Author's Note: Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. I'm not sure why but this is getting harder for me to write. I'm working harder to be inspired but I promise to finish.
Steve was watching Jack sleep in Catherine's arms. Even after a week, he never got tired of the sight.
"McGarrett," Governor Denning nodded in greeting as he walked by, "I'm on my way to the daily briefing with Pearl. The Admiral and I were hoping you would sit in today."
The military had been able to establish a satellite link to allow communication with government bunker. The Governor received an update on the situation on Oahu each day. He had been inviting Steve to be part of the briefing every day.
And just like every day before, Steve shook his head and declined, "Thank you for asking, sir, but I'll stay here with my family."
Denning gave him a strange look as he walked away, but Steve had already turned his attention back to Catherine and Jack.
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Danny was already seated in the conference room when Denning walked in. He was disappointed but not surprised to see that the Governor was alone.
"Steve wasn't interested?" Danny guessed.
Denning glanced at the clock to confirm that they had a few minutes before anyone else arrived.
"I know that Admiral Hanson has also tried to reach out Steve, with the same level of success that we've had," Denning shook his head regretfully, "McGarrett just has no interest in engaging. He's not the same man who left here. He doesn't care anymore."
"That's not true," Danny protested, "He let you appoint him head of security here. He's working really hard to keep us safe."
"You're right," Denning conceded, "He just doesn't care about anything outside of this bunker. It's like he's written off the rest of the world."
Danny couldn't argue the truth of that observation. It was like the man who had once fearlessly rushed into anything – back-up be damned – was suddenly the most cautious person Danny knew. Steve had told him a little about the things he had seen on Asia and then about his escape from the mainland. Danny could tell that the experience had affected his friend profoundly. He didn't know if Steve would ever be himself again.
He was saved from having to give an answer by the arrival of several other men and women. They were the remains of the Hawaiian State Legislature, and there were distressingly few of them. The bunker had been built for 300 people (living in tight quarters) but was currently sheltering barely 200, many of them survivors who had found them by luck and circumstance. Most of the intended VIP's had never arrived.
At the far end of the room, the large screen suddenly came to life, showing a cluster of military officers. Danny took a quick second to be grateful for the solar panels and abundant sunlight that kept the electricity on.
"Admiral Hanson, General Zimmer, good afternoon gentlemen," Denning greeted them. The men nodded in return.
As he did every day, General Zimmer provided the most recent up-dates on military activity, "There is some evidence of a large group of civilians sheltering in the wilderness of Haleakala National Park on Maui. Attempts to reach them have thus far failed. Colonel Miller reported that three more of his marines were infected in the most recent sortie into the park. One man made it back onto the base before his condition was discovered. The incident was successfully contained."
Hanson looked grim as he took over the briefing, "In light of recent loses in personnel and diminishing ammunition supplies, as well as diminishing fuel for our helicopters and ships, we have decided to suspend all off base activities."
"Has there been any word from the mainland?" one of the Senators asked.
Hanson shook his head, "They have no supplies or reinforcements to send at this time, and no way of sending them even if they were available. We don't know when that will change."
Not anytime soon, Danny thought. Based on what Steve had told him about conditions on the mainland, they were on their own.
The briefing ended and everyone quickly dispersed, not having any reason to stay and discuss these depressing new developments.
"Williams, can I have a word," Denning gestured for Danny to remain seated.
Something in Denning's expression set Danny on edge, "What can I do for you?" he asked cautiously.
"This morning I had a private video conference with Admiral Hanson and Dr Sato. Are you familiar with the doctor?"
Danny nodded. Sato was a Japanese doctor specializing in some kind of medical research. Danny didn't know all the details. He did know that Sato had been visiting family in Hawaii and had been unable to return home when the outbreaks began. When Steve had left Pearl to come find them, Max had remained on base to work with the older man.
"Sato is working on a gas that he predicts will have the ability to destroy the zombies' nervous systems."
"That's wonderful news. Why are you keeping this a secret?" Danny wanted to know, "People need hope."
