Greeting and salutations people! Haku1013 here with another one-shot! And I must say, this took me a while to get going, but all in all, I'm damn proud of it. Ok, this was a request from someone all IZ writers know and love. That's right; this is for you Invader Jrek! You're the best anonymous person out there, and we love for that. Now before any of you start yelling out "But we thought you said no Anonymous!" Well, this is from before this Multi-Chapter was even thought about. So Boo on you!
Zim chuckled as he worked in his labs. He had a plan, a MAGNIFICENT plan! A plan that the Dib-Beast would never stop with his big headed-ness. He screwed in a screw, hammered in a nail, zapped the machine with a random laser, and looked at his creation. Picking it up, he smiled evilly to himself. It was a masterpiece in Zim's opinion, like everything he created.
Setting it back down on the table, he looked to a nearby clock, "Hmmm" Zim hmmed, "still a few hours until Skool… Excellent,"Zim said with a chuckle. Pulling a microphone out of his PAK, he called out, "Gir! Come to your master that is ZIM!"
Out of the ceiling came out a pipe, and out of that pipe plopped out Gir, hitting the floor face first while being still. "Gir!" Zim called to his minion, "remember with your brains! Now stand up." He commanded. Immediately, Gir jumped up, eyes red, "Yes sir," he said while saluting.
Zim looked to Gir with a confused look. "Gir, where is Minimoose?" Zim asked. Gir proceeded to stare at him with an idiotic face, "I don't know," he said. As if on cue, another pipe came out of the ceiling, striking Zim and knocking him onto the ground, and out floated Minimoose. Picking himself up, Zim looked to his other minion. "Minimoose, where on Irk have you been?" Zim asked.
"Squeak," Minimoose Squeaked.
"Really? The Princess and the Queen? And at the same time?" Zim asked, scratching head in thought, "Sounds like an adventure, but now is not the time for fun and merriment!" Zim screamed to the floating moose, which looked down and let out a squeak of disappointment.
"Now then," Zim announced, "Today, I have begun my new plan," he explained to his minions, Gir playing with a small toy piggy, "All plans before this plan were all warm ups compared to this plan, for it is this plan that shall aid me in conquering this pitiful planet of filth."
"Finally, the Tallests shall see the genius that is Zim and give me what is rightfully belongs to Zim!" Zim said as he began laughing, Minimoose floating there with a smile, Gir still playing with his piggy, pretending it was a plane of some sort.
Aboard The Massive
Tallest Red and Tallest Purple watched as a small drone pulled in a large box. "My lords," the drone said, "It seems that Invader Tenn, assigned Planet Meekrob, has sent you a package."
"Yes, we can see that," Red said matter-of-factly, his purple counterpart smiled a goofy smile. "Maybe it's candy!" he yelled out, "Or maybe a rug made out Meekrobian skin," he said with a voice full of glee. Red just stared at him, obviously not amused with his childish demeanor.
Pushing Purple aside, he opened the box and saw… he didn't know what he was looking at. It looked like a pile of sleeping Sir Units, but why would Tenn send the Tallest Sir Un… 'Uh oh' thought Red. Seeing a pair of red eyes suddenly open up, he quickly shut the box closed before he could have his face eaten.
"What is it?" Asked Purple.
Red backed up slowly, "Nothing, but we might want to get out of here," he said softly. Purple stared at is co-ruler, "Why?"
Not a second after he said that, several Sir Units popped out of the box in a frenzy, some attacking the drone that was still present, and was now screaming in pain as he had his face eaten by a sir.
Now it was purple who was screaming as he was chased by a Sir with a buzzsaw coming out of his head. Red, who was hiding under a table, saw a note. Quickly grabbing it, he read:
Dear My Tallests,
I have finally collected all the 'wonderful' gifts you sent me. Sorry, but I cannot keep them, so I am sending them back to you. Oh yes, and also, I quit.
Yours truly,
Ex-Invader Tenn.
P.S. Long Live the Resisty!
Jaw dropping, Red stared at the chaos in the room. Purple, no longer running, tried fighting back the Buzzsaw Sir with a random broom he apparently found, stabbing the air around it. "Back! Back you beast!" he yelled. Red would have found this amusing if not for the fact that he might die in few moments if he's found. Thinking quickly, he pressed a button on his arm, "Guards! Come quick!" He screamed. In seconds, several guards rushed into the room, quickly dispatching the crazed Sir Units.
