Chapter Four: Non-Fiction

I woke up slightly delirious and completely confused. Where was I... Huh! Oh my God! I passed out in the secret area! I only sat down for just a moment, I didn't expect to-SHIT! What time is it? Holy crap... the sun is so high. It's gotta be at least noon. Oh no. My classes!! And I'm sun burned! Dammit!!

And Squall? I swung my head over, still frantic and found he was fast asleep across the way from me. Oh no. His SeeD test! I tried to stand up but ended up falling on my ass again. My nerves definitely were not ready to respond to my brain's commands. My whole body was pissed off it had to be woken up. I finally managed to stand and moved over to Squall's peaceful body. He was snoring softly and his mouth hung loosely open. It was kind of endearing, at least on him. He seemed so calm, collected and dignified when awake that seeing him halfway human made me smile a little.

I nudged him gently to which he responded with only a slight grunt. I nudged harder and he lazily swatted my hand away. I shoved him and to this he woke up with a start.

"What the fuck?" He sounded aggrivated. Probably wasn't the best way to wake a person up, especially someone I didn't know too well, but I didn't care much. He sat up a little and took a look around. "What the fuck?" He sounded generally confused.

"We passed out." I told him, though I'm sure the explanation wasn't needed.

"Oh... fuck." He stumbled to his feet, turned and ran out, back into the training center pushing me away in the process.

I heard something drop to the ground as he wrestled his way through the foliage, back into the training center. I looked down to find his pack of cigarettes. I picked them up, pinching them between my thumb and forefinger, as if touching them would cause another fit of coughing.

"Hey!" I called after the sounds of the rustling and occasional curse words, but no response came. "You're cigarettes!" I yelled again, this time a little louder but the noise had stopped and he was gone, out of ear shot. I pocketed them, making a mental note to return them the next time I saw him. I knew it would be soon, if he comes out here as often as I had been doing lately, then we had to run into each other sooner rather than later.

"Hope he doesn't need these today..." Was all I could say as I began to push myself through the mess of greenery blocking me from the training center.

I made my way back to my dorm, still feeling groggy and totally confused. Once I got into the main hallway I realized what I was wearing and just how much I stood out. A baggy sweater and pajama pants wasn't exactly a norm to see in the middle of the day, especially during class hours. I hurried back to my room, avoiding all eye contact as much as possible. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was being surveyed. It was a purely psychosomatic issue I'm sure but I couldn't help but feel as if all eyes were on me. And the more I felt the eyes boring into me the more I felt disheveled, smelly and just generally crappy looking.

"Hey!" I heard a male voice cry out in front of me. I looked up cautiously and some blonde haired kid was staring at me with the stupidest smile I had ever seen. I stared blankly back at him. Maybe if I was dressed like a normal day dwelling human being and didn't feel like I hadn't brushed my teeth in 8 years I might have furthered this conversation. But I felt like I was in no position to meet someone new. I felt like a hunch back, destined to be shunned away to my towers where I toll bells... or whatever hunchbacks do nowadays.

I nodded curtly and made my irritated eye roll as noticeable as possible. He took the hint and as I was about to move past him, he blocked my path. Apparently he took the hint and ran with it in the opposite direction of my intention. I gave him my best 'what-the-fuck-is-this-shit' face but he held fast.

"You don't remember me?" He asked with a pleasant smile and an equally friendly giggle.

"No." my reply was solid and direct.

"C'mon..." he coaxed me on but I was too tired and grungy to go along with this extra painful session of teeth pulling. "Not even the slightest?"

"No."

"I helped you bring Squall back, dude!" Huh? Oh yeeeaaaah... someone did help me bring him back to the infirmary that day. I didn't even think to look at his face, or thank him, or remember him. My focus was on the injured man in my arms, not befriending the good natured denizens of Garden.

"Oh, really?" Was my only response. I nodded my head in acknowledgment. "Well... Thank you." I was sincere... I just would have been more sincere if he had caught me at a better time.

"Yeah. No problem." He gave me that dumb smile again. I stared at him for a moment and, filtering through my frustration and anxiousness, I forced out a smile that was painfully fake. And we smiled some more... and some more.

"I have to go now." I said with a nod. I tried to move around him again but his body blocked my path once more. Dude, not today. Why today? Why now?

"I know you're in a hurry but, my name's Zell. Zell Dincht." He stuck his hand out and I shook it.

"Rinoa Heartilly." I said, mustering another smile up, which happened to feel like vomit.

"Well, I'll see you later then, Rinoa?" He said with another smile as I moved past him.

"Yeah! Bye Zell!" I said with a wave. A breath of fresh air washed over my previously tense body and I breathed a sigh of relief that felt nearly orgasmic.

After taking a shower, brushing my teeth and becoming presentable to society I realized I should've been a little nicer to Zell. I began to feel stupid. Just because I looked like crap wasn't a real excuse to be a little brat to someone who helped an injured man. The more I thought about it the more I felt like shit about it. I would need to apologize next time I saw him... whenever that may be.

I hurried to my next, and last, class. I had missed all my classes that day and I figured I'd feel like a real pile of smoldering dung if I didn't go to at least one class. That wasn't true. I'd still feel like a big piece of shit, but at least I wouldn't feel so guilty about avoiding all my responsibilities.