Denning sighed, "Well hope would be premature right now. The gas is only a theory. Sato has not been able to produce any for testing. To do so, he needs Fentanyl."
"And that's not something they have on base," Danny sighed.
"No," Denning seemed to be considering his next words carefully, "There should be a large supply of Fentanyl available at Queen's Medical Center. One of the labs there was doing research that required it. Sato toured it during his visit."
Danny considered the situation, "I'll be dangerous as hell but at least they know where to look. When is Hanson sending in a team?"
"He's not."
"What! Why wouldn't he? He has to try," Danny protested.
"He doesn't feel the science is strong enough to support the risk," Denning paused, "Can you think of anyone who would be willing to take that risk?"
Suddenly Danny understood why they were having this conversation. Denning wanted Steve and Five-0 to raid the hospital. He weighed the possibilities.
"I don't know if Steve will do it," he finally admitted, "And I don't think we have much of a chance without him."
"Talk to him – talk to the whole team – let me know," Denning left Danny sitting alone in the conference room.
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A few hours later, Steve, Kono, Chin, Catherine, and Gabby listened to Danny lay out the situation over dinner. They were eating in a small conference room to assure privacy.
When Danny had finished speaking, Steve shook his head, "Hanson is right. It's too dangerous. We'd have to fight our way through the zombies to reach Queen's. Then we'd have to fight our way through the hospital to the basement. Assuming that the Fentanyl is even still there and that it hasn't been looted or destroyed by a fire, we'd still have to fight our way back out. We'd never make it."
Everyone was silent for a moment, studying Steve with different measures of surprise, anger, relief, and concern.
"How can you just dismiss the whole idea like that?" Chin demanded, "This is our best chance to do something."
"No its not," Steve's voice made it clear he did not consider this a subject for debate, "I've been in buildings over-run by these things. I've fought them hand-to-hand. I've seen men torn to shreds." Steve paused before continuing in a more measured tone, "We just have to wait. They do decay. Eventually, they'll all be gone."
"How long will that take?" Kono wanted to know, "Do we just sit here, hidden away, for years?"
Steve looked at her, surprised, "Do you really want to be part of this assignment, Kono? You saw what a small group of them did to Ben. What do think a swarm of a thousand can do? How much more are you willing to lose?"
Kono sprang to her feet, eyes flashing. For a second, Danny thought she was going to leap across the table at Steve. Instead, she spun and headed for the exit. At the door, she turned back with tears in her eyes, "There is no one here I would be willing to lose. And I didn't say we should go. I just feel like we need to do something." Then she was gone.
"How could you say that to her?" Chin asked, disgusted, "She watched me shoot Ben."
"And I abandoned my baby sister," Steve shot back, "I put a bullet between Lori's eyes."
The two men stared at each other across the table. It was Chin who looked away first.
"I'm going to check on Kono," he left without a backward glance.
Steve surveyed the three people still at the table. Gabby looked scared, Catherine concerned, and Danny had a look Steve was all too familiar with.
"Go ahead, Danny," he invited, "Tell me how badly I'm failing at mammal to mammal interaction."
Danny shook his head slowly, "I'm not saying that you're wrong, but it just doesn't feel like you're right either. Mostly it feels like we aren't us anymore." He stood up, gesturing for Gabby to do the same, "Let's go check on Grace and Madison."
Steve buried his head in his hands, not looking up when Catherine moved to stand behind him, hands gently rubbing his shoulders.
"They're not attacking you," she told him gently.
"Do you think that I was wrong?" Steve asked her.
Catherine laughed softly but there was no humor in it, "Of course I don't think you should go. I only just got you back. Let someone without a baby and a wife go." She leaned down and wrapped her arms tightly around him from behind, resting her check next to his, "But I am surprised that you aren't considering it."
Catherine kissed his cheek softly before straightening up, "I'm going to go get Jack from the nursery."
Left alone in the small room, Steve stood and methodically began to clean up the remains of dinner.
He didn't have the words to tell them about how hard he had fought to get back to them. He couldn't describe the pain of deciding to abandon Mary. He had told them about Lori, but none of them knew how it had felt to pull the trigger. It was like there was an invisible wall between him and everyone he loved.
