Tanya Denali

That's all she ever was to me. Just a name. That's all she pretty much was to anybody.

We knew WHO she was. Tanya, daughter of the richest family in town. Moved here 2 years ago, freshman year.

When the "FOR SALE" sign went down and a "SOLD" sign went up in front of the biggest house in the town, the entire town was shocked. This is Forks, not exactly the most extravagant city. That "FOR SALE" sign was probably in front of that house for 3 years. We could tell, since the house was on the outskirts of town, on a little hill. Anyone could look east, and you'd see that house, no matter what. Apparently the people who used to live there owned that house for decades, but never visited. They came maybe once every 5 years for a week just to make sure everything worked. No one knew them either. All I knew was that they had the last name of Johnson, and that was all everyone knew.

They decided to finally sell the house 5 years ago, because apparently it was just a burden to have this random house that you owned, when you lived in Los Vegas or wherever they lived. No one expected someone to buy it. They were selling it for a hefty price, and anyone who could afford to buy that house, wouldn't want to live in Forks. They could buy that same exact house in Beverly Hills for the same price. So, when the Denali's bought that house, the town was confused on why someone in their right minds would decide to live in a tiny, depressing looking town, if they had money to be somewhere else.

When they arrived, it wasn't a limo, but it wasn't a pick-up truck either. Just a large moving van with a Lexus in tow. Still a lot nicer car than anyone else in town. Outside, the house didn't change. No new flowers, or gardens, or decorations. It seemed the only thing that changed about the house was that there was a car in the driveway and the windows were lit up.

They moved in July, middle of summer. All the way until the beginning of school, we never saw them. Not once. At the time, we didn't know what their names were, or how many there were of them. They didn't seem to be the social type. That car never seemed to leave the driveway. We'd all glance up at the hill, and it was always the same. Looked like a barren house, with a really nice, shiny care in front. Probably one of the oddest pictures.

Once freshman year started, everyone was anticipating the 1st day. We knew they had kids, but we didn't know how old or what grade. So the entire town, families with kids in 3rd grade, and families with kids in 12th, were all waiting to see at least one Denali.

Some of the towns most known housewives like Mrs. Stanley were actually suspicious of them. She would tell the town about how she thought Mrs. Denali was a teacher at the high school, because she got kicked out of her old town's school for "confidential stuff". Or how Mr. Denali is Schizophrenic and doesn't go out in public. Pretty much stupid bullshit. No one believed her, not even her daughter Jessica. But Mrs. Stanley was still very cautious of them, so she told some of us how on the first day of school, they need to get out of their house, to take the kid(s) to school. So her plan was to wake up extra early, and sit on her brick wall, and stare at the old, lonely house on the hill, with her camera. And she thinks the Denali's have problems...

Unfortunately that didn't work out as planned for her. By the time she got outside, the Denali's car wasn't in the driveway. I know, the Stanleys live right across the street, and I could hear her cursing her heart out. But that is still kind of weird how their car is gone, at 6:30 in the morning.

School for me was the same for everyone else. Its our first year of high school, but honestly, it's like our Junior High moving to a different location. There's only one high school and one junior high in town, so everyone is going to the same high school, and no one new is coming, except if you moved out of town. Like maybe one of the Denali's. At the time, we still weren't sure.

At school, since we all know each other, and have probably been together since kindergarten, we don't exactly have a "popular" crowd. We have groups, and pretty much everyone stays with their group, but no group is like "superior" to another. There are the people who would seem popular because they're the beautiful ones. But they were fine. We were all nice to each other, but we just didn't talk as much to the other people out of our group than the people in our group. Unless you were the goth group... no one really talked to them, and they seemed fine by themselves. But there's the normal sports people, musical people, theater people, brainniacs. We were nice to each other, but you wouldn't catch a theater person hanging out with a sports person outside of school. It just doesn't work.

Me, I belong to the theater group. I could be with the musical people, since I play the violin, but I had to chose only one elective for school, and I chose theater, since I can still play the violin outside of school. Not a lot of people know I play the violin, only my close friends do. So I'm a theater person, and I'm glad I picked that instead of music. My two best friends, Alice and Rosalie are also in theater, and if I chose music, I would never had become their friend.

That first day, I didn't see anyone new. Apparently no one else did either because once someone found out something, it'll get around like wildflower.

I went over to the wall, with everyone's first period listed. When we get to our first period, the teacher will have our entire schedule. When I went over, my name wasn't the first one I looked for. Apparently neither was a lot of peoples. There was a clump of people around the D's. I saw Jessica Stanley around there, so I knew they were looking at the same spot I was going for. Look for the name Denali. It wasn't that hard to find, someone had circled it about a million times on the paper. Tanya. 1st period History with Shaw. I had 1st period Trig with Thompson. Guess I won't see the new girl 1st period. I scanned the list for Alice and Rosalie... Alice had 1st period with Tanya, but Rosalie had PE. Oh, can't wait to see her have her tantrum. If there's one thing she can't deal with, it's being sticky and sweaty 1st period, then for the rest of the day.

