AN: I suck. I hope you don't hate me for taking so long to update this story, but truth be told there were a lot of factors that went into the delay of this update. I won't bore you with the details because at this point you just want to read the story right? Right.
It's been a few months since the taco truck incident. All had returned to normal with Freddie and Carly's relationship. Carly went about her business and didn't notice the brown eyes of her best friend/hero/almost boyfriend; those brown eyes of the boy that I catch myself staring at lately.
I don't even know what came over me. Okay so I do know what, but it scares me to no end. I can't possibly… I can't even bring myself to say it never mind think it.
We're finishing a rehearsal for a baby Spencer bit when Carly asks us if we want something to drink. She leaves using the stairs. I see Freddie craning his neck to watch her leave and feel a pang of jealousy. I can almost kick myself but instead I channel my anger toward Freddie.
"Let it go" I shout at him.
He turns to face forward again. He gives me a cold stare and just returns back to his tech cart.
"Your hero status has worn off and you know what; she doesn't want to date you just like I said." I tell him hoping it hurts.
"And who's to say she doesn't," Freddie says trying to shake me.
"Has she talked to you about it?" I ask curiously because to be honest I want to know.
Freddie looks away avoiding my eyes and my curiosity gets the best of me. I walk over to him and turn his entire body around to face me. I look him square in the eye and ask him again.
"Have you talked to her about it?"
He stares at me unblinking and I feel uneasy. It's then that I realize how close we are. I've got one hand wrapped around his wrist and the other gripping the small blue iCarly remote. I look back up at his face and I see his eyes still staring into my own and for some reason it scared me. I let go of his arm but I'm glued to the spot inches from his face. He searches my face some more before he mutters an answer.
"No" he whispers.
Before I can comprehend what just happened the elevator kicks into life as Carly makes her way back up with the drinks.
"Here's some of my special lemonade!" She announces carrying a tray with three tall colorful glasses of liquid topped off with drink umbrellas.
We sit down on bean bag chairs and start talking about the show. I twirl the umbrella between my fingers as I listen to Carly talking about the new bit we were introducing on the show tonight. I find myself glancing over at Freddie often only to see him giving that longing stare to Carly. The tiny umbrella meets its end in my hands as I get angry. I jump up quickly hoping to make a quick exit before I completely fall apart in front of them.
"Sam? Are you alright?" Carly asks me concerned.
"I'm fine. I just need some air. I'll be back before the show tonight," I assure them biting back the angry tears that were threatening to come out. I glance once more at Freddie before exiting the studio.
FREDDIE'S POV
Sam had left leaving me and Carly alone in the studio. She looked upset but I'm too distracted thinking about our confrontation earlier. I was hoping that she was wrong about Carly but I'm too afraid to find out for myself. I debate in my head for a while before resolving that it was now or never.
"Carly?"
"Yeah" she answers taking a sip before placing the cup on the tray beside her.
"I was wondering and I'd understand if you're not ready to talk about this I mean I'm pretty sure I'm not ready either but here I go and so I was wondering" I ramble looking down at the wood paneling of the floor.
"Freddie what's up?" Carly asks me confused.
I take a few deep breaths before looking up and I instantly regret it. Carly's face is too distracting for her own good. I take one last deep breath and gather my thoughts before opening my mouth again.
"Do you remember that agreement we made a few months back?" I ask her trying to start off slowly.
"No," Carly answers with a look of pure confusion.
"Remember when I saved you from that truck," I begin watching her face intently waiting for signs of understanding. As soon as the word 'saved' pops up I see the comprehension.
She remembers, I think to myself. I wait for her to reply impatiently.
"Listen Freddie," She begins uneasily.
I notice her squirm uncomfortably in her pink bean bag chair.
"You don't feel the same do you?" I ask her sadly.
"No," she says guiltily "I'm sorry Freddie but you were right. I let what you did influence me and in the end you're still the same Freddie and I'm the same Carly as before; just friends."
'Just friends' is the nail in the coffin. My short-lived romance with Carly was going to remain that way.