I wasn't prepared at all for the coming class. I hadn't done any of the assignments for the class, or the reading so I prayed that the instructor just wouldn't notice me. But with the wish I had made I knew I had just jinxed myself.

I took a seat at the back of the class, pulled out the books for class and already bent my head a little lower than usual, hiding my face behind the computer. At the time, I figured this hiding tactic would throw the instructor off, but in reality it probably drew him more to me. But when you're in such a situation it's difficult to act naturally and nonchalant.

As I pretended to be really interested in the book before me, I heard the loud thump of someone sitting next to me.

"Well hello stranger." The voice was filled with exuberance and it startled me slightly. I looked up to find Zell. How perfect is this? I could get all that worry off my chest in less than an hour!

"Zell!" I was relieved. I could finally explain myself. "Zell?" I asked. He was in this class?? I hadn't even noticed. He looked saddened by my reaction.

"You didn't notice me in this class, did you? Can't get noticed when I do a good deed for your friend and-"

"He's not really my friend but, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being rude to you earlier." I rushed the first part of my statement, being very careful to make sure he didn't think otherwise. Not to sure why I cared though or why it would matter.

"No problem." He didn't seem to care all too much, as if my apologizing was already too much. "But you're not friends?" He seemed a little surprised.

"Well, ummm..." I didn't really understand it myself. I mean, if he were any normal person I'd probably say yes... but Squall was a different breed of personality. Someone I had yet to confront in my lifetime. "I guess we could be considered acquaintances." I paused. Was that even a correct description? "Let's just say that if he saw me in the hall I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't say 'hi' to me." That summed it up nicely.

"Really? That sucks." He seemed fascinated by it for some reason. Why did that suck? Squall wasn't the easiest person to get close to... why would you bother befriending someone so defensive to every word that comes out of your mouth?

"Why does that suck? Is he a cool guy to hang out with or something?" I didn't believe it, but I felt I should ask. Maybe he hated women, or just me.

"I don't know... I just thought you guys would be, or should be, friends. You did kinda help him out when he was in a bind. I guess he doesn't really have friends though... does he?" It was a question to which I responded with only a little shrug.

Squall seemed enigmatic to Zell. I wanted to question him further but the instructor walked in just as I was about to formulate another question. Come to think of it... Squall seemed enigmatic to everyone. From what I gathered, the whole student body just knew of him as Quistis' 'boyfriend' of sorts. Dr. Kadowaki didn't even know him personally, she just knew he was 'famous.' Who was this kid? The curiosity burned me. Throughout the whole class I could focus on nothing but Squall and the mystery that seemed to surround him.

After class Zell and I decided to get something to eat at the cafeteria. I wanted to keep interrogating him about Squall. Any information would be good at that point. I felt like I needed to be more prepared next time I met up with Squall. I'd know what to talk about, what to avoid, what to be interested in, what to look out for. He felt like an invading army. I needed to know everything about every little nuance in order to secure a victory. But Squall was a well fortified enemy... I don't think anyone knew much of anything.

"You don't see him a lot on campus or anything?" I asked as Zell crammed a fifth hot dog into his mouth. It was kind of gross to watch him eat, disturbing really. It was like his mouth was a shredder, it didn't matter what went in because it all had the same fate anyway.

He mumbled something that sounded like a 'no' through all of that dismembered hot dog still waiting to be swallowed. He swallowed hard and I could practically feel the tension that was currently sliding down his throat. It looked painful but he looked satiated.

"No." He said clearly as he looked up at me. "Well, I see him every once in a while." He shrugged, giving me the signal he could be no further help. "I don't really see him with anyone. He's generally alone. That's kind of his thing I think."

"What is?"

"Being alone."

Depressing. "What makes you think that?" I asked. He must have some insight to make judgements like that.

"I just never see him with anybody. The only time I've ever seen him really interacting with people was at that fight. And I wouldn't really call that interacting..."

"Huh..." The more I thought about him the more curious I became. The less progress I saw, the more I wanted to see some.

I lazily stirred my drink around with my straw as I began to slowly zone out of the conversation I was holding. But a voice snatched my attention away.

"Hey." A calm, collected, self assured voice said. I looked up. A smile spread across my face. It was Seifer.

"Oh..." I smoothed out my uniform as inconspicuously as possible. "Hey Seifer." I tried to act nonchalant but I'm pretty sure it wasn't working. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zell make a small scowl. "How are you feeling since the other day?" I was trying to be as flirtatious as possible... but bringing up medical issues probably wasn't very sexy.

"Better." He said still holding the same slightly smug smile. He darted eyes toward Zell and his face fell. He nodded his head. "Chicken wuss." He greeted as if it was all too casual. Zell turned away and bit his lip so hard that I was ready to see blood poor out. Seifer turned back to me and smiled. I was confused, and a little irritated that that had to happen in front of me, but my irritation subsided for the moment when I looked into his beautiful face. God... he was so hot.

He threw me a nod. "See you around. I'll stop by the infirmary."

"Please do. It gets boring."

