"Sam, how about we don't do this now? Get some sleep, we'll talk when…."
"I don't need sleep, I need answers Dean. I'm trying here, really trying…if I could have left you….been able to bring myself to leave…..." he paused, needing a deep breath. "I'd already be out there after them…"
"Yeah ok, see, that's the problem, you can't just go after someone Sam."
"You're telling me you're ok with what they did to you?"
"NO! No, but you're in no condition to hunt Sam, you can't think clearly, you…..you, shit man, you….." he shook his head at Suzie when it appeared she was going to try to help him make Sam see reason. The 'let me handle this' look he shot her was clear, he didn't want her trying to help. "Look, we will go after them, okay? We will, but not now, it can't be now. You're right, I need full use of my hands and you need back up….ah-ah." Dean cut him off before he could voice the objection hovering on his tongue. "You don't have to like it, I don't expect you to, but Sam, come on."
"I'm not going to let them get away with this"
"And what will you do? Haven't you learned anything?"
"Don't." Sam got up to pace, needing to do something. "Don't twist this around and lay it at my feet Dean, don't you do that. I don't ask for much out of life, not happiness, not comfort. I don't expect my life to be easy or normal and I accepted long ago I'll never have what I want, but dammit, I need a reason to get up every morning. It can't be expectations of a home, a life, so I settle for what I do have and no one, not even you, is going to take that away from me, not again, not ever again."
"Every time you go off on some act of vengeance…..or go off in search of answers…..it always ends bad Sammy."
"FINE! Ok? FINE, all I'm asking for are answers, that's all." it's not what he wanted, but it's what he would settle for. What he wanted, now that Dean was doing better was to leave him with Bobby where he'd be safe and come back to town and do things his way. If that meant burning an innocent town to the ground, well, he just couldn't find it within himself at the moment to care. "Just talk to me Dean, just give me some answers!"
"You were in another one of your snits." Dean had to sit down, yeah, he was feeling better, but was still somewhat weak and dizzy, especially when he was upright longer than a few minutes. "We split, you for whatever reason, wanted to go the library at that Yellow Brick School…."
"Yellowstone College." Sam interjected, missing Dean's small smile of gloating triumph. If Sam was able to correct him, he was more in control than Dean had thought. That was a good sign, a damn good sign. "And it wasn't the library. It was a visiting collection of ancient Biblical readings and manuscripts."
"Whatever, point is, you'll remember I had no interest in going…."
"You were supposed to be lying low and taking it easy after that job went south….."
"Yeah, well, see, I was reading the paper and….what? I do read you know." he pouted defensively. "Okay, fine, I was bored Sam….."
"Alone and bored are not acceptable reasons to take off by yourself while injured!" Sam growled. He conveniently ignored the fact he had, on more than one occasion, taken off and left his brother on his own. "I left you the lap top….oh…..you researched further, didn't you?"
"Yup, drove out here to investigate, met Suzie here, spent the weekend, finished the job, like I said, a simple salt and burn."
"You were supposed to stay at the motel. I ordered cable for you that weekend." Sam glared. "You lied to me, snuck off, did a job on your own and never told me about it."
"Well, if you insist on looking at it that way…..yeah."
"Who are they and what did they want?" Sam would address that issue later, when Dean was feeling better and capable of fighting back. He'd be needing both hands, because Sam was going to thoroughly trounce his brothers ass.
Sneaking off without calling Sam or Bobby for back-up to do a job when he was supposedly tucked up safe in a motel room recuperating from yet another blow to the head and a dislocated shoulder was not going to be hand-waved away.
"I don't know who they are."
"Were they human?"
"Far as I could tell, yeah….."
"They drove the Sheriff off the road and took you from the car; I get that, but why?" Sam pushed. "They had you for what, three hours? You fought those cuffs Dean, don't deny it, why? What did they do?"
"You know what they did."
"Yeah, fucking dragged you…..how did you get away?"
"The pipe they cuffed my hands over finally broke."
"So, they hung you by your hands." Dean didn't like the look that crossed Sam's face. "Before or after dragging you?"
"Look, I'm ok….let's….." Dean tried lamely. "Sam…come on."
