NOTE: The following chapter has not been beta'd.

ALSO: Just to make it clear, I wrote this story about 2 or 3 years ago. My more recent stories are a hell lot better!

Frank

I felt bad when I realised/realized something I hadn't noticed before. At some point, between when Gerard started drawing me, and when we doing that test for homework, good old Mikey had disappeared somewhere. I point this out to Gerard, who motioned 'up'. I guess he must of gone to bed.

"I feel bad not realising he had gone..." I mumbled

"Then go see him". said Gerard snuggling down in the sofa.

"Don't you feel bad? You didn't realise he was gone either?" i pointed out

"Yes but your were there" He said

I stared at him. Gerard eyes grew big...

"why would that be...?" i couldn't finish my question... Was he saying that-

" I was drawing you wasn't I? I've been wanting to draw you for ages, and you'd never let me! Didn't notice what i was drawing before you asked me?"

"no..." i said slowly, shaking my head

"It was my cartoon of you! The one you designed for me to draw when I was 13, you 11! Didn't your reconise it?" Gerard temper had rose. I dont know why he was so bothered.

"No sorry, I-"

I was about to explain I hadn't been focusing enough to realise it, but Gerard cut me off.

"It was only two fucking years ago! You made me draw it ALL the time! you MADE me!"

Gerard was seriously pissed, and stomped out the room. i heard the sound of converses on the kitchen floor.

I decided, since he was pissed off with me, and I him, i might as well go see if Mikey is okay.

Gerard

Why did I say that? Any of that! So what if he couldn't remember one simple fucking drawing...

'SO what? It matters to you. HE matters to you..' said a tiny voice in side my head.

I stood at the sink, before turning my head upside down, turning to tape on and half washing in it, and half drinking the water. I coughed and spluttered several times, as the water tried to swim to my lungs.

Maybe I should let my lungs fill with water. I wanted to die anyway. I had yelled at Frank, I had been unfair.

I was sad because I'd yelled at him

I was sad because he couldn't remember the picture

I was sad because he thinks him self ugly

I was sad because he was sad.

But i was also fucking angry!

Angry because of the picture

Angry at my self

Angry because I didn't understand what all this meant...

I hated being away from him. I couldn't bare it. He made me feel so happy and as if was in one piece when he was around. I felt broken and shattered when ever he was gone. I heard my dad coming in from the back door. I didn't want to see him. He'd only pester me and tell me to stop being so 'Emo' and 'Girly'. I don't cut my self, and i dont wear pink dresses, there for I am neither of these things. But due to me being depressed alot lately, wearing black and eyeliner, my Dad seems to be slightly 'disgusted' by me. Though he's never said it. I knew he would head straight to the kitchen, so i quickly ran to the living room, away from him, but to Frank. Frank wasn't there. I fell on to the sofa and closed my eyes.

"Gerard? Mikey? Frank?" Called out my dad as he walked in to the living room.

I kept my eyes close, pretending to be asleep. He must of heard me fall on to the sofa,

I heard him step in then pause. He sighed, then left. I lied there for a while. I couldn't hear anything from Mikey and Frank, but i heard dad making him self a cup of tea, followed by the sound of slippers on carpet steps. Everyone must be in bed. Accept me. I didn't feel like bed. Instead, I layed there... so even longer.

I must have fallen slightly to sleep, only to be awoke by a thump from upstairs.

I sat up and riggled my self as small as i could i the corner of the sofa. I cried. I didn't know totally why I did. But I did... I cried.

Frank

I knocked on the door.

"Mikey? It's Frank..." I said.

I heard a moan,and the creek of the bed.

"What?" He asked rudely, as i opened the door

MIkey was lying on his stomach, fully clothed on the still made be bed.

"whats up?" i said casually.

"Not much" He said sitting up.

I sat next Mikey on the bed and rested my hand on his shoulder.

"why did you leave earlier?" i asked

"Can't remember" yawned Mikey

"you've been asleep" I annouced to him..

"Nah... of course not (!)" He yawned again.

I nodded, removed my hand and looked down. I didn't realise my face had fallen.

"what's wrong, Frankie?" Asked a worried Mikey, now placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Oh nothing, just a argument with Gerard" i sighed.

There was a pause

"He may be my big brother but I still don't see what you see in him." He continued.

"He a bit of an idiot. He just caught up in his own little work of paintbrushes, meowmeow, vodka, and smoke. You could do alot better. You shouldn't place your heart on someone who would rip it by having a druken one-night stand.

For 12 year old, Mikey did make alot of sense. Too much maybe.

"ooo! Looks who suddenly the amazing grand-high-knower-of-love-and-relationships" I teased.

Mikey frowned. He saw him move sightly closer, his arm moved to my other shoulder, so he was half hugging me.

"You could do alot better" He said again.

"really?" i placed my head on his shoulder.

"Yes. Defently" Said Mikey.

"Yeah totally (!) Some other guy will totally fancy a small boy who draws tattoos on himself, and eats dog food!" I half laughed.

The dog food thing is meerly half a joke. I once ate some dog food for a dare set by the Way Brothers, and found it wasn't so bad! Kinda nice once you get used to it!

Mikey laughed slightly. He began to sit up, then he grabbed me. I felt something soft, but slighty sticky, paste it self on to me lips. Mikey was kissing me. I was kissing Mikey. Kissing Mikey...

Kissing Mikey, The boy I'd known since play school! The boy I built sand castles with at the beach, The boy I did school projects with. The boy who's brother I loved.

But I didn't pull away. in fact I pushed on to his lips. It wasn't a proper kiss. It wasn't snogging! Just a childish kiss. And thats all it was going to let it be!

I pushed him away from me. He fell off the bed and hit the floor with a thump.

"I'm sorry" He stuttered "I-"

"Shhh... Shh... Mikey." I shushed him. "You're 12, you don't know what you want" I soothed him"you don't want me!"

"How can I not be sure I want you, but you can be sure you want my brother?" He said, darkley

I soothed him more before planting a single quick kiss on his lips.

"I'm going back to bed" he muttered and got off the floor.

I simply nodded, before heading back down stairs...