"I can imagine." He shot another look at Zell, and then back to me. "Catch you later." He walked away and my eyes followed briefly but as soon as he was out of a ten foot radius from me... I remembered yesterday very clearly.

As soon as Seifer had left the infirmary the other day and I had some time on my hands, I, being the creeper I was, decided to go nosing about in Seifer's medical information. Weird? Yeah. Illegal? Probably. But I didn't care. Who was going to know except me? I pulled his file out and read it with enthusiasm, well, with as much enthusiasm one can have when looking at someone else's medical papers. I read his height, eye color, allergies... then I got to 'official selected weapon.' Disappointment filled me from my toes up to the very crown of my skull. He was a gunblade user... the only other one in Garden... the only other person that could have been fighting Squall that day. Flashes of red sliding off stainless steel and a bloody Squall crossed my mind and made me ill. Seifer's sex appeal was instantly lost and my insignificant crush that had just begun to burn was suffocated by the reality of the situation.

But then why was I still attracted to him? I had completely forgotten about the entire realization I had uncovered yesterday when he came around just then. He was attractive... but why? It wasn't his actions or his deeds... it was his physical appearance and personality that made me smile and blush. He was like the boys back at home, something I dearly missed. Where boys were easy to understand, handsome, charming and out going.

"You know him?" Zell asked, irate. I, too, had become irritated with Seifer and at myself for flirting back just then.

"Yeah." I sounded defeated which I hadn't intended at all.

"You seemed quite buddy buddy with him." Zell sounded almost mad at me.

I shook my head. I didn't want to get into it but something deeply upset me about the whole situation. It was beyond the point of simple irritation about the small world I was occupying and the inconvenient irritations it was causing me... it felt more disturbing than that. This situation that I had accidently put myself right in the middle of really perturbed me.

"Good!" Zell said with a smile. I had redeemed his faith in me. "Why don't you like him?" He sounded like he wanted to commiserate with me.

"He..." It was practically impossible to explain what I was feeling just then, as I wasn't even to sure myself. I just threw something at him. "He hurt Squall. Not just hurt... but injured him. It's one thing to get in a fight, but it's a whole other issue when you start trying to kill each other." That sounded naive and ridiculous, but it was halfway true.

He paused. "You really like Squall, don't you?" He took that the wrong way. And I completely see why. My last statement sounded as if Seifer had ended up hurting someone else besides Squall, I wouldn't have given a shit.

"It's not that. It just pisses me off to see people get hurt so unnecessarily. I just happen to be sympathizing with Squall about it." I explained. He nodded curiously. He probably didn't understand where I was coming from and neither did I, but what I said was true for the most part .

I wondered if Squall had actually been the one to inflict the injury, putting Seifer in his position. Would I being feeling so sympathetic to Seifer? Would I be angry at Squall? Would I have walked out on him when I saw him at the secret area those two times? I didn't know, and I didn't really want to think about it., but that wouldn't stop me. That idea pestered me the whole day. In truth, I probably would have become best friends with Seifer by now, hanging out and always attacking Squall for what he might have done... but would he deserve it? Does Seifer deserve my hatred now? I couldn't get a clear answer. I just kept going round in circles about the whole situation.

Time went by without one sighting from Squall. Not in the hallways, not in the infirmary nor out on the secret area. I had gone out to the secret area many times, always expecting to see him there, sitting and smoking but no one was ever there. Just me, the setting sun and the seagulls. I eventually stopped having reasons to keep going out there, save for the fact that it became more of a habit than anything. I always kept his dropped pack of cigarettes with me at all times, just in case I might stumble into him again and I could say 'Oh my! You dropped these a while ago!' and voila! A conversation would thus begin and it wouldn't be painfully awkward like our last few encounters and I'd learn all about his life. Well, I'm sure it wouldn't have actually occurred that way, but the more I fantasized about our eventual reunion the more grandiose and elaborate it became in my mind.

And the more time I spent without seeing him the more Squall became a weird kind of fiction to me. He was enigmatic before... but now he felt almost legendary to me. Like an old wives-tale or a ghost story handed down through the ages. The more the story was told lacking any kind of hard evidence of its existence the sillier and stranger it began to sound, 'till it was past the point of reality. It was beginning to feel like Squall never existed and I had dreamed it all up. He had almost literally vanished off the face of the planet.

Seifer was the same too. He couldn't be found anywhere either. Though, to be fair I was actually making attempts to not run into him. I avoided the lunch hour where I had seen him with Zell that day and I thanked the lord above that he never came to visit me in the infirmary. I didn't want to deal with him anymore. He gave me an unsettling feeling, still the same as I had a few weeks ago when I found out about him and Squall. And I most certainly didn't want to compromise my relative hatred for him with my lustful desires whenever he came to me in the flesh.

But the more fiction it all became, the more I seemed to forget about the situation entirely. My trips to the secret area became purposeful again, walking in hallways didn't involve me scouring the hordes of people for brunette or blonde haired men, the cigarettes I had held onto for Squall found a home at the very back of my desk drawer and my job at the infirmary became tedious again. In the back of my mind I always knew that Squall and Seifer were both very real, of course, and I remembered the way I had felt about it all, but I just stopped reminding myself about it. Life was no better or worse without them. Maybe their incidents were just passing ships through the ocean of life, slowing down briefly and waving at my lighthouse. Maybe. I don't know. I just knew that I had better things to think about.