Slowly crawling out of the cover of his table, Red surveyed the damage. Nearly everything was either broken, or shattered.
Purple was standing proud, holding his MIGHTY BROOM OF DOOM close, a dead Sir Unit with several dents in it a few feet away.
Regaining his composer, Red called over a Guard. "Yes, My Tallest?" The guard asked, waiting for his next orders. Red thought for a moment, wondering what to do now, quickly coming up with a plan, "Captain, I wish to have these Sir Units reactivated," The Tallest told the guard, who had a confused look on his face. "I'm sorry my Tallest, but did you say to reactivate the Sirs?"
Hearing this, Purple turned to the duo, "Wait," he started, "What is this about reactivating the things that almost killed us?" he asked calmly, still clutching his MIGHTY BROOM OF DOOM. Red chuckled to himself, thinking over his plan, all the while ignoring both the guards and Purples question.
Coming back to reality, Red turned to Purple, "Well Pur, if we can get the Sir reactivated, then we can send them to," Red paused, thinking of the correct words, "send them to a certain Invader."
Purple, obviously not understanding, stood there with a plain face, causing Red to sigh in disbelief. Turning to the guard, he, thankfully, saw him with a small smile on his. The guard seemed to have caught on. In seconds, Red's smile went from a smile, to chuckling, which in turn became laughing.
The guard decided to become involved, and soon began laughing with his leader, Purple still standing there. "Why are you guys laughing?" he asked, "What's so funny?"
Red paused with his maniacal laugh and stared at his co-ruler, who was the promptly slapped. "Just laugh you idiot." Purple, not wanting to be slapped again, slowly, but surely, started to nervously chuckle. He would understand soon.
Dib stood frozen in his tracks, literally. He was in Zim's base, but seemed to have made the mistake of getting stuck inside some sort of force field, trapping his feet to the floor. Hearing laughter (AN: A lot of laughter, huh?), Dib turned his Massive to see the origin of the sound, only to come face to face with the owner of the base.
"Zim!" Dib muttered angrily, "release me alien scum!" Zim continued laughing, ignoring the Dib-Beast's demand. ""Dib, Dib, Dib," Zim started, "it finally seems as if I may finally destroy you," he said.
"Oh yeah?" Dib asked, "How?"
On cue, Zim took out a small box, which made Dib raise an eyebrow, "What? You gonna kill me with a magic box?" he mocked. Zim just chuckled. "Of course not," Zim said, "We both know I tried that a month ago. No Dib, this is different."
Placing the box on the ground, Zim backed up as a small robot like item fired a laser to cut a hole in its container. Wheeling itself out, it stood at a mere 2ft. It wasn't really impressive looking, its details a little foggy, possibly due to a lazy author who will leave the robot image to the readers imagination.
"That?" Dib asked, "The magic box of doom was more intimidating." Zim just waited, scratching his posterior in response. "Just wait Dib-Beast; your doom is imminent," Zim said nonchalantly. Dib just watched the robot, when suddenly giant claws five bigger it popped out of its torso. Now feeling fear, Dib screamed at the top of his lungs, while Zim just laughed and laughed and laughed.
The robot never got more than an inch to Dibs head, as a giant package fell through Zim base. "Huh?" Zim asked, "What is this?" A second later, an Irken, dressed in what appeared to be a UPS uniform, fell through the hole in the ceiling, landing perfectly on the floor. Looking around, he soon saw Zim.
"Mr. Zim?" the Irken asked.
"Yes, how may the mighty Zim help you?" Zim asked. The Irken soon pulled out a small letter, reading it aloud;
"DearInvader Zim: Tallest Purple and I, Tallest Red, have decided to send you a package that shall help with your invasion. Use it wisely. Signed, your Tallests."
The Irken finished reading and put the letter away, only to see Zim already clawing at the package. Not wanting to see what happened next, the Irken prepared to leave, but was stopped by Dib. "Uh… excuse me," the Dib began to ask, "But can you help me out of here?"
Seeing as he didn't have anything else to do, the Irken obliged, and easily managed to pull Dib loose from his restraints. Thanking the Irken, Dib quickly left, soon followed by said Irken.
Now back to Zim.
Zim had finally clawed his way through the boxes wrapping, and began to open it to see its contents. The next thing he knew, Zim could feel his face being sucked on a Sir Unit. Easily pulling it off, Zim held it with a confused look. 'Why did the Tallests send the mighty Zim another assistant? Zim already has two of those,' Zim thought.
