It had been a few days since then, and Shiro was still upset. It had resulted in Shiro sulking in their room most of the time, only coming out to use the bathroom and eat. Ichigo was in there allot with him. Shiro still had the nest of pillows and blankets piled on the bed, using it to cuddle with the orangette more than anything. At the moment, Shiro and Ichigo were curled up in the nest. Shiro was silent, nuzzling Ichigo lovingly though. "...Shi, I have to get up and get Yuki... I haven't spent much time with him lately.." Ichigo sighed, inwardly groaning when the other's grip tightened. It wasn't that he didn't want to cuddle with the demon, he just wanted to spend time with his baby was all. Shiro looked at Ichigo. He kissed him gently. "Go ahead" he sighed, releasing him. Ichigo smiled a little. "Thanks.." He murmured, before crawling out of the pile and getting up before walking out of the room and into the living room. Yuki was in Grimmjow's lap as he giggled at some little kid show, a song about brushing your teeth playing on the TV. "Hi Grimm." He called softly, walking over and sitting down next to him.

"Hey" Grimmjow replied, glancing at him.

"Can I see Yuki?" The orangette asked as he stared at the little boy in Grimmjow's lap. Shiro had been trying to distance himself from the little boy and Ichigo hated it. It hurt him that Shiro thought that his own son didn't like him.

Grimmjow nodded, handing over Yuki to Ichigo. "Any success in dragging Shiro out of your guys' room yet?" he asked.

Ichigo sighed and shook his head. "He still thinks that Yuki hates him..." He murmured, holding the little boy close. Yuki giggled and closed his eyes, nuzzling his mother's chest. The orangette sighed again and set his head atop Yuki's.

"He is still an idiot I guess" Grimmjow sighed. "Bet he would come running if you screamed" Grimmjow added with a smirk.

"Grimm, I don't think he would... wait, what?" Ichigo asked, looking over at him with wide eyes before frowning a little when he felt Yuki's forehead on his shoulder. he pulled the boy up a little before putting a hand lightly against his forehead. "Grimm, I think he has a fever.." He said.

"I will go get some medicine and tell Shiro" Grimmjow replied, getting up.
Ichigo sighed and nodded, holding Yuki close as he curled up on the couch.

Less than a moment later, Shiro came in, laying down with Ichigo, kissing his mate's and his child's foreheads. Grimmjow came back a moment later than that with medicine. Ichigo chuckled a little. "You decided to come out?" He asked, peaking up at Shiro. Yuki shifted in his arms before starting to suck on his thumb. "He's sick…and…even if he hates me I love him" Shiro sighed, petting Yuki's head.

"He doesn't hate you." Ichigo said, scowling a little. Shiro didn't answer, just stare at Yuki with emotionless eyes. After a moment, Ichigo sighed and pulled Shiro down for a soft kiss, hoping to spark some emotion back into the demon. Shiro kissed back but didn't show any emotion past a bit of passionate for his mate. Ichigo scowled a little and pulled away from the kiss. "...If you keep acting like this, I'm going to have to slap you." He stated, looking a little hurt but otherwise held his scowl.

"Then slap me" Shiro sighed.

Ichigo's eyes watered a little. He hated this. Why did things always have to go wrong? "Shi..." He nearly whispered before pushing the other off and away from him. He couldn't do it. No matter how much he wanted to at that moment, he couldn't slap the demon like he had done nearly two years ago. Shiro sat on the floor, eyes glued to the floor. He wanted to say something, explain what was wrong. But he didn't know either. He loved Ichigo and Yuki. But something was nagging at his chest. He couldn't figure it out though. Maybe it was the fact he left and then just squeezed back in with Ichigo. Maybe it was Grimmjow. Maybe it was Yuki. Maybe it was what he had done in the 1 ½ he was away from Ichigo.

Ichigo curled up into a ball on the couch, hugging Yuki to his chest tightly as he screwed his eyes shut, a few of the unwanted tears falling down his cheeks anyways. What had changed? Was he not all that Shiro wanted? Was he not good enough anymore? It felt like the demon didn't love him anymore and it hurt him badly. Even when Shiro had left he still had believed that the demon still loved him, wanted to be with him. His own love for the demon had blinded him, it seemed. It had made him have hope that the demon would come back to them and it'd be like a picture perfect world. Now, all he felt was pain.