Months had gone by and Zell, Selphie and I had become a very close knit trio. I was pretty surprised to see things develop the way that they had. I wasn't expecting for Zell to get along so well with Selphie, though I really should have anticipated it. They were practically the same person after all, the only thing really differentiating them was their gender.

"This is pissing me off." Selphie fumed as she shoved another dress back into its rack. "Everything is so damn fugly!" We were out shopping for dresses for the SeeD Inauguration Ball that was coming up at the end of the week. Apparently, it happened every year and all students at Garden, even alumni, were encouraged to attend to see the new SeeDs. It was a very lavish kind of gathering, something that didn't seem quite customary for a military school but it got most of the student body really excited.

"Then another store?" Zell suggested lazily. He wasn't going to find anything here so he couldn't care less if we left.

"Yeah..." Selphie sounded defeated. This was the second store we had ventured into and not even the smallest glimpse of anything that seemed acceptable to wear adorned any of the racks.

"You don't have anything in your closet?" I asked.

"No! Well, yes. But I need something new." She explained. Zell scoffed and rolled his eyes. "It's a chick thing, Zell." I nodded in confirmation of this statement. I had tons of dresses in my wardrobe that I would never wear again, but I needed a new dress. There was something special about revealing yourself to a public audience wearing something that even you can be proud of and say 'I just bought it.' Or maybe it was just me. Yeah, it was probably just me.

"So... do you ask people to go with you to this dance-thing?" I asked as we strolled down the shopping corridors in Balamb. I really didn't want to find some random guy to ask then pretend to be interested in him the whole night. I'd much rather go stag. Formal affairs were always so much more fun that way.

"No. Well, you can bring someone but it's not customary to make sure you have a date. You just show up dressed to impress, clap for the new SeeDs and those that passed the written exam, drink, eat and dance." Zell explained as he finished off a can of soda he bought no more than a minute ago.

"Psh, then why am I getting dressed up at all if I won't have a date?" I questioned. I was serious too. If I had no one to impress then what was the point? I might as well not waist the money. Sure stag was better but it always felt great to impress your date with how fucking hot you're looking. Having them be insanely proud of the fact that they came with you, rather than someone else, was always a huge confidence booster.

"Rinoa," Selphie turned to me, "are you listening to yourself? Not having a date is the perfect time to buy a new dress! You may attract that magic someone from across the room if you're looking just that damn gorgeous. What's sexier than a fine looking stranger suddenly attracted to you and asking 'excuse me madame, might I have this dance?'" She acted out how the scenario might unfold giving the proper wrist flicks and low bows in my general direction. "And then you dance the night away and make sweet love all night long."

She had a point. That did sound appealing, however unlikely it might have been. Plus I hadn't really gotten dressed up in a long time. I might as well go all out for the occasion.

"Okay. But don't let me get snatched up by some skeeze." I reminded as I looked between Zell and Selphie. They nodded and we went into the next store.

The store we had just entered proved to be fruitful. Selphie ended up buying a terribly expensive yellow dress that flattered her like nothing else could. I, after much delibiration, ended up choosing a cream colored dress. It wasn't too tight and had the right amount of fabric for what Selphie called the 'skirt whirl.'

"Excuse me?" I gave her an incredulous smirk. Skirt whirl? She had no idea what she was talking about and she knew it.

"It's important! Seriously. Just spin around and you'll fan out like a fucking parachute." Selphie twirled her finger, motioning for me to do the same. I gave a lame little whirl in the fitting room and the dress instantly came to life. The material lifted and with it the dress' true wonder began to shine through. Looking down, the surface of the material was like the ocean on an given sunny day. Sparkling, tantalizing and filled with a quiet kind of magic. The material rippled methodically and the barely noticable sequins winked in and out, reminding us that they had been there all along. I was mesmerized.

I stopped and was briefly stunned that such a relatively plain looking dress could produce such an enchanting effect. Selphie read my expression loud and clear.

"I told you." She crossed her arms smuggly. "If you're stunned by it then imagine the look on a boy's face."

"That was pretty cool looking." Zell chimed in as he peered over Selphie's shoulder, nodding in acknowledgement.

I looked at myself in the mirror and it felt like I was wearing a completely different dress than I was just a minute ago. I smiled and smoothed out the fabric. If this didn't get me at least to first base I didn't want to know what would.

Kadowaki let me off early the day of the dance. She could probably smell my impatience.

"Have fun tonight." She said with a grin as she picked up the papers I had just been working on. She gave me a glance and a knowing smile. "Pick up a cute boy for me too." She laughed.

"We'll see. But first I need to score one." I said as I went to grab my jacket from the coat rack.

"Trust me, that won't be hard. With a bomb shell like you attending, what kind of man would pass you up?"

"You flatter me."

"Well, plus the ratio of men to women at Garden isn't exactly proportionate. I think it's every two men for every one girl." She noted.

"So I'm really going to feel like an ugly witch if I don't get a boy. Is that what you're getting at?" I was only half kidding.

"Well, I mean, who knows how many of those guys are gay?" She said as she walked me out of the clinic.