Putting the Sir Unit down, Zim walked back to the box, only to fall back as it exploded into several other Sir Units, all of which were completely defective. Not knowing how to act, Zim just watched as the Sirs destroyed his base. It was only when he noticed the Dib was gone, and that his great new toy had been destroyed by the package, that Zim understood what was happening.
"Stop!" he yelled to the crazed Sir Units, "Stop destroying the beautiful base of Zim!" Hearing Zim yelling, the Sirs turned to face him, ignoring the now destroyed machinery. Zim gulped, knowing what was about to come. And it came. All the Sirs attacked him, laughing the whole time.
At that same time, Gir came down the base via hole in the ceiling, still playing with his little piggy. However, he quickly took noticed of the mass beating taking place nearby. "Ooh," ooh'd Gir, "Wat's dat?" the robot asked no one particular. Skipping to the group, Gir began hearing what sounded like punches being throne, buzz saws sawing, and someone yelling in pain. "Why does it hurt so much!" yelled the person. Upon further inspection, Gir noticed it was his master hidden beneath the mass beating. "Mastuh? Are you playing without me?" Gir asked, a tear falling down his face.
Hearing the new voice, the group of Sirs turned to face Gir. Taking noticed of a new toy, they left Zim, who thanked the gods, and began surrounding Gir, who just stood there, piggy in hand. Preparing to jump, they hesitated. Now staring at him, Gir felt a smile on his face light up. New Friends!
One Sir walking to him, Gir held up his arm, "Hi friend!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, the Sir Unit ignoring this. Picking up his its hand, Gir had high hopes for a handshake, but the Sir instead went for his other hand, which held his piggy. A confused look on his face, along with the others faces, Gir looked at them, then his piggy, then the Sirs again.
"You like mah piggy?" he asked, which caused the Sirs to all nod in unison. "You can play with him if you like. I have lots a others," Gir said, giving the piggy to his new friend. "Just play nice, piggys hurt-" Gir didn't finish, as the Sir ripped the piggy in two.
Gir stood still, staring at his piggy, now half piggys, and sat on the floor. Slowly getting into fetal position, Gir started rocking back and forth, mumbling something along the lines of 'Ima miss you piggy.'
Zim, seeing all of this, stood up, his PAK healing his wounds. "Stop with the whining Gir. You have dozens upon dozens of piggy, remember?" The little robot immediately shot up, a smile on face, "Oh yeah," he said. Opening his head, all of Girs piggy flew out, showing the Sir Units, all of whom were amazed at the sight before them. It took only a second for them to start playing with them, making sure not to tear them.
Zim inwardly chuckled at himself. Sir units being amazed at piggys? Well, if they liked piggys, they all might as well be paid in piggys- 'THAT'S IT!' thought Zim. 'My great machine is gone, but now ZIM has an army of Sir Units!' Immediately coming up with ideas, all of which ended with Zim has lord of Earth, his Sir Units as his personal guards. Zim climbed onto a pile of pipes, all broken by the Sirs, preparing to call an announcement.
"Sir Units!" Zim called to the robots, all of whom stopped playing with the piggys to stare at him, "I understand you like the piggy?" he asked the group,who all nodding, including Gir. Zim chuckled, "Well, how would you like an infinite amount of piggys?" This caused them all to stand, looking to each other. More piggys? Yes, that would be amazing, wouldn't it?
"All you have to do to get your piggys," Zim announced, "is follow the amazing Zim!"
The Sirs all had a questioning look on their faces. One stepped up to Zim, "What are we supposed to do? Kill, plunder, and conquer?" Zim, although amazed by the talking Sir, simply smiled and responded, "Precisely." This caused all the Sirs to smile to one another.
On cue, the pipes Zim stood on let loose a torrent of steam, propelling Zim in the land. Using his spider legs, he landed among the Sirs. Gir took this opportunity to pull out a stereo and started playing some music.
I know that your powers of retention are as wet as a Hyoomans's backside Zim said to his army, some biting their arms and legs. But thick as you are, pay attention! My words are a matter of pride. The Irken said as he smacked the Sir, causing all of them to jump in line, saluting.
Studying them all, pausing in front of Gir, waving his hand in front of his face, It's clear from your vacant expression, the lights are not all on upstairs. This caused some Sirs to start laughing to themselves, which in turn caused Zim to march in front of them scowling.
