as a robot?
"I think it's pretty dumb, what kind of need is that? I don't need to talk to anyone, what have others ever done to me? I'll tell you what, they let a defective robot live! And you know who it was? Me! What kind of person would allow that! If they didn't try and fix me, then why should I give them the satisfaction of talking to them!"
(We questioned why he would be mad at such a thing.)
"Cause I'm Bender, dammit! I'm supposed to be perfect in every way, shape, and form! But this Inspector Number Five has to screw that all up! I swear if I ever find him, I'll-"
(We noted that the subject was still defiant, and did not know that it was in fact Hermes Conrad who spared him, and also made note not to mention it to him...at least not yet...For the sake of time, we decided to move onto the next question.)
Question Three: As you mentioned, you were built without a backup unit. This should have led to your destruction, but you were saved from that fate. How do you feel knowing you will eventually "die" like human beings? Do you feel more human because of it?
"Oh, it feels great knowing I'll damned to Robot Hell for all eternity. I would have rather been destroyed than have to sit around until I die like you flesh piles."
(We notified him that he had failed to answer the last part of the question, and repeated it to him. While we couldn't exactly pinpoint what he was doing, the best word that would describe his reaction to the question would be "flabbergasted".)
"...You know what...I never really thought of that before. I mean, I can walk, talk, and we have guts on the inside like humans. But normally, when we stop functioning, we'd just get our personality downloaded into another. We technically die, but we're just put into something else. I think you guys call it...reincarnation...or something...but I can't...I guess that's what mainly separates us from people like you...not me though...I'm just like you..."
(We took note of the subjects sudden change in demeanor.)
Question Four: Do you think that your defect was predetermined by something greater?
"…"
(The subject still appeared to be troubled by the previous question. We allowed him a half an hour before we let him back in. During that time, we took a moment to ask our previous subject about how this one reacts to things emotionally, he says thought his sudden mood swings are "kind of Bender's thing" and "completely normal".)
"...Maybe it was done to teach me that in the end, we're all human in some way. Everyone makes mistakes, even me, Bender. The bots on the manufacturing line made a mistake when creating me, Inspector Five made a mistake when approving me, and I can guarantee with a 100.3% accuracy and a .3% margin of error that you have as well. But at the same time, that mistake can lead to great things. Like when Fry came here, and saved my life, thinking the suicide booth was some weird box that you could talk to people on. But in the end, those don't really matter. Maybe we could have righted the wrongs, but then would I have met Fry? Would I have joined the crew? Would I have been an unlovable raging alcoholic who actually did his job? Okay, that last one is stretching it, but you get the point."
Question Five: What does the word "Love" mean to you?
"That one is easy, it's that word you use when you want to get into someone's pants, hehehehe!"
(We asked the subject to be serious. the subject sat idle for a moment, apparently searching his mainframe)
[DEFINITION NOT FOUND]
Conclusion
As expected, the subject was extremely stubborn early on, however, as we progressed, we were amazed to find that the subject appeared to be showing genuine emotion. While we still wish that he was able to give us some better responses, this was an amazing breakthrough nonetheless. One thing that disturbed us however, was the lack of a definition for "Love". Our inspection of him before the interview found the same for other emotions like "Happiness", "Anger", "Sadness", etc… Does this mean that these emotions weren't in fact genuine? Afterwards, the subject approached us and thanked us for interviewing him. We spoke further, however, what we spoke of is currently classified...
Stop The Clocks
October 30, 3093
For Bender, going to another funeral was becoming somewhat of a habit. Unfortunately, that habit would soon come to an end, as there was only one more funeral he planned to ever attend. All that was left was Fry, one hundred and nineteen years young. While his once bright orange hair had fallen out and wrinkles had enveloped his once smooth skin, he maintained the health and spirit of youth. However, on this particular day, he looked and felt his age, for he had lost perhaps the one person that allowed him to keep that youthful spirit all those years.
When Leela had stated that she wanted a very intimate funeral, she meant it. Save the priest, only Fry and Bender were in attendance, situated in the front row. Normally, Bender would sit a few rows back and observe the other attendees. Today, he decided not to, mainly because of the lack of people involved. Located at the front was the closed coffin (once again, at her request) containing Leela, a victim of a faulty teleportation device. Although the top third of her body was never fully recovered, Fry was thankful there was still something he could bring back to bury.