"If I don't leave without at least one man asking me for a dance I'm denouncing the male sex. This is my declaration and you are my witness to it." I cried as I mockingly tensed my face.

"Good to know." She said flipintly. I moved ahead of her about ready to leave when she began again. "Seriously though, have fun tonight. Even if every boy there is gay."

I nodded and smiled at her good humor. "Thanks. I will."

--

A knocking came from my door. Well, it wasn't knocking more like a fierce pounding. It was Selphie. She had promised to escort me to the dance. We had both agreed that it was always a terribly awkward feeling when you arrive at a party not knowing what to do or who to talk to. So we figured we would arrive with each other, talk to each other and be each other's company for at least part of the night, or at least until a boy pulled one of us away. Or, if there were no boys at all then we'd just get impossibly drunk, make fools of ourselves and dance the night away. The latter seemed slightly more appealing than the former.

Her incessant knocking was giving me a headache.

"God Selphie!" I cried as I headed for the door, hoping she would hear my comment. "If the doors not broken then your hand must be crippled."

I swung the door open and a beaming Selphie stood before me. I examined the door and a small indent was visible. I ran my hand over the miniature crater she had created with her fist of death. I glowered at her.

"You're paying for that."

"Fuck that!" She said with a scoff and a roll of her eyes. She brushed past me and entered my room. "Tell me you're ready."

"Almost." I said as I kicked the door closed behind me. I went straight back to my bathroom to finish the intense make up procedure that was currently going on on my face.

"What shoes are you wearing?" She asked as she bent down in my closet to examine my shoe collection.

"Some kind of heel." I wasn't really listening to her. This make up application was getting serious. I was driven and focused. I had to look hot and I didn't care how much make up I had to cake on... I'd look fucking sexy no matter what, god dammit.

I heard the loud smack and tumble of something hit the tile of the bathroom just next to me. I looked down and found that Selphie had tossed a pair of heels at me. I looked up at her, expecting an explanation as to her choice.

"They looked cute." She shrugged. I shrugged.

"Work for me." I said with little objection. I examined my now painted face in the mirror and turned to Selphie. "Do I look okay? Or do I look like a clown?"

"You look super-duper." She said as she stood. "Let's roll!" She pointed toward the door. I slipped my shoes on and we strode out.

The second we made it out of my room the excitement of the night hit us.

"We're gonna party!" Selphie said as she clamped her hands together. She gave a small jump, just small enough so that her legs wouldn't buckle under from her high heels

I linked my arm with Selphie as we walked down the dorm hallway toward the ballroom. Huge smiles were plastered on our faces as we made the occasional giggle whenever we ended up bumping into one another. The night was clear, beautiful and warm. It was perfect which only elated our excitement to astronomical proportions.

"Okay so, how about this," Selphie began as we neared the elevator, "if neither of us has been asked to dance in the first thirty minutes we have to choose a dance partner for each other. And we have to go up to them and ask them to dance... no matter who they are." She said with an evil grin.

"What happened to us just getting ridiculously drunk?" I was slightly disappointed.

"That plan isn't nearly as sexy." She reminded me sternly, as if I should have already known.

"Fine." There was no point in arguing with Selphie, it was pointless.

"But you're just gonna fuck me over by choosing some ugly loser, aren't you?" It wasn't a question. I knew Selphie all too well.

"No. Well, unless you mess with me first. Then all bets are off." She said as she pressed the elevator call button.

"Likewise." We shook on it.

The elevator arrived and we boarded it.

When the doors opened on the correct floor a cloud of sweetly scented champagnes, wines and other delicious alcoholic concoctions assaulted our senses. It stung the nose delicately but just enough for it to be pleasantly masochistic. The sounds of eager and happy chatter mixed harmoniously with the polite, cheerful orchestral music from the orchestra that was snuggled into a corner, just to the right of the stage. The mood of the whole event was so positive that it felt hard to even think about not enjoying the event, the company or at the very least ones self. Waitresses floated around the vast ballroom, dodging in and out of people and orbiting around larger groups, steadily holding their trays, being careful not to spill their contents. Everyone was dressed in their nicest and the air of the whole event felt, well, expensive and luxurious.

Being the daughter of a General I had had the luxury of attending such events. They were terrible bores when ever I attended and I mostly just sulked in a corner and got fall-on-my-face drunk. This scene before me knocked on the nostalgia of those parties. But this was much more pleasant. Those other parties were stuffy, filled with people you knew were so far stuck up their own asses that they could see out their own mouths. This felt so much more natural. The people who were in attendance deserved to be here; they had worked hard. Plus, the whole purpose of this party was of a more virtuous nature. We weren't celebrating how awesome someone still was or a politicians half-birthday. No, this was for a real reason, a reason that deserved to be recognized.

Selphie and I walked down the marble steps from the elevator and assimilated instantly with the crowd. Our heels clicked delicately as we strode around the ballroom, looking for someone whom we might know. We snatched champagne glasses from a passing waitress who smiled and nodded.

"Oh, Rinoa! There you are!" A voice from behind called. I turned around and found Kadowaki standing there, an empty glass dangling in her hands, threatening to fall any second. She was dressed for the occasion which, for me, was a sort of weird site.

