Hey all，
It's been a while - sorry about that. But here's another chapter for you. Hope you all had safe and happy holidays!

Disclaimer: All rights to Katniss & Co. belong to Suzanne Collins.

Chapter 3

"I want you to call your mother."

I stare at the wall, frozen. If I could move I would have dropped the phone in surprise, but no such luck.

"Katniss! Hello? Katniss!" Dr. Aurelius's voice sounds in my ear, but he sounds a million miles away. I force myself to loosen my death grip on the handle of the phone and try to force myself to remember how to function properly. It's not going so well.

"What?" I ask in a hoarse whisper, I'm shaking.

"Katniss," He sounds relieved. "I just want you to call her, you need this. She needs this, you need to talk to her." He says sincerely.

"No. I don't." I reply softly, almost to myself.

"Yes, you do. You're denying the fact that you want to talk to her, but you're just too scared to face what's waiting for you. I understand that you haven't seen her since, Primrose's death, and you think that once you do this it will make her death real, but you need to move on. I'm not saying forget about her, but you need to keep living your life. She would want you to." Okay, that really got to me. She would want me to. I know he wasn't talking about my mother when he said that.

"No. I don' t need to. Anything, I'll do anything, but that." I say, trying to avoid the unavoidable. I know he knows that I know he's right but he has the decency to just sigh.

"Katniss, you haven't been making life very easy for me. I've had to pretend treating you but now that you're finally picking up your phone I need to do my job. I want you to call your mom as part of your therapy. That's my final word on the matter." He says it gently, but firmly and I know that I owe him, her, and my mom, this one favor, this one phone call.

"I-I'll try." I finally get out.

"That's all I'm asking for, Katniss. I promise, it will help. I'll call you in a week. Your medicine should be there tomorrow. Take the doses you need to and just that. Be sure to keep trying to get into a routine. Over time, I promise, things will start to have meaning again." Yeah, right.

*ooOoo*

The next day I follow Dr. Aurelius's orders and try to start somewhat of a routine.

Wake up.
Make the bed.
Change my clothes.
Brush and braid my hair.
Eat some breakfast.
Brush my teeth.
Go outside, and water Prim's bushes.
If I saw Peeta there, exchange a few words with him. Nothing too heavy. Light conversation. I was keeping to my "I'm a friend" plan. So far it seemed to be working.
Walk to Haymitch's. Make sure he's still breathing.
Go to Greasy Sae's. Stay with her for a few hours. Help her with whatever she was doing.
Eat something at Greasy Sae's.
Go home.
Clean the house.
Weed Prim's bushes.
Take a shower.
Eat dinner.
Go to sleep.
Start all over the next day.

*ooOoo*

Well, I would have started it all again the next day but decided to stop again because it felt weird and wrong to do. After my solitary and unorganized life trying to get back into a somewhat organized life was not going to be easy.
It had been three days of the same routine over and over again. I was on my way back to weed Prim's rose bushes when I ran into Peeta. This was a first, the other days I was somehow able to avoid him. Conversation time. I guess, falling back to the guidelines I set up for myself.

"Hello." I say.

"Hi."

"Did you do some baking today?"

"Yeah. I'll bring some over."

"Okay, thanks."

"You're welcome." And that was that. I turn and continue on with my routine.

*ooOoo*

That night I dreamt of Prim. She looks at me with somber accusing eyes. They seem to ask me, What are you doing, Katniss? For some reason I know she doesn't mean right now in the dream. She means what am I doing with my life. Why am I just going through the motions.

I don't know. Because you're gone. Because I'm alone. No words are spoken, but she seem to understand. She shakes her head sadly at me and gets me to my feet. I didn't even know I was sitting. She lets go of my hand and starts walking and I realize we're going into the forest surrounding District 12.
No! I want to tell her. It's dangerous! But no warning can escape my lips. With no choice, I follow her. She smiles at me and walks through the trees. Oh, now I know where she's going. The meadow.
When we reach there another girl seems to materialize out of thin air. Rue. Her arms hover like wings, ready to take flight at a moments notice. Prim runs to her and they embrace. The smile at me and beckon me forward. I walk slowly to them. With every step I take another one of my friends and family come back to me. First my father, then Finnick. Cinna and Boggs are next, and so on and so forth, until I'm surrounded. I feel a tear slip down my face as I see their healthy, smiling faces. Without moving their lips, their voices echo in my ears. They all tell me.
We're okay. Don't worry about us. Be happy. Don't be afraid to smile again, laugh again. Don't be afraid to live again.
All around me there's a bright light. It's blinding. No, I don't want to leave them yet! No! But still smiling, they leave one by one until only Prim is left. She comes up to me, kisses my cheek, and she's gone too. The light becomes so harsh I have to close my eyes.