"Before or after." his voice held an edge, had deepened with emotion, nostrils flaring. Grabbing his brother for one reason or another was one thing, hurting him to the point it bordered on torture was quite another. "Before or after?!"
Dean rubbed at his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "After." maybe he should cut this conversation short and go lay down. He hated to resort to manipulation to control his brother, but the truth was he wasn't feeling so good.
His mind wandered, something he should never let happen when Sam was on the verge of a full-blown snit fit. He was getting hot flashes, felt flushed and had moments of sudden sweating, wondered if this was what women going through menopause felt like, it if was, they had his sympathy because it sucked, big time.
Sam sucked his breath in, momentarily stunned, sickened by the mental image of Dean hanging from hands that had been torn apart…the pain that had to have caused. He gave himself a shake; he'd seen the result himself hadn't he? And Sam hadn't been there to help him, he'd had to fight through the pain and free himself and …what the hell was he doing?
"What the fuck are you doing?" Sam demanded. "Are you fanning yourself?"
Dean flushed guiltily and dropped the Cosmo magazine he didn't even know he'd been waving about.
"Mrs. Simpkins owns the house the, uh, ghost had haunted." Suzie spoke up. "She wasn't overly happy when Dean put it to rest. Apparently, it never harmed her and she enjoyed its company. However, it wasn't as friendly to the hunter or lost hiker that strayed across any part of her property."
"You think she hired these three thugs to find Dean?"
"No." Suzie shook her head. "They came to town looking for him, I'm sure they went to the police, they would have been directed to county lock up and once there, they would have met Mrs. Simpkins. She would have known right away Dean was the same person who torched her ghost."
"And yet the Sheriff was taking him to lock him up where he was easily accessible?"
"Sheriff Dobbin is a good guy Sam, just a little slow to accept what he can't understand. He acknowledges there was a problem, Dean solved it but he wouldn't connect Mrs. Simpkins to anything evil or wrong nor would he ever believe for a moment, unless it was pointed out to him, she would mean Dean harm by telling three people looking for him where to find him." Suzie was looking at Dean. "You ok?"
"In all the time they were here, asking questions, did they ever ask about me?" Sam's attention was on Suzie, not Dean.
No." Suzie said, giving him an odd look then returning her attention to Dean. Sam had ended up giving Dean pain meds over the last couple days. Dean hadn't asked for them but neither had he refused them when Sam offered them.
Looking at him now, she had to admit, Sam hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said Dean didn't take well to antibiotics and mixing them with pain meds was not a good idea.
"And still you come here." he railed at Dean. Anger beginning to build, he failed to notice what Suzie was seeing. "Alone." he paused. "Without me, without Bobby…without letting us know…."
"Sam, if they knew who I was, then they knew about you." he licked at his lips. The feeling of all over warmth was overwhelming and not subsiding. Fucking antibiotics and Sam's stubborn insistence that he take them.
"Yeah, and since they didn't ask where I was, they must assume I'm still dead. Question is, how would they even know that?"
"Hum, still dead?" Suzie repeated. "As in, you were, you know, dead and buried, and now you aren't? That kind of dead?"
"You sure you didn't know them?" Sam ignored her, so focused on his desire and need to get answers he didn't realize Dean was fading. "Recognize them? They didn't say or ask anything that gave them away?"
"No." he wiped his face on his shirt sleeve, letting his forehead rest in the crook of his arm. "They, uh, knew you were alive."
"Were they hunters?"
"I don't think so." he muffled out weakly. Pain meds were ok as long as they weren't taken with antibiotics.
"Dammit Dean, how many people know who you are but don't know about me? Know I'm alive anyway. Damn few, I'd say."
"Maybe, depends." Dean hedged, bringing his head up.
"Then why would they want you? What did they want from you? They had you for three hours, they tried to get you to tell them something…..I get that Suzie didn't want you in county lock up because she felt Mrs. Simpkins would give you up and allow those men at you, well, guess what, it happened anyway…..ok, so yeah, least out on their turf, you had the opportunity to get away from them, had you been in a cell, well…guessing they would have sprung you from there, but none of this makes any sense."
"Sam, you need to let this go…" he said tiredly. "At least, for now."
