I really can't deal with this now. I turn around slowly and Freddie's confused and concerned face is staring at me from the window.
"What are you doing out here?" he asks me stepping out of the window to join me. "Are you crying?"
I don't answer him though; instead I make a break for it. I run for the window and try to jump through it. Freddie stops me by blocking my escape. I panic and go for the next best thing. I start to run down the stairs only to slip on the wet metal. Freddie hurries over to where I'm laying.
"Sam what the hell is going on?" He asks helping me to my feet.
"None of your damn business!" I say yanking myself from his grip. "You have no right to pretend that you care about me!"
I can see that my words have stung him and at this point I don't care. I'm tired of pretending I don't care. But he doesn't give up.
"Sam, what's wrong?"
I stare at him for awhile trying to come up with a plan to avoid telling him the truth, but at this point I'm tired.
"I lied to you Freddie" I say hoping that he just blows it off and won't inquire any further. But that smallest hope had no chance.
"That's nothing new. Now tell me what's really going on."
"I'm out of here," I say before trying to make another escape.
"Sam, seriously are you okay?" Freddie said pulling me back. He looked at me with pleading eyes and I give in.
"Do you remember when those guys came out of Spencer's pants and tied us to those chairs?" I can see the look of confusion on his face. He's trying to figure out the connection before I explained it to him and he doesn't see it yet. "And Carly asked us about our kiss" I finally add.
He starts getting visibly uncomfortable, probably thinking that if he talks about it again that I'll hit him. He nods his head cautiously and fearfully.
"What was your answer?" I ask and I can tell that he wasn't expecting that.
"I don't know what you're talking about," He answers and I can't tell if he's just playing dumb or if he genuinely doesn't remember.
"She asked us if we liked the kiss," I answer somewhat desperately.
He still looks confused but I can see him thinking of the safest way to answer the question, the answer that won't provoke an attack.
"Please just be honest Freddie, I'm trying here"
He hesitates still before slowly giving me his answer. "It was nice, I guess"
"No! Not you 'guess' you either know how you feel or you don't!" I yell at him causing him to cringe.
"Okay fine. Honestly it was nothing special. It was just to get it over with right?" Freddie asks, but I'm still stuck on the nothing special part. I'm trying my best to mask the disappointment but it's almost like telling the rain to stop.
Almost as if on cue, the rain began falling harder like God was proving my point for me. I push my wet bangs behind my ears and say what I have to say before I choke on my words.
"Well here's what I thought. I liked the kiss, as first kisses go." I said only to see Freddie open his mouth to speak again. "No, you're going to let me finish." I warn him
"I was hoping that you possibly felt the same way, but I was wrong. I lied to you that night Freddie. I don't hate you."
"Well I don't hate you either Sam."
"I said to let me finish. This is incredibly hard for me, don't you see that?" I cried. I wondered if he could see my tears or if he just thought it was the rain.
I wait a while before I find the nerve to speak again. "This may be hard to believe but I like you Freddie. I like you a whole lot more than I should have allowed myself to. For Christ's sake you're in love with my best friend! How pathetic am I?" by this point I'm on a roll. I'm pacing back and forth doing everything in my power to not look at Freddie. "For years you've had this twisted obsession with Carly and I've been there to remind you of just that. You never once gave up on it, not once! Even after I told you that her crush on you wouldn't last. I just don't understand how someone so smart could be so dumb."
"Hey!" Freddie began before I gave him an if-looks-could-kill glare. He reluctantly allowed me to continue.
"Then again, how could I be so dumb as to fall for the one guy who wouldn't be able to return my feelings." At this point I may have been talking to myself trying to get everything out into the open. "It's just you always came back. Every time I would push, you'd push back. You grew a backbone and suddenly I just saw what was there all along no matter how hard I've been trying to ignore it. But now I'm just done, I won't put myself through it anymore Freddie. Are you happy now?"
I looked up at him only to see he had closed the distance between us, he looked at me with what seemed to be a mixture of fear and curiosity. I froze thinking to myself – What is he doing?
I didn't have to wonder much longer when Freddie pressed his lips to my own. I was horrified, isn't this what I wanted?
No I decided, as I pushed him to the ground.
"What the hell Sam? I thought you wanted me to do that!" Freddie yelled as he picked himself up.
"No it's not what I wanted Freddie, I want you to kiss me because YOU want too not because you think that's what you're supposed to do. I want you to like me for your own reasons that don't involve me spilling my guts to you. And most of all I want you to forget everything I told you tonight. I'm done. Goodbye Freddie." I said walking away from him.
The rain at this point was torrential and I was soaked. I made the ten block trek home but didn't go inside immediately. Instead I sat on the outside steps and let the rain wash over me, almost like physically wiping the slate clean after tonight or at least that's what I fooled myself into thinking. If I were honest with myself I'd admit that I hadn't let go.
-Freddie's POV
I feel like I entered the twilight zone. Samantha Puckett just told me that she likes me. Sam Puckett likes me, Freddie Benson. I could wrap my mind around that bombshell, so I did something crazy and kissed her, which turned out to be the wrong thing to do.
My pants were soaked from where Sam had pushed me down. I brushed any dirt off the backside and made my way back inside just in time for a down pour. I hesitated on whether or not I should make sure she got home alright but in the end I decided not to. There was also no way I could go back to my apartment and attempt to explain to my mom why I was wet when to her knowledge I was just at Carly's. So that's just where I went. Spencer opened the door for me, he looked like he was going to question me but I stopped him with a question of my own.
"Can I use your bathroom?"
"Uh sure…did you want to borrow some clothes too?" He asked while turning off the TV.
"No thanks; there should be some extra clothes in the studio." I say before disappearing into the hallway that led to the Shays' bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror for a good minute still trying to process everything. It's a lot to handle. First Carly the girl of my dreams turns me down. Not only was I crushed after that but then her best friend and my best friend for lack of a best word admits that she likes me. So I kiss her because maybe I like her too.
AN: I swear that this will be finished tonight, i just needed to post this as motivation to get it done.