The little boy on his chest squirmed a little, but otherwise didn't move or make a sound. Instead, he nuzzled the orangette's chest before looking up at him with watery, gold on black eyes. Grimmjow stood there silently, watching this pain build, thinning the air. Shiro stood awkwardly, glancing at Grimmjow. Then he started to walk away. It was better if he left for good this time, let Ichigo and Yuki go back to what they needed. Grimmjow. The blue haired male knew what he was doing. Shiro was cut off for parenthood. He could barely take care of his mate. "Shiro..." Ichigo managed to croak out. He was looking at Shiro from his position on the couch. "D-don't leave... not again..." He whispered, his eyes starting to water again. He knew he was being selfish, but he didn't think that he could take the other leaving again. It hurt too much the first time, and he didn't know if he could take a second time. He felt like a failure. His mate, his love, was going to leave him a second time, because he had failed. He failed, as a mate, and as a mother, it felt like.

"You are better off without me…I have messed up time and time again…you always still love me…I got you kicked out of your family, rejected by your friends, locked in a painting for all those years and yet you still had the heart to love me…I make mistake after mistake, you love me...I put you through Hell, you love me…WHY! Why will you love me no matter what I do? Why can't you find someone who will do the right thing? Who will say the right thing? Who will love you more than I can? Someone who will be the father to Yuki that I can't be?" Shiro asked. Then he turned to Ichigo. "Why can you find someone who will be with you for longer than I can be" Shiro whispered, his eyes watering.

"Shi... I can't not love you.. You're my mate... my soul-mate... my love..." Ichigo whispered back, before closing his eyes tightly again. What he said was true. No matter what Shiro did, no matter how many mistakes he made, he still loved him, and always will. "Shiro... Please... Don't leave again... I can't take a second time!" He said, his voice rising a little.

The orangette's body was trembling now, a few more tears falling down his cheeks. Yuki looked like he was about to cry too. "Ichigo…I can't stay…what comes next would only hurt you more, it might kill you inside…there are things in life that you don't need to know, things you can't know" Shiro answered.

"Just tell him straight…do you love him or not?" Grimmjow snarled, sitting on the couch, arm wrapping around Ichigo's shoulder.

Shiro's eyes flashed with something that was a mix of horror, regret, misery, and something either of the two had seen since Grimmjow had almost had sex with Ichigo the day they came here, possessiveness. Ichigo unconsciously leaned into Grimmjow, a whimper leaving his lips when the other pulled him closer. Everything hurt. His heart, his mind, his body, everything. It was just too much. Shiro closed his eyes and reopened them. They were clear now. "I love Ichigo more than I have ever loved anyone or anything…if I had to redo my life I would have gone and found him the moment he was born. I would have protect him from all dangers…but I can't redo life…I can't fix my mistakes…I can't fix what's broken…I just can't do it…things are simpler, easier if I go. If you don't know where I am or what happens to me…you have Yuki…Grimmjow…Gin…Pantera…you have a new family Ichi…I'm sorry but this is the last time we will meet…I love you but you must move on…" Shiro explained, his eyes watering slightly. Then he turned and ran, ran as far as he could go. "Not again... no..." Ichigo croaked, tears streaming down his face. He started to freely sob into his hands. Grimmjow held Ichigo closer, pulling him onto his lap. He shushed and comforted the male in his arms. "N-no... he can't... He's not..." Ichigo started repeating, Yuki nearly falling out of his grasp. The little boy was crying now, though it was quiet. "Ichigo it will be okay…" Grimmjow murmured over and over.

The chapter is kinda short but...well this is a good point to stop for now...yes me and IS are evil...but when we started this it wasn't suppose to be like this at all. It just sorta turned into this cuz we are both suckers for an angst kinda thing...and yes Shiro is very upset with us...he hates us cuz we tend to do more GrimmIchi than anything ^^; Sorry Shiro! Anyway REVIEW and I will update soon...and I think we have 3 or 4 chapters left...but I don't know, I will check

IS: Ichigo/Yuki

Me: Grimmjow/Shiro

REVIEW NOW!