SAM'S POV
I don't go far after I storm out of the studio. I grab my bag off of Carly's couch and head down the hallway of Freddie and Carly's apartment plaza. I find the place I'm looking for and make sure no one is around before opening the window and stepping out onto the fire escape.
I sit down on the metal steps and dig through my bag for my pearpod and thoughtlessly pick a song before putting the blue ear buds in. I hum along with Adele's Chasing Pavements while I staring up at the darkening Seattle sky.
By now my tears break my resolve and are staining my cheeks. I wipe at my eyes fruitlessly, the tears won't stop so I let them run their course.
I watch as an airplane crosses the sky, and clear my mind. I'm trying to make sense of the intense emotions I was feeling.
Love. I don't know when it happened but I fell in it; with Freddie of all people too. I didn't even know how it happened for crying out loud.
Okay so I'm lying but still, I thought it was just a crush. You know that usual crush that comes when you share your first kiss with them. But that was a year ago, it should have gone away by now. Instead it had only grown stronger.
I blame Freddie though, with his stupid little smirk every time he makes fun of me. Even his making fun of me, no one ever does that willingly knowing how violent I am. That boy has seriously gotten under my skin.
Why did I have to go remind him about Carly? He's probably up their right now asking her out. I don't even know how Carly feels. I never wanted to rock the boat by asking her either. This is all so confusing.
"Ugh!" I groan. I lean my head back against the steps as I let the next song fill my head and thoughts. Pretty soon I'm humming along with the Lady Antebellum song "Need you Now" and I become lost in my own little world.
Seconds, minutes, hours later, I don't really know at this point, I'm being awaken by cold droplets of rain falling on my face. I check my phone and grimace when I notice the 3 missed calls and 8 texts; all from Carly.
I skim my texts as I make my way back to the Shay's apartment almost bumping into Freddie as he made his way out.
"Oh there you are! Carly just sent me out to look for you,"
"Well here I am, let's get this over with,"
"What's with you?" He asks me opening the door.
I just glare at him for a while before gently pushing my way around him. Ignoring him right now was for the best; plus it's not like he actually cares. He doesn't press the issue any further as he follows me into the elevator for an awkwardly quiet ride up to the studio.
The show goes anything but smooth. I ignore Freddie throughout the entire show, and Freddie broods behind his tech cart. Carly tries unsuccessfully to carry the show through the tension.
Freddie immediately excuses himself after the show; my eyes once again follow him as he closes the door behind him as he takes the stairs.
"Do you think Freddie will be alright?" Carly asks me.
I don't give her an answer because frankly I don't care right now.
"I mean, I thought he had gotten over me already. It has been almost 6 months,"
Right there, I almost snap. I bite back the harsh words that would normally have no problem leaving my mouth. Carly is the smartest person I know, but sometimes she can be so clueless. Is she really going to ignore the facts? Freddie has been fawning over her since day 1. He's never going to get over her. And there's that pang again. Could I be anymore screwed in the head? (Or heart for this matter)
I don't think I can handle this right now so I say goodnight to Carly and practically sprint for the door. I feel Carly's eyes on me as step into the elevator but I ignore them. I pause just outside of the door and glare at the door across from me. The image of what lays behind this door floods my brain and the waters of this image spill from my eyes.
Damn it! I scold myself, why am I crying? I guess this answers my earlier question. I really couldn't be more screwed in the heart. I don't even bother to wipe my tears as I head down the hallway. I know that I'm in no shape to go home.
Now I'm walking the halls of Bushwell aimlessly until I find myself back at the fire escape from earlier. It's still raining but I won't let it bother me. I step out of the window onto the metal grate of the fire escape. I instantly walk over to the edge and peer out over the city of Seattle. People complain a lot about the weather but I think the city is breath taking when it rains like this. I close my eyes and let the cool drizzle wash away my thoughts.
It's a small escape though as I hear someone clearing their throat behind me.
"Sam?"
I know that voice. Freddie.
AN: 1 more part left :D I'm excited, are you?