"Hey! I thought you weren't coming." I mockingly scolded her.

"Me too, but when I got to talking to you about boys I, well, I just couldn't help myself." She giggled a little. Her cheeks were beat red. It was very apparent that she was more than a little past tipsy. A waitress passed and she snatched a champagne flute from her with blazing speed, as if waiting too long would make the waitress alert to her presence and escape.

I felt Selphie's presence pressing from behind me.

"Oh! Selphie, this is Dr. Kadowaki. My boss." I stepped aside to let Selphie shake with Kadowaki. "Dr. Kadowaki, this is Selphie. My best friend and training partner." They shook, Kadowaki maybe a little too vigorously.

"Lovely to meet you." Kadowaki was being genuine, she was really excited to meet her for some reason. Selphie looked a little scared as she pulled her hand away.

"Oh my! What fine lovely ladies you have caught Kadowaki!" Another voice chimed in from behind Kadowaki. I recognized him as Headmaster Cid who also seemed to have had a little too much to drink. The party was only twenty minutes in... they must have started early.

He looked at me briefly. I could see the cogs of his mind spinning, trying to find my name but I could see that the alcohol had slowed the gears considerably.

"Rinoa, right?" He looked at me, pretty positive he was correct, but still holding up a bit of a guard in case of a mistake. I nodded.

"Nice to see you again, Headmaster." I said with a smile. He took my hand into his own and shook it. He beamed a smile at me.

"Now I know I already told you that it's just Cid. That Headmaster nonsense gives me a headache. Especially on such a happy occasion!" He threw his arms out, as if commanding me to look at the festivities going on about me. His exuberance was endearing and I had to smile.

He introduced himself to Selphie before I got the chance to bridge that gap for them. We attempted to talk to the two of them but they seemed far more fascinated with each other than attempting to hold a conversation with us. Eventually, we decided to just leave them in their own little world.

"I think they were flirting." Selphie commented as she finished off her first champagne of the night.

"Weird." Was all I could say as I sank the last drop of champagne down my throat.

A waitress hurried by and we replaced our empty flutes with fresh ones.

Selphie and I clinked the tips of our glasses together as gently as possible.

"To a good night." Selphie declared confidently, lifting her glass a little higher.

"To a good night." I repeated and we sipped on the champagne. With our declaration I could feel that natural, instinctual excitement well up in the pit of my stomach and I knew it really was going to be an awesome night.

The squeal of a microphone finding its frequency interrupted the brief moment we were sharing and the crowd looked to the stage. A young looking girl with shoulder length brunette hair tapped the microphone meekly. She was wearing an official SeeD uniform and looked very professional, which juxtaposed her strangely timid behavior well.

"Hello?" She heard the reverberation of her own voice bounce around the palatial ballroom and she began. "Good evening everyone and welcome to the SeeD Inauguration Ball." People clapped politely. She went on about the formalities or something and what it meant to be a SeeD. Selphie looked interested, but I knew that her mind was miles away. I too began to zone out. My eyes wandered around the room. They crawled up the golden pillars that all connected at the very top, creating a beautiful glass dome above us. The dome's glass was so clean and presented absolutely no reflection that I could have sworn it was just us, four walls and the night sky.

By the time I switched my focus back to the woman, she was already announcing those who had passed the written exam. I began to zone out again but a familiar name caught my ears and made them strain almost painfully.

"... Squall Leonhart and..." the rest of her words dissolved into incomprehensible warbling. So he wasn't just fiction any longer. Maybe he was here... What if he was here? I should have brought the cigarettes! I began to mentally beat myself up. Not just about the cigarettes but about not expecting this.

Selphie gave me a look after she heard the name too. We hadn't heard that name in so long, it felt strange to have it refreshed. The prospect of him being here elated me and made me smile. I didn't miss him or anything... but just a chance to look at him again, prove that he was real made my heart flutter a little. I began to look around the room for a sighting of him but I couldn't find him. Maybe he wasn't here... if I knew anything about Squall then I knew he wouldn't be here. I was hoping a little too hard. But it didn't depress me to find him not here. I didn't care. It would have just been fun to see him again after so long. But just hearing the name was a good enough reminder.

She and a noticeably drunk Cid announced the new SeeDs to us all and the five new SeeDs bowed, waved and looked generally uncomfortable. Cid posed with each one for a photo. He wrapped his arm around them, threw a thumbs up or a peace sign accompanied by a massive smile and rosy red cheeks. They would be pictures he'd be happy to never see again.

"Well, that's all from the administration," the girl said, gathering up some papers from her podium, "and have a great night." She left and the orchestra started up another number. Couples moved to the center of the ballroom and began to dance.

"All right, we have thirty minutes until it's show time." Selphie said to me as we finished our champagne. We promptly replaced our empty glasses with ones that were practically spilling champagne.

"I bet you get picked first." I said as I nudged her playfully.

"Doubt it. I bet neither of us will get asked to dance." She said being quite serious.

"That's a little depressing."

"I'd rather know that both of us are ugly than know that one of us is prettier than the other." She explained.

