CHAPTER 3 – SHARED CONSCIOUSNESS

John lay restless in his bed later that night, gave up tossing and turning to fold his hands behind his head and stare broodingly up at the ceiling. It had been an... interesting... evening, and he used that term loosely. She had captivated him, and in a way that was so unlike any feeling he had had before and this certainly bothered him more than it should. She was almost childlike in her emotions, but all woman in the way she touched him and he felt as though she carried more than one person inside her, one who wanted everything now, and the other who sought to enjoy the slower form of courtship.

He fell asleep to dream of a dark haired, violet eyed girl, who held a glimmer of something else inside her, and in the morning when he woke, the dream had gone, but the glimmer remained and he felt that edginess return.

Meeting Ronon in the mess for breakfast, he saw the knowing smirk on the Satedan's face and just gave him a glare. "What?" Ronon widened his eyes innocently. "You're not going to bed and tell?"

"Nothing happened Ronon... that's the weird thing... nothing happened. And it wasn't her that put the brakes on, it was me! Go figure!"

Ronon reached across the table and placed his hand on John's forehead. "No fever... so what's your excuse?"

"God Ronon, I really have no idea. We had a nice picnic, walk in the moonlight, it was romantic and the heat was there... I could feel it and I know she could feel it, but then I put the brakes on... just wasn't the right time, I needed more from her... not making any sense, am I?"

"Not a bit Sheppard!"

"Well big guy, thanks for your vote of support – next time you have an emotional issue, don't come crying to me... just saying!" John thumped down his cup of coffee like a sulky child and dragged his hand through his hair.

"The lady in question is heading our way... might wanna put this conversation on hold." Ronon lowered his eyes, giving John the heads up, and resumed eating his breakfast waiting until Andrea arrived at their table. She only paused, did not look as though she had any intention of joining them and smiled down at John. Her hand reached out to slide through his hair and watching how her eyes followed her hand movement, Ronon felt a felt a little ripple of unease. She seemed almost disconnected from the movement, as though her hand did one thing and her mind wondered at why she did it, then pushed the unwelcome thought away. Not my business he thought. John was a big boy and needed to work out the women he chose to date for himself. Some of them had been a little... questionable... and far be it from him to make criticism, he was afterall, just taking Ronon's advice and getting some sack time. Except he wasn't even getting that Ronan thought with a grin.

Andrea... hey... how are you this morning?" He found himself just looking at her, and noting that she had grabbed a coffee to go, he shot a quick salute to Ronon and jumped up to follow her, intending to walk her to wherever she was going.

He took her hand as soon as they left the mess, enjoying the feel of her much smaller one in his own. Her glance flicked down to their joined hands, and he saw the shadow of something that passed in front of her eyes, then was gone – then saw the lovely smile that blossomed across her face, as though whatever had fought it's battle inside her was resolved. "You will walk me to the jumper bay John? I would enjoy that, thank you. I thought of you last night, lying in my bed. I do not require much sleep... yet, and my mind needed to become occupied with thought, and it was of you. Is that normal? To think about the person you have been with?"

He stilled her then, and pulled her gently toward him. "You are strangest woman I have ever met, and you know something... - in a bizare way that I cannot even begin to explain, that really appeals to me. Far more than it should. Why is that sweetheart? You hiding something I should know about? Am I gonna get involved with you and find out you have some terrible hidden secret that comes out and bites me on the ass?" He reached down with his mouth to nuzzle the soft skin at her neck and heard her sigh.

"I am keeping her away John, but it is sometimes difficult. I don't believe she will 'bite you on the ass' though. Her intentions are not that, they are something much more basic. I want more than she does and I am becoming stronger than her. You will see."

John stilled, a little in shock at what she had said. He framed her face with his hands and stared searchingly into her eyes. "What the hell are you talking about? That wasn't just weird, that was downright creepy! You talk as though you are two people. You did get a psych clearance before you came to Atlantis didn't you? Just my luck, I find a woman that I really want to spend some time with, she turns out to be some sort of nut job... please tell me you passed your psych evaluation... hmmm?" He was only partly joking, because he did feel a little disconcerted at the way the conversation had progressed.

Her first consciousness fought for control now, needing to put things back on the path that she had started, but the newly formed human consciousness wanted this man for herself and she had just declared war on the one who cowered afraid, in the corner of the human mind. If she failed, then her kind would be lost and she would cease to exist herself.

But both consciousness, in their own way, had developed feelings for this man and neither wanted to see him hurt. The original consciousness sent a flare of energy into the human mind, providing a link so that she could see and understand why she had needed to take the human form. And the human, Andrea, now capable of compassion began to share a tenious bond with the original and so they joined forces briefly for a moment of solidarity and it was the alien consciousness that spoke to John now.

The hand that came up and gently stroked his face felt different, more demanding, more heat, a touch that needed and would take without mercy. "There is something we need to tell you Colonel John Sheppard, something you need to hear so that you can make your own decisions... you see, we have both come to experience feelings for you and there will soon be insufficient space in this body for both sets of emotions."

"We?... I'm not gonna like this am I?" He felt the touch change, softer, sensual, less heat but left him burning for something more. The voice that came out of her mouth was different also, less certain, and the eyes that looked at him now, looked at him with something soft and wanting.

"We will tell you our story John... and you will make your decision."