As the priest yammered on, Bender could only hear the blubbering of Fry, who looked as though he aged fifty extra years overnight. He'd never seen him look this miserable since they first met, yet even now, he still didn't understand why. No matter how many times he observed others at the funerals, including his own fake funeral, he could never grasp the concept. The question of why people would hold each other, cry at, or even have such events was an unanswered question. To him, they were annoying sob-fests that had some finger food afterward, and if he was lucky, he'd be able to drink himself to life.
Ugh...
As the ceremony continued, so did Bender's lack of focus on whatever was being said, he remained fixated on Fry as he continued his tearful howling, his grief only seemed to be getting worse by the minute; his cries growing louder. There was something about this particular moment that disturbed Bender, but despite it, the robot could not turn away. He felt the need to do or say something, but his mainframe drew a blank on how to react. Finally, he broke free of the gaze, and shut off the amplifiers in his head. And so he sat there, his head bowed. As the chorus of a man's sorrow rang through the hall, Bender could only hear silence, but Fry's image remained.
They were home again, a sanctuary that had housed them for nearly a century. As Fry opened the door to Robot Arms and went over to the Email Box, Bender remained in a daze, focused on what he had seen at the ceremony. By now, Fry's tears had dried, but his sadness remained etched across his face in the form of the now highlighted wrinkles.
"Are you alright?" It was the first thing Bender had said to him all day. Fry didn't immediately respond, as he flicked the screen to see if there were any more messages expressing sympathy. As it turned out, there was one amidst the spam, sent by the current president of Planet Express. The current CEO's had a thing for keeping in touch with all past and present members of the company, even if they were fired. Unfortunately, the empathy was lost in the message that was clearly pre-written and had been sent to him before whenever his fellow surviving crew members had died. Reading the faceless message only made him feel worse, so he quickly disposed of it."No, I'm not alright," He said, exiting the email client. "but thanks for asking."
"Oh, well...that sucks...Uh, is there anything I can...do?"
Fry bowed his head in disappointment, letting out a groan. "Yeah, learn to feel..."
"Well I'm sorry that I can't feel your stuffy human emotions and shed your wet human tears. Why don't you just whip a few more up and smear them on me?" Bender noticed that Fry's dentures had clenched and he was shaking more than he usually did.
"You just don't get it do you?" He growled.
"What's there to get?"
With all his might, Fry gently swiped his hand across Bender's metallic cheek with all his might, the robot registered the slap, causing a light sting on the side of his face.
"You felt that!" Fry said with a finger pointed at his robot friend.
"Why the hell did you smack me!" Bender shouted back, putting his fists up in preparation to strike.
"See, that's anger! You get angry, you get sad, and you laugh joyously at everyone's misfortunes, but not today, not at Leela's funeral, not at Amy's, not even at Zoidberg's! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"I was programmed that way!"
"No, you weren't! No matter what they put into you, there are some things that you can't program!"
"How the hell do you know that?"
"...I tried to help you figure it out... but if you don't know by now, you'll end up finding it out when it's too late."
"What's that supposed to mean? You keep telling me that, stop speaking in your human riddles and spit it out!" Fry didn't answer back, he turned and began to make his way back up to the apartment. "...Whatever."
November 10, 3093
"Fry, it's almost noon!"
They were the first words Bender had said to him since their argument, unfortunately, he wasn't saying it to his face, instead it was to the door to his room that separated the two. He still didn't understand what Fry meant about knowing about his so-called "un-programmable feelings", but he didn't seem to care at the moment, something wasn't right. Fry had remained reclusive since they last spoke, he would have at least gotten up to get his light breakfast consisting of Archduke Chocula and some sliced pineapple by now. While Bender had found it a bit odd, he just thought it was some phase that would pass.
He knocked on the door again, once again no answer, so he tried to open the door.. "Great, locked. Looks like I'm gonna have to bring out the pick." One of the robots metallic fingers popped open, revealing a pick-like device. Without any hesitation, Bender began to stab at the door repeatedly, until the door itself was broken off its frame, sending it flying across the room before crashing through the window, stopping just short of the new ledge that had been created, leaving it hanging precariously hundreds of feet in the air. Bender realized how long it had been since he step foot in Fry's room when he saw how clean the place reminded him of how much nicer the apartment got after Leela moved in after Fry pestered her when she couldn't afford her old apartment.
"Leela, please. Our place is cheaper, and in the fifteen...or whatever years I've lived there, our neighbors have yet to have any real criminal background!"