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The next afternoon, Danny was on his way to a review of the bunker's security when Chin took him by the arm and steered him into a supply closet.
"Hey, we're going to be late," Danny protested, surprised.
"We're leaving for the hospital at 8:00 tomorrow morning," Chin was staring at Danny with an intensity that made him uncomfortable.
"Steve changed his mind?" Danny was surprised. He hadn't seen Steve since dinner but his friend hadn't seemed willing to be convinced. When Chin continued to stare, Danny suddenly understood what was happening, "Steve didn't change his mind. You're going behind his back."
Chin turned away, suddenly unable to look Danny in the eye. "This has nothing to with Steve. He declined to be part of the raid. Denning and I have everything worked out. I'm taking a team that will be made up of Kono and 3 members of the Governor's security force," Chin paused, "I'm hoping that you'll be part of the team, too."
Danny was stunned, "You set all this up this morning, without telling Steve? Isn't this mutiny?"
Chin's eyes hardened, "I'll take that as a no." He turned to leave, "We're late for the briefing." Then he was gone.
Danny was left alone, feeling like he had just entered some bizzarro alternate universe. Steve had been so brittle since he returned; focusing furiously on their internal security and refusing to even discuss the outside world. It scared Danny to admit that he had no idea how Steve would react to Chin's plan.
Hurrying down the hall to the conference room, Danny arrived to find Steve and Denning both on their feet, squaring off across the table. Chin was standing behind Denning, his face set in an expressionless mask. Kono was seated at the table with her shoulders slumped. Several men were gathered in the back of the room.
"I guess he told you about Chin's plan," Danny observed.
Steve's laser glare swung towards him, "Are you part of this too, Danny?"
"Of course not," Danny was indignant, "If I thought this was good idea, I would have said it to your face."
Steve nodded sharply before turning his attention to Kono, "What about you? How can you be part of this?"
Kono's eyes filled with tears. She looked at Steve pleadingly but didn't say anything.
Chin stepped up behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, "Leave her alone. Kono understands that this is an opportunity we can't pass up."
"Then why did the military pass it up?" Steve shot back, "They have better equipment and more training."
"That's enough, McGarrett," the Governor snapped, "Kelly has bravely agreed to lead this team. The decision is made. You're in charge of the security within this bunker. Kelly's mission is outside of your command."
Steve ignored him and continued to press Chin, "What are you really doing? Are you looking for the Fentanyl? Or are you looking for Malia?"
"What are you accusing me of?" Chin demanded. "We need this drug. This is our chance to end this nightmare."
"And it just happens to let you go to Queen's? That's convenient," Steve's tone implied just what he thought of Chin's motivation. "I think that the men you're leading in there deserve to know that this is actually a wild goose chase for your dead wife."
"That's enough!" Denning stepped between Steve and the men shifting nervously at the end of the room," Commander McGarrett, you've made your opinion clear. The rest of us disagree with you. Kelly, prep your team for tomorrow morning."
"Kono, don't do this," Steve pleaded softly as she walked past.
She paused next to him, "I have to help Chin. It's what I owe him." She smiled sadly at Steve and Danny as she left.
When the two men were alone in the room, Danny took Steve gently by the arm, "Come on, we have work to do here. After all, there are still a couple hundred thousand walking corpses out there that would like to be in here."
"I'm not going to lose sight of that, "Steve reassured him, "I can control what happens in here. I can keep the people in here safe. I can't protect them once they go outside."
It was just a hint of vulnerability, but it was the first time Steve had let his guard down even a little since he had been back. Danny understood how hard that was for his friend.
"They'll be okay," Danny could feel the falseness of his own smile.
Steve raised an eyebrow, silently calling Danny on his bullshit.
Danny nodded, "Okay, I don't know if they'll be alright. They've made their own choices. That's on them, not on you."
"You're right," Steve headed for the door, his moment of introspection over, "Come on, Danny. There's work to do here.
