A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update. I should have the next chapter up in a week..Sorry if I don't. Life gets in the way, ya know? Well, anyways, here's the fourth chapter, White Flags; White Walls

It takes me a moment to realize that I'm out of what I think is a drug-induced sleep. Once that's done, and I can think clearly, I am faced with a more prominent problem than being knocked out by my former best friend. I'm chained to a wall.

My wrists are bound, behind my back, and they are on a short chain that connects to the wall. From all I can tell, as I'm facing forward and can't turn enough to see it, the chains could be in the wall. My ankles are shackled, and have the same sturdy, metal chains connected to the wall. I consider banging my head against the wall until something happens, possibly knocking myself out again, but, when I lean my head back, I feel some sort of pillow that would prevent me from hurting myself. Katniss, assuming she's the one who had me placed here, has got nerve. These chains will bug me. So will the white walls that make up the room -prison cell- that I'm in.

Everywhere I look, I can see white. Not the soft white like the clouds, but the angry, glaring, almost neon white that comes from L.E.D light bulbs, exactly like the bare, singular one hanging from the ceiling in the center of the room. It takes me about fifteen minutes to figure out what I'm doing here. Answer myself about why I'm chained up in a room with stupid white walls. The realization hits me like a slap to the face. I'm in some sort of mental ward.

Anger surges through me. I try to run, only to have the chains restrain me. I try yanking them from the wall, to no avail. I don't want help from people; I don't want to heal, I can't heal… and that's exactly why they put me here. Because I'm they know that I'm suicidal and think that they can change that. I have nothing to live for, so what's the point? Why can't anyone understand that? The guilt has scarred me; there will never be something that makes it ok. I try again to yank the chains out of the wall so I can flee…

It's at that moment when a door opens and Katniss walks in. I still fight my restraints. Concern is etched into her face. She speaks quietly, but her eyes latch onto mine, echoing every word that she speaks.

"I'm sorry Gale, it was for the best. I couldn't, no, can't, let you do that to yourself. It'll all get better, I prom-"

"Don't lie about that, Katniss," I growl. "There's nothing left for me to be happy about." My voice softens considerably." And the only thing that can has closed its doors on me."

She knows that I mean her. She is the only one that will ever be able to make me happy again. And she won't take me. I saw the pain in her eyes when she found out that it was the rebel's bombs (my bombs) that killed her sister. I knew then that she couldn't love me. I won't put false hope there. It can't happen, she's already happy with Peeta, and I won't be the one to take that away.

"Gale…" Words seem to fail her. She knows that she won't be able to love me the way I want her to. I just nod, confirming my point to her. I stop fighting with the chains. She searches for words that she thinks might console me. Silence reigns for a while before she continues:

"Gale… I just can't…"

"Why not?" I say stubbornly. I know why, I just need to hear it again, make myself acknowledge it again. It's rhetorical.

Katniss doesn't respond right away. Tears start to well in her shockingly clear grey eyes. When she speaks, her voice comes out as faint as a ghost and as worn as her mother's was. She chokes out: "Prim."

She lets the stream of tears flow. The guilt pulses through me. I did this. I can't remember seeing her this vulnerable; this open with herself to others. What has happened to Katniss?

I lock my eyes onto hers. How easily I used to lose myself in them; how easily I could talk to her, look into her eyes and see the bond between us. The simple bond that kept us together besides the need to survive. Now I only see hurt and pain. The affects the war had still scar her as they scar me. But she didn't kill the innocent…

"I… know. I'll never forgive myself. I don't expect you to, either."

My words lead to yet another peal of uncomfortable silence. Katniss looks away and blinks the tears out of her eyes. I look at the ground, suddenly finding the carpet extremely interesting.

"Why?" She blurts it out randomly. She looks shocked with herself, and clamps her hand over her mouth. She whispers, "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have said that-"

I cut her off. She has the right to know. The right to know why I made that bomb.

"I was trying to end the war, Catn- Katniss. I designed those bombs hoping that they could be used to destroy a building or something; I never imagined them being used to hurt anyone. Yet, they were used all because I… I was too absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't question it when we got the order to make a bunch of them, I just made them and they were sent to the hovercraft… and you know what happened next."

"Coin gave the command, right?" She asks, her voice sounding desperate, seeking reassurance. I can't console her… Nobody can miss me when I'm gone… My family and I lost contact a while ago when I shut myself away. They do care, but when I told them that I wanted to go, they accepted it. They accepted it with tears, many tears, but they know that for me, it wouldn't get better. They said their goodbyes.

I force myself to answer. "Yes she did."

The next question comes from out of the blue. "Why can't you heal from the war?"

It completely throws me of balance. My mind staggers; I mentally shut down for a minute.

"Come again?" I say faintly, my voice reflecting my emotions perfectly. She repeats herself, and my mind grasps what she's saying.

"Why can't I heal from the war? I killed the innocent! Thousands of lives were lost at my hands! I don't deserve to live happily ever after! I deserve pain and misery and suffering! And that can't even make what I've done right!" I yell, my voice cracking, sounding desperate. "Just let me die!"

She starts saying things, probably trying to console me, but I ignore them. She gives up talking to me, for now. I'm sure she'll come back later. Katniss turns around and pulls the door open. Before she leaves, she whispers:

"Gale, please don't feel that way. For me." And with that, she pulls the door shut, leaving me to drown in my pool of thoughts.

Ok, I will admit I'm not quite sure what I want to happen in the next chapter, or how I'm going to make something happen between Gale and Katniss that will change things. If you have an ideas, I'm all ears! If I get inspiration, I might be able to update sooner, if you follow... Thanks for reading!