My eyes flash open again, sun beams making me squint. It was all a dream. Just a dream, no nightmares. It the first time since that last night I slept with Peeta that I slept free of the nightmares. I even felt rested and let's just say, better than I had in a long time.
I sat up in bed. And looked at myself in the mirror. I hadn't bothered to take a bath yesterday, my hair was in a rat's nest. Dirt was still caked under my nails. Did I look this bad when I saw Peeta yesterday. No, I had changed my clothes. But I looked down to see I had failed to take off my father's hunting jacket, again.
Prim's face enters my mind as I sit there. I still remember my dream, as if she were standing before me in real life. She was disappointed in me. I was going through the motions, not even really surviving. I grind my teeth together. Even though fate made the mistake of taking her life and keeping me alive, I would try and fight. Fight for Prim, fight for Rue. Fight and live for my Father and Finnick who was never going to see his baby son again. Live for them. I knew then that even if it didn't seem like it now. I would be okay. Not perfect, not as happy or as whole as I was before, but okay. I would survive, even if it felt like it was killing me in the process, I would survive.
I take a deep breath and get up and walk to the phone. I grab the number that I've stashed away in the cupboard and with a deep breath and shaking hands I dial.

As the phone rings I try and remove some of the dirt under my nails with a small pocket knife I had found in one of the kitchen drawers. It looked better but not much.

"Hello?" My mother's voice was like a punch in the gut. I feel as though I lost all my breath in my lungs leaving me gasping for air.

"Hello?" She repeats sounding concerned. After another few seconds of silence she asks, "Katniss?" I put the phone back down in the cradle and take small steps away from the phone. I wasn't ready. Not yet. I burst into tears.

*ooOoo*

The next day I braced myself and tried again.

"Hello?" She sounded the same, but now that I had gotten over the initial shock of yesterday I could hear the sorrow buried deep under her voice.

"Hi." I whisper, my voice cracking. I clear my throat and my voice comes out stronger the second time, "Hi." I say.

"Katniss?" My mom asks, hope and longing in her voice. She missed me.

"Yeah. Sorry I took so long to call." I say quietly.

"It's alright, honey. Are you okay?" She asks just as timidly.

"Yes. Dr. Aurelius has been checking up on me." I say.

"Oh, that's good, that's good." She sounds distracted.

"How about you are you okay over there?" I ask. I felt ashamed that she had to ask me before I asked her. Normally I was the one who did the caring for, not the one on the recieving end of it.

"I'm okay. I like helping out the doctors here." Her voice caught. "There are still a lot of injured civilians." Then she finally starts weeping. I start crying too.

"Prim," her name stuck to my throat, "would have been proud of you." I tell her. I just her whimpers through the phone. Crackly and distant.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm sorry, but I couldn't go back there, I just couldn't stand it. Being in that house..." without her. She didn't say it but I knew what she meant.

"No, I understand, Mother. It's okay." I say trying to be strong, for her, for Prim.

"You were always the stronger one out of us." My mom finally says. I feel a small flutter of affection in my chest. She had never said it before, even though we both knew it, she had never said it actual words. "She would be proud of you too." I my throat constrict with unshed tears. I knew she couldn't bring herself to say her name yet but it was a start. The healing, for both of us, would have to start somewhere.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll call you again soon." I said.

"Okay." Her voice sounds small and I would have given anything to have her there with me so I could wrap my arms around her.

"Take care of yourself. I love you." I say, feeling the need to end the conversation quickly. I didn't want to open anymore wounds.

"I will." She promises. "You do too. Say 'Hi' to Peeta for me." She says. There's a maternal edge to her voice that rarely made an appearance. She didn't know that our relationship, or whatever it was, was still a long work in progress.

"I will." I say then hang up. I felt as if a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My mom was okay. Our family was broken, but it was healing and it would continue to as time went on. It didn't feel like that right now, but I had to hope. I had to hope that tomorrow it would be better.

*ooOoo*

Later that day as I was watering Prim's roses an idea took root in my head, as I pondered it it blossomed into an idea. A very solid idea. I suddenly knew what I wanted to do. Something that would keep me occupied and something that would be important to all of our healing. It was going to take time and it was going to hurt like hell. But it needed to be done. I would need Peeta's help with it as I couldn't even draw a straight line. But all of a sudden hope flickered in my dormant heart. Maybe, this was it. My way to get back with Peeta. My way to prove we were friends, not enemies. My way to make things right.

What is Katniss's new plan? Just wait and see. :) Until then, may the odds be ever in your favor.

~Mx2Blue326