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The next morning, Steve and Danny kept themselves intentionally busy. They were inventorying ammunition by 7:30.
"Should we see them off?" Danny asked, "Maybe try and talk Kono out of going. I really don't think she wants to go with them."
"You can do whatever you want, Danny," Steve didn't look from the crate he was sorting through.
"It's just that I don't think Kono's heart is really in this. I think she might change her mind." Danny gestured towards the door, "You should try. You've always been a kind of crazy ninja idol to the girl. I think she might listen to you."
Steve sighed, "I tried talking to her last night. You're right about her not wanting to go, but she feels a responsibility for Chin. I couldn't change her mind."
"Then we have to do something," Danny decided. "We can't let her go. We'll have to convince Chin to call it off."
"Good luck with that," Steve's voice was filled with defeat.
"You tried that, didn't you?" Danny guessed.
Steve nodded, "I even tried to convince the Governor not to let them go. Chin won't listen. Denning won't listen. We can't stop them."
Steve went back to counting bullets. Danny watched him for a moment, reflecting once again on the differences between the dare devil warrior who had left them and the cautious worrier who had returned.
The rest of the morning passed quickly. A pair of ragged survivors reached the entrance to the bunker, pursued by a group of a dozen zombies. Danny had to admit that he was still impressed by Steve's crazy good aim. The survivors turned out to be a pair of college students, a girl and her boyfriend. They had been on the run for several weeks, reaching the bunker only through random luck.
Heartbreakingly, the boy turned out to have been bitten. He had concealed it from his girlfriend, trying to find her a safe place before it was too late.
Danny pulled Steve aside and leaned in to speak quietly, "I'll take care of this one. You take the girl inside."
Steve shook his head, "No, I'll do it. It's my command. I'll sit with him for a little while until he loses consciousness."
Danny felt guilty as he turned away, a little ashamed that he was leaving this job to Steve, but as he helped the sobbing girl to her feet, Danny realized that maybe he wasn't getting off so easy after all.
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Steve sat on the ground and studied the boy leaning up against the rock wall of the bunker's exterior. He was flushed with fever and his dark hair was plastered to his head by sweat. His breathing was becoming labored. It wouldn't be long now. Steve tried to remember his name but came up blank. It would be easier not to know anyway.
"Is that for me?" the boy asked, gesturing towards the gun gripped loosely in Steve's right hand.
"There may still be more of them out here. We may have missed one. It doesn't hurt to be ready," Steve lied.
The boy let him get away with it. Time was running out and there were more important things he wanted to talk about, "Nicki will be safe in there, right?"
Steve nodded.
The boy sighed, "That's good. My dad's a pilot at Hickman. I could have gone to the base but I had to find Nicki."
"That was incredibly brave," Steve told him, "You kept her safe. Most people wouldn't have done what you did."
"I love her. People don't give up on the people you love," his breathing was becoming more labored, "If you get the chance, will you tell my Dad what happened to me? Nicki can tell you his name."
"Of course," Steve promised, "We have a satellite uplink to the base. I can make sure he knows."
"That's good. I think it's better than not knowing," the boy's words trailed off and Steve realized that he had lost consciousness.
Steve silently saluted the young man's courage and optimism. Then, as the boy let out a last shuddering breath, Steve raised his gun.
Walking back through the heavy steel door, Steve turned towards the guards in the entrance chamber, "We'll buy him tomorrow, after the virus has died off."
The guards nodded back. It was a well known fact that dead bodies were still contagious for 24 hours. No one wanted to go near the boy anytime sooner.
Another guard appeared from deeper in the bunker, "Commander McGarrett, the Governor requests that you come to the main conference room right away."
Steve waved his acknowledgement as he hurried past the man.
In the conference room, Steve found Denning, Danny, and several members of the Governor's staff all gathered around some radio equipment.
"We've lost contact with Chin and his team," Danny told him without preamble, "Their last transmission said that they were in the basement near the morgue, which is the wrong part of the hospital, and they were being forced to take shelter from a large group of zombies."
End Note: I picked Fentanyl randomly. I have no medical background and very little medical knowledge.