"But what about Ben-"
"You know what I mean!"
"…Fine, but lets make it clear, if anyone asks, you're relying on me. I don't want to look like the charity case here."
The only part of the room that wasn't entirely cleared up was the bed in which Fry was laid across. The sheets were lightly ruffled and had contoured to his slightly below average build. It appeared as though he hadn't even been disturbed by the forced entry that had just occurred.
"Heavy sleeper, eh?" Bender thought aloud. "Time to take matters into my own hands." He eyed the alarm clock on the end table, and set the alarm for the next minute. Aiming it at Fry's ear, the alarm sounded with a deafening ring. "WAKE UP! IT'S...ELEVEN...FORTY...EIGHT...A.M..." Fry didn't even flinch, suddenly Bender was coming to a very grim conclusion. A quick scan confirmed this, there were no signs of life in the apartment, just himself and the corpse of Fry, staring at him with a look eerily similar to the one he had on at Leela's funeral.
"I...I-"
The feelings he experienced from the funeral were coming back, only magnified ten fold. He clenched his cylindrical "chest" cavity as a painful sensation ran through it, as though wires were being ripped out, and machinery was being crushed. The robot could not explain the source of this odd pain.
"You felt that!"
Bender panicked, fearing he was about to suffer a terminal error. The robot searched his memory banks for an answer. Suddenly, the pain stopped as one of the memory banks unlocked, titled OPCNT, a bank so deep in his mainframe, that even he didn't know how he came upon it.
…BEEP…
[ACTIVATING: OPERATION CONTACT...JUNE 13, 3011...INITIATING SEQUENCE...]
...BEEP...
"-nder, we learned a lot today, but I think you can learn more about yourself if you are willing. All you have to do is observe those around you when you can, and find a define their states. When you complete this, then your work is done..."
"What's the catch? You gonna try and take control of them too?"
"No, this is not for us, when you're done, then you can use what you've learned in any way you deem fit."
...BEEP...
The folder triggered a series of events that thrust him into a memory that seemed oddly familiar, but wasn't immediately registering to him. His memory bank dated the recollection as June 2, 3019, the location, his apartment. Bender was a passenger on this ride through time as the memory played back like a replay, and as his 3019 version of himself found himself in a familiar situation, downing a six pack of booze in the kitchen, followed by belching a sizable amount of flames back up. His 3019 self turned around, hearing an overly jubilant Fry enter the apartment, still with a full head of hair and a lack of wrinkles.
"What's going on? Did you win the lottery?" 3019 Bender said. "Please say you won the lottery!"
"Even better," Fry replied. "She said yes!"
"Who said what now?"
"Leela said yes to marrying me!"
"Neat!" He replied, grabbing a camera from his cavity and snapping a shot of Fry, who was left with a bewildered look on his face. "…What? Isn't that what you do for things like that?"
Bender watched as the 3019 version of himself put the camera down, walked back over to the fridge and grabbed another six pack. He also noticed through the entire conversation up until the picture, he had never looked at Fry as he spoke words of great joy. But looking back at the memory, he could see the most radiant smile across his face, it was amazing to see how powerful this moment was to his friend. However, the happiness soon faded as 3017 Bender's hollow response caught him off guard, and was replaced with frustration.
"I know you're better than this, Bender." He whispered.
"I tried to help you..."
Fry walked out of the room, leaving 3019 Bender to his own physical and metaphorical devices.
…BEEP…
[Apathy - (noun) - The composition of all mechanical beings.]
...BEEP...
Bender was thrust forward into another memory, this one dated January 8, 3021. Bender watched as his 3021 version of himself, donning a suit and tie, looked over Fry, who was also in a tuxedo.
"You look great, buddy!" 3021 Bender said, giving him a thumbs up. "I mean, as great as you can get to me, which isn't much, but it'll do."
"Thanks, Bender. You know, you being my best man means a lot to me."
"Yeah…" Bender noticed that the two of them were glaring at one another, as if they were anticipating the other to say something. "What?"
"No 'I'm the best' thing?"
"Nope, today's your day, but don't expect any of that crap when this is said and done!"
"That's all the time I'll need." Fry replied with an enormous grin.
…BEEP…
[Happiness - (noun) - The ultimate goal of all living beings, intense pleasant feelings.]
...BEEP...