"That's not what it means at all. Some men just find different qualities attracti-" but before I could finish my rebuttal a boy appeared before us. I halted instantly and we both froze, knowing what he was about to ask. Which one of us would it be? Our stares were so intense that they could have probably blasted a whole through a mountain. He looked slightly taken aback from the intensity of the looks.

"Ummm," he began. He turned to Selphie. Fuck. "You're in my, umm," he was so nervous. "My um, Esther History course. Selphie, right?" She nodded and batted her eyelashes slowly and deliberately. "Would you like to dance?" He offered as he politely extended a hand for her own.

"I would love to! Nida, right?" She asked. He smiled and nodded. He looked overcome with excitement and relief. They began to walk away and Selphie swiveled her head back to me. "I'm hotter than you!" She mouthed with the gestures to match.

"He's ugly!" I mouthed back. She flicked me off but I just waved her goodbye. Dammit, she won. ... now what? Crap. That's something we didn't plan out. What happens when the other is chosen? You can't just leave me out to dry, Selph! ... Son of a bitch.

I sighed and looked at my half empty glass. I downed the rest of it and I snatched a fresh one from a nearby waitress. I'll just get waisted. Fuck it.

I began to wander around aimlessly, watching the dancing couples. But even that was entertaining for only so long. I looked down to my feet, not knowing where to stare any longer and caught sight of my sparkling dress. Such an expensive piece of fabric... what a waist. I've been walking around for God knows how long and not even a turn of a head. What good was a hot outfit if no one was going to even look at you twice? I should have just used some old crummy number instead of shelling out the dough for this. Now I was getting pissed off just being here. Maybe I could just leave? Selphie wouldn't miss me. She had a man to have fun with and didn't need my company tonight.

I looked at my glass hoping it would give me the answer I was looking for, like some kind of magic 8 ball. But no answer came. Stupid booze. What are you good for? I noticed the reflection of the stars above in the small pool of champagne that remained at the bottom of the glass. I looked up and admired them. They were so pretty... It felt like I always took them for granted. I stared at them for what felt like forever. I counted all of the pretty little diamonds and differentiated each one between stars and planets. I was bored.

I was about to give up on this party and go home but just as I was about to look away from the sky a white streak slashed the darkness. I was a little surprised to be honest. I hadn't seen a shooting star in so long. I closed my eyes and made a wish. 'Let me get a dance partner way hotter than Selphie's' I wished. I smiled a little at the silliness of my wish. I looked away from the sky and back to the ballroom and I felt eyes pressing into me from the corner. I looked over with that same silly smile on my face and found Squall staring at me. So he was here after all.

My smile faded as I realized the amount of nostalgia that pounced on me all at once. It wasn't anything sentimental, it just felt strange to see that oddly swept hair, that scar, and those eyes that could pierce steel. I smiled at him and I pointed towards where the shooting star had passed, silently asking if he had seen it too. He cocked his head curiously at me, not quite understanding. I wasn't going to keep chatting from a distance so I walked up to him. As I approached, he seemed a bit bewildered that I would even bother with him.

"I almost didn't recognize you. You're not in the Infirmary or out in the secret area." I teased with a giggle. He remained quiet, gently sipping his champagne. He acted like he didn't even remember me.

I stared at him, scrutinizing his lack of interest.

"Tell me you remember me." I was expecting a 'no.'

He nodded after a moment.

"What's my name?" I challenged. I remembered very vividly his inept ability to completely ignore and forget everything about me.

"Rinoa."

To be honest I was surprised he remembered my name.

A silence. A deep silence.

"Would you wanna dance with me?" It sounded more bashful and shy then I had intended it to. He avoided eye contact with me in an attempt to ease out his refusal. But before he could say anything I jumped in. "C'mon. You're the cutest guy here." Oh, I just said that out loud. That champagne must be running it's course. He looked a little startled at the comment but blushed anyhow. "Let me guess... you'll only dance with someone you like." I ventured a guess. I knew he wasn't going to respond though. "How about you just pretend you like my company?" I offered. "C'mon, it can't be fun just sitting here in this corner looking at the stars all night."

"You were doing it." Touche good sir, touche. "... plus I can't dance." I was surprised I didn't have to pull more teeth for that answer.

"You'll be fine." He gave me a look which read 'you have got to be kidding.' "I promise." He stood fast against the wall. I took a step back from him and crossed my arms.

"Look... I think this night sucks too. But I at least need to dance one dance and I can't be out there alone." I knew he could commiserate with me on that level. Still no budging from him though. Fine, if he wanted to do this the hard way, I was more than happy to comply.

"C'mon," I grabbed his hand in my own. There was shock written all over his face that I would even dare touch him. "It'll be fun." I began to drag him out from his corner. It was like he was glued to the area because he was hardly moving an inch, even when I put all my force into it. He put his glass down and finally stumbled along after me.

I shoved him in front of me and into the dead center of the dancing area, couples whirling around us.

"What the-" He sounded pissed off, but I really didn't care. I grabbed his arms in a vice grip and placed them in the correct dance position. I decided to not respond to any of his complaints, because I knew there would be too many to keep track of.

I tried leading him in the right direction but he looked totally bewildered about what was going on. I had to smile at his clumsiness. He pushed against me, fell back, stepped on the tip of my toes and was a general mess.