I knew I'd see them all in my 2nd period because theater was always 2nd period. So, I guess I'll have some info on Tanya next period. Walking to 1st period was what I suspected. Groups of people talking, and running up to other groups they haven't talk to. I had about the entire school come up to me at least once on my walk asking "Have you seen her?" That seemed to happen to everyone, since once I shook my head, they quickly moved to another person walking next to me.

1st period was just the same. Some people walked by the History class to glance into the window quickly to see if they could catch a glance at the mystery girl, but of course, Mr. Shaw's classroom is filled with posters everywhere, so when you look into the window, you just stare at blackness, which is just the back of a poster. No use trying to look in between the cracks, because Mr. Shaw had layers of posters. I bet if you tear 5 layers of posters down, you'll find something from the 80's. But some of those people who were brave enough to go into the room, told about what they saw. No one wants to go into Mr. Shaw's room without being in his class. Even those who are in his class will soon learn that they don't want to be there either. He is what you call a man who follows the book. He finds you in the room, and he'll ask you to immediately show you your schedule. If you aren't scheduled to be in his room, BAM you're in the principles office for being a disruption to the class. A lot of people have already heard of this because of older siblings or older friends, but some still thought it was worth the risk, if it was being able to see the girl.

So, apparently she is wearing all black, and sits in the very back. Reading a book. That's what everyone told me during 1st period. So, did they get all this information from the same person? I asked for more information, but they said "That's all they told me". So, I asked who told them, and followed the chain of people. I got lead to 4 people, the 4 who were brave enough to go into the class. I know they didn't go into the class together, since they were all from different groups of people. It was the first time I associated the 4 of them together in my life. So, 4 different people going in and seeing the girl all at different times. And they all got the same 3 facts. Black, back of the room, and book.

The bell that signaled the end of 1st period went off, and people rushed out, and some rushed in. When I saw a spiky head, I was worried. How can Alice have Trig 2nd period? That's the theater period! Did she not get in? Well, she didn't go to a seat. She went smack into me.

"Come on Bella! We have to go to 2nd, and I have SO much to tell you".

So that told me to follow her, wherever she wanted to go. She grabbed my wrist, and for a 5 foot tall person, she's got some strength. I didn't really have an option on whether I wanted to follow her or not. When we got out of the classroom, right there was Rose. Alice let go of me, because I had to follow her now, since we were going to the same place.

"Okay Alice, spill. What is she like?" Of course Rose would ask that. That gossip hungry girl. If she wasn't in theater, she'd definitely be part of the "popular" people. Beautiful, wants gossip, and nice.

"Okay, most bizarre period... I walked in, and it seemed pretty normal. Half the class was there, so I decided to sit next to Mike. But, everyone was silent. I knew I had her in the class, but when I walked in, I knew everyone so I just thought she hasn't come yet. But I didn't look enough, because when Mike moved his head to the corner of the room, there was like... this pile of black. There was some white, but that was from her skin and the pages of her book. She was just sitting there, dressed in all black, with really pale skin, reading a book. I'm not even sure if she noticed that there were 5 people staring at her, but she just kept her head down, staring at her book. I didn't see her move at all, except when she turned the page.

"Then once class started, Mr. Shaw said 'We have a new student this year. Tanya Denali'. Then, the entire class turned around to look at her, and she was exactly the same as she was before, except her eyes weren't on the book, they were up. Looking up at us. She wasn't ugly, but you couldn't see that much of her, since her eyes had tons of mascara, but it didn't look like a raccoon. She just scanned the class, then nodded her head, and went back to her book. The weirdest thing was that she had her hood on. And you guys know how Mr. Shaw's really big on rules and stuff? He didn't say anything about her hood, he just let it stay there. In fact, Mr. Shaw didn't even acknowledge her at all. He never even glanced back at that corner of the room".

"Have you heard her talk?" I asked.

"Nope. I haven't heard any sounds come out of that girl. No coughing, sneezing, hiccuping. Nothing at all."

By that time, we were in front of the theater room. We went through the rest of our periods pretty normal. But every new period, there were always people talking about her. But they had the exact same information that I already had from Alice. Nothing new. Never anything new. Tyler had all of his classes with Tanya, so by the end of school, everyone was around him. If anyone could have any on her, it would have to be him, since he's with her for the whole day.

But he didn't have anything new either. She acted the same for all the periods. Her elective was Drafting 101, so she was pretty much in a room filled with guys. She never talked, and never look up either from her book, or from the paper she was writing notes on.