Once again, Bender found himself being dropped into another memory, this one dated March 15, 3056. Aside from a small wooden desk with a steel container on it and his past self sitting on a metal stool, the room was empty. It reminded him of a Create-Your-Own Pretentious Art-Film he was dragged to around the time of this memory.
"The desk is supposed to represent [Death]."
The robot watched as his copy opened the container and took out a rolled up slip of paper and began to read it, but almost immediately put it down. After a moment, his 3036 self raised his left arm and swiped it across the container with his backhand, sending it flying off the table and across the room, registering a loud clang as it bounced off the wall and hit the floor. 3036 Bender stared back down at the paper, focusing on the very bottom of the page. As Bender's vision faded into the next memory, he was able to see the last part of the paper:
See you on the other side,
Hermes Conrad (Inspector #5)
…BEEP…
[Anger - (noun) - The inability to properly express a more appropriate emotion.]
...BEEP...
July 29, 3093 was the date of the next memory. Bender had been dropped into Central Park, watching his more recent self hiding in a bush near a park bench, watching Fry and Leela sitting on it hand in hand, throwing bread crumbs to the owls in front of them, watching as they excitedly rushed toward the food and huffed it down before flying off towards the slowly setting sun. His copy saw that the two were whispering something, but couldn't pick it up. He adjusted his sensors to pick up their conversation.
"Happy Birthday." Fry whispered.
"Another one of these, eh?"
"Yeah, it's like one of those cheesy chick flicks where the girl says 'let's grow old together'. Only difference is that we actually did it."
"Oh, Fry. We're past old, we're ancient."
"Then let's grow ancient together..."
Leela let out a weak giggle as Bender's not-so-current self did the same in a mocking manner as he casually grabbed a handful of eggs lying in a nest next to him and tossed them into his chest cavity.
"You know, I almost forgot to give you your gift."
"Is it another one of those nude greeting cards? You know those lose their novelty, among other things when you get older..."
"Not quite, but it involves me saying similar things."
"Really?"
Fry leaned in and pecked a kiss on her cheek. "I love you..."
For a split second, Bender was overcome by a sensation stronger than any of the others he had experienced before. He didn't even try to comprehend it, he just rode it through until he found himself back in his apartment. His internal clock confirmed that he was no longer in a memory, but a familiar voice suddenly spoke to him, saying familiar words, of an all too familiar memory.
Alright, Bender. I have one final question to ask you...What does the word "Love" mean to you?
...BEEP...
Bender froze for a moment, his mainframe searching for his answer.
[DEFINITION NOT FOUND]
The robot looked down in [Shame - (noun)], still unable to define the most important feeling of all. Bender looked back down at his lifeless friend, for the first time, the robot knew what it was like to feel. Perhaps he knew how all along, but it never registered with him until that very moment.
[Death - (noun) - The end of being alive. The result of living.]
...The result of living...
Once one feeling came, the floodgates opened and a dozen more came to take its place. Even with the ability, he wasn't sure what to feel. All he knew was that his first and only remaining friend had died.
"...but if you don't know by now, you'll end up finding it out when it's too late.
…BEEP…
Bender froze again, suddenly a series of zeroes and ones began to cloud his vision, as they began to unscramble, he realized they were spelling out his definition.
[Love - (noun) The composition of every living being, the feeling of all the shapes and colors of the universe unified into one; infinity. A word used to entice one to engage in sexual intercourse.]
[SENSORY OVERLOAD]
"I'm sorry, buddy..." He said, placing a hand on Fry's chest. "I know now..."
[WARNING: OVERHEATING - ACCESSING EMERGENCY COOLDOWN PROCEDURE...]
The robot dropped to the floor in pain as his innards grew hotter and hotter.
"Dammit, I knew I-ugh…Shouldn't have sold that...on the black market…"
[Regret - (noun) - The inability to change the past.]
[PROCEDURE CORRUPTED - ZIPPING AND ISOLATING PERSONALITY BACKUP...]
Bender's vision was fading again, but this time, the zeroes and ones were being replaced with blackness.
"I'm...dying..."
[FATAL ERROR - BACKUP NOT FOUND - ALL SAVED AND UNSAVED CHANGES WILL BE LOST]
With a quick jolt, Bender was rendered completely paralyzed. He laid face down, staring into the rug as the last of his vision faded away. The pain was gone, but he knew that inside, his circuitry was being boiled and fried away. However, amidst all of it, Bender felt no [Fear], no [Sadness], no [Anger].
I lived...
[LOV-]
Time ran out...