But we're talking Kings and succession; even you can't be caught unawares! Zim said as he pushed the two Sirs into some vents, which, of course, exploding, sending the Sirs upward.
So Be Prepared for the chance of a life time Zim said as he climbed a ladder to a platform, Be Prepared for sensational news!
A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer Gir flew to Zim via jet, holding an arm up, showing he had a question. With a nod from Zim, Gir asked And where do we feature?
Zim chuckled and picked up Gir by the head, who was smiling with his tongue out, and threw him back down to the bottom level Just listen to teacher he yelled to Gir as he fell.
I know it sounds sordid but you'll be rewarded when at last I am giving my dues! Yelled Zim as he climbed to a higher platform, with the Sir Units all flying to the one before. And injustice deliciously squared, Be prepared!
"Yeah, Be Prepared! We'll be prepared!" shouted Gir, but asked again, "For what?"
"For the death of the Dib!" Zim shouted back. "Why? Is he sick?" asked one of the Sirs.
Zim sighed and clenched the area that would have been between his nose if he had one. "No you FOOL. We're going to kill him… and the other Hyoomans too." Zim announced.
"Great idea! Who needs Dib?" Gir shouted as the other Sirs chanted 'No Hyoomans Lalalalalala' over and over again.
"Idiots! There will be a Dib!" Zim shouted in his superior tone.
"Hey, but you said-" A Sir was interrupted, "Zim will need a slave, won't he? Stick with Zim, and you will have endless piggys!" Shouted the green alien, which prompted the Sir Units to cheer with glee. "Long live Zim! Long live Zim!" They cheered.
By now, all the steam from the busted pipes and vents had covered the entire lab, and with the help from the light, it all gave the room a yellow tint. It was through this yellow steam that the Sir Units formed up small lines and started marching around, for the fun of it I suppose.
It's great that we'll soon be connected. With a king who'll be all-time adored They chanted as they continued to march. Zim, still above them, smiled. Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected, He said, to take certain duties on board. Saying this, Zim ran a claw under his neck, acknowledging an act of murder.
The future is littered with prizes! And though I'm the main addressee, the point I must emphasize is, Zim jumped down in the middle of the Sir Units, YOU WONT GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME! Just then, Zim's lab began to shake, the destruction from earlier fully coming out, for the small part of ground Zim stood on began rising upwards.
Zim ignored this, however, and still told his small group of soldiers, So Be Prepared for the coup of the century! He said, Be prepared for the murkiest scam! He continued, still rising upwards, and, thankfully, through the same hole as earlier. The floor under the Sirs did the same, following their new master.
Still rising, Zim said to himself, Meticulous planning, Tenacity spanning, Decades of Denial, Is simply why I'll be King undisputed respected, saluted, and seen as the wonder I am!
Finally, Zim and the Sirs stopped rising, steam beating passed them. By now, they were above Zim's house, coming out of it really. Dib, along with every other person around just stared as Zim rose. "Does anyone else see this?" Dib asked.
Yes my teeth and Ambitions are bared! Zim shouted to the heavens, not noticing where he was, Be Prepared! Hearing this, the Sir Units repeated their master, for added effect. Yes our teeth and ambitions are bared! BE PREPARED!
Saying this, the whole alien group burst into laughter. But, feeling the warmth of the morning sun, Zim looked down to see a crowds of people staring at him, Dib being one of them.
"Uh, This… I'm… We're…" Zim tried to explain, but soon decided to stick with a classic, "This is normal!" he shouted to the crowd, all of whom decided to nod in agreement. After all, stuff like this happened all the time nowadays. Dib just face palmed, too embarrassed to be around his own species.
Soon, the crowd dispersed, leaving only Dib with Zim and his Sirs. Zim, being Zim, couldn't stand awkward moments like this, and just turned to his Soldiers, making sure not to slip off his perch. "Sir Units! There is the Dib! Get him and his MASSIVE head of smell!" Zim commanded.
The Sirs saluted to their leader and did so. Zim laughed as he watched the beating of the Dib. The Earth could wait for now.
Yay! That is the ending to my Longest One-shot yet. Again, Invader Jrek, I hoped you liked it. And if anyone else has a request for any Classic Disney/Invader Zim Song-Fics, do ask in a review.
Now to everyone else, review! If you don't, you must face off tallest Purple and MIGHTY BROOM OF DOOM!