"So you're ok with three men hunting you down, having followed your trail and you wouldn't know that if Suzie hadn't called you. Course, never thought you'd be so stupid to come here on your own, but whatever. All I'm getting here is you don't care what they did to you!"
"Yeah Sam, I care, but despite what you think, I'm not stupid, neither of us is fit to go after them. You lost it with me, I don't dare let you go after them alone and I can't help you, not yet. Yeah, maybe you can live with the guilt of me coming after you with these hands but I can't handle watching you do it."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Means we need to just let it go until you have your head on straight and my hands have healed. We can go to Bobby's and do research. I know what they look like, we can start there, maybe they are hunters, or one of them is, maybe Bobby will recognize them. We can go back over….."
"I never intended for you to come after me, big boy here Dean!"
"You know damn well I would."
"I don't need you to hold my hand…"
"Yeah, I didn't ask you to hold mine and look where the hell we are! I…..dammit Sam, you're not….you're not well! You're irrational and angry and out of control. Sam, come on, you know I can't let you go after them by yourself."
"You going after them with me or after me if I leave you behind is stupid. You're risking permanent damage to your hands Dean."
"Sam…..give me time, that's all I'm asking for. I'm not telling you we won't go after them or that I won't let you, I'm just saying you need to be…in control and I need my hands, that's all."
"I'm in control."
"Oh, like hell you are!" Dean flared then groaned when his head protested the spurt of energy. "Admit it, you know you lost it, yeah, I'm hale and hearty but this…" his thrust his hands in Sam's direction. "Blew you up, you can't do that to someone else. You would never hurt me, never, but you won't be able to control yourself with someone else."
"Sam." Suzie shook her head. "He's had enough."
"Fine." hands braced against the counter, back to Dean, he lowered his head as he surrendered. He would put his brother first, would listen to him for now. "I'll let it go - for now - if you tell me what they wanted. You tell me that and I'll take you and we'll go wherever you want."
"Not good enough."
"Dean…I can't do this, I can't. Not being able to reach you, finding out you left me, having to follow you by GPS, tracking your trail in this town, interacting with these screwball citizens, knowing someone took you, not being here to help, seeing what they did to you, putting you through what I did, everyone was so happy to tell me what they thought about you, told me to bring you back around, said they wished you'd stayed…"
"Let it go." Dean said quietly. "Please? Sammy, come on, let it go."
"Tell me what they wanted."
Dean accepted a glass of water from Suzie. His hand shook when he reached for the glass and she frowned. He shrugged, giving her a tired smirk.
"You need to hold it together." Dean sighed. "I don't know who they are. If they're hunters, I don't know them, Bobby might. They knew where you'd been, knew you were back but didn't appear to know you hadn't come back as you. They thought we were hunting separately, that you were still with Samuel."
"They told you this?"
"I ain't deaf Sam"
"They talked freely in front of you? Yeah, right."
"People tend to do that when they think someone has passed out from pain."
"They thought you unconscious?" he drew himself up, ready to explode once again.
"Not the point here Sam. They've been looking for me….."
"And you just deliver yourself to them."
Dean shot him an icy glare that failed miserably, what with his puffy eyes and flushed cheeks and sweat soaked hair.
"Anyway, they thought me alone and Bobby too far away to be a threat, though they did think he would come after me once he found me missing."
"They thought right." Sam managed to focus. "What do they want?"
Dean studied his brother. Tried to judge his state of mind and determine just how much of the truth he could handle hearing and what he would do upon hearing it and not be able to do anything about it.
"Jesus….Dean? What?" Sam knew his brother knew more than he was saying, knew him well enough to read his face and know he was trying to make a decision. "Tell me."
Dean squirmed. "AAh-um, look, I need you to do something for me. Promise me, I need you to promise me, you will listen to me and try to chill, ok?"
"WHAT-DO-THEY-WANT?" Sam yelled, causing Suzie to flinch but Dean stared him down. "I told you I would let it go – for now - if you would just tell me what they were after!"
"You." Dean sighed. "Ok, you! They were after you."
"ME? What the fuck….?"
Dean held a hand up, signaling for a moment. "Hold it together Sam, they've been looking for me to try to get to you. Apparently your alter-self did something. I don't know what, they wouldn't say, but you have something they want."
