"Unpractical"
High heels. Stilettos. Wedges. All shoes entirely revered by most females, if not worshipped. I cannot even count the number of times I have caught a person strutting about in these highly overrated forms of footwear. Honestly, I am unable to perceive the appeal. These deathtraps cause most everyone who wears them some form of trouble, whether it is sore feet or stumbling down a flight of stairs headfirst. Anyway, what is the honest point? They make you an inch taller and a thousand times less natural.
These thoughts and comments envelop my mind as I walk, at least a head shorter than every other girl present. Instead of those fancy, elaborate contraptions, dictated as "attractive" by others, a pair of worn out tennis shoes grace my feet. The weird glances cast in my direction by the members of this practical cult of heel-obsessors, have virtually no effect on me. My common mantra is, "Embrace your natural shortness, "a doctrine that I cling to with a tenacious determination. I will not follow them. I will not go along with the idiocy of the typical girl. I will not relinquish my beloved old, dilapidated tennis shoes.
A certain girl, appraising my footwear with scornful eyes, tosses her bleached hair over one shoulder and adjusts her scanty amount of clothing to reveal much more of herself. Obviously, her feet are clad in seven inch stilettos over insanely provocative fishnet tights. I glower up at her, and turn to continue on my determined march to my next class.
Before I am able to safely pass, the same girl knocks me with her textbook. "I rilly think you need to be, like, aware of how, like, stupid you, like, look. I mean, like, those hideous shoes, like, make you look, like, stupid. Like, seriously, those things are, like, so unpractical! It doesn't make you look hawt, like, at all! You, like, must be totally stupid to, like, wear that stuff!" she proclaims in a high, jittery tone. Unpractical? Yeah, I'm the stupid one in this equation. I roll my eyes and look her in the eye, barely visible under the thick clumps of makeup obscuring her countenance.
"So, you think high heels are, like, totally not unpractical?" I retort in a sarcastically mocking tone. "Um, hate to burst your bubble, but I'm pretty certain that those things are a bit more unpractical than these shoes. Oh, and you look completely ridiculous in your get up, so unless 'hawt' is a synonym for revolting, I suggest you buy a pair of glasses, because your vision is extremely warped."
She lets out an indignant huff and turns on her heel to depart. Unfortunately for her, she catches the point of her shoe on a stray backpack and is sent tumbling to the ground. Her heel shatters when she attempts to rise from her humiliating position, sending her back to the ground. As I walk past the miserable heap that was once a girl, I mutter, "Totally not unpractical," again under my breath, a smug smirk plastered to my face.
Hi, I didn't really know where to post this, so, because some of it was inspired by maximum ride (namely the sarcasm and hate of heels) I thought I could post it here. Please don't hate me for a lack of faxation (don't ask about my weird term. Basically, faxation is my strange version of fax. I wrote this for a writing competition and got some kind of award, so I really wanted to share it with all of my inspiration, which is fanfiction. YAY!
-Skwaklulz