It hadn't been meant to be slipped out. No one had heard it before, the fact that this was how she felt. Yet when it had, she hadn't changed expression really. Being one of them meant more than sufficient training at staying composed, though it was something she struggled with still.
Her eyes went elsewhere, to the sky where she followed the flight of a bird. One black bird, all alone. The hardness in her features started to diminish and she finally looked back down at her hands. "Fine. I'll talk." Low laughter was heard. "I really don't know why I'd tell you of all people, but whatever."
Perhaps it was because he was Ponyboy's brother. The redhead hadn't spoken to the younger boy too much, but when they'd talked-it'd been easy. Real. And he'd given such high praise for this brother, so maybe, that was why. She didn't know, all she wanted was to let it all go. Regrets would probably follow but then it'd be too late at least. The words would be out.
"You think we have things easy, but we don't. Things are rough all over. Believe me, they are," she added, seeing the look in his eyes. Hers only met them for a moment before she looked back down.
"There's a pressure to be like everyone else, and for some of us, we have to. My parents, they..that's why they had me, you know. To be like the others and have a kid. Apparently having three members was the perfect family." A twisted smile appeared.
What to think of this, Sodapop didn't know. His eyes had widened slightly, and he just kept looking at her,elbows on his legs, hands clasped together. Movement came back as his head moved to the side a bit, eyes down on the ground for a second. A question came to mind but he wasn't sure if he should let it free to the air. "Cherry-"
"No, there was no love. Not with their marriage, certainly not with me." A chuckle could be heard but what Soda could see of her eyes after glancing up showed that despite what kind of attitude she put on of not caring, she did. The redhead did, it was obvious from a tinge of sadness and pain. Maybe Socs weren't all that cold after all. She'd always sounded fiery from what others had said, but he'd always imagined a freezer burn being committed.
Again, he tried to speak. "I-"
She burrowed on, ignoring his attempts to cut in. "Not like you. I'm the only child, and that means in my parents' eyes, I'm to be perfect. I have to be perfect-their kind of perfect." A shake of her head was noted before her hand crept up, tucking some hair behind her ear. "A perfect dictated by everyone else."
The greaser tilted his head to the side, having shifted his position so now only his hands rested on his knees. "And you? Is it your idea of perfect?"
Cherry shook her head, expression a bit calmer. Only her eyebrows showed that she wasn't in the most pleasant mood. "Not at all."
So she didn't live a life she wanted. That was new-but wasn't at the same time. Socs hid behind masks all the time. "Why stay then?"
Green eyes meeting his, she bit her bottom lip for a moment. Then the words escaped. "I don't know. All my reasons…they're dead."