"I have something…..? From when? Jesus Dean, I don't remember what I did that year! What little bit has come back in flashes of memory scares the shit outta me! Hell, I cudda done anything!"
"I know, and anyone we could have gone to for answers are no longer with us." Dean nodded. "They thought they could get to you through me."
"How?"
"We'll find out."
Sam turned to stare out the window, struggling to get a grip on the reality that was here and now. He'd either done something or had something that his brother had suffered for. He couldn't remember everything he'd done the year he'd been without his soul, without Dean, and he'd probably never know all the sins and atrocities he'd committed.
Now, he and Dean would have to find the time to confront these men, find out what they wanted, retrace his steps, discover what he'd done and find a solution. Another fine mess he'd created that Dean would clean up.
Sam nodded. "Fine." he pushed away from the counter and rounded the table where he grabbed his brother by the elbow and hauled him out of the chair. "We'll do this your way." he'd put his brother through enough shit and ending the world once was enough, he wasn't going to make the mistake of disregarding Dean's instincts a second time.
"HEY!" Dean protested, unable to stop himself from being manhandled, he fell over the chair. "OW! Ow, ouch, what are you…aarrgh."
"You're going back to bed, soon as your off the antibiotics, we're going to Bobby's to figure this whole mess out." he gave Dean a moment to gain his balance. "Next time someone finds you, they damn well better keep you until I get there to retrieve your ass." he flicked his fingers against his brother's ear. "And, oh yeah, we're gonna have a talk once you're up to it about you taking off on your own."
"Something tells me not many words are gonna be spoken." Dean rubbed his abused ear and stumbled, catching himself by falling against Sam for support. He braced himself expecting to be hip-bumped away. "Sammy runs away and oh, ok, but lemme do it and Sammy has a hard-on about being ditched, something not right about that." he mumbled, accepting the one-armed hug from Sam. "Not fair."
"What are you saying?"
"Nuthin'."
"Do we agree Dean?"
"Yeah." Dean nodded, rubbing his forehead along Sam's sleeve. "Sure."
"Dude, are you like, wiping your sweat on my shirt?" more like nuzzling but Sam wasn't going to call him on it.
"What? No." he crawled onto the bed and laid down, pulling the blankets up to his shoulder. "So, you found me, you gonna keep me?"
Sam ran a hand through his hair. It was times like this when he felt the universe was out to get him. They were cursed, nothing ever went their way, they never had a run of good luck, and there was never happiness at the end of their quest.
He looked down as Dean rubbed wearily at his eyes. Okay, maybe 'never' was a little harsh. Yeah, trouble always seemed to find them and they had more pain and discomfort and anguish than any mere human should have to deal with, yet….they still had each other, despite lies, cheating, manipulation, loss and death, despite everything, the trust between them wasn't broken. It'd been stretched, twisted, melted and bent but remained intact. No one and nothing had ever been able to completely sever it.
It was just...there were times, that maybe, just maybe, someone, somewhere was doing whatever they could to help the brothers along. Giving them aid: when he'd needed to chase after Dean and had walked out of his motel room to find an unattended car with the keys in the ignition, just waiting to be stolen, the times a doctor was able to supply them with medical supplies or a police officer turned a blind eye to their activities or Dean won big hustling pool, or like now, when they'd found safety and comfort with Suzie; little things like that led him to believe perhaps they weren't as alone as they thought.
Shaking his head, he came out of his musings to find that Dean had fallen asleep. He was pale and flushed and sweating but he was quiet and sleeping on his own. Sam knew that Dean willingly going to sleep meant he had faith and trust in Sam to keep his word and he would. Come morning he'd check his wrists and figured in another day or so, they could leave.
"I'll always find you and I'll always keep you." Sam whispered to his sleeping sibling. "No need for you to worry about that."
***END***
Pfft! For anyone who cares, yes, I will continue this plot/theme in the next story. Kinda wanted to wrap it up as the chapters were getting numerous and I haven't had a lot of free time lately to update weekly. One of the ladies at work has been out with pneumonia and I've been working full-time until she returns, which means, work has gotten into the way of my leisure time.