Jessica tried to talk to her, so on the 2nd day, she found out Tanya's 6th period, and when the bell rang, she ran straight to Miller, English. When Tanya went out of the class (she was the last person to walk out of the room) Jessica went right next to her and said, "Hey I'm Jessica! You're Tanya right?" and stuck out her hand for a handshake. Tanya just stood there, looked up at Jessica, then shook her head. But didn't walk away. Jessica kept on walking with her, so Tanya followed. Jessica was just rambling her mouth off, and Tanya just kept on walking towards the Lexus where her parents were. When Jessica had to walk a different way, she said "Bye Tanya!" and waved. Tanya looked back, and did the first normal thing. She didn't wave, but she just flicked her hand out, so it was just a really small, fast wave. The Lexus' windows were completely blacked out, so we still didn't know what her parents looked like.

That's all we got out of Tanya for the next two years. She never joined a group, because the only group she could join was the Drafting/Mechanical group, which was made up of all guys. The next two years were all the same. People went on with their daily lives. No one tried to talk to Tanya again. We didn't think she was emo or anything, or that she hated the world, we just thought she was this girl who wanted silence, and preferred to be alone. She was never mean or blew people off. To us, Tanya was just a girl that was always just there. There wasn't really substance to her. If there was, she wasn't letting us in. We didn't really care either, if she didn't want us, then we were fine with that. She didn't seem particularly interesting. In fact, she seemed kinda boring. All she did was read and write down notes. Not one teacher told her to put down her hood, and she was never called upon.

No one really paid any attention to her after that first week of high school. Not until April 28th of sophomore year.

The day she killed herself.

We did not see it coming at all. The 27th, it was the same as usual. She didn't talk, didn't do anything out of the ordinary. But, that night she hung herself. She didn't leave a note or anything. She only left her body that her parents found the next day.

At school, that was the first time Tanya's ever been absent. For someone we barely pay attention to, everyone noticed she was absent. The morning periods went by normal, but every so often, someone would automatically look into the corner of the room, making sure she really was absent, and we just didn't see her, because she blended into the shadow.

Lunch gave us answers. The first thing we all did was look east at the house on the hill. Ambulances and Police cars surrounded the place. So, we knew something was wrong. But that wasn't enough for Mike Newton. He made it his job to figure out exactly what's going on. So, he went off campus without permission, and went up to that hill. It was surrounded with caution tape, but he didn't seem to give a damn. He just went over it, and went on the left side of the house. He eavesdropped on the conversation the police men were having for about a minute, then sneaked back on campus. He told everyone what he heard. His 15 seconds of fame.

"They were just standing there, talking. I couldn't hear it all, but I heard 'dead', 'didn't leave note', 'no reason why', and 'hung'. Obviously she killed herself."

We all kind of just stood around, staring in random directions. It didn't really make sense to us. Why she would do it in the first place. I didn't think we were mean to her, we just ignored her, and she did the same to us.

The rest of the school day was pretty seldom. We weren't as happy as usual, but we weren't crying. It was like our goldfish died. You have a goldfish for a long time, but they don't really do anything to effect your life. They're just there. Then, once it dies, you notice and are a little sad, but not long-term. You get over it the next day. Pretty soon, it's almost like it never existed. That's what I thought was going to happen with Tanya.

But her parents wouldn't allow that.

Her parents reacted the same way any other parent would. First anger, then sadness, then reason.

Her parents blamed the school for this. It was the only place she went besides her house. And she was fine at home apparently, because her parents claimed that she was a happy-go-lucky kid at home. But it took time to get that Tanya out. When she first came home from school, she wasn't. She was almost depressed looking. But eventually, around dinner time she would be back to the "normal Tanya" her parents knew.

So, since they obviously had a lot of money, because they bought the large house on the hill, they sued the school. That was the anger part. They tried to close down the school, but that was technically illegal since it was the only high school in the town. So, they decided to just sue them for $50,000. Not like they need it, they just wanted the school to literally pay for what they did.

But before they could go through with it, came the sadness. They decided to not sue, about a week before they were going to go to court. They didn't come out of the house for about 2 months. School finished, and her suicide was still a mystery. None of us wanted to take the blame for killing someone, so we all kind of just concluded that it wasn't us, it was something different. Maybe something in her past.

We knew we were lying to ourselves. We just couldn't handle the guilt of actually taking someone's life. Some of the ignorant people think that she was overreacting. They said we weren't mean or rude to her, we tried to be her friend, she just didn't allow it. And now, she goes off and kills herself for being alone, when she didn't do anything to prevent the loneliness.

Pretty soon half the school, then more than half started thinking that. They started blaming Tanya for her own death. Saying she had no reason to kill herself. By the time August came, more than 75% of the town thought this was only Tanya problem, and that she brought it on herself. Alice, Rosalie, and I were part of the 25% that still thought there was a good reason she did it.

Tanya's parents heard about what these people were saying, which triggered the last part of grieving someone who died. Reason and rationality.

That's what lead Mr. and Mrs. Denali to my front door August 16th.