By the third time he had stepped on my foot he ripped his hands away from me and began to storm back to his corner.

"I'm done with this." He mumbled angrily.

"Oh c'mon! Just try and have fun." I said with a little laugh as he pulled him back to me. I pushed him into the correct positions again and we started where we left off. I finally got him to do a step in time, and then another and I could see the confidence build in both of our eyes. But before that confidence could really take us anywhere we slammed hard into a couple.

"Watch out, you morons!" The man yelled at us. He was older and looked like a total snob, as did his whore wife. They looked down on us with smug faces.

"Fuck off, oldy." I yelled back. The look on their faces was of utter horror and disgust. I relished in it. I stayed staring a few seconds longer than necessary. I dragged Squall away from them and I turned to him. He seemed slightly amused. My heart melted as I saw the emotion lightly paint his eyes and twitch his lips up. I smiled back at him.

I took his hands again but this time he held onto me. He grabbed me with confidence and positioned himself correctly this time. He began to lead me around the room with the rest of the couples. We were perfectly in time and he was much better than I was or could ever be. I didn't have time to give him a scrutinizing stare, as if asking what that whole charade about 'not being able to dance' stuff was about. But he had me wrapped up in his arms and we were focused so intensely on the dancethat I couldn't think about much else.

I stared at his chest for a majority of the dance and when I finally looked up I found him staring right back at me and directly into my eyes. A small smile creased his lips delicately and I couldn't help but stumble a bit. He caught me with ease and put me right back into the rhythm of it all. As I continued to stare up at him I realized that he was actually really handsome. I wonder why I hadn't noticed it before?

He spun me out and we executed the rest of the dance steps flawlessly, stepping in perfect time with the other couples around us. He spun me in and out until I was dizzy. I giggled a little and my smile only widened. He whirled me back into his chest and held me there briefly.

Our eyes caught and I suddenly felt an energy exchange between us. A silent understanding about something I was clueless to. His eyes looked like they had something to tell me, something important and necessary. I couldn't look away and I don't think he could either.

The lights suddenly dimmed, pulling me away from the trap of his eyes and an explosion boomed overhead. He darted his head up and fireworks cracked and lit up the sky and the room around us. I took my focus off of the show above and looked back to Squall.

His face lit up with each new color that blasted throughout the sky and his eyes danced with the reflections of the explosions. That same small, hidden smile still rested on his lips and I could feel the warmth radiate off of him as he continued to hold onto me. He really was very attractive. I again wondered why I hadn't seen it earlier, because it was so painfully obvious to me now.

I pulled my eyes from his face and as I did I saw a familiar character come stomping in our direction from behind Squall. Her blonde hair couldn't be mistaken. It was too pure, too perfect to be anybody else's. I wanted to get out of this situation immediately. I didn't want to get wrapped up in this weirdness. It was weird enough just knowing Squall, but dealing with Quistis and him was something I didn't even want to think about. But before I had a chance to pull away she was upon us, her eyes piercing mine. I could feel the hate shoot from her and stab me right in the gut. I could only stare back stupidly.

She tapped Squall on the shoulder delicately.

"Squall." She said sweetly, contradicting the hate she was pouring all over me.

His face fell instantly. The small smile evaporated and the fireworks that played in his eyes faded. He tightened his grip on me. He cocked his head slightly so he could see her out of the corner of his eye.

"You'll dance with a complete stranger but won't even talk with me?" There was venom leaking through all of her sweetness.

Squall turned to me, becoming angrier with every passing second.

"I'll see you later, Rinoa." He let go of me and I stepped back from the scene.

"Bye Squall." I said meekly, still a little frightened of Quistis and the intensity she commanded.

I turned away from them and walked for the elevator. The night was over. That scenario killed any further fun that could have developed from this event. While the whole Quistis situation wasn't terribly traumatizing, it was a little disturbing. The issues I had avoided for a good few months had suddenly all come back in full force in the span of less than twenty minutes. It sort of knocked the wind out of me to see not only Squall, but his problems I had obsessed over as well.

At the top of the stairs I turned back to see what the situation had escalated to but no one was there. Just empty space where we had once been. It was like it was fiction all over again. I felt like I had imagined it. Like I had just fantasized something impossible for the fun of it. Maybe the champagne was laced with something... maybe Squall never existed. The further I removed myself from him, the closer I seemed to become. I felt like I was going crazy.

"You little slut!" Selphie yelled with excitement as she ran up to me.

"Huh?"

"You and Squall, sittin' in a tree!" She chanted with a mocking finger in my face.

"You saw it, too!?" I was so elated that someone else had seen the scene that I probably sounded a little crazy.

"... Well, duh. Everyone was watching." She said with a little giggle. "The Squall was not only interacting with someone but dancing!? Unheard of!" She laughed.

I turned back to where the scene had occurred, just to make sure that I hadn't imagined they had vanished or something ridiculous like that.

"Where'd they go?" I asked as I continued to search the ballroom.

"Quistis and Squall? They walked off to the balcony. Scandalous, huh?" She jabbed me in the ribs tenderly.

"Very..." I mumbled.

